Hi,

You know, we go along sometimes, and we take things for granted. Like we take for granted that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. We just do, right? Why? Because it rose today.

And we expect that our loved one is going to be stable today, right? Why? Because they were stable yesterday. We just take that for granted. Some things we just take for granted.

Well, some things we can just take for granted. But what about the other things? What about when you can’t take it for granted that your loved one is going to be stable today just because they were stable yesterday? What if something triggers them today and they go into a bipolar episode? That can still happen no matter how long they have been stable.

But you can take things for granted TOO much, and then get into trouble. The point is, you need to expect the unexpected. You need to try to plan for every eventuality when it comes to bipolar disorder.

That way you’re not taken by surprise, and the next thing you know…Your loved one is in a bipolar episode and you totally did NOT expect that!

Like what happened to this couple that I know. They were planning this long distance move. They had planned everything out to the letter, and even to the last penny.

They had saved all their money for the move. They had given notice to their landlady…They had gotten a new apartment in the new state they were moving to…Paid the deposits and already gotten everything turned on like the electricity and water and everything…

Forwarded their mail…Transferred their bank accounts…Had everything packed in boxes and crates and were living out of a small suitcase and eating fast food…Told everyone they were moving…Said their goodbyes…And were all ready to go in 5 days.

Then the unexpected happened. The husband had a major car accident and ended up in the hospital.

They thought they had planned for everything, but they hadn’t planned on that. They had not planned on the unexpected to happen, and they were totally unprepared for it.

They decided to go ahead with the move anyway, even though he had to stay behind for a month in a rehab hospital before he could join her in the new city. It was rough going, but she was able to hold onto her bipolar stability and not go into a bipolar episode, because she kept taking her bipolar medication, and kept her stress levels to a minimum, in spite of a major move (it helped that she had family for support where she was moving to).

The point is, you need to be able to expect the unexpected. When it comes to bipolar disorder, you need to plan and plan…And then plan some more.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Remember back in school…There were some students who got A’s, and some students who got C’s. And for those C students, it didn’t matter how much they tried or studied, they just weren’t A students. In other words…There was just a limit to what they could do.

There are other kinds of limits in life as well. For example…We have speed limits. Those are rules that are imposed on us for our own (and others’) safety. And we have to obey those limits, or else we’ll get a ticket.

There are also endurance limits. In other words…There is only so much that your body will tolerate before it will react.

So, like, if you’re under a lot of stress and anxiety for a long period of time, your body may react with stomach problems or migraines, or, at worst, when it’s reached its absolute limit, you will have a heart attack or stroke. Especially if you have pushed it to its limits by doing other unhealthy things by eating wrong (being overweight) and smoking.

Well…People also can have their limits. Like when they’re dealing with a loved one with
bipolar disorder. You have to have a lot of patience when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. But what do you do when that patience is stretched to its limit?

What can you do when you feel like you don’t have any patience left for your loved one? Do you just stretch the boundaries even further? Do you keep allowing them to continue the behavior?
Do you keep stuffing your feelings? Do you walk around on eggshells, not wanting
to make any trouble?

Do you keep everything inside, not wanting to take the chance of making them even worse?
Aren’t you sick of them laying around on the couch all the time? What about them spending money you can’t afford for them to spend? What about their lying all the time?

Now ask yourself: Is it worth it? If you are stretched to your limit…And you are the one getting sick…Is it worth stuffing your feelings, and walking around on eggshells in fear of making your loved one worse?

Ask yourself: What about me? What about my needs? Because you, and your own needs, are just as important as your loved one and their needs!

And if you have been doing the above things, and if you are stretched to your limit, and if it is starting to manifest itself in physical ways…Then you do need to do something about it, before
it gets worse.

Because then you could wind up as sick as your loved one…Or even worse. Like I said earlier…You could even wind up with a heart attack or stroke from the stress and anxiety.

Do you want that to happen? No, you don’t. You may think that keeping your feelings from
your loved one is protecting them in some way, helping them, but it actually isn’t. It isn’t helping them, because it isn’t helping you. In fact, it is actually hurting you. And it is hurting the relationship between you, because you aren’t being honest.

And honesty in a relationship is very important, especially when you’re dealing with bipolar
disorder. So you need to own up to your feelings. Somehow…You need to tell your loved one how you are feeling.

They need to share the burden. If there is something they can do to help the situation, then they must do it. But they can’t do anything to help you, if you don’t first tell them what they can do.
You need to tell them, because they’re not a mind-reader. Let them help you, like you help them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave