Hi,
How are you?
I hope you are doing well.
Yesterday I was talking to my friend about some thing related to the banking industry.
My friend HATES ALL BANKERS. He thinks they are evil. Seriously.
I am NOT like that.
Lots of people are complaining about bankers, Wall Street, etc.
Many are saying that ALL of these people are crooks and that they’re evil.
This is not the case.
All bankers are not crooks.
All banks are not dishonest.
It’s just SOME.
People that say these things are just generalizing.
Maybe they just had one bad experience with a banker, like they got turned down for a loan or something, so now they’re saying that all bankers are bad.
Or they lost money in the stock market, and they need someone to blame it on.
Or they’re struggling financially, or lost their job, so they’re blaming it on the economy.
People with bipolar disorder can learn a lesson from this.
They say the same thing about therapists, doctors, and hospitals, too.
They say that they’re all bad.
But all therapists are not bad.
All doctors are not bad.
And all hospitals are not bad.
Just SOME of them.
Know what I mean?
Those who say that all doctors, therapists, and hospitals are bad?
Same thing.
Someone might have had a bad experience with a doctor.
Maybe they even really did have a bad doctor, or even a bad therapist.
But that doesn’t mean that they are ALL bad.
And every hospital can’t be bad, can it?
Just SOME.
If you have a bad doctor, you need to find a good one.
And if you have a bad therapist, you need to find a good one.
Because these two professionals are very important to your stability with bipolar disorder, just like I talk about it my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
It’s your responsibility to find and have a good medical and mental health professional who is really out for your own good.
Don’t stay with someone who isn’t helping you, because then you won’t get better.
Don’t stay with them just because you’re afraid to change doctors or therapists.
You need to think about what’s best for you.
If you’re not sure if your doctor and/or therapist is good or bad, take your supporter with you to your next appointment.
They might have a more objective point of view than you will.
They might be able to tell better than you can whether your doctor or therapist is a good one or a bad one, or whether they are right or wrong for you.
Remember, though, that not all doctors, therapists, and hospitals are bad.
I am NOT saying for you to change your doctor or therapist if they are working for you.
Again, I am NOT saying that ALL doctors and therapists are bad.
If your doctor and therapist are working out for you, great!
And if you have found a hospital that takes care of you when you’re in an episode and treats you well, then even greater!
I just want you to be aware, and make sure that your professionals are looking out for your best interests, because that’s what they are there for.
Have you ever had a bad experience with a doctor, therapist, or hospital, and had to change?
How did you know you had to change?
How did you find a new one, and what happened?
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
I am SORRY I must advocate on my daughers behalf! She see’s niether type of Dr or takes ANY medications!!!!!!!!!! Bi-Polar is of a mind set!!!!!!!! Something that CAN BE CONTROLLED by ones self!!!!!!! Med’s ARE NOT NEEDED as is being pushed by Dr’s and society in general! What you are all expeirenceing is a series of FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Something that is in all of us!!!!!!!!! We have the choice in making ourselves FEEL and THINK what we DO!!!!!!!!!!! She has found that she is SOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER OFF NOT taking meds and seeing Dr’s now than she has been for years!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t let the WORLD DICTATE to you what THEY perseive as NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!! What is NORMAL for today ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!??????? Darla S. Wacker
Dear David,
Please read “Surviving High Society” by Elizabeth Marvin Mulholland. The website and blog is at http://www.survivnghighsociety.com. The book is also listed on Amazon.com and can be bought at Borders, B&N and Books- a-Million.
This abuse doesn’t happen all the time but I don’t believe I’m the only one that has unergone this kind of treatment.
Please let me know what you think of the book after you have read it.
Liz
NOR DAVIE BABES…..
I aven,t had no bad experences they have all sat and listern to me moan on. What more can you ask for.
Take care Linda x
have I ever had to change therapists and how did I know? well, I was married to a man who was a lawyer and liked to talk until no one could stand it anymore, so even if the logic was gone, and usually it was not even there, he just had to win so he would talk and talk and talk until the therapist or whatever wanted to leave or take their next patient…you get the picture…anyway figures dont lie but liars can figure…he would show only shapshots of what he wanted to, just like what lawyers do. (he is also a business man and he controlled all our funds while I was mommy). Although kids and i rarely saw him he presented this picture of me being incapable and and a spendthrift. how is that possible if i ran the show and in essence he controlled the bigbucks? He snowed the therapists who were more interested in baseball tickets for the giants which he used as currency, both selling me
out from what was really happening. Another therapist knew how much money was involved and tried to charge me more while i was incorrectly prescribed by her. I complained saying she was under contract for a lower rate and that was unethical. she then accused me in a report of being aggressive towards her to cover her butt. how is that possible if i was under the influence of her drugs? so unethical. she said who would believe me? later when i needed my records for an attorney she made me pay hundreds of dollars to come see her so retrieve it. I think she tried to talk me into being her patient again. no way. she may have written a bad record against me initially as i told her i was moving to stanford university where i have been for nearly 5 years happily and have had zero issues. they are knowledgable, ethical, treat me well, we have good intellectual conversations, and they keep me on track. Both my psychiatrist and therapist teach there. when i got to the point that i could not pay but obviously needed to come, due to this nasty divorce, service was not withheld from me. I am completely happy with Stanford and would recommend it to anyone.
