Hi,

Were you one of those people who had to read the book A Tale of Two Cities back in school? Well, today I have A Tale of Two Couples. Both couples are dealing with bipolar disorder. But both couples have different stories.

Bob has bipolar disorder. His wife, Mary, is his supporter. Bob has a hard time managing his

bipolar disorder, and Mary is not much help. You see, Mary holds things against Bob. She doesn’t forgive him for things he does while he is in his bipolar episodes. So things are very strained between them, which makes Bob’s bipolar worse for him. His moods are worse, no matter how hard he tries, even though he is on medication.

He has talked to his psychiatrist about it, but his psychiatrist tells him to talk to his therapist about it. He has talked to his therapist about it, and his therapist has even offered to have a session or two with Mary as well, so they can air out some of their issues. Mary has refused.

She still harbors unforgiveness towards Bob. Bob doesn’t know what to do.

Then there’s Jim and Cecilia. Cecilia has bipolar disorder, and Jim is her primary supporter.

Cecilia went into a very bad manic episode last year, and spent a great deal of money, putting a lot of financial pressure on Jim. At first, Jim was very angry at Cecilia, but then he figured it wasn’t her fault – that if she didn’t have bipolar disorder, she wouldn’t have done what she did.

So he forgave her. They worked through it, and have an even stronger relationship today than they had before.

Jim learned the lesson of forgiveness. Mary could learn a lot from Jim.

If you don’t practice forgiveness, you are blaming your loved one for something that isn’t their fault. Then you have a situation like Bob and Mary have.

Unforgiveness and blame can tear away at relationships where one of the people has bipolar disorder.

In Bob and Mary’s case, Bob has tried to apologize and make up to Mary for what he did when he was in his bipolar episode, but Mary will not forgive him. This has put a great strain on their

relationship. And Mary is not being a very good supporter.

Sometimes it takes a great deal of love and understanding on the part of the bipolar supporter, sometimes more than you think you have. But you do it anyway.

Perhaps if Mary were more able to separate Bob from his bipolar disorder, she would be able to

forgive him for what he did, realizing, like Jim, that he would not have done it if it weren’t for the bipolar disorder.

Separating your loved one from their disorder can help you to cope and deal with the things they do when they are in an episode. It makes it easier to forgive them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave