Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
I’ve run into a problem lately that I’ve ran into a lot over the years. People come to me and ask me what to do about pregnancy and bipolar disorder. There was one woman in specific recently. She wasn’t pregnant yet, and was doing what she needed to do to keep it that way, but she really wanted a baby.
She was stuck in a moral dilemma. Should she have the baby, knowing all of the risks involved? Or should she just deal with the fact that she shouldn’t? Well, I can’t really answer that question; it is a personal choice that should be discussed with the members of your treatment team. But I can go over the risks and the good news about pregnancy in bipolar disorder.
Many people are already aware of some of the risks involved. One of the ones that concerns many people is that bipolar disorder is, in part, genetic. The good news about that one is that it only provides a genetic predisposition, and that with a positive environment, teaching of good coping skills, and early intervention as needed, the risk can be minimized.
Another risk that concerns many people is medications and pregnancy. Many medications have not been tested during pregnancy, or have mixed results. Some people who have bipolar that find themselves pregnant choose to go off of their medications during the course of the pregnancy. For some, this is fine.
But the general belief is that if you are going to become suicidal when off your medications, that it is much safer for the baby if you are on the medications. After all, the rate of fetuses surviving medications is much higher than the rate of them surviving suicide.
Another thing to consider is how severe your other symptoms may become when off medications. You need to talk to your doctor and your treatment team about the risks and benefits of medication during pregnancy.
Another thing to consider is the added stress of pregnancy hormones on top of your bipolar symptoms. For many people, this will only exasperate the course of the illness. Not to mention, it’s likely to drive your supporters bonkers. LOL. But with minor adjustments to your treatment plan, and by following your treatment plan, you should be able to minimize your mood swings.
Another thing to consider is weight. People who are on certain bipolar medications are likely to already have problems or concerns with their weight. When you add the appetite and statistics of weight gain during pregnancy, this concern can grow.
Many pregnant women, even ones who do not have bipolar, are likely to “eat for three,” even if they are not having twins. This causes unnecessary weight gain, and can even cause other problems in certain situations.
When you already have weight concerns due to stress, depression, and bipolar medications, you need to be extra careful to eat healthy with moderate proportions, and to talk with your doctor about appropriate weight gain.
Having a baby is always a wonderful thing. Having a baby when you have bipolar disorder can still be a wonderful thing. You may have to take extra precautions, but if you choose to become pregnant, then it can be worth it in the end.
What are your thoughts on this?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
i recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy i was told 3.5 yrs ago i was bipolar an would live on meds the rest of my life. i went off my meds with doc an boyfriends help 1.5 yr ago an have been fine i dont recommend this for all bipolar paitents just the ones whos docs ok it. anyways with or without the neds any woman can handle being a mom cause honestly these past few wks have been liking havin a high an low peroid just like when i was takin my meds. my son is my world now an i do not regret goin off my pills but i also have a amazin support group behind me if i need a break from the cryin an need sleep …
Dear Sir: The grandson that has bipolar, adhd and odd and mild retardation, displays the same behavior as his mother. When she was youngeer, they told me she had an affective disorder. The pregnacy was a surprise to us all, as she was only 16. We can’t remember how long she was on meds before we found out. One thing for sure, has has early onset bi-polar beginning at 2 years old. Of course ritalin didn’t help any, as it was the wrong med for what ails him, but he seems to have a very high resistance to medication. Other people would pass out for the dose that he eats like candy. It seems to all involved that he inherited the illness and the resistance to meds from predisposition to actuality. I think that if you are better prepared than we were you will be able to handle the situation 100 percent better.
respectly,Pam
I think that women should be able decide whether they want to go off of medicati ation if they to. But I think that more research has be done in order to find out how “friendly” towarardly women who are pregnant.
I was raped at 14 and had a baby at 15 because of it. Although I’d had depressive episodes since I was young, I had my first Manic episode while pregnant and was getting so little sleep (for three weeks) that I was put on sleeping pills. It took two different tries to find one that worked. I never wanted to go through that again and consequently had no more children. This was over 40 years ago when less was known, but I still wouldn’t take the chance.
