Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
Have you ever known anyone who is scared of the dentist? I think we all know a person (or two) like this. Maybe you’ve even known someone like this: I met someone recently who had some very bad teeth, and they were only getting worse. Without going into detail, they were beginning to cause them serious problems. But when I asked them what the dentist had to say about all this, they had to admit that they hadn’t been.
What would prompt someone with bad teeth to not go to the dentist? Well, I suppose it could have been finances and a lack of insurance. But more likely it was fear of the dentist. Many people who are afraid of the dentist will wait until the last minute to go and take care of their teeth.
Well, that’s not healthy, but it’s not exactly my point, either. My point is that many people with bipolar disorder do the same thing. They wait until the “last minute” to get treatment. For some, this may look like the person who gets treatment in a hospital for a situation that they let become a crisis.
For others, this may look like waiting to see the psychiatrist until they are in a full-blown episode. Others still get their medications, but only take them when they feel like they need them.
And it doesn’t even have to be about medications. Waiting to go to therapy until you’re breaking down crying all the time isn’t the best game plan, either, especially when you knew you needed it before. Waiting to start trying to meditate until you’re so stressed out that you couldn’t manage it if your life depended on it isn’t going to work very well. But people do it. And then many wonder why it didn’t work so well.
But I can’t just tell you to stop waiting without addressing your reasons for doing so. So what are the reasons that people will wait until the last minute to get treatment? Well, for some it is out of fear.
This could be fear of the disorder itself, and manifests itself in denial. This could be fear of the treatment, maybe because it is the unknown, or maybe because they’ve heard stories of others’ bad experiences.
When it comes to medications, it could be fear of the side effects. When it comes to therapy, it could be the fear that they’ll have to spill all of their emotions in an hour’s period of time – and they’re not ready for that yet. It may be fear of revealing that they have the disorder to begin with, because of the fear of the stigma that goes with it.
There are other reasons besides fear to wait until the last minute. Some of them include forgetfulness, procrastination, and misunderstandings. But the important thing to remember is that the reasons for starting treatment now are more important than the reasons for waiting.
Do you have any reasons for waiting? Can you think of all the ways that are more important and meaningful for you to do it now instead of waiting?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
My Husband displays all the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.
He takes Lamotrigine and Celexa. Before we married he had mentioned (in an off-hand manner) that he had been diagnosed Bipolar. After a years worth of dealing with his emotional outbursts and taking everything I say and twisting it to make me the “bad guy”, I decided to investigate Bipolar Disorder. Wow, what an eye opener!
Presently he is in a full blown episode and I am no longer speaking to him because it doesn’t help and gets twisted around and used against me anyway. He is angry at me for using the word “bipolar” to describe him. He calls me the “Pop Psychologist” because I try to explain how his actions mirror those of bipolar disorder. He calls it “depression”. I am at the point that I no longer care how he “feels” and am attempting to get myself and my life back on track. I am at the point of leaving him for good because it doesn’t seem that he can ever be “normal” and I am tired of all that I have done to help him going unnoticed and unappreciated. Do you know if there are any treatments and pharmaceuticals that can actually help him to think and act like a normal caring human being? I don’t like to give up, and I did make wedding vows that I would like to keep, but this disorder turns him into a monster that I do not care to be around or associate with. Is there any hope for him to conquer this or at least keep it under control before it totally destroys our marriage?
Thanks for listening.
Cindy G.
