Hi,
How’s it going?
Today I want to talk to both people with bipolar disorder and the people who support them.
Whether you are a bipolar supporter or survivor you have to watch your stress levels.
For the person with bipolar disorder, stress can become a trigger that leads to a bipolar episode.
AND it’s VERY unhealthy to have too much stress in your life.
For the supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, you don’t have to worry about going into a bipolar episode, but you do have to worry about stress destroying your overall physical and emotional health.
Unfortunately, when you are supporting someone with bipolar disorder, you can tend to let your stress get out of control. And if you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to take
care of your loved one.
There are some good ways to reduce the stress in your life, whether you have bipolar disorder, or are supporting someone who does.
Here are some good stress prevention or reduction techniques:
1. Buy or borrow a book on how
to reduce stress. This may sound
strange, but they have entire books
devoted to this serious problem.
2. Just breathe. This sounds too simple
to work, I know. But breathing in
and out slowly reduces stress and
besides, it’s f.ree.
3. Laugh and smile. Talk to people who
are goofy. Go look at funny things.
Watch funny TV shows. Do something
to laugh. It’s been proven that humor
has healthy qualities to it, and can
reduce a person’s stress..
4. Focus on the positive and only glance
at the negative. This is one of the things
I talk about in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Having a positive attitude is so very important to de-stressing your life, or at least bringing
your problems down to a manageable level.
My friend has a saying that she keeps taped to her computer that she looks at whenever she
gets stressed.
It says, “When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away…Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”
Positive affirmations like that are another way to keep your stress levels down.
Just tell yourself that you can do it.
That you can make it.
That you don’t need this stress in your life.
That you will conquer this stress.
That you will be a calmer person.
That you will be more positive.
These are all positive affirmations, and they will work on your stress. Also, avoiding stressful situations will help you to control your stress.
If being around a lot of people is stressful for you, then try to only go to social events where there will be just a few people there.
Go to small family gatherings rather than large ones, or make an excuse to leave early if it gets too stressful
for you.
If you are working outside the home, take a break when you feel yourself getting stressed.
For someone who has bipolar disorder, stress is an enemy that can affect your stability.
For a supporter, it is an enemy that can affect your well-being.
Hopefully, you’ll use some of the suggestions that I’ve given you to help you lower your stress levels.
How do you handle stress?
If you have other ways to de-stress your life that have worked for you, please share them.
If they’ve worked for you, they might work for someone else, too.
And if you use any of these ideas, I’d love to hear about it!
I love success stories!
Post responses below
Yes there is a lot of stress being a suppporter of a loved one. I use the old count to 10 method then go hug my man and say something nice to him and we both cool off. Also I go for a long stay in my spa (hot tub) and turn the jets full blast till I am weak and relaxed. That really takes away the stress.
A walk with my dog is another great stress reliever, or by yourself.
Most immportant thing for me is my BIBLE. I read a chapter every day and study the bible with a group and God gives me strength to carry on and be positive.
Your doing a great job David and I love your common sense approach to bipolar. Thank you so much Alice
Need some Help, My husband applied for ssdi in May and we got a letter wanting him to go to a mental exam, has anyone here had any experience with this? Today I took some time for myself and went to breakfast with 3 friends I have known for 20yr. It was so nice to get out from my husbands black hole for awhile and hear how there husbands,kids and families are doing. It helps me to realize that everybody has problems and some worse than mine and we can still support each other. So to all us supporters out there remember get out see friends or just take some quiet time for yourself it really does work wonders. When I returned home he gotten up dressed and left to go fishing today so that is a great sign for the day. Take care
I like some of what you have shared regarding the ways to cope with stress. I want to add that it also helps to have people pray with you, for you, and be with you when they are praying for you. That action of God’s love does help too. Though Laughter is good for the soul, as it can have healing properties for those in a stressful situation. That is a paraphrase of mine regarding a scripture in Proverbs. If you can use a concordance and look up the use of the word laughter you may be able to find it’s reference in Proverbs. Other references are in Psalms too. There is also a passage in Second Corinthians that deals with the comforting of others who are in need of being comforted, and that’s the first chapter of Second Corinthians, the key there is for those who are going through a hard time, and need help they should seek others who have gone through a similar situation, as it does help to relate those stories of struggle with others so they can give counsel, guidance and direction that they recieved at such times. That too helps to deal with the stress factor. So hopefully it will work out for all who are involved. The positive statements that I read are encouragements through hard times, but one should know that God also knows all of our struggles, and heartaches, and stresses that we go through and He is very capable of helping there where one has great need. One needs to ask though as He loves to hear from His children, and those who need Salvation He will grant that to them, all they need to do is ask Him and believe that He will give it to them. But it does take a willingness to share their need and to get counsel, and have guidance in the Reading of the Word of God, so new Believers will be able to be led by wise and mature Christians who can help them through the hurdels of the walk of faith. It isn’t all a ‘bed of roses’ there are hard places that need support of fellow Believers that have been on that path of stress, struggle and sorrow before them. He can give comfort and support then through those who have been there before. Hope that too is helpful for those who face stressful situations.
