Have you ever given someone a “foot up,” you know, a chance? Like a kid fresh out of school? Or someone who just graduated from college? They’re just asking for a chance. They have the skill and the knowledge, but maybe they just don’t have the experience. But weren’t we all there at one time? Just asking for that first chance?
So what does this have to do with bipolar disorder? I’m not just talking about first chances here.
I’m talking about when they ask you for another chance. It could be a second chance. Or maybe it’s a third chance. Or maybe even a fourth chance! What will you do? That’s the question.
Maybe when you first met your loved one they told you that they had bipolar disorder, but they
asked you to give them a chance. (Obviously you decided to, because you’re with them.)
But time has gone on and maybe they’ve had some episodes. And say that your loved one has made some mistakes. They’ve done some things for which they owe consequences.
They may even have hurt you, and you don’t want to forgive them. It’s hard, I know. When my mom was yelling at me and calling me names and telling me she didn’t even want me to be her son any more, it hurt.
It really hurt. It hurt so bad I almost wanted to hurt her back. But I had to learn to get over it.
How did I do that? I learned to give her a second chance.
But what about all the other things she said and did to me? It seemed like every time I turned around she was asking for another chance. Well, what was I supposed to do?
I had to forgive her for the things she had done that hurt me. I had to forgive her for yelling at me and calling me names. I had to forgive her for not being there for me. I had to forgive her for not being the mother I wanted her to be because of the bipolar disorder.
How did I do that? I learned to separate my mom from her disorder. I loved my mom. But I hated her disorder. And that’s ok. If no one’s told you this yet, let me tell you this now – it’s ok to hate bipolar disorder!
Remember back to when you first met your loved one and gave them that first chance. Then remember back to those times that you’ve had to give them those second chances (and third,
Think about how you feel when someone gives you a chance. Or a second chance. Forgiveness is a great thing. If it feels good when someone does it for you, wouldn’t it feel good if you did it for your loved one?
What do you think?
Well, I have to go!