Hi,
Hope things are going well with you.
Here’s a true story:
Bipolar disorder is usually diagnosed in the late teens and early 20’s, so it wasn’t a big surprise to Jessica’s mom when 22-year-old Jessica was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Even Jessica herself admitted to the doctor that she knew she had it!
The doctor prescribed medication for Jessica to take to help her with her bipolar disorder.
Then Jessica’s mom got the shock of her life –
Jessica refused the medication!
The doctor explained to Jessica what her future would be like if she didn’t take the medication, but Jessica still refused the prescription.
Her mom urged her to take the medication, and Jessica turned on her saying:
“This is who I am. If I take these drugs, I’m going to lose my personality! I’m just NOT going to do it!”
The doctor said, “Then that’s your choice.” (It wasn’t his fault she wouldn’t take it – he couldn’t force her to, since she was over 21)
Jessica’s mom said, “We’ll discuss this later.”
And Jessica said, “Why? It won’t do any good. I’m not changing my mind. I don’t need any medication. I’m fine just the way I am.”
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I’ve heard so many stories like this.
So many supporters, just like Jessica’s mom, have written or asked me what should they do?
And the only answer I can give is:
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
I wish there was a better answer.
I wish I could give more encouraging news, I really do.
But even the experts will tell you that.
I go over this in my courses/systems and how you can deal with an uncooperative loved one:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Here’s another true story:
Bill was diagnosed with bipolar disorder too.
And Bill’s doctor told him that he needed medication to control his disorder.
But Bill was a prideful man, and he believed that he could control it by himself –
He didn’t need medication or doctors or anyone else.
Bill ended up losing his job, his marriage, his children, his house, his car, and all his belongings.
Bill lost everything because of his bipolar disorder.
It took losing everything for Bill to finally get help.
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Both of these true stories illustrate that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
But don’t lose hope!
It took losing everything, but Bill DID finally got the help he needed.
And Jessica?
She went into a manic episode so severe that she had to be hospitalized (after she was arrested).
She realized that the consequences of unmedicated bipolar disorder weren’t worth the “loss of her personality.”
Jessica, like Bill, got the help she needed, and is still stable today. The sad truth is, you really can’t force your loved one to get help if they refuse it.
But if they don’t get medication, they WILL get worse. There WILL be consequences to pay for their actions.
Then maybe those consequences will be enough to force them to get the help they need.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
David: I’ve been reading your e-mails since May 2007. I just finished a NASTY divorce from my spouse of 17+ years. My family wants me to write a book about this ordeal. The bottom line is that if people don’t want to help themselves their’s nothing you can do but get out……quickly. I have all the proof that some people can’t be helped. My problems went much furhter than David’s mom, but they are ALL Bi-polar related.
Charlie
When I had my first “nervous breakdown,” (actually a manic episode), my peers on the psych ward told me NOT to take the meds – it would affect my creativity and my “personality.”When the nurse came in to give me the “little blue pills” (Stelazine), I hid them under my tongue, and put them between the mattress. Somehow, this nurse figured out what happened – and I had to show that I was taking the medication.
Of course, while they were “tweaking” meds, I found out I could NOT take Thorazine – it made me hostile, anxious, and backed up against the wall!!!
My creativity, however, BLOSSUMED on the ward, and I was able to sketch in charcoals (something I had never done before), play the piano by note, do ceramics, and paint!
Unfortunately, although I was on the ward for two months, I had not “come down” sufficiently to be released, so my parents took me home to IL to be hospitalized there. When I DID “crash,” then came “The Fall of The House of Usher.” I felt as if I “lost” myself. Everything was in “slo-mo,” I didn’t have the creativity I had in D.C., and was in a mild depression. At the end of another four months, I was discharged and lived with my family.
There is the perception that when a person is in a full blown manic episode, they think “clearer,” do the work of 10 people, feel “creative,” and don’t WANT to change, like the girl in your email. However, WITHOUT the proper medications, there IS a “crash,” and all the “brilliance” of the manic episode can seem very far away.
You are right, Dave, in saying the consequences of NOT taking your meds are dire. There IS “better living through chemistry,” especially with bipolar disorder. Take it from me – I’ve been there, done that. And it’s NOT worth it.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Hi David,
WOW, being sick is just a wonderful life. Where is that magic button? Ugly ugly ugly so ugly and clearly the winner.
Thanks,
karen