Update on mom and dad….Bipolar? Remember the Good or Else

Hi,

How’s it going?

Thanks to everyone for wishing my dad well. Like I said, he had a stroke.

I went to see him. He is doing okay.

He has to stay in the hospital until they figured out why his blood pressure is so very high. They have no idea why it is.

My mom, did not take it well. She actually got very little sleep, which triggered her being super angry at me (of course). She wound up screaming at me and hanging the phone up on me.

I didn’t even bother saying anything.  But then she followed the system that we setup ahead of time in the doomsday scenario and now she is doing much better.

I spoke to her last night and she is back to her old self.

But if my dad gets worse, that’s going to act as a major trigger for a potential bipolar episode.

In addition, someone who works for me, went into a bipolar episode and now is in the hospital.

In the past few weeks, I have had one person

get into a car accident, one person diagnosed with cancer (had to resign), one person has other serious medical problems not related to bipolar disorder (had to resign), my main computer is not working, my mom’s medication has changed, dad in the hospital and some other issues.

So it’s not been a good past few weeks.

BUT, I have a strategy to deal with these types of situations. You may have read about it in articles I posted online for f.ree.

Okay, I was talking to Michele yesterday and she was having a tough day.

She had a bunch of bad things going on.

So then she spoke to her mom who told her to remember the good things going on instead:

Like that she has a husband who loves her, a beautiful home, a great job, her bills are paid, her car runs good, she has 3 healthy sons, and she is stable with her bipolar disorder.

When Michele did that, her problems didn’t seem that bad!

We were talking about it, and I told her that I have to do the same thing.

There are nightmare days for me. Or weeks like I just told you.

But I train myself to think about the good instead of the bad. And there were lots of good things, too.

With bipolar disorder, too many people just focus on the negative.

That’s why, in my courses/systems, I teach people about positive thinking.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?

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http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?

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http://www.survivebipolar.net

It is SO important to balance the bad with the good, or else your bipolar disorder can become WORSE!

If you don’t, you begin to think negatively, and negative thoughts lead to depression, and depression for too long leads to a bipolar depressive episode.

See why it’s so important to think about the good things, too?

Michele’s mom was right, and know how she came up with her little philosophy?

She has bipolar disorder just like Michele does!

And she’s been stable for a long time because she does what she told Michele to do, and what I told you that I do.

No matter how things seem, you can always find some good in it.

If you’re struggling, there are good things you may not even have thought of.

Even if it’s just the little things:

Like, you found this website.

You’ve learned about bipolar disorder, more than you knew before, which means you’re getting help for your disorder.

You have people that care about you.

You have a roof over your head.

You have food to eat.

You probably have a car to drive.

If you have children and they are healthy, count that as a good thing.

If you are physically healthy, count that as a good thing, too.

If you’re having a “good bipolar day,”  that’s a REAL good thing!

These are just some examples.

I know you can come up with more.

I’d love to hear about them.

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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

  1. My son is Bipolar. We are just beginning the journey to try and get him help. I’m very stressed and scared.

  2. I’ve had a bad couple weeks also. My beloved dog Oreo died. One of my other dogs is diagnosed with diabetes and needs insulin every day. My dryer broke and we have gnats that we can’t seem to get rid of no mater what we do. But I’m am learning tons from the bad things and remembering the good-like my wonderful years with Oreo. And how he brought me such joy. And he was my original teacher so I am now a dog trainer. The universe works all things out.

  3. I sincerely hope your dad recovers fully with no
    speech problems or paralysis. Have a blessed day

  4. I really found a course I did on Mindful Cognitive Behaviour Therapy quite helpful. It makes me concentrate on living in the moment, think about my breathing and how actually amazing the process of breathing is, and to focus on one beautiful thing really hard and put all thoughts of tomorrow or even the next minute out of my head. If the dark thoughts pop back then I forgive myself how ever many times it takes, be kind to myself as if I am my own best friend, do one nice thing each day, even if it something that seems tiny, like stopping to breathe in the perfume of a flower, that counts as a nice thing to focus on for that day.