The legal arena, however, is full of lying snakes. I would not be in this positiion, causing me and my kids great anxiety and stress for so many years were it not for the lawyers who appear to be only interested in what’s in it for them. Many are lazy. Some are illeducated. Some are pufferfish. Granted my case is somewhat complicated with international issues, but it need not be so complicated if someone would just take the bull by the horns and deal with it. What kills me and i hope to god others out there do not have this issue but may,if they have a lying snake for an exspouse who takes everything leaving you with nothing more than $200 in your safe and hundreds of thousands of dollars of debts which you will spend your life paying off and he lies to the judge as he lowers his temporary obligation to you and the 4 kids saying he just cant afford it anymore, putting you even deeper in debt and making the kids want to run to the money. When you show pictures of the 23,000 sq. ft. house you just built only one of the places he has taken over which you shared, and tell of 2 story penthouse office in one of the most prestigious buildings in the country he just retrofitted and of the l8 extracurricular activities he has requiring extensive international travel and this is one reason why you never saw him and the 8 cars..the judge turns to you and says she read you are bipolar and how are you feeling, suggesting you might be making it up. What does bipolar have to do with anything? by this point I am my own attorney, not having funds.This is serious disadvantage. How can one compete not being an attorney, nor knowing local rules, not having funds to hire a nanny to get kids to their activities, all their needs,time to be a great mommy, time to study for master’s in psychology and keep up with it to maintain my loan… I strongly recommend for any bipolar person involved in a divorce to get strong counsel who is knowlegable in bipolar. Keep that counsel the whole time, demand up front equal representation from the getgo if it is provided for in your state. Mistakes are hard to redo. A trick opposing counsel uses is to create chaos. The real issue is not me. We all know about bipolar. My psychiatrist suggested i get a psych eval on my ex for cust. purposes since i successfully cared for the kids for YEARS without his help. I did. I am not the problem. i would never do to another what he has done to the kids and me. This email from David Oliver is a good re money and bipolar. I am not good at making money, or have not been up to now, but it is critical in a lawsuit to keep it going and ot care for kids and oneself. i spent too much time caring for others and not myself.
Must be a balance. Also, i must not be so naive. there are snakes out there. Please learn from me. when kids are with my ex, he really is in another country, out every night, having a party, or away and leaves kids with horrid sitters who pretend they are me living in my house mistreating my kids and locking them out. this is not good. Do not let this happen to you. Yes I was Naive but i was not the snake. docs and lawyers and bankers could protect.
re bankers:
I am in a pickle on this. we own the house jointly. i can not take a loan with out his signature. he is not about to do that. he wants me to have to file for bankruptcy then he’ll get all the assets. bankers wont give me info or help me cos he has all the money, as he put practically everthing in his name from the moment we married. banks dont want to lose his account. I have to go to court to prove it is my money. ou have to have money to prove it. its a game. an expensive game for the kids and me. time and money. learn from me. hold it together.
Try again. I’ve had the same p-doc for 17 years, and he was adequate. About 2 yrs. ago, he took me off Paxil cold turkey, and I was violently ill for 2 1/2 months. Now he’s getting ready to retire and is there three days a week when he feels like it. Last time I was in, he asked me what we should do. I suggested Seroquel, and he said, “Oh, you want to try Seroquel? Okay” I’ve lost faith in him. Kaiser says I’m #80 on the list for a new dr. Saw a “second opinion”. She was terrible: Intimidating, insensitive and demanding, oh and threatening. I’m mad as h_____! I deserve better and feel trapped by the Kaiser system. Obviously, they are terribly understaffed. Why mental health I wonder. They seem to have enough family doctors, podiatrists, and surgeons. Can I do anything about this? Oh, I’ve ordered copies of my records to see what they show. They better not place any blame on me. I have bipolar illness after all. I’m rapid cycling, mixed states, treatment resistent, and they even said atypical. The “second opinion” seemed to think a lot of my not getting better was because I didn’t attend their support group (I’m a board member of a local DBSA group and participate in an online support group.) And she wanted me to give up my green tea because of the caffeine in it. It’s a minor am’t, and it’s one of my favorite things. She also wanted me to lose weight, What? On Seroquel? She diagnosed me OCD (no way) and driving phobic. ( call it what you will, it’s not a problem. I do drive around town)She insisted I go to O.A. (no way), and participate in DBT. I had two years of that in my eating disorders class. After seeing her, (I was severly depressed), I went home and prepared for suicide. It’s a miracle that I’m still here. I told her that, but she didn’t act like she “got it”. A dr. thing, I guess.Now, I’m rapid cycling like crazy, more to the depressive side. I see Dr. #1 on the 27th. I plan to let him know how angry and upset I am and why. Then what? A long wait for a new dr. Nonsense! What kind of action can I take?