I have been reading this site with great interest and of course Dave’s e-mails for some time now. I have read the material I purchased and re-read it many times. My son has recently turned 21. We have been dealing with the bi-polar episodes since he was a freshman in high school. He went from being a sweet, sensitive young man into a dour, depressed and at other times raging, uncontrollable difficult person we did not and do not recognize. We had him finally under the care of a wonderful child pyschiatrist after his hospitalization at that initial time. Medication and home/computer based schooling helped some, but it was never the same. He would not go to school and even though he has an IQ of 148, he just bearly graduated. He has been in and out of our house since he turned 18, now without a job or insurance as he is not enrolled in school. We have recently found out he is not only abusing alcohol, but also recently opiates such as vicodin, percocet and oxycodins. After trying a clinic for a drug program using a substance to block the brain receptors for the addictive responses, he went totally manic from this even using his former medication, (Much like before he was diagnosed and took an anti-depressant with ut a mood stabilizor) threatened us, stole our dog for money and ended up arrested and in jail for a week. He was to go, after being released, to the local hospital as per the direction of the magistrate. I tried to initiate probate help for state controled medical help. But the crisis nurse who picked him up from jail made a “field diagnosis” and overrode the judge, releasing him to my 82 year old mother with no warning. Needless to say, we have been living with a lot of stress. It is very damaging to a person’s health and mind. I teach young children and have found my work to be a wonderul escape for me…doing something I love each day. I have a Master’s degree and love to learn new things. Now that summer break is here and his behavior is ramping up again,I find myself near tears all the time, now calling the authorities when I am overwhelmed. The officers have been very supportive and understand there are medical issues involved. I want him to receive help, but the system he is to work with in order to get “free” dr. care and treatment through our county agency has this unstable young man going from agency to agency to be told to come back the next day, make another appointement, etc. Three and a half weeks later, he has received no treatment, no new medication recommendation and I am trying to patch things together with an old prescription of free meds I received graciously from Abbot. Each day is a new stressor. I try to walk, read, visit my mother and keep busy with the happiness my younger daughter has brought us with her recent graduation with honors from high school. She is balanced, healthy and helps me realize I did not “cause” this to happen and that the choices my son makes are his, often controlled by the chemical imbalance in his brain. His self medication with opiates, alcohol and even benedryl are all to try and slow down what must be a very stressful feeling to him as well. I can sense when a rage is coming, usually when I/we say “no” to his most current demand for money, lumber, sound equipment, phone, vehicle part…whatever item du jour is his current manic passion. Our local hospital only hospitalizes someone who makes a statement to hurt themselves or someone else. If they are interviewed and make the correct answers to the social worker or nurse, they are RELEASED with no treatment…only a 24 hour stay for observation. Dave, the word FRUSTRATED tops stress for me. I beleive in the power of positive thinking and have FAITH that there is a plan here bigger than I can understand. I have come to realize I can not force my son to make choices…he does provide me some opportunities to control him within the limits of the law…this has caused me great stress as well as I do not think jail is the place for him. But, if he continues to be non-compliant and rages at me and causes damage and drives in a rage or while under the influence of a rage (I am praying he is substance free at this time but he has not received one blood or urine test either)I am searching for the positive. I am getting farther from this base of thinking each day. So, when I see my family dr. tomorow for a check up, I am going to also make an appointment with a therapist for me. I am going to hit the tread mill, lift some weights and try to breathe. Thank you for this format to “vent” for the first time in writing. This also is powerful for me and I hope helpful to others to say, “you are not alone”, many people are experiencing similar situations and your stories are very helpful to many others. Thank you one and all for your contributions.
Hi Dave
Thank you for all this wonderful information. I sure wish we’d had information like this 12 years ago, when we watched helplessly as our 16-year-old daughter battled bipolar disorder and eventually took her life.
So, while it’s too late for us, I am very aware that there are many other kids struggling out there, and parents struggling with them. I pray that they will have more information and support than we did, and not go through what we went through.
Bless you for what you are doing.
Carry on the good work!
Clare
Upon the suggestion of my counselor, I started exercising on a daily basis first thing in the morning. Nothing difficult, just riding my bike around the neighborhood (about a mile)at a pace that is comfortable for me (of course, it gets easier every day, so that I am challenging myself to use higher level gears for the same route). I feel much more ready and relaxed to face the day. I live in a summer/winter climate, so I will have to make changes once the weather becomes too bad to ride my bike. I am considering joining our park district workout room for the winter and using the stationary bike. Its not as peaceful as a bike ride in the woods at 6 am, but I’m sure it will help my “not getting off the couch or out of the bed” moods that I get during the winter, which affects my going to work. I missed fifteen days last year, in a work year is only 10 months with 13 sick days allowed. I want to be more productive at work, so during my current vacation, I want to be to a point where working out is a routine. I am hoping this will help with my depression during the winter. (My job is a stressful one by nature, but it is difficult to change, since I went to college to do this job and have no other marketable skills to where I could change careers). I am just trying to find more things that are “stress relievers” for when I go back to work. Thanks for addressing this specific problem, Dave.
One thing you failed to mention, Dave, is the STRESS that just HAPPENS to you. I haven’t PURPOSELY gotten into my stressful situations that I can’t control. I am in dire financial straits, and just THINKING about HOW I”m going to pay my bills is stressful. Also, I’m facing a court battle against a con man, that if I win, I stasd to get a LOT of money; but he is “playing games” and may not even take this matter to court. I have been TRYING to rent my extra bedroom since OCTOBER, and anyone who comes to see it, passes it by.
Right now, I have vertigo (dizzyness), combined with double vision and an inability to focus on what I’m reading. (Watch out for typos!). The eye doctor I saw yesterday is referring me to my neurologist, as he says NOTHING is wrong with my eyes (nothing macular, no glaucoma or cataracts) for evaluation. But the worst thing that happened was – as I was leaving his office and went outside, I forgot there were tiered steps leading to his office, and the sun was sooo BRIGHT I couldn’t SEE the stairs – and down I went!! I skinned my shin and ankle, but continued with my afternoon errands.
After being on AIM with my boyfriend last night, when I went to get up – I couldn’t put weight on my left leg! It hurt sooo much, that I got off the computer relatively early, and went to bed. I slept ALL day today, hoping the pain would go away – EUREKA – it DID!! I feel sooo much better. I caught up on sleep (up at 4AM Tuesday and 6AM yesterday), so feel MUCH better. Sometimes, you just have to “clock out” one day out of 365 to relieve the stress.
PRAYER is my way of relieving stress. Having faith and belief in GOD takes me somewhere that I can be totally free; and meditation and breathing techniques DO help.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and thsoe who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I try my best to relax go for walks ,bake sothing to make everyone happy.The one thing I tell myself is that no one is happy everyday and it will soon be a better day and they are the ones I love just asking for help and not knowing how to just tell me this.I also depend alot on my pets because they always make me feel loved and calm when things seem to go the wrong way . I also found that alot of one on one time help also . It makes them feel needed and it makes that person feel wanted and then things start to change. I am able to tell them I need time.