I live(barely) on the kindness of others and the people who know me. I want to contribute but, I cant see through my pain. All I know is how to suffer and be scared of any happiness (or manic elation). I have no meds. All I have is my music and my faith. Well, and Mr. Oliver to spout off to (Thank You Dave). I’m still here so…..Stay tuned for the next exciting adventures.
HI, I AM WRITING ,IS FEW WORKS ,,HOPING YOU CAN HELP ME ON IS. MY BOYFREIND HAS BIPOLAR , AND THE THINK IS IS, HE RECIVE FINANCIAL HELP,,AND HE WORK PART TIME,, BUT HE STILL ASK ME FOR MONEY ,,ALWAYS ASk,,HE SAYS HE NEED IT. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY, PLEASE ANSWER ME ,,THANK YOU ,,,FLOR
I first must disagree, having a baby is not ALWAYS a wonderful thing. There are exceptions. That being said, I am a bi-polar 41 yr old single mother of one beautiful 5 yr old girl. There is A LOT to consider prior to deciding to have a baby. Support is a must but it has to be long term. My family was supportive and great when due date came near and for the first year. But as with most situations eventually life goes back to normal and people become less accessible. What I find difficult to understand is how they think you can be fine when support wanes. Just because a baby starts sleeping through the night you are not at all off the hook. Actually, looking back those were really the easy days. Being a parent is a full time thing for LIFE (at least til 18 years of age this child depends on you for EVERYTHING). Now you still need to care for yourself and special problems AND manage to keep it from negatively affecting a child. With a lot of discussion, treatment team help and lifelong friends and family that have been there for you through your illness and love you through everything you can do it. Make sure you are honest with yourself and have handled your sickness long enough to understand what works and what your true limitations are. If there is something you are not capable of now do not tell yourself but when the baby come this, this and this will change I WILL then be able to do this or that. Go into this knowing you will NOT be able to do things you already cannot do(example: make healthy meals everyday 3 times a day – after bottle feeding is over you will have 16 plus years of this responsibility). Consider the worst case scenario not the best. ONLY count on those who have known you and your illness for many many years (like 10 or more – parents, siblings or lifelong friends). As sad is it may seem friends, boyfriends and husbands can and do sometimes leave a difficult situation although they believed they loved you enough and could handle anything – if they have not been around it long enough and through it with you they really do not know what they can handle when it comes to supporting a bipolar woman. Also remember this illness changes as we age and with different stresses (especially going through the lack of sleep for well over a year). Our body’s and minds are aging like everyone else but it can be harder on us with BP. Children require a lot of energy from us. I often find myself sad that I cannot give more to my daughter in this area. I have my Mother’s help but we are both telling her we are too tired or need a rest often. Cognitive functioning is more difficult as well. We must think so much more to organise, plan and keep things together while constantly being distracted by a little person that needs us always…. In these 5 years I have not been able to think, remember or understand things anywhere near as I could before. Although this is NORMAL for most parent it is a lot more severe and difficult. I absolutely cannot think when she is here, if I hear her even the concentration is gone. We must have some time apart for me to be able to think. There is so much more to think through too….
Grandma helps when she can but her time is limited and I never really get enough time to organize thoughts and future plans. Babies cost a lot too, make sure you consider what the worst case financial situation might be. Consider not having a man or child support. Consider someday you really may not be able to work. What would you be left with? Children are wonderful gifts but as with ANY (even the”best” situations) situation they do not MAKE things better for you. Things will never be the same but it is not all good. Also, a child should never have to have the responsibility give to them to MAKE anyone’s life great.
It can be done, but you must prepare yourself as honestly and thoroughly as possible. Try also to plan for your future care so they need not be your caretaker in their future. I was acquaintance raped 6 years ago and this is how I received my baby girl at age 37. It is hard and I do love her. I love her so much that I try harder than ever to “act” okay. But try as I might it is even more difficult to do so now than before her. There are no days of pulling covers over head and not letting anyone see me when I feel no one should have to see my irrational moods and crabbiness. She is here and I must try to put on a fake smile. There seems to be no supprt for mentally ill parents out there. It would be good to locate or start one prior to getting pregnant. You could learn a lot from an already formed group. Or you could form one, help other and learn from them as well. I am always saying I cannot be the only bipolar Mom in the world although if you Google it you might feel that way…. This is a big decisions just really consider all the possibilities. Now I must go. My babygirl has been needing me this whole time and I think I did pretty well in writing this (staying focused) with her right here. But my time is up….
