I have a super important thing to tell you about concerning
bipolar disorder and episodes. It’s a big warning. I am
serious and not kidding.
BUT, hey before I get started. Thank you everyone who pointed
out the errors on my applications for people I am looking
to hire for paid positions with this organization. Also,
the deadline for getting in your application has been
extended by 3 weeks.
Also really quick. I got a zillion phone calls (okay
not that many and yes I know a zillion is not a real
number), saying our shoppingcart for our bipolar disorder
courses was not working. The problem was fixed last night.
Thank you everyone who reported it to me.
Okay, to the main bipolar disorder lesson.
This week we have been talking about bipolar disorder and
episodes that people with bipolar disorder have.
I wanted to add probably two more things to this series
of emails. I will be sending them over the next couple
of days. BUT I might think of something else so it
make run a few more days.
Okay, we talked about what Bipolar episodes are,
ways to prevent them, what the consequences of
bipolar episodes are on the person with bipolar disorder
and family members but there’s some other important stuff.
One of the biggest mistakes supporters can make when
dealing with a loved one’s bipolar disorder is trying
to argue with or figure out why a person in an episode
with bipolar disorder is doing and saying certain things.
THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE THAT I’VE MADE
What do I mean about this? First, let me remind
you that bipolar disorder is a MOOD DISORDER and mental
illness. So when a person with bipolar disorder, is NOT
stability he or she can say and do things they normally
would not do.
The Churching going older woman who never swears, curses
or drinks….COULD scream, yell and curse like no one else
The good wife who is normally loving…COULD cheat on her spouse,
scream, yell and hurl curses like she has never done
The good father that always provided for his family…COULD
stop working, demand a divorce, leave the house and vanish.
The person who just got married to someone with bipolar
disorder and everything was going 100% great…COULD find
him/herselves the target of massive abuse with statements
like, “You’re out to get me”; “You don’t love me”; “I
never loved you”; “I hate you’; “You hate me”; “I need
space”; “I want a divorce”; “I am not attracted to you”
NOTE-I have no idea how to separate all those statements
in a sentence, I probably will get 15 people email me
I should use semi colons, or I should but I did it wrong
and where in the world did I go to school :). Hey it’s
the info you want right? Okay back to the lesson…
The reason that people COULD find these things happening
is because bipolar disorder is a mood disorder and a mental
illness (hey isn’t he repeating himself?). So this means
if a person is not stable is not going through the
right treatment he/she can do and say stuff normally
Here’s where the supporter causes huge problems for
him/herself. If you are a supporter and you sit and
try to figure out why are these things being said
to you and what you did to deserve them, you will…
well before I get to that read on….
If you spend hours trying to figure out why stuff is said…
If you spend hours trying to figure out what you could have
done so things weren’t said….
If you try to bend and change to accommodate your loved one
during these bipolar disorder episodes…
If you spend time talking to others about why these
things are said to you and how you can be a better person
so that your loved one with bipolar disorder stops
saying these things….
You know what will happen???? Scroll down for the answer
but first take a GUESS. Don’t cheat.
SCROLL What’s your guess??
YOU’ll GO INSANE! You will drive yourself
totally out of your mind. If you are trying
to do any of these strategies to help your loved
one, you are totally on the wrong track. If would
be like if you are in Texas in the United States
and you want to get to Canada which is north of the
United States and you started WALKING south. You
wouldn’t get to Canada. You would walk into the
ocean and get wet :).
So many people do these things and it leads to
the supporters having a melt down themselves.
A melt down caused from a loved one’s bipolar
disorder and following a strategy that is not
You start spending time on the wrong things
and then you don’t have time to spend on the
How do I know???? Because I did this. And so
did all the other supporters I know. We all did
it and we all have concluded this is the wrong thing
When a loved one has bipolar disorder and is in
an episode, you don’t want to argue with him/her,
you don’t want to understand why they are saying
what they are saying. You need to get them
into treatment ASAP.
All energy must be focused on getting a loved
one with bipolar disorder who is in an episode
into treatment NOT focusing on what I talked
Back in the day, I would spend 5 to 8 hours a
day arguing with my mom or trying to explain
to her what she was thinking was not right.
It was a huge, gigantic, monumental waste
of time and energy. I thought that I was
going to have a stroke. I am not kidding.
The stress of trying to talk to someone
not in their right mind and reason with her
was destroying me.
You may need to read this email several times.
All this material is covered in my SUPPORTER
Anyway, if you need help in this area, check out
my courses. NOTE-If you don’t need help or
don’t want my courses, just don’t look at
them. I don’t want anyone to think I am pushing
stuff on them. I am just making my resources
available to you. If you are all set and have
all the plans and strategies you need, then
you don’t have to check them out.
But, how to get a loved one into treatment, how
to find a good doctor, how to deal with loved one’s
mood swings is in my supporter courses.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER? SALE on this course ends TODAY.
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.