WELL, MY FEAR IS THAT i AM AFRAID THAT I WILL BE PUT ON ALL SORTS OF MEDICATIONS. AND I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY KNOW THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. THEY THINK IT BELIEVE ME. BUT i DONT WANT TO BE WALKING AROUND LIKE A ZOMBIE. I CANT SLEEP, I AM UP FOR DAYS, I DO THINGS ON IMPULSE,ETC, SO IN THE PAST , YEARS AGO, THEY, THE (dOCS) PUT ME ON SO MUCH MEDS , THAT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING..SO , THAT IS WHY I DONT GO AND SEE ANYONE ABOUT MY CONDITION. I KNOW THAT I REALLY SHOULD , BECAUSE I KNOW THERE IS REALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME! I AM AFRAID OF MY CONDITION, I AM AFRAID TO FACE THIS CONDITION. AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EVEN GO ABOUT IT! I THOUGHT THIS BIPOLOR, WAS NOT REAL, THAT I DONT HAVE THAT..BUT I KNOW THAT I SHOULD OF WENT TO SOMEONE , BUT I JUST DIDNT SEE THAT IT WAS THAT BAD, I SEE NOW, THAT IT IS THAT BAD. I THINK AT TIMES, THAT I CAN HANDLE IT ON MY OWN, BUT IN REALITY, I KNOW THAT I CANNOT. BUT I STILL DONT SEEK HELP OUT OF FEAR …
After almost 20 years or trying to be real and help I gave up with one manic episode with total lack of insight that has now lasted 3 years in someone I still dearly care about and love but I had to finally save my son and myself. We have excellent specialists in place for ourselves – psychologists who are very good and protective. They remind us repeatedly that we don’t have to be targets of abuse and irrational manic rage and that our healing from all the trauma is paramount. We are sad that things did not improve after holding out hope for 5 long traumatic years (really even longer). We have found that a bad psychiatrist has been the only constant in a very mentally disturbed person that we cou
hoped and prayed could go back to being the fun and loving father and husband we once knew but you cannot have a meaningful relationship with a destructive evil (Darth Vader or the Joker) mind overtaken by vicious abuse and anger. At least we have some memories that sustain us from many years ago but we also have so much trauma that the grieving over a mentally disturbed mate or parent is extremely complicated. But for our own safety we had to stop giving more chances after a horrific 5 years. Yes, the twisting and spinning of reality saying I poison my sons mind and telling everyone I am the crazy one is a red flag how sick he is and without appropriate treatment of truth based therapy and medications that have been known to work in the past, he keeps getting in trouble with the criminal justice system. The whole thing is very sad and did not have to be like this except that there has Bern an inept psychiatrist involved for 5 years 🙁
After almost 20 years or trying to be real and help I gave up with one manic episode with total lack of insight that has now lasted 3 years in someone I still dearly care about and love but I had to finally save my son and myself. We have excellent specialists in place for ourselves – psychologists who are very good and protective. They remind us repeatedly that we don’t have to be targets of abuse and irrational manic rage and that our healing from all the trauma is paramount. We are sad that things did not improve after holding out hope for 5 long traumatic years (really even longer). We have found that a bad psychiatrist has been the only constant in a very mentally disturbed person that we cou
hoped and prayed could go back to being the fun and loving father and husband we once knew but you cannot have a meaningful relationship with a destructive evil (Darth Vader or the Joker) mind overtaken by vicious abuse and anger. At least we have some memories that sustain us from many years ago but we also have so much trauma that the grieving over a mentally disturbed mate or parent is extremely complicated. But for our own safety we had to stop giving more chances after a horrific 5 years. Yes, the twisting and spinning of reality saying I poison my sons mind and telling everyone I am the crazy one is a red flag how sick he is and without appropriate treatment of truth based therapy and medications that have been known to work in the past, he keeps getting in trouble with the criminal justice system. The whole thing is very sad and did not have to be like this except that there has Bern an inept psychiatrist involved for 5 years 🙁
you know life has a funny way of showing you this exact question – sometimes you “know” you need something – like a well intended vacation or you just need to face the truth/music – and then life has a way of “volunteering” you into the situation you needed anyway….pretty much like needing to see the dentist, going for therapy, quitting a job or perhaps changing a partner – the contant hints were the pain that something needed to be done…
i’ve been wondering why i have been on a hiatus for 2 1/2 years and i just got the answer (it was time to be elsewhere)……life and the universe has a way of “taking us to the doctor” when we know we should have been there all along. Thanks for helping me remember that with that simple explanation…don’t wait till it gets painful….
I´m a mother of a son who was diagnosed to be bipolar. As a mother I hope that nothing I did while raising him as a single parent had anything to do with his condition. I have three other children and they are “normal”, but I really feel badly for my son. He can be very trying and I try to be as understanding as possible, but sometimes I just have to walk away from him, especially when he is in one of his rages. He is on his second marriage, and right now is separated. He is very intelligent, and creative and since he is not on medication, I feel he self medicates himself with his rockabilly music in which he is the lead singer and really sings some loud and rough music. I guess right now I feel like I´m on a guilt trip thinking maybe in some way I contributed to his problem. God forgive me if I did.
today is my b-day its really sad i wasted millions of money alone on shoppin sprees.bipolar is obviusly caused by many reasons and im libra i can relate alot libran bipolars like EMINEM JEAN CLAUDDE VAN DAMME ANDD EVEN OTHER BP people i thnk god n entire family for being dianosed at 13 which is extremely lucky we all have to look at the postive and bright sides.when i was diagnose with bipolar i couldnt believe jurt cobain,axl rose van damme and even EMINEM was bipolar it became obvious with his album RELAPSE and his songs.just wanna say i grew up extremely fast got addicted to pornograpy at 9 yrs old have crushes on every girl in our school and very athletic and comedic but we shldnt compare ourselves with any other bipolar person.and forget also how we became like this just like david said we shld look to stablize and get better.i wouldnt want to live the life eminem,dmx or any bipolar person abusin drugs.alcohol,sex or any ACTIONS DO HAVE CONSEQUENCES.evry time i became manic i wrote thousands of songs most of them eminem type but was my original composition.DAVE PLS TELL IF OMEGA-3 fish oil tablets will help
we shouldnt also be bad or angry yes life is unfair and there r lkots of bad people who had and will take advantage of BP people like stealing our valuables another was evil eyeing our private parts swindling i had been taken advantage so many times especially in school i always looked like an idiot when i coudnt respond properly and that pained during depressive episodes.for those who r extremly promiscious and gambled on pornograppy like hell.i want to tell something ive learned mind control the sexuality and bipolar could change someones sexuality mtof ftom we need help-medication diet excercise relaxing family friends therapy and control unfornately i havent been exercising-im tryin to rehab myslef at homee we bp teenagers need helpp and quick JUST LIKE DAVE and OUR FAMILY SAID EVRY THIN MUST BE TOLD TO THE PHYSCIRATIST THEY KNOW WE R SICK dont trust any1 but family and physicarist pls any1 there who is a teenager below 18 pls talk to me i have been sufferin from 2005 when i was 13 please ,bipolar people we need each other email me at kobe_m_8@hotmail.com i dont mind bein dissed at all coz we bp people have to accept it i trust david and we r only pyso and crazy when we r in an episode
To LINDA: Y ou did NOTHING wrong in raising your son, absolutely NOTHING!!! During my last hospitalization for mania in 1977, my adopted Mother wrote me a loong letter, asking what SHE did wrong, and what she could DO to make it right…it took all I had to tell her she did NOTHING but be a wonderful, loving, generous and kind Mother to me. Do NOT go the “guilt trip” road; it is unnecessary. However, after all 3 of my hospitalizations, my Mom took me in, sometimes for a year post-hospitalization, and treated me as if NOTHING were wrong with me. She didn’t believe her daughter was “mentally ill,” and surely NOT a “maniac” (she confused “manic depression” with “maniac’). Looking back, that was probably the BEST way she could have handled it.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I continue to pray for my country.
Ok, people, sufferers of bipolar disorder and family, as David says care takers, 8 YEARS ago I was told in NANO material, never give up. My beautiful, intelligent, talented second daughter and one of 4 children had et first mUlti manic episode and lost her mind. She lost her car, boyfriend, most of her friends, college career, and job. After 4 stays in the State Mental Hospital and many more in the local psyc. Ward. And over 12 psychiatrics failure to stablize her, I convinced one of them to put her on depacote. By this time she was staying clean and taking her medicine. But she was so institutionalized and still very anxious and paranoid, but nut delusional. She was still agressive but I knew I had not had a decent Dr. Yet. The stays at the state hospital were 5-9 months. David’s sugestion to send questionaires to all the Dr.s with your needs and ask if they will take your patient is good. I almost did it. But the way I found my dream Dr. Was mentioning my pplight to my pharmacist. They know all the Dr.s. he told me of only one in town and one clinic in the next county. I had gone to this Dr.7 years prior but she had missed too many appointments I did not think he would take her back. Also, 7 private psychiatrics had rejected her as a patient for various reasons-the real one being she was so sick and had been to the state hospital. He said all her meds were wrong but depakote. He said the others were making her manic and ended up changing every thing. The first appointment he put her on lithium and her anxiety went away.
The pain in her chest. He changed the anti depressant to cymbalta. He took her off geodon Nd the side affect med. Because of tardive diskenesia. She was still manic. Then he said you are going to get your daughter back. He put her on clozaril/clozapine. Her paranoia is gone. She has learned to socialize and maze friends.its been a year and she took dance and performed in the recital. I trust her to drive my car now and go shopping. She is even partially handling het money and doing ok. This medication works but blood must be checked weekly at first, then biweekly. It can affect the red blood cell count. But only on a small %age. No one had hope but me. Bipolar is just an illness. A chemical imbalance. Make people get help any way you can because they are not able to. They are mentally incapacitated. They. Are sick. And they will die, end up in jail, or on the street or missing. Jail is better than dead but the hospital is better. David helped me with his books.
Hi Everyone,
I know someone who seems to display a lot of the characteristics of Bipolar and/or Borderline Personality Disorder. However, he has never consulted a doctor and does not see he has any problems. He sees all of his anger outbursts and strange behavior as others’ fault or denies any of it happens altogether. We have dated on and off for three years but when his mood swings happen he is irritable and has major and anger outbursts over the tiniest things but will then turn around and blame me. He tends to exhibit splitting. He is a black and white thinker. So even though he says horrible things to me and about me, he twists and turns anything I say/do or don’t do around to blame me. Then he “kicks me to the curb” as he terms it and I don’t hear from him for a period of time which can be from 2 weeks up to a few months. He lies and seems to have a fantasy life with tons of pornography and at times other women.
Right now, he has shut me out again. But if he gets in contact with me again, is there anything I can say or do to encourage him to get help? It’s awful to see him with so much sadness, anger and loneliness.
God Bless You All.
Do you have any reasons for waiting?
IN A SIMPLE WAY TO ANSWER – NO
Hi,
When I started to read your e-mail, I thought that’s me, I put every thing of, due to forgetfulness or fear.
then I understood were you were going with this.
I have asked for help were I live, my daughters have begged for help for me, but because I have no physical deformities‘, the primary care in Bolton, can not understand what’s going on in my head.
I do not understand my self, one minuet I am fine, the next, I lose my temper with family and friends at the drop of an hat, I find myself crying all the time, my mind, most of the time won’t let me do anything. then I get days like today where I can do almost anything, and don’t know why I was upset for the last week or two.
Composing this e-mail was difficult to day, but yesterday would have been imposable, I get up in the morning with allsorts of intentions, but a week later I realise when someone asks have I done such a thing, the answer is I don’t know and the fact is no.
but were I live there is no apparent help available
I am grateful for days like today, but most of the time I wish it could all go away
Terence Howard
I understand you completely, Terence. It took 3 years to get my Bipolar diagnosis. I can wake up feeling fine, and an hour later have a small argument, or something changes my plans, and I lose my temper, scream and throw myself on the floor, hyperventilating in a full-blown panic attack. It hurts both me and my family, as I am an educated woman who has always done so well, and then this just came along and ruined everything.
Don’t let it tear you down, and most of all, don’t let it stop you doing the things you love.
Hello All! I’m one of those people who have the majority of my teeth broken off up under the gumline. I am i a great deal of pain ALL THE TIME! My biggest problem is transportation. Not too many people like being around a person who has bipolar disorder. They seem afraid of me. Why I do not know. I am a very caring and loving person. But I think you see my problem. You also mentioned about us not going to therapy. Well, my problem here is that Medicare does NOT provide any type of psychiatric care! So, I guess you would say I’m in a Catch-22 situation. If I have the analogy correct? Anway, I need all my teeth pulled and dentures really bad! I feel so ugly every day and people have trouble understanding me. So, this is my case on this situation!