When my husband who has bipolar was in a manic state for 6 months, he sent for a woman from another country,he told her he was going to marry her and have a baby,this was last year, he has crashed and is living back with me, but the woman has been in touch and says she has a child from him, she has even sent pictures of the baby,,what do you think he should do David,,at the minute he dosent want anything to do with her.
thanks Josephine x
I’m bipolar and schizophrenic, and I’m actually pregnant. I have already 2 teenagers daughters, and I was diagnosed only 2 years ago. My pregnancy is perfect, I and my psychiatry decide to suspend the treatment in the first trimester. It was like hell, but we managed. Now I’m back to treatment (lythium and zyprexa), and the baby, a girl, is perfect and fine. We don’t have afraid about genetics, because it has a lot of environmental in my diseases, so we (my husband and me) can manage, to our 3 girls. There are a lot of crap healthy people that don’t give love and good environment to their kids, so this eugenic argument about genetics is a crap. The only problem is the breastfeeding, I cannot do it, because of my meds. But, that’s a small price to pay.
I agree, everything should be well thought out before choosing to have a baby, having bipolar should not keep you from having the family you want. I was diagnosed after having my third baby and have had four more since then (I just had my last one Aug. 14 of this year. No more for me, lol), while it was difficult with hormones raging, I stayed off the meds and with the help of an amazing husband, I’ve got the gorgeous family I always dreamed of. So it can be done if you really want it.
I knew I had depression since I was a teenager. But I wasnt told until I had my twins that I had Bipolar Depression. I just thought I was suffering from Postrum Depression but my Dr took a family history and asked about my past. It is hard for me with 6 kids my kids range from 20 to 16 month old twins. Right now I just learning to deal with Bipolar Depression. Now I’m very scared that I could have pass this to my kids. Any advice any one can give me I will appreciate. Please send it to my email. One thing I can say all my kids and partner are very supportive and do help me deal with whats going in my life….
My fiance is bi-polar. We have been together for 2 years, he has lived with me and my teenage girls for a year. When he is stable, he has no desire to have a child of his own. He had a manic episode a year and a half ago, and that was tough for me to support him through, but I did, despite the fact that we had not been dating very long. That episode was triggered by alot of different things, including the fact that he was off his meds. He is currently sliding back into an episode, but I am unsure of the trigger this time because he takes his meds regularly. Last time, and this time, he expressed a desire to have a child. I am 42, have had my kids already, and don’t want anymore. He is only 34. I am wondering if the stress of raising teens has triggered his current difficulties staying stable. It is hard at the best of times and mine are trying us lately. Lastly, I don’t think I want to go through this again, and considering a future with a man who changes into somebody I dislike, on a regular basis, causes me to lean toward withdrawing my support and asking him to leave.
EXPECT NOTHING BUT GOOD SURPRISES!!!!!! might surprise yourself when you dare to do the inevitable!!!!! especially what may surface next
Not to mention, “it’s likely to drive your supporters bonkers. LOL.”
David
Hope you are doing well.
You have mentioned that homeopathy is not a treatment for bipolar disorder. I can tell you from personal experience that you need to rethink this. I have some sort of mild bipolar disorder, perhaps cyclothemia, and it is now in remission. My natural doc, Mark Janikula, has treated many with full blown type I with an 80 percent success rate. This being said, he is the Doctor of choice if a woman with BP I,II or cyclothemia chooses to get pregnant.
Dear Dave and all readers, My name is Lynn, I’m a recovering alcoholic, and also live w/Bipolar II on a daily basis. My 2 youngest were born in ’87 and ’83, b/4 I was ‘officially diagnosed’ w/bipolar, so I wasn’t pregnant while diagnosed. I’ve been under treatment for major depression since ’92, and, w/the advent of a serious suicide attempt, have a diagnosis now as I said. By the Grace of God, I have been stable on 3 meds now, for abt. 1 1/2-2 yrs. I have several people I am accountable to on a regular basis, and my oldest dtr. is allowing me a relationship w/my new grandson, something that I’m sure wouldn’t be happening, if I were drunk or hospitalized for depression again.
I thot this statement a very important and true one. So, one more time, thank y ou for ‘being there’ for me, and thank you for allowing me to share in this forum.
Part 2. The statement I was referring to was, that fetuses can survive medications much better than they would survive a suicide attempt, or something to that effect. [For some reason, this statement did not carry into my share.]
Thanks again.
Lynn
Dear David,
You have raised a pertinent issue and the comments of all the ladies who have experienced pregnancy were awakening.Can you please educate me more on Homeopathy treatment for Bipolar and BPI,BPII and cyclothemia.Does Bipolar go into remission.
I am 34 and have been on medication the last 4 years after a break down I was diagnosed with Bipolar. The medication is very effective and I have wonderful suport from my fiance. I want to have a child very badly but am so scared that the medication could cause deformity or something and that scares me a lot. I want more facts on outcomes where people stay on their meds I am on 60mg Cymbalta a day. Could anyone help me on this as our doctors in SA does not seem to be that up to date with it.
We have concidered that my fiance is serugate mother with my egg, will that make a difference?
Thank you.
Karlien.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 yrs after having my second daughter. Although i have had the symtoms since puberty, the manic and suicidal tendancies got worse when i was about 26 years old. I have been trying all kinds of cocktails of meds to get the combination right, still not sure they are. I have terrible anxiety and adrenaline problems alongside bipolar, so am now on sertraline 150mg, and valproic acid (depakote). I was also on proponalol until i OD on it. I do want another child with my husband, infact another 2 kids before i’m 45. (im 31yrs old now) I also breast fed my other 2 children (my youngest daughter now 4)- till she was a year old. This was before i was diagnosed. I really dont know what to do. My husband had a heart attack last yr and wants us to try soon. Im too scared to talk with my doctor incase he tells me off for even thinking about more kids while ive been so unwell recently. Depakote causes birth defects. i could not even dream of havin another kid without breast feeding. I loved it before. But my moods and illness can be very trying on my marriage. he will stand by me forever…but, he will cause my illness to be worse as he will and is impatient and shouts etc. I’m thinking to wait till beginning of next year, hopefully my meds will be more settled by then, and fingers crossed maybe i will be able to handle 20 months without medication.
Thank you for your emails. I do read them. Kindest regards Sylvimaree.x
Hello everyone
Well, I had a baby and I have bipolar disorder. When I was pregnant I didn’t know I had bipolar, it wasn’t until after the baby was born that it reared it’s ugly head, so to speak, and I was back in the hospital a week and a half after the birth because I only slept 2 hours in the span of an entire week, was extremely sleep deprived, was hallucinating, and severely needed intervention. Fortunately I had a very supportive family and I’m a smart woman, and although I didn’t know what the bleep was happening to me, I KNEW that I needed help, and finally said “get me in the hospital”. It was an awful interesting mix of an experience getting well after suffering a ppp and ppd, which always follows ppp. I didn’t harm myself or my baby. I am one of the lucky ones that had access to the best doctor and counselor available and it has been 15 years now since all that happened. I’m still on meds, but I have a beautiful healthy son and a husband that stuck by my side when most would’ve high-tailed it. I was fine during the pregnancy, and in hindsight I’m awfully glad I didn’t know I had bipolar during my pregnancy or I would’ve been more nervous. But to anyone who does have bipolar disorder and wants to have a baby, make sure you’re under the watchful eye of a SUPERB Psychiatrist and Counselor that are EXPERIENCED in dealing with this disorder, see them probably weekly, get counseling regularly, and line up your ducks so after the baby is born you will have support, people to help care for the baby and you, etc. I also suffered post partum psychosis and post partum depression, again I didn’t know I had bipolar, so I was not on the appropriate medication for bipolar disorder, which would’ve most likely prevented so much suffering on my part and my family’s part, and maybe prevented the post partum psychosis and depression as well. Hindsight is always 20/20. My understanding is that with some cases they encourage women not to use meds while pregnant for the sake of the developing child, but immediately put the woman back on meds right after the baby is born and monitor her super closely for any signs or symptoms that she needs help. Whatever works and protects your baby as well is what is good and right. But you must use the care of a professional psychiatrist and counselor if you have bipolar and are pregnant in my opinion, that’s not an option. Miracles can happen, and God loves you.
