I am a supporter of my daughter the rest of the family have given up.You talk about doing all these things, but what if you have no control over what they do, i can’t get her to save her money (she always says she is going to) can’t get her to get outta bed to go to the dr. app.(she blames this on the pills she takes) she is 22 and won’t
listen to anything i suggest

MY husband who was diagnosed over a two months ago was horrible to control with money. I felt guilty for taking debit cards from him until he got a hold of the check book extras and wrote checks like crazy. I am still fixing this. My story is when he first started really spending was we had bought a house and we needed a more fuel efficient car for me to drive an hour to work every day. We bought a 2006 Pontiac vibe and things were fine. A few months later my hubby Chris decided that a Hyundai Tiburon was a better car than his 2003 ford ranger truck. He called me to meet him at the dealership and I was bullied into letting him get the car. Well.. he regreted it the next day and we tried to get his truck back but the dealership would not budge. We ended up having to trade the Tiburon for a 2006 ford ranger truck and that put a squeeze on our finances. Later he decided he wanted a new lawnmower..well he bought it and then wanted to buy one for his dad. Next he got a Discover card and put 7500.00 of stuff on it.
I’m talking about he put a loud sound system in my 2001 station wagon without my permission and that was embarassing. He ran up three other credit cards that my mom got a loan for us to pay off but I am still paying on that loan to her. He goes out and buys things then freaks out about it and then gets violent.
Well.. Im happy to say after he was diagnosed and receives proper meds and support he is doing better.
We almost lost our home to foreclosure and my car.
My mom bailed us out again. I hate that she has to do that but I cannot control him when I am at work…
Any suggestions???

I realised I had bipolar disorder when I hit the shock of realising I had debts of a large amount. My first act was to transfer all money receipts and bill paying to a new account run by my wife and daughter.

That was May. Next I panicked and nearly fell into the clutches of a firm that ‘manages your debts’. Then I started researching and consulting while contacting my creditors. I gave them the fullest – and the same – information that I could.

I was then diagnosed with Cyclothymia [which I don’t actually agree with, and which has been informally recognised as bordering Bipolar 1!]. I am booked for therapy sessions.

I am past retirement and there are other problems and have so far had a stay on collections from 7 creditors [most have written off the debt – I think in the US it is called charge-off] but still have a few to teach to improve their ways ;-).

Here in the UK credit organisations are all signatories to the Banking Code and require a licence from our Office of Fair Trading to deal in credit, so it is possible to offer a bit of pressure back. The law also now is generally greatly improved to prevent debtors from being impoverished or imprisoned when they hit problems, though they are subject to fairly stringent conditions.

All in all a situation I have no wish to repeat, or to put mu family through again.

I must say that Dave KNOWS what he is speaking of. Although I didn’t know that my hubby was bipolar at the time, I had the sense to take my name off of the bills because he would wreak so much financial havoc. He wanted to buy a home in 2003. I told him that I would not have my name on a 30 year mortgage with an alcoholic. He had me sign papers that would ensure that I had no rights to the home if I ever decided to leave. I was truly hurt. My mom told me to stop crying because when it’s demise, which she said was immenent, arrives, I would be happy that I was not involved. I thought I was dealing with J&H; not mental illness.I was not wanting my name on the mortgage to protect my credit; is all. I have a small child to consider, since my hubby would be here today, so to speak, and gone tomorrow mentally.Well, the home went into foreclosure in 2005. I let him handle all of his finances. He filed bankruptcy in 2005 as well. I was not involved in that either.He didn’t tell me that these things were going on. I found out eventually. I didn’t know there was a name for all of this. I just knew he abused me and alcohol and sometimes he was Dr. Jeckyl and mostly Mr. Hyde. Ihad heard of Bipolar, but reading these things are just cold blanket symptoms that had no ring to my real life; until I googled David Oliver’s info.
We had joint everything from 1996-2001. In 2001 I separated everything and got a job (he had me quit my job when we got married so that I could concentrate on being a wife, and eventually a mother in 1997).
( Dave, I am awaiting a call or an e-mail from your office regarding payment arrangements. No one has gotten back to me regarding my question. I am on my own financially and I have to budget.)