    I send you strength and best wishes and hope.

  5. HELLO DAVID,

    MY THOUGHT ARE WITH YOUR FAMILY AND YOU.
    I WON’T REED WHAT OTHERS THINKS ABOUT YOU BECAUSE
    I CARE ONLY ABOUT WHAT I THINK.
    MY BIGGGEST PROBLEM IS BORDERLINE AND MONEY.
    ALSO, I AM INCAPACIPATED SINCE FEBRUARY. I REALLY
    NEED TO THINK POSITIVE BECAUSE SUICIDE IS IN MY MIND
    MANY TIMES A DAY. TX FOR LISTENING, JUNE.

  6. Good Morning!

    My daughter is bipolar. She is 29 yrs old and has recently been sent to prison for 7years. As horrible as that is, she does have a roof over her head – she will no longer be homeless and she will be drug/alcohol free while in prison. Also, I’m sure she will be given her meds while in prison so that is another good thing…she won’t miss her meds! So I’m looking at the good side of things….at least I’m trying!

  7. Right now, It’s HARD for me to find the “good,” although I’m giving it the “old school try.” Yesterday, I stayed in bed until 2PM, not feeling good, nauseous and had a blinding headache. Didn’t even feel like taking morning meds (for fear I’d lose them), or having a cup of coffee. But – I persevered, and by 8PM, was feeling MUCH better.

    I refuse to get depressed. Although the outside stressors of the tax debt, my refinancing, and trying to rent my room – all have me “down.” But I accepted a “mystery shop” to do today, so that’s something I CAN do to relieve the boredom and the fear of depression. Something – ANYTHING that allows me to use my talents, seems to bring out the best in me.

    Yes, there are MANY things that are good in my life. I have my condo, food on the table, my two cats (who keep me grounded), my car for transportation, and enough money to JUST cover my bills. Don’t know how long that will last, but I’m doing the best I can 😉

    “Take time to smell the flowers” is good advice no matter HOW you look at it.

    And, Dave, my prayers and blessings are with you during this difficult time with your Dad and Mom. Keep up YOUR strength, and the rest will follow. As you know, He never gives us more than we can handle.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.

  8. Hi Dave,
    I am keeping your family in my prayers. I’m so glad to know your Dad is better and your Mom is in her own good hands. What you have done all these years to research and support your Mom and Dad Is beyond amazing. Your parents are so lucky to have a Son that loves and cares for them like you do. You have every reason to be proud of yourself. As a supporter for my 28 year old Son and Husband with Bipolar, your continually amaze me. The fact that you have the strength to do all that you do is a Blessing. The fact that we live in a free Country is a Blessing. The fact that we have someone to Love and Support is a Blessing.
    This time of uncertainty, with our economical state, our political state is throwing us all into a spin. But we do have the tools that you so kindly and graciously provided us with and not to mention the Tools that Our Supreme Being provides us with on a daily basis. This is a time that we all need to take and reflect on what is happening to us and those we care about and decide what we are going to do about it. Then we have to take action as you remind us to do every single day. Your people and good friends that you depend on I pray will overcome their difficulties and will be there for you Dear Dave.
    Maybe one of your biggest blessings is that you have so many of us caring and praying for you Dave and put that at the top of your Blessings list.
    Bless You Sweet Dave
    Eileen

  9. Dave, I wish your father a speedy recovery, and bless your mom with the personal strength to deal with the negative situation.
    I am a bipolar survior and I say survior because I cheated death 7 months ago. After trying to make it on my own and self medicated with street drugs, then my home burned to the ground which lead to a major episode where I shot myself in the chest with a 22 magnum pistol, but I missed my heart and was very fortunate to live. I was diagonsed 5 years ago and have battled through many episodes. I now have a support system that includes my best friend, and others. I take my medication everyday and see my doctor on a regular basis. Like your mother this time of the year is the worst and I am currently fighting a depressive state of mind. Through all my experience I have found a few things that help me through the tough times. One, like Serena says breath it does make a difference. Two, slow down and look around find something simple and beautiful that can take you away for a moment. Three, break overwhelming tasks into smaller ones ( this pertains to my job). I do realise that I am sick and keep reminding myself that my actions upon other people are not a result of their behavior instead what is in my own mind. Bipolar disorder mentally and physically exhausts me everyday, but I must fight back. Keep yourself busy- especially if you are single like me. The war may never be won but individual battles can be victories!

