Hi,
Today I want to talk about 6 Ways to Help Your Loved One Stay On Track
1. Don’t Let Them Get Lazy
It’s hard for your loved one when they, perhaps, have lost their job and are now on disability. Some people lose their sense of direction when they have nothing to wake up for any more when they have no job to go to. Don’t let your loved one get lazy just because they aren’t working any more. Encourage them to make a To-Do List, or something else that forces them to be productive in some way every day – just something that gets them out of bed with a day’s goal in mind.
2. Make Sure They Stick to Their Treatment Plan
Sometimes loved ones may stick to their treatment plans in the beginning, when they know you’re watching them, but then they slack off when they think you’re not looking. Don’t let that happen to your loved one. Make sure they stick to their treatment plan. This is so important. Especially when it comes to their medication. No, they’re not a child, and you can’t make them take their medication by forcing it down their throat. But you can encourage them and reinforce the importance of taking it. Be the same way with the rest of their treatment plan – going to their appointments with their psychiatrist, doctor, and therapist. Eat a good diet, exercise, and sleep right, etc.
3. Use a Buddy System
Try to keep them on track by finding a “BP Buddy” for them – maybe someone from their bipolar support group. Someone who knows what they’re going through, and is perhaps sharing the same struggles. Maybe they can do some things together, maybe some things to keep them from getting bored – maybe they share the same interests, or at
least could go out to eat or to the movies, etc.
4. Encourage Them to be Independent
Don’t act like your loved one’s babysitter. Encourage them to be independent, and not
dependent on you. You want to be supportive, and you want them to feel your support and to know that you’re there for them, but at the same time, you don’t want them to feel as if you’re smothering them. If you have grown children, remember back to when your children were teenagers and were trying to show that they were “grown up.” Your loved one is going through the same thing. Stay close enough that if they want your help, you can help them, but give them enough room that they can do what they can for themselves.
5. Be Their Cheerleader
When your loved one does make advances in their growth, say, in therapy, be their
personal cheerleader! Make sure they know that you are on their side, not only NOT
nagging them, but being positive and encouraging, and cheering them on to do good so that they don’t get depressed. Even small advances can be good ones.
6. Be a Good Listener
Your loved one may not always be in the mood to talk, but when they are, they are going to want a good listener. It’s not very hard to be a good listener. The biggest rule is to listen more than you talk! Most people just don’t get that. It’s good to use non-verbal
communication as well – be sure to nod to show that you are listening, for example. Do not cross your arms or legs, as these can give negative connotations. Hopefully, this will
encourage your loved one to talk to you more often and share more.
Being a good supporter isn’t an easy job. But it is so important to your loved one that you encourage them every step of the way.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
I can honestly say I do most of these things. Number 1 is my challenge with my bipolar mate. I find myself lately saying to myself that she is downright lazy. She refuses to look for a job and only when I continue to encourage her to apply for jobs will she put in one app and nothing else for months. She turned down a great opportunity last month because she thought she would be getting disability. It hasn’t panned out and I think it would not be good for her as she is also a recovering addict (clean 3 years) and boredom is a trigger for trouble. I cook when I get home from work and only recently encouraged her to take the car to her therapy and doctor sessions. She watches tv and takes naps all day and with her medication she sleeps all night. I am about to stop paying for her cell phone untill she looks for work regularly or starts to volunteer somewhere. The money would help, but I just don’t like to see her sit around and have suggested she volunteer a few hours a week. It’s like talking to a nice pillow.
so i’m supposed to be a good little boy and follow these instructions for care of the “diseased one”, not question the bipolar disease concept, take care of her needs and not expect reciprocity…and where are f****the instructions for her to take care of my needs?? I know…buy the course which seems more like self-help book sales pitches that promise but just keep you buying more with false hopes for results.
My biggest gripe has to do with the induced learned helplessness and victimhood that seem to primarily serve pharmaceutical interests at the expense of patients and families.
I’m diagnosed with bipolar, my family has deserted me as a useless cause. I’ve tried forwarding your emails to them and it all falls on deaf ears, I thank you for the little bit of support and understanding I receive from your emails but it’s still very hard road to walk alone.
Your faithful reader Fred