Hi, how are you feeling today? I hope you’re feeling good. If your loved one is not in an episode, you can consider it a good day! On the other hand, if the two of you are struggling, you may need this blog today. It’s about working together for your loved one’s stability (and whether you can do that)/

Do you think that your loved one feels your support? Or are you frustrated, because you know you’re going out of your way to support them, but they don’t seem to appreciate it? Maybe they just don’t see what you’re doing as support. Maybe they are in their own little “bipolar world.”

Maybe they really are taking you for granted.

Some people with the disorder get so caught up in themselves and their own suffering that they can ignore their supporter and what is done for them. I’m not saying that this makes them a bad person or anything, but it may point out a problem in your relationship.

It’s important that you get your own needs met before you can meet your loved one’s needs. Or, maybe even not before, but you at least do need to get them met. If you don’t, you will end up resenting your loved one, among other negative feelings.

The point is that you both need to work together in order to have a good relationship in spite of the bipolar disorder. Because that can be very difficult. Impossible, if you don’t work together.

In order to be on the same side, your loved one has to know what you are thinking and feeling.

Stop tip-toeing around them. Be assertive. Tell them how you feel, even if it’s negative. That’s the only way they’re going to know – they are not a mind-reader. Don’t be so afraid to hurt their

feelings. If done properly, no one’s feelings will get hurt.

Pick a time when your loved one is not in an episode. Or even isolating or being distant from you. They need to be receptive to your advances. Try to be kind and loving when you bring up this topic. You want to be sure not to be threatening, or cause your loved one any stress or anxiety, or they won’t open up to you. Then, being calm, and using a soothing voice, tell your loved one how you feel.

You can say something like: “I love you, but I feel like you’re pulling away from me, and that hurts me. I want to help you with your struggle with bipolar disorder, but I need your help in telling me what you need.”

You see? This is not threatening, but offering support. Especially if you use a calm, soothing tone of voice. Then be ready to do what your loved one needs to further their stability. It’s always better when you work together.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave