Hi, how’s it going? Hope you are doing well.
In California there is a big debate going on. Should people who are in the welfare system have to “work” for their welfare? Many people think they should, but a few disagree. I’m not about to get into that debate, but I think it brings up an interesting point.
How often do we think about the fact that people who have bipolar disorder have to work for their recovery? Sometimes this is as literal as it sounds. That is to say, for some people a major part of their recovery is to have a job and to do their best at it. For others, this takes on a more symbolic meaning, referring more to the fact that recovery doesn’t come easily, and that you have to strive for it.
So what are some of the ways that many people have to work towards their recovery? And what are the ways that we, their supporters, can help them out? There are many ways that people who have bipolar disorder need to work towards their recovery. Most of them should be outlined in their treatment plan.
Some examples are taking their medication as prescribed, keeping a routine, and going to therapy. It can also include things like meditation, exercising, and anger management techniques. Or even paying attention to their overall health, participating in a hobby, and socializing.
It always needs to include learning new coping skills and practicing them. It always needs to include symptom management and prevention. And it always needs to include talking over things with their recovery team.
Sometimes all of this can seem overwhelming for a person who is already dealing with a mental disorder. That is where we, the supporters, come into play. We can encourage them along, and “hold their hand” through it, so to speak.
We can help them monitor their symptoms and remind them of the things they need to be doing. We can handle a crisis situation by getting outside help for them. We can, ultimately, sit back and let them take charge of their recovery.
This last part may seem harsh at times, but sometimes it is exactly what they need. That depends on the time, though, and you are the best person to determine which time is which.
Just keep in mind that they are working towards something that is not just challenging, but is also against their very nature. Try to have some compassion on them for this, but at the same time do not over- sympathize with them to the point that you take over and keep them from recovering.
A healthy balance is needed. Remember that you also have to work towards what you want in your life, including the goal of being the best supporter you can be. Now, the best supporter is one that has good balance both in the way that they handle their loved one and in their own life.
This is not an easy goal to meet, but it, like recovery from bipolar disorder, is a goal worth working towards. Both you and your loved one need to set your eyes on the goal but your feet on the one step at a time. It will pay off in the end.
What are your thoughts on all this?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
hi dave pls could u speak more about the TRUTH ABOUT BIPOLAR DISORDER AND SEX ur book is available for 8 dollars but i admit i have toublebuying since i dont live in USA it is very tough for me as i am a teen PLS help god bless you
I totally agree with the idea. The problem with bipolar disorder is that these people fight against the very things that they need to help them recover i.e. routines, proper nutrition and medication. Many would rather self medicate than take their meds.
Dave; Do you ever work with Consumer Peer Specialists? I would like to talk with you about this opportunity. Regards; Jim Blaha jjbgeneva@aol.com 630-917-7369
Dear David
Pope BENEDIC if confronted with BIPOLAR
Problems will not be able to put it
more skilfully and truthfully then you did.
CONGRATULATION
I have my daughter 39 frustrated single spinster
who manage to finish university degree,never worked seriously in her life,and never manage to sustain woman to man relation longer then two weeks as BIPOLAR SYNDROME blows away any male who try.
She came one year ago and stay with me in Bahrain and I try to get her out of BIPOLAR..I fail miserably..This one year destroy me and my stability,I have lost work
and just recently two month ago I broke my ‘hip bone'(pure accident) and had it replaced )at the big cost of “titanium metal parts”.and my sufferings.My daughter left for London just few days before my “accident” and decided to stay there with her mother(I have divorced 30 years ago).But I must admit Im glad that she is tormenting her mother not me ..and I am recovering nicely as SURGICAL PART is perfect and my hip is working very well.
Sorry I do not have a stomach to do my “NURSING JOB AGAIN”
Best Regards
Mike
You are exactly correct when you say that the person with BPD must want help. There are many with BPD in denial and that is where the problem lies. Insurance companies stereotype and make things difficult for those with any mental health issues. My spouse refuses to accept his illness and I can no longer standby and allow him to abuse me and my son. I have been with him for 30 years and he broke the last straw, its unfortunate but my reality.
I have a 31 yr.old son with bipolar who lives at home.
He has not been able to find a job, has lost every job he has ever had because of his anxiety about his bipolar.
He now is withdrawing from family functions because he is embarrassed about not having a job.
He does take his medications but will not see a therapist.
I don’t know what to do or say anymore.
When I hear the word recovery I think of an addict. I’m not addicted to anything. I’m new and pretty sure I have this disorder. I’ve never not taken’ my medication. I see people regularly and do the best I can. My family is frustrated and quite frankly I am beyond that point.
How is it possible to recover from a sick brain?
I like these ideas, David. I would be fascinated to hear about other illnesses being “in the mix” with someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder…such as narcissistic personality disorder. When trying to work on the maze that is bipolar disorder, how in the world can one get a good viewpoint when other illnesses or situations are developing at the same time?
I have bi-polar disorder, I have other mental illnesses as well. My father had it, my sister has it. I take my medication, but I have had 5 mental breakdowns. I have tried over 6 medications (yes I take them, but my medication is court order and montiored by mother after the loss of custody of my son at the age of 24.) I am now 32 years old and am a small business owner and teacher. I am currently doing my Master’s in Education online. I deal with high’s and lows all the time. I have lost more friends that I have ever known. My breakdowns were horrible. I have been in mental hospitals and I know what it is like to want to kill my self (many times). What has gotten me through my lows are my family, friends and faith in God. I want all you to know that the most important thing a bi-polar person’s life is you!
So my son who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder must self medicate himself during his mania. At one time he got 2 black belts in kick boxing and worked for the gym and instructor. But also has a very good job as a certified welder, welding on satelites. He also worked as a chemical firefighters traveling all over fighting very difficult fires all over the world. Besides welding which job he has had almost 10 years, he is a sole singer in a rockabilly band that goes on tour across the eastern and southern states of the US. So with his inteligence and tenacity he does very well. He even at one time owned a coffee shop and booked different singers to entertain while it operated. But unfortunately his family life is what suffers. He is on his second marriage, they are presently separated. Is this the solution for bipolar people, to just give up on trying to have a normal family life because of their explosive temperment. Huh? Maybe so.
At 3M Company where I work dont want peoples on medication to work medication and job dont mix.
Hi Dave,
I await your e-mails every day with great anticipation.
You cover issues and material that is not available
anywhere else. Or even discussed as it should. Thank you for sharing it all. A little at a time.
Some of us out there have no support system, probably
too many of us. Rejected by dysfunctional family
members in denial of their own delusions and addiction,
my “craziness” was never considered acceptable to their
standards. It broke my heart to walk away to give my-self a chance at a life with no more abusive behavior.
It takes years of therapy to undo years of pure hell.
The right therapist and meds can help you achieve more
than you ever thought possible. Survival is always a
challenge but recovery will give you the life you dream
of and deserve. Grab all the help you can, believe you
will make it and go for it. There is always another
chance, a lot of hope, and a little more time….
Turtles may be a little late but they do get there.
Trash the negative, open your eyes, open your heart
and jump if you must….YOUR life is waiting for you!
Right there.
My husband are suffering from Bipolare discorder
it all started when he had surgery he had a Brain tumor and it was removed but it left him confuse and all the simspton of a person with Bipolar disorder and it ahs been seventeen month since his surgery and his doctors have tried differant type of medication but it only works for about three months at the most and he has been on about ten or more meds and nothing seem to work for a long period of time and ii am out of work so much with him it is unreal i do good to get twenty hours of work and it is so hard to make end neet i am praying every day that God will interven and i have to work enough to keep the insurance going becasue he dont have medcaid or medicare until two or three more months
so anyone out there have any ideals or things that might work for us please contact me back at this e-mail i dont even want to think about the next step that i am going to have to take my husband can never be left at home by himself so while i work i have to pay a sitter which i can not even afford we have a ten year old daughter that i am mostly raising by myself
and to the newa letter i htink that it would be nice if people that suffer from such things as Bipolar disorder becasue when i am trying to get ready for work he think he has to get ready for work or even go to school and he is 52years old so he is really confuse
thank you for listening
I am not Bi-polar, my man is. Am very angry at you for insinuating that I am. Do not insult me again please.
Yes working for recovery is what it is all about. When we are sick with this disease, working on recovery is what we do everyday. We cannot let this disease destroy our life. It’s all about attitude and desire. We didn’t ask for this disease like people with other diseases didn’t ask for theirs. But there are ways to live a good life if we are willing to do the work. For those who are lazy, may you enjoy your misery.
My daughter is 28 years old and we have been on this roller coaster for over 13 years. It started when she was 15 and misdiagnosed as being depressed. None of the many antidepressants we tried helped for very long and I was beginning to wonder if we would get the much needed help. But alas we have found a great place where the people are caring. They are in the process of ruling out BPD vs adult ADHD. So in the meantime she is on no meds. She has 2 little girls and she is a good mom. But the roller coaster ride continues. Is it normal for someone with BPD to direct most of their anger at one parent, in this case? I want to help her in any way I can but she has to do some work on her own, I know this. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder in ’95. I am also a nurse. I carry the guilt, that we as parents do when there is something wrong with our child. It is so nice to have this forum to vent to others that understand. Thank you Dave……….
Yes I agree wholeheartedly with your idea and I find that I myself have the hardest time with stress and every time that stress comes into my life I seem to have a hard time dealing with it especially when it comes down to my past marriage and past ex-husband. My two daughters are the most amazing things in my life but I try to reach out to my son but for some reason it seems to be of no avail. My now significant other is most amazing and I could not ask for better and he is certainly been there for me but I keep wondering when is this going to end as it did the first time and can’t seem to get rid of these fears. I wonder if that is just the norm for people with bi-polar????? Thanks