  10. David I’m so glad to hear that your Dad is doing well. The row you had with your Mom sounds like me having a go at my husband last week, and when I calmed down I felt so so bad, and sayong sorry afterwards is so hard. As far trying to remember good times thats what I find the hardest, especially when things always seem to be going the wrong way. Eg I’m 34 years of age
    Married at 19. had 5 children by the time I was 28, through very hard unemployment times.My eldest son is Autist . 5years ago things went from bad to worst. I seen My 10 year daughters accident she was 5 at the time, it was 4weeks after I’d given birth to my youngest daughter, I thought I’d never get that picture out of my head. She recovered well I got worst, 4mts later was my first time in hospital for mental health. My anerioxa got worst. Then later that year I had a seizure, and back to hospitals again to find out why? Started to try really hard to beat the depression, gained a little bit of weight. Even gave up the fags, Then I stopped the antidepressants against doctors advice. when a family row caused so much upset to me I went down hill again. Lost all the weight again. Then all of a sudden things felt Brillant I was on TOP of the World. Didnt know Why and Didnt care why it felt so GOOD. Evenually admitted I had an eating disorder and had to go into hospital for a rehab programme. That was when (some months Later) that I discovered I was as high As a kite. That good feeling was then taken away from me. When I came home from hospital I had to re adjust to been at home (4mts in hos) A few months later we discovered my husband had a bad heart. Time bomb for a heart attack, he’s only38. He’s a veggie doesnt smoke or drink I was really mad as to wHy me again more problems. LIke your dad blood pressure and took them 6mts to get it normal again. THis is without all else thoughs stupid rows you have its without money problems its without children been sick. How in the name of God can you look on the bright side of life? I know it wouldnt be living life if you have it prefect. I also Know if you dont have bad times you never know when its good. My brother the other day when I said that I was depressed he said just make yourself think positive even if you dont believe it. IF ONLY IT WAS THAT EASY!!!!! psychiatric would be gone out of business.
    I Love my husband and love my children and wouldnt do anything in the world to change that. I wouldnt even change my eldest son thats who he is ( even after he smashed his telly last week) I just Cant STAND been bipolar. And Thank you for your daily emails they are helping me come to terms with it Slow I might add but helping thanks. God Bless Amanda

  11. Good morning, Dave,
    Your newsletters are like having a friend in a crisis. My youngest daughter is bi-polar and it seems they change her meds every 6 mos. I guess it beats having her off her meds (she does this occasionally to “clear” her system ). This is such an unusual disorder to have to change meds as you grow more aware and as your body changes chemically.
    She has been “clean and sober ” for 4 years now and fights the urge for alcohol and meth each day. Her children say she is MUCH more fun to be with this past year and 1/2 and seems to be aware that this season is the most difficult on ALL counts! So my grandchildren are reminding her AND each other of the great things happening in their lives! She is a “speaker” for her rehab group and now dates a doctor who is also a “speaker” for the same group, different town near hers. MOST importantly, he knows first -hand her struggle with alcohol…he’s been sober for over 10 years. He is aware of her bi-polar problems, too. The support of her friends and all of her family is SO very important. We can’t help with a lot of it but we GATHER info for her and she has become very open to hearing this info. Her life is going well for now and THAT means ours is, also. We do get so very caught up in the bi-polar loved one’s well-being.
    Praying for your DAD”S rapid recovery…your MOM’s stability through the season…and YOU keep up the good work. As one lady put it recently, MAY GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOOD ! WE love you,
    Barbi

  12. Dear Dave,
    I’m so very sorry you and your family are having such a difficult time. I pray that your dad is better soon and that your mom will stay stable. You are a good son and a good person. My son has bipolar, as well as several cousins. There are so many families who are touched by this disorder in one way or another. My husband and I have learned a great deal from your encouraging emails and your courses. Thank you and your staff for your hard work and for researching so much on behalf of the rest of us. I’m thankful for good medication, a good doctor, and a good therapist for my son. May the Lord Jesus touch your family with His healing hand and fill your home with His loving kindnesses and tender mercies at this Blessed time of year.
    Your friend,
    Lola

  13. Dave,
    I am sorry to hear about your Dad. I have been there done that with my Dad. Just keep the faith and things will all fall in place. I also know that at this time of year it is tough enough on some of us and then added pressure does not do any good. I lost my grandfather to cancer in July and this hoilday will be tough on the family but, we all believe in God and he will guide us though. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I want to thank you for helping me deal with some issues in my life as well. Keep the faith and he will guide you though. I always say ” That God does not give you anything that you can not handle and that we become stronger for it”

  14. Wow! i read this mornings e-mail and just had to say somethin.
    No i am not bipollar, I have good dayz and I have bad dayz too,but as strange as it seems I like to have them both,expecialy the bad ones sure they get pretty bad and overwhelming but you know what it reminds me that i am alive.I am a human being who makes misteaks.Thats what life is for right,to learn from,to prepare us for whatever lies ahead?If i get on a good day roll i forget why we are all here and start to look for what i havent done yet or what i’m not doing right.But on my bad dayz i feel and see progress in life i begin to look for the good or the lesson of the situation.The quicker we learn what ever lesson god wants us to learn the faster we get to go home,right?
    so again i say yea for the bad days because thats one more lesson closer to graduating the class of life. hang in there everybody!we dont want to do this all over again do we? Trust that god will never let us go through anything we cant handle.it jus makes us stronger!

  15. Dave, my heart went out to you reading this mornings e-mail. Yes, your correct, we all have difficult times. And it’s true, no matter how bad the time seems we STILL have blessings! An excellent subject so close to “Thanksgiving”! You are also so right about training your mind to concentrate on the possitives in life, instead of the negatives! Not and easy task, but one that is possible and so very necessary! I actually start each day finding at least one possitive to be thankful for…..and ONE is nothing, if we really honestly THINK about it……!
    I have had just a difficult life, many of us have, and yet, I feel I am one who realizes the opertunities I have to be GRATEFUL for the possitives in my life, and NOT take them for granted. OH, sometime’s I do waller in a pit of pity, for myself, but I don’t stay there long, unlike I did prior to learning how to be THANKFUL! It’s not easy, nothing is easy, being depressed and hateing yourself and your life, certainly isn’t easy….so it’s kinda like, the choice is YOURS, you can live life and be grateful you got the chance to do so, or you can live life and wish you were dead, one day that wish will come true and then what will the “dash” between the dates …born and died….say about you on your headstone? You don’t care? Because you are depressed, but YOU WILL CARE…and YOU DO care…..! CHANGE is one of the most difficult things we can do……and one of the most rewarding! Don’t think you just can’t do it, if you haven’t even tried. When it all comes down to it, WE are responsible for our lives, happy or not……it’s up to us, how we CHOOSE to feel……even in depression we can count our blessings if we are totally honest. We might not like it, cause we would rather just concentrate on the negative and why we feel so horriable….and then we need to blame SOMEthing…….SO, HOW BOUT WE JUST BLAME LIFE IN GENERAL? It’s a vicious circle…..or better yet, roller coaster….now and then you gotta just STOP the ride, get off, and say, I AM THANKFUL, I am grateful, I can count my blessings, THANK YOU. Then actually do it, think about each one, think about the little things, a moment that MADE you smile, touched your heart, brought tears of joy to your eyes. As many negative things that have happend to us, there are ten fold of possitives also, but we just don’t dwell on the possitives do we? Nope…..NOW is the time to start to retrain our thoughts, and even our actions, I found that smiling, actually changed my mood, I found that others respond to smiles, doing so, I changed how I felt, and possibly even changed how someone else was feeling, wow!THAT was probably my first step in changing how I thought, lived and viewed life. Yes, I still have down time, who doesn’t? Truth is everyone does. I will be keeping you Dave and your loved one’s in my prayers! THank GOD your Dad is doing better! WooooHOOOOO! HIGH FIVE!