Thank you for giving me the resources that validate my sanity.
Peace,
LaLa

Hi there all, first like to say I do not have any of these courses I can´t get them at present. But regarding money an bi-polar my wife (we are seperated and trying to work things out) went through almost $500,000 a trust fund left by her Mom to her. She went through this in a five year period. Besides that she got herself and us into debt. That is just the money, by saying -just- I don´t mean to imply it is not important, but it is less important than health.

I am so weary really I am. This illness is devestating it really is it can and will if not managed effect EVERY area of your life you the person with Bi Polar or you the care taker.

One of the biggest issues is that it is very very subtle sometimes it is hard to perceive the difference between illness and personality.

My mum somehow managed to spend the money that was needed for paying the rent and the bills on something else. We almost got evicted. Nobody knew she had a mental disorder at that time. My friend who has bp is overgenerous with money sometimes and would give others presents etc he actually cannot afford and he used to borrow money. It really IS a serious matter

About a year and a half ago my husband was diagnosed with depression. He quit his job and was told to get therapy. In the meantime our family (we have 4 children, at the time a newborn) lived on our savings. I am a stay at home mom but I found some part time work to help out while my husband was supposedly filing for disability. He never did. He was the one who handled all our finances. At the time I never doubted his ability to continue to do so. As time went by I began to realize he was more than depressed. After a year and my insistance he began to see a doctor but still refused therapy. I took over the finances and insisted on seeing his doctor. I then discovered he had spent our entire savings as well as the kids college funds. He also got my passwords for my own checking account and our oldest sons savings account. He began spend our sons summer job money on rent and food. I saw he had been signing his name to checks in my name for various things. He canceled my life insurance policy and cut his by %75. He decided to back to college full time and paid for costs with the savings. He applied for loans under false pretenses. After disocvering these things as well as seeing him do things that could seriously harm himself I called his doctor. When I informed my husband he left our family the same night taking what was left of our money ( about $3000). In a little over a year he had spent nearly $90,000. Since he has left he is now getting disability which his doctor helped him apply for since my husband begged him telling the doctor he needed the money for his family. My husband has not been supporting us with this money. In fact the visits I have with his doctor which his insurance pays for my husband refuses to pay. The insurance company sends my husband the reimbursment checks and he pockets them. I did not know when this all began my husband was bipolar. He is rapid cycling. Even now my husband believes he “was” just depressed. He says he “could have handled things better”. He is now going off his medications. He is living with another woman and spending his money on a lexus, new phones and clothes while the kids and I are on welfare. I don’t know if this helps anyone but thanks for reading.

Hi, This is to reply to starrdrmr. I KNOW exactly how you feel, if that’s any consolation:-) My son is is in his early 30’s and had to move back home, recently. He never has any money and will not admit that he has a problem with it. Like you, no one else in the family will deal with it except me. He’s had 2 cars re’poed, filed for bankruptcy, can’t keep a job. He is very intelligent and creative, so he can’t stand to sit at a desk all day. He has a way of making it everyones fault, but his. He guilts me in to helping him. He has no where to go, except here. I can’t even begin to tell you the money problems his disorder has caused me. He seems to think I have an endless supply of it. He’s taken and charged up 2 of my credit cards. They were paid off, which I had worked to do for 5 years. In a manic episode, he will spend XXXXXX amount of money. There is no stopping him, he will take off for another state, has no money, nothing. I have tried to do the “tough love” thing and refused to give him money. He has lived in halfway houses, stayed at other people’s houses whom he meets. He is so persuasive and persistent that people will finally do what he wants, so he’ll leave them alone. He is a great artist and can do graphic design, but can’t stay with it. Now, he’s getting ready to leave for Hollywood to be an actor, that’s his dream. (grandiose thinking?) Anyone and Dave, his dad told him never to take meds since he was little, so he is totally against it. My counselor tells me to “disengage”. How? I don’t think he can really take care of himself. I am desperate! (couldn’t tell, right?) The husband I married 5 years ago hates him and says he’s just spoiled and lazy. We are divorcing, largely because he can’t take it anymore. Every relationship I’ve ever had has ended because no one wants to deal with him. I feel like I’ve never been able to have a life. Another story, but my other son and my sister have it-they are out of control, too. My sister lives in my rental house, told me she’d pay rent-never has. I’m making 2 mortgage payments. I know I sound like this huge “victim”–I don’t expect anyone to go boo-hoo, and feel sorry for me. This is just the reality that I have to deal with everyday. I’m thinking of going to a mental health facility, so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.(a joke) My parents have passed on. I have no one in my “corner”. I would love any input Dave or anyone else could give me. Thanks for letting me vent.

hi david stil i dont know why you keep sending me email i think i born with bipolar my brother suffering from schizoferni i have long story all i can say for now is that im a ilegal immigrant in london and living in fear that makes my condition wors homeoffice want put me in prison i have done nothing wrong my fult is i dont want come back to iran

my boyfriend of two years was in ER last week with an attempted overdose.They diagnosed depression but I believe it is bipolar since many of the signs are there. I know that he is good with money and likes to buy the best. I also know and heard him admit yesterday that if he had money he could really “blow a lot of money” in a store we were in. Since I am a rookie I have been reading what you say David and listening. I really want to have a life with this man since he is a very good man.I will support him any way I can but it is hard not to “take things personally” and to have him tell me indirectly that he is unsure if he loves me, yet tells other people how totally devoted he is to me and how he never wants to lose me.How do you learn how to realize if you are coming or going?

Yes, Dave, I’m bipolar and I am VERY bad with money. Even when I’m NOT in a manic episode, I have a tendency to overspend, always thinking the money will be there when/if I need it. Well, I’ve lived in my condo for almost 3 years now, and have re-financed the unit I originally bought with CASH, TWO TIMES, for over $120,000 This was mainly to cover CREDIT CARD DEBT.

My original mistake was going to “survey” websites, that promised FREE* 52″ TVs – but – you had to sign up with your credit card to about ELEVEN different companies and then have FIVE different friends sign up in order to get the FREE* TV. I never read the small print, and I never canceled the FREE TRIALS, and my credit cards would get charged upwards of $182/month on some of the products I signed up for.

Needless to say, I never got my FREE* 52″ TV…These are SCAMS, bordering on fraud, although they are perfectly legal – you just have to read the “fine print.”

I’m about $15,000 in credit card debt now. I am going to ask my brother to BUY my condo (pay off my mortgage), because I cannot afford the $800/month payments. It would only be until I’m 62, at which time I can take out a “Reverse Mortgage” and pay him back, with 10% interest. I think it is a hell of an idea; he is a millionnaire, with no children, in his 50s, and it would be an investment for him. It would also help me out a LOT.

I DO spend money like there’s no tomorrow when I’m in a manic episode, no doubt about it. In the past, my Mom has “bailed me out,” but she’s not around anymore, and I have to do this on my own. My boyfriend says he’s “not going to help me if I go bankrupt.” He IS trying to make me more responsible with my money; but there’s always that SOMETHING I think I NEED when I’m “sick.”

Yes – tell everyone about having systems in place. Like you said, you may never need them; but they are a safeguard when we get “carried away.”

BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love them. My prayers are with you.

Money and Bipolar don’t go together. I have bipolar and have declared Bankruptcy two times before I was diagnosed with being bipolar. Now it isn’t as bad. 1. I stay out stores. 2. I think 2 or three times before I buy anything no more immediate gratification for me. I go back and say do I need it or want it.
Shirley

Yes, money problems and bipolar go hand in hand. My daugher is 20, she married a man after only knowing him 2 weeks, 3 months later he committed suicide. It was a devastating time for my daugher and her parents. She received over $35,000 from his estate. SHe spent it all in less than 1 year. She bought a car and wrecked it 2 weeks later, it was totaled. She paid cash for the car but now has no car. Alot of it went to living expenses because she had no job, but she also spent alot of it on stupid stuff. She has no sense of thinking about the future. She is now living with me because she has no money left. So I know from experience that bipolar people cannot handle money well.
SPL