I left one psychiatrist twenty years ago after only ONE session, because I sensed she was only in it for the money. Neither I, nor my Mom, had insurance or other resources, to pay for her therapy.
I was lucky that my PCP referred me to the local Community Mental Health clinic, which has a sliding scale for charges. I’m happy with my Nurse Practitioner, who sees me for 15 min. every other month for medication tweaks and how I’m doing on what I’ve been prescribed. I’m also pleased with my psychotherapist, whom I’ve known for 38 years. Unfortunately, she’ll be retiring SOON, and I have (right now) an option of group therapy or a new therapist.
I will NOT be happy transferring my attention to another therapist. There’s entirely tooo much “history” between my current therapist and me. To have to go through 38 years of my episodes and their triggers, just seems like an awful lot to go through. AND – I don’t do well in group therapy. I seem to take on the issues and problems of every other person in the group, thus bringing on a trigger of either depression or anxiety. We will just have to wait and see…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I’m a little pissed off at my former two therapists and my former psychiatrist. At the time I didn’t know it but, I was Borderline Personality Disorder. Why didn’t any of these mental professionals diagnose me then? Why didn’t they see the symptoms in me? Why didn’t they consider the idea that I just might have Bi-polar and or similar traits as with borderline Personality Disorder? Why? And then, when I ran away and left these therapists (because I was experiencing uncomfortable transference feelings/emotions-but I didn’t know what was going on ) they just let me go! Sure, they said I could come back, that our work was unfinished, but they weren’t adament enough. They weren’t caring enough. And I didn’t know exactly what they meant when they initially asked me if I had support(ers). Now, after these few years and after discovering David Oliver on the internet, I know exactly what a supporter is and their role. Yes, I am ticked off at Joan and Beth, and Dr. Shain, and Dr. Reed!!
I believe there are many bi polar individuals not taking medicine and wise enough to have learned enough coping skills to manage their emotional flows. However, I think it is very wise for all of us to have medical back up for the day when we cannot handle the stresses of life. It is the only healthy and good thing to do for our selves. Identifying a good Dr. for this time would be great.
My boyfriend has a very good psychiatrist, who genually cares about his patients’ wellbeing. We hope that he will never move away. In Ireland most people with a mental illness are on disability and all treatment and meds are free. This way no health professional could be “just in it for the money,” as they are paid by the health board not the patient. My boyfriend has regular appointments with his psych, every fortnight. Occasionally his psych may be on holidays or busy, then a locum stands in for him. It’s better to have the regular doc though, as he knows all your details and you have learned to trust him. That applies to doctors in general, not just psychs.
After diagnosing myself Bipolar by reading the DSMIV psychiatric manual, I started the search for a doctor. My first one cried and fell apart when I responded yes to her question did I want “to hurt myself”. #2 drugged me into a stupor with all his brand new fangled off label medications. Nothing like standing in the grocery store, bags all packed, unable to remember how to use your ATM card or how to get home. #3 allowed me to wean myself off lithium until I tried to kill myself. She never even returned phone calls from the hospital staff or me. In the hospital I found a kind, funny, compassionate doctor who I adore (in an appropriate patient doctor sort of way). He doesn’t take my insurance, so instead of buying stuff and going out to dinner or taking vacations, we pay out of pocket for doctor visits.
I sampled 5 or 6 therapists, but stuck with the first. We found him during a family crisis when my son was having an episode – also undiagnosed Bipolar – and threatened to jump out a third story window. The police said they didn’t get involved in domestic situations. My therapist is great – there are many compassionate & caring people out there who listen to us for the money, put us back in our file until next visit, and do not gossip to family and friends. A very good investment in order to speak one’s mind on any topic of choice.
Yes it’s a challenge, very expensive , infuriating, time consuming yet hopefully ultimately rewarding to shop around and get a great team together.
David
We recently changed doctors since my husband completely manipulated the previous one for clonopin (something she knew he had problems with in the past). It caused a major episode and wasn’t sure our family would recover. Once the dust settled and he needed a med-check, he considered going back to her until I insisted we find someone new. We love our counselor who definitely connects with my husband and he was able to refer a new doctor that he felt suited my husband’s personality. It’s still early so wish us luck! You’ll see I use “we” and “us” alot because we are both going through this together. Thankfully my husband has acknowledged his disease effects everyone in the family and realizes we all play a role in his recovery. He is very open to my opinions about our care and continues to improve with every episode.