Blessings.
“Marge”
BiPolar women should not reproduce (period). BiPolar is “poly-morphisms in the alleles of the genes of chromosome pair 15”. It is genetically heritable. In all these discussions, there is little concern for the long-term responsibilities & actual capacity to parent children. The arguments of “our bodies, our choice” has more to do with selfishness & poor judgement.
My wife of 17 years walked away from both of our children sometime between 2 & 5 weeks after birth (just about when the oxytocin hormones diminish). Dad had the task of taking care of the infants plus a woman with the mentality of a 5 year old brat. Even after separation, this parenting continues. My 17 year old daughter is showing all the signs of the 1st bouts of bipolar depression. My 13 year old son is ADHD-PI (A.D.D.). And the woman continues to make poor choices, demanding the same co-dependent attention from those around her that her own mother got. Hell was “normal” for her.
My marriage ended as do 90 PERCENT of marriages to bipolars.
These are the unfortunate facts. Marriage is not a right. Reproduction is not a right. These are responsibilities. The actual percentage of bipolar women who can meet these responsibilities, provide an even tempered environment for child development, take care of their own needs while balancing the needs of their spouse & families are in fact far & few between.
BiPolar women should not reproduce (period).
The men who have bipolar perhaps should not re-produce either. My story is tainted because of the lies. I sensed something was wrong many years ago – nearly 20 years ago. But was never told the truth. The only time the truth would come out was when he was on the right meds – and that is probably why he hates the meds – he stops lying and tells the truth. Also, his family of origin is so dysfunctional they lied for him too. If you have an illness, I don’t care what kind of illness it is – just get over yourself and say “I have this bipolar issue” or I have alcoholism or whatever. It would make it easier for people to accept than being kept in the dark, later to find out that as an adolescent he was in special schools and hospitals and in college and after college and with his first wife, and later and then the hospitalizations with me. But the family, instead of being supportive would scapegoat and BLAME me for him being sick. After they KNEW all those years he was like this. They say you are only as sick as your secrets and in that family they are very sick for enabling and encouraging the lies and cover ups. In fact, when I was pregnant, his brother said “oh he can’t have a child” and I did not know what he meant. Later I would find out there was not only STRONG mental illness issues, but also congenital heart disease genes which my son ended up with. I’m not upset about the CHD issues but the mental health issues could have and should have been handled differently instead of blaming me. For instance, the doctor tested his testosterone. Now every man knows that at 60 you are not going to have the testosterone of a 18 year old. but with our brain raping marketing they make men believe that low testosterone is not natural. It wasn’t causing him any problems so it was not that big of a deal. (he had another psychiatric issue where he would complain his penis was missing) So when I hear that they want to put him on testosterone I call the psychiatrist who says no way – not with a mood disorder. the two doctors are brothers and i suggest they talk to each other. well my x is in love with mania so he went and threatened both doctors about not putting him on the testosterone. And guess what he ended up on the testosterone and became even more violent and manic. Did they care as doctors, probably not b/c he threatened to sue them. So he is just gaming the system to get drugs to keep the mania going. He never had a problem with the angle of his dangle, it was all in his head (the one on his shoulders). Then he blames me for overdosing him on an antipsychotic he was on while he was drinking mouthwash while taking it. Again the doctor gets threatened to be sued so he agrees with him that I overdosed him, Which I did not. He had been in the hospital and the hospital records reflect that there was no overdose it was a Parkinson drug rx (and drinking mouthwash did not help). But guess who got the blame. these people simply cannot be real or see the truth. They just keep spinning webs of lies and believing them. It is poor judgment on a psychiatrists behalf to collude with a mentally ill patient. It is unethical and grossly negligent also. This patient has gotten involved in the criminal justice system, now three times and yet the psychiatrist will not get the meds going that helped 3+ years ago. This man should not have been able to have children, he has the mentality of a 5 year old always wanting the attention and creating chaos. But if families can’t accept mental illness and the truth than they pick a scapegoat (me) and lie about it, which is a sorry shame.
Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Excellent choice of colors!