Hi,

Hope you are having a great day.

I have something interesting for you.

I saw a post on my blog from Mona.

She said:

“I have a question, Dave, if that’s
alright. BTW, I do agree with you
on the ‘baby steps’ concept. My
question is this: Can you tell me
what kind of responses might come
from a person with bipolar if they
are trying to repair a relationship
(from a bad episode) and the person
does not want to have anything to
do with them (because of what
happened)? Could that trigger a
suicidal response? (Or some sort
of retaliation?) And if so, how can
a support person help their bipolar
loved one get through such harsh
reality, or how can they help prevent
such a response?”
———————————————

Well, first of all, like I always say, I’m not a doctor, therapist, or any other kind of medical or mental health professional, so I can’t give that kind of advice.

I can only give my opinion, based on my experience.

But I will tell you, this is not the first email I’ve gotten like this.

And Mona does bring up quite a few points.

Many times, a person with bipolar disorder will do things during a bipolar episode (especially during a manic episode) that has consequences to it.

And sometimes these consequences are bad ones, and it’s hard for their supporter to handle them, or even to forgive them for what they did during the episode.

There may have been risky sexual behavior, or even an affair.

There may have been excessive spending, or poor business decisions, that may have affected (or even drained) the family’s finances.

There may have been other things that happened as well that hurt the relationship.

The supporter may have some negative feelings, like hurt, anger, resentment, etc.

Then these things might cause some real damage to the relationship.

Even though the one with bipolar disorder wants to repair the relationship after they come out of the episode, the supporter might be reluctant to accept these attempts.

Communication is one of the things I stress in my courses/systems, because that is really important in the relationship.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But if the supporter is no longer even willing to communicate with their loved one, then it may cause their loved one to get worse, and they might go into a depression.

One of the symptoms of a depressive episode is suicidal thoughts.

If this happens, it may not be your fault.

After a manic episode, many people with bipolar disorder will “crash” into a bipolar depressive episode and have these kinds of thoughts anyway, because their thinking is distorted.

If this happens, they may have these suicidal thoughts.

It’s part of the depression, part of their bipolar disorder.

You can’t prevent them going into the depression, if it’s part of the crash from their manic episode to a depressive episode.

The only thing you can do to help them at this point is to notice the signs of suicide, and to try to get them the help they need.

At this point, if you want to help them, you will need to put your own feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness aside.

If they are starting to talk about suicide, you MUST take them seriously, whether they really intend to go through with it or not.

Try to talk to them about it. Or at least try to get them to share their thoughts and feelings.

This is where the communication
I was talking about earlier comes in.

Try to convince them that they need help.

If possible, try to get them to at least call the suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE.

Try to get them to call their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist for help.

The point is, as Mona pointed out, this is a harsh reality that must be dealt with if your loved one’s reaction is one of threatening suicide.

Have you ever had to deal with the type of situation that Mona talked about?

What did you do?

Hi,

If you are having trouble finding a great doctor and/or therapist for you or your loved one’s bipolar disorder, take a look at this great new resource that I have.

It’s titled:

“Here’s How To Find A Doctor, Psychiatrist and/or Therapist For Your Loved One And Get Them To Contact YOU”

Located here:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/findadoctor

This new resource reveals a method that I invented when my mom lost her doctor in 1 day and the hospital provided ZERO referrals of a new doctor.

My dad’s idea was to call into the phone book and after several calls he said, and I will never forget this, “I guess there just aren’t any doctors around here taking any patients.”

At that point, I took over and I invented a system to not only find a doctor, but finding a therapist and I am
not talking about clueless ones but ones that are incredible.

Best of all, if you use my method the doctor and/or therapist will contact you. Great doctors and therapists.

It’s sounds hard to believe but it’s true. It’s funny that everyone laughed at me when I told them about the system but today everyone is grateful that did invent it or my mom would seriously probably be still in a major episode.

Anyway, if you need help OR if you don’t feel good about your current doctor OR therapist, then check out this resource here:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/findadoctor

I am going to the gym now.

Catch you tomorrow.

Dave

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok.

Today I want to concentrate on you, and on tricks to being a better supporter.

You may be thinking you already know what I’m going to say, but then you might learn a new trick or two, also!

If you haven’t already, read everything
you can on bipolar disorder.

You may have done this when your loved one was first diagnosed, but there is always new information coming out on the subject.

There are new books, information on the Internet, articles at the library, etc.

Also, talk to other supporters, because they might have new information as well.

Stay informed, always stay educated!

One thing I teach in my courses/systems is to NOT be an enabler.

Don’t do things for your loved one that they can do for themselves.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Another thing you need to do is make your loved one take responsibility for their own decisions, choices, actions, and the consequences of those actions.

Remember, you are NOT an enabler.

It may not be easy to live with the consequences of what your loved one does during an episode, and it may be hard at first to make them take responsibility for them, but you have to.

You are not responsible for what they do, THEY are!

They are an adult, and so are you.

You have to take care of your own decisions, choices, actions, and the consequences of those actions, don’t you?

Then so should your loved one.

This is especially true when they go into an episode.

There may be financial consequences.

There may even be legal consequences.

But if you rescue them every time, what would make them take responsibility?

If you want to be a good supporter, don’t be an enabler!

They should also be responsible for taking their own bipolar medication.

You shouldn’t have to make them take it, or else they will become too dependent on you.

Also, you should never let your guard down.

If you do, your loved one might get lazy and slip back into their old habits, thinking that nobody is looking.

Like not taking their medication, or not going to appointments.

They might even begin to sleep too much (or too little), or to isolate.

They could begin to stress, or be in stressful situations.

These are all triggers to episodes, so you need to watch for them.

Watch for mood changes as well.

You also need to be on guard for all signs and symptoms of both manic and depressive bipolar episodes.

Don’t ever let your guard down, thinking that your loved one has been stable so long that they will never have another episode, because they will!

And, perhaps, the most important advice of all –

Don’t forget to take care of yourself!

You won’t be any good to your loved one if you’re not good to yourself first.

Many a supporter has been known to suffer burn-out because they spent all their time and energy meeting their loved one’s needs but not their own.

It is NOT selfish to take care of yourself!

Think about it this way:

What would your loved one with bipolar disorder do if something ever happened to you?

It’s not just your loved one who has to get the right amount of sleep, exercise, and eat a healthy diet.

You need to do the same thing.

You also need to do some of the same things I tell people with bipolar disorder to do to maintain
their stability, like:

• Maintain balance
• Stay healthy
• Be productive
• Have a hobby
• Have a social life
• Spend time with family
• Have a good relationship
• Etc.
In other words, take care of yourself, and make sure all your needs are met physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I hope you’ve learned at least one thing you didn’t know before, so you can be a better supporter!

Do you have any other suggestions or tricks to being a better supporter?

Let me know, and I may use them!

Hi,

I hope you’re doing well today.

Many people ask me what’s the key to success with bipolar disorder?

Well, the key could be taking medication.

And yes, that’s crucial to success.

But is it the key?

And it could be seeing a therapist.

But is that the key?

People with bipolar disorder should have a strong support system.

Well, that’s important, too, but is it the key to success?

What about going to a bipolar support group?

Many people do that, and it helps them to deal with their bipolar disorder, but is it the key to success?

Now, you’re probably going to think I’m crazy (I’m really not : ) when I tell you what the real key to success with bipolar disorder is.

I can tell you this, all people I know who are a success with bipolar disorder had this happen to them.

Can you guess?

Scroll down for the answer….

Keep scrolling…

Do you know what it is?
They all got off to a bad start.

What’s that mean?

Well the biggest successes wound up in a situation where they didn’t do well with bipolar disorder from the start.

Over time they learned things and improved.

They gathered information either through personal experience, from others, books or courses/systems like I have below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But they just didn’t sit back and wait and do nothing, hoping that things would get better.

They tried to do things to help themselves get better, and they made mistakes.

But they didn’t give up.

Then they tried other things to help themselves, and some things worked, but other things didn’t.

Some of them even listened to other people, and tried what worked for those other people (mistake, everyone’s different).

So they made mistakes.

Those who didn’t learn from their mistakes, are still suffering from them.

Those who did learn from them, are now finding success with their bipolar disorder.

But people who are now successful with their bipolar disorder got off to a bad start.

Like not all medications work the first time around.

In fact, most of them don’t.

So you probably have to switch doses, or switch medications, until you find the right one for you.

See what I’m talking about? Bad start.

But those who were willing to stick with it became successful with their bipolar disorder.

Over time, they got better and better.

What about you?

Were you successful from the beginning (lucky you), or did you have a bad start at the beginning like most people with bipolar disorder?

How did you deal with that, and are you successful now?