  16. Dear Dave
    I am sorry for what your family is going through. You seem to have a lot on your plate. I do have to admire your positive outlook, its inspirational. I have to agree with everything Tara said….God does not give us anything in life we cant handle. Without out the bad in life we would lose our inability to appreciate the good. I just thank god that you are there everyday in your emails giving people with bipolar and their supporters hope and solice.Also want to let you know that on those days where you may feel beaten down yourself that there are many people out there, myself included that are keeping you in their thoughts and prayers. Thank you for all that you do.

  17. Dave I hope your dad recovers fully from the stroke. My sons blood pressure went way high and they discovered only one kidney was working. They found that one kidney was not formed correctly and they operated. He still has to take 2 bloodpressure pills but the bad kidney has some function now,. On the other hand my blood pressure went high and they disovered I have diabeties. Some times these things are a blessing in disguise to let you know you need to slow down and take care of yourself . I like the Idea of thinking positive. It has helped me through many episodes both with me and My oldest son who has Paranoid Schizophrenia. Keep thinking of the good things and helping others .

  18. Dear David,
    I am so happy that your father is doing well so far. I will keep praying for
    him.I am not bipolar,but am surrounded by bipolars.Your articles make my
    days.I am divorced since the age of 25,no children, has been very succes-
    ful until the last 3 years, when things crashed,economy related.Especially
    since the first Wall Street crash,the business is completely dead. I saved
    my hard cold cash/never believed in the stock market/ and was ready to
    buy land and build a house without any credit,but since I went to the point
    that I am not making any money/last month was disastrous-1000$net for
    the whole month,I am postponing the achievement of my goal.Bad things
    happen to everybody,but we need to keep positive and open mind.Nothing
    last forever.On top of that my brand new notebook was infected with
    malicious software-that cost me 10 hours on the phone with tech support
    from my antivirus company,the manifacturer Toshiba and Microsoft
    and another 15 hours work on my own.Hopefully everything is fixed
    and is going to last.Everything is breaking in the house .Only my gor-
    geous cat Christie Angel and me are staying healthy and normal,al-
    though there is not luck involved-I have been into alternative medicine
    over twenty years and staying healthy and good looking is a full time job.
    During setbacks we should always think about a couple of things to be
    grateful for.

    I wish you the best to you and your family

  19. Dear Dave,

    I just wanted to say you have my prayers and best wishes to your dad and your mum.

    I have been an advert reader of your newsletters for the last year and this has truly helped me to understand the conditions of my loved one that has bipolar. The most difficult thing is he managed to outsmart the doctors that he managed to get his money from insurance and spend it, instead of paying the bills so now he is not able to have a therapist accept him. But he does take his medication xanax which calms him, I have even given him homeopathic remedies to help him as well. I have managed to learn how to handle his violent outburts during his mania, by not entertaining into the argument through you advise. I learnt the hard way 5 stitches to my head. Unfortunately, we have not been in contact for the last month, due to my desire to have a baby, as unsuccessful attempts with him, I have decided to to a IVF program of which he disagrees and so I have no news of him for 1 month now, I miss him terribly, but I suffered too, with him spending all his Government benefits on drugs and drinking, he said he needed to see a therapist, I tried to contact a friend of his to help him, but even the friend did not reply, as he has been there so many times. I am sad as I am an Australian in Switzerland and not being from this country, not able to help him as much as I wish.

    I just wanted to say that I have noticed when he went into these violent outbursts or mania and/depression that it was during a full moon or new moon, his astrology sign is cancer and rising scorpio, affected by the moon. My job is security and was taught in my course, the same theory is mentioned to the Swiss Police in training that there is more violence during a full moon…..hence the world Lunatic….I had an aunty that worked in a old people’s home and she mentioned how the patients were more active and bed hoping during a full moon.

    As I study metaphysics and understand astrology just like my loved one, well ex for the moment.

    I had an astrologer friend tell me that these last few weeks would be very difficult for everyone on the planet, she told me 2 years ago about the financial crash in 2009 and also when I worked in Lebanon in 2006 to get out as a war was coming, I go out 2 weeks before the war. I just wanted to share the following email she sent me 2 weeks ago affecting all of us and that means people who are stable, so you can imagine people who have bi-polar conditions are affected tenfold as I have noticed they are highly emotional, sensitive, talented and intelligent people.

    The astrologer quoted:

    Between now 8th November and the Full Moon on the 13th November many of us will be confronted with our own worst fears, or our own inner hell. We need to look at these fears and, at best, put them in perspective and behind us.

    Energetically we are moving from one level of frequency to another and the “dregs” have to come to the surface before the final shift.

    Have a lovely day ~ tune in to everything beautiful around you, including the mountains and other parts of nature that are God, but less complicated and messed up than people.

    …………………………………………………………………………………………..

    After having read her email and witnessing so many people considered stable affected, you can imagine that theory would go with ie. your mum, your colleague and many others suddenly being affected.

    I do various alternative healing course and ask each teacher for a theory on how we can help bi-polar people as there are so many in this world with it. There comments are these people need re-wiring DNA downloading so that they do not carry hereditary disease or to get rid of any negative belief patterns from childhood trauma, another said massaging the feet to calm them down and get acupuncture for the rewiring of the brain, another said going into mania was due to ‘an unhappy love story’. My goodness, I truly an searching for an alternative in order for these people and their loved ones to have quality of life.

    You are doing a wonderful job to help people and I know laughing helps and wanted to share the following youtube video that is a message that should be shared to the world, it will simply make your day and Make You Smile.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

    Enjoy,

    Thank you soooo much Dave for being who you are, I think you are truly amazing and I pray for you and all that suffer from this condition or are a loved one.

    Have a beautiful sunshine day and sending you rainbow kisses.

    Tracy

  20. Dear David,
    I just joined your group a few weeks ago and am pleasantly surprised at the amount of information and support there is here. My son, 19, is bipolar and lives with us. He has good days and bad. He was misdiagnosed for a year and put on the wrong meds which made him worse. When he is himself he is the kindest most wonderful young man. He has a girlfriend and is just trying to figure out what to do with his life. I think it is hard enough to be a teenager normally and bipolar just makes it worse. I do agree when life throws a bunch of stuff at you, you have to stop and remind yourself of the good things.
    Thank you for being here.

  21. hello how are you sorry your having such a rough time im doing welll was sick for a few daays than got bettermy financial stsatus is ok i rarley have bi-polar episodes i have a daughter who lives in another state and i miss her alot but it dont make me go to crazy i go thru crying spells but than they pass well i hope you have better days dave and thanx for all your help on this site i congradulate you for all your input and how much you help others well have a good day and nite love cat!!!! earlene perry

  22. I am praying for your parents to get better. Just reading your emails gives me hope for me to get better. Right now I’m trying to get a job in the field I was in when I got diagnosed. Trying to find out where I can get a refresher course on the field I was in. I went to prison for awhile and now I’m on SSI but that is not enough income for someone to live off of. Having a Bipolar disorder and having family not understand what its like is what I’m living with right now, but I send all the emails you send me to my daughter so she can understand it a little better. She still says she doesn’t have time to read them yet so she puts the emails in a folder on her email sight. Hopefully she will read them soon. I don’t think any one in my family understands bipolar disorder, they just say I’m crazy. I know one day they will understand because, I’m always trying to explain it to them. They say its just a copout.

  23. I’m happy to hear that your dad is doing better and your mom too which automatically includes you. I don’t have bipolar but my boyfriend is and the hardest thing is that I have been reading all your information and e-mails and without them I would not have been able to correct my responses to his behavior. He shows signs of being more bordeline than bipolar and has not and does not want to get tested to validate either of these conditions, so that leaves me in the position of silently trying to understand and deal with him and his outbursts. My son struggles with understanding him and I do my best to bring to his attention too that his not responsible in many ways for his behaviours even though he does his best to correct himself after an episode. I myself have overcome a seizure condition due to post traumatic trauma syndrome and have been seizure free now for 8 years “Praise Jesus” for the miracle of healing. I too struggle with depresssion and anger at the best of times as his behaviours cause me so much stress as well as trying to keep the peace between him and my son. I do my best to activate my attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, I have a roof over my head, a job and food etc. Sure I struggle financially too as does my boyfreind, the good that I focus on is that after a 30 year struggle with drugs and alcohol, his been clean and sober for almost 4 years now and it has been a hard road but his alive and doing it one day at a time and he also survived a time out in prison which attributed to his getting sober. To you David I want to say thank you that I found your website and all those who support and those who have this condition, God Bless each of you and keep you in his grace daily.

    Beverley

  24. Dave, glad to hear the good news of your mom and dad. They are blessed and you are too. I don’t have bi polar, my recently divorced wife may have though. She is now living with another man who has no idea of the real person he has decided to live with. I have spent years getting her treated for depression, but I believe she deceived the doctors, due to the problems her aunt had. Her aunt was comitted and given shock treatments because they could not get her to respond to drugs. That scared my now ex-wife, so I believe she lied to the doctors, just for the depression drugs that made her like a fish out of water, but killed the pain of guilt she would have after all the bad things she would do on the manic side of her person.

  25. HELLO DAVID;
    I am sorry to hear about your Dad, I hope he recovers well, I can understand what your Mom is going through, my step father is going through the same thing, only Mom passed away from congested heart failure this past February (08), he says he is doing well, but he hides him self away, no social life, just hangs in the house they shared. They were together for 35 years! he is coming up for Christmas because I did not want him to be alone. I think he is hiding a lot of deep, sad, depression, no doubt, they have spent a life time together, we have not spoken much of her.
    My Mom had battled a long history of serious Bi-POLAR. She had a very harsh life, can’t mention how harsh, but a lot of pain, her life was horrible. We were seperated for 18 years. when we came back in contact, I helped her with her failing health, her out of control bi-polar episodes, then the final days of her heart giving out.
    My Mom always told me to keep on fighting and don;t let “IT” win, meaning bi-polar. My Biological Dad was bi-polar, all my aunts on my mom’s side were to, so it runs pretty harsh in the family. But she would tell me not to let it win, keep battling, keep strong.
    I have a hard time without my Mom, we were very close, with the short time we had together. I cannot get over her death, and the very loss of her. She had made so many sacrifices for us kids, gave all she could, and fought for me when I was taken away, she was too sick to raise me. This will be the first Christmas without her, and her birthday is coming soon, another first without her here. It feels like yesterday that she is gone, when it will be a year in February 09′ the pain never stops. Our life was stolen away by others who kept us apart.
    Bi-polar has ruined most of my family. Back in the my Mother’s time, it was not recognized and was not reated, same with my other family members who had it. It is a hard thing to live with, the loss of my mother.
    I know David you say there is good with the hardness of loss, but some days I do not see it, the pain of her loss, and what she suffered through in her life with it. and watching her die!
    I give your mother all the strength in me to get through her loss, and the pain she is feeling!!

  26. Hi, I hope your dad is doing better, and you and your mom too. You are in my prayers.
    I think I have had bipolar for years, but was just diagnosed with it a few weeks ago. I am having a really hard time of it. I want to be thought of as dependable, but have missed so much work from it and other medical things as well, mainly the bipolar. I am really close to losing my job and worried to death about it.
    I try to work so hard, then miss because of anger episodes, I work with the public, If I can handle it I stay, when it gets to where I can not control it (which seems like all the time anymore) I have to leave work. the hardest thing for me is not being able to handle it, and knowing that if I get fired, I will not be able to find another job because of this.
    I just read on how we are suppose to look at the good side of things and what we have, but at the same time If the job goes, so does all that.
    I am a realist, or try to be and it is really hard for me to accept all this. At least i have a name to go with the way i have been all these years, i guess that is a good thing.

    Pam

  27. To CHRISTINE: What you are experiencing now, is called an “Anniversary Reaction.” It usually happens around the time of another traumatic incident in our lives, and makes us as depressed as we were at the time we suffered with it.

    My Anniversary Reactions happen in the Spring. It goes something like this: I lost my father to a sudden heart attack while I was home alone with him, in 1969, around Easter. I remember going to Easter Services alone; my Mother couldn’t bring herself to go.

    I married my first husband around Easter in 1984; unfortunately, he died the day after Christmas in 1989.

    My Mother and my second husband both died in late September (different years), and I find myself “down” in the Fall as well.

    I usually need a “tweaking” of my meds during the Anniversary Reaction, and extra counseling time. To be honest with you – they never go away, just get a little easier to deal with with time. But RECOGNIZING that the time of year – and the death that happened with it – is what brings it to mind, and you’ll feel better knowing that it happens to most people with bipolar disorder. We associate the trauma with the time of year – it’s perfectly “normal” to feel this way. So – don’t beat yourself up. I’m sure your Mom knew you loved her, and was proud that you had the time together that you did. You are a GOOD daughter to invite your Father for Christmas; that’s a step in the right direction!

  28. dear dave, i have only now figured out how to sendyou an email. Thanks for all of you work. You are giving us all a lot of hope and strength. also insight. I hope that you father will be all right and recover from his stroke. I also wish you a wonderful holiday season. I hope that it will be a season full of joy and love.

  29. Dear Dave,
    Thank you so much for the informations you have e-mailed me. They are very useful. I found that you are very sincere and like an angel beaming LIGHT on us. My son has bipolar since early 2007 and has had 2 full-blown episodes and recently 1 relapse. He is now slightly depressed. He is 20. Which course should I buy? I would like him to be independent because my husband and I will die one day.

  30. David be strong you have much to give to your family and to your readers!
    I’m just coming out of a “slump” so I’m getting to a better place than I was last month so I can look back and say, “Wheww!.. I’m glad that’s behind me now.” and I hope you all can do that soon too. It seems no matter what I’m going through I always see or hear from someone who is going through just a little more, sometimes a lot more. I have a picture in my home office of a little girl alone on a beach with footprints spread out behind her in a long row. The caption, “My child it was then that I carried you.” I remember that whenever things get really tough. This time of year my mother’s and my daughter’s bipolar kicks into active mode. Mom refuses medication saying, “Its an organized plot by the government to get people hooked on chemicals.(for money of course)” My daughter dabbles at going to therapy but refuses to stay on the medications they give her. Between the physical ailments that plague my daughter in cold weather and the depression she settles into it becomes very hard to be jolly around her during the holidays. At this time of year Mom is more on the manic side of the block and placing the two of them in each others vacinity is just asking for trouble. Then they each get jealous of any attention shown to the other so we tend to play down any family gatherings planned. Mom always goes on a rampage causing further rifts between herself and her siblings who are mainly worried about protecting Grandma (94) and in fragile health. Then after the holidays Mom will bottom out and become depressed and upset over the fact that the holidays passed her by and all she got done was fighting with everyone but she won’t beleive it could be a result of her bipolar episode. She will forget that she attempted to burn grandma’a house down and told her niece with cancer that she was going to die anyway. Unfortunately no one else will forget. She will insist that “If your any child of hers you will have nothing to do with those people!” That episode will last till spring. At which point she will be able to get out and garden which she loves and finally there will be peace for a season. That is why my favorite holiday is Easter! Still I wish all of you a safe and Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas Season. I did not recognize this wa an illness until I began reading your e-mails. Some of our older family members believe that she is possessed!
    Also I’m interested in this “Anniversary Reaction” that was mentioned. I guess I’ve always recognized that certain dates trigger episodes with my Mom. The most traumatic is the anniversary date of my youngest son’s death at age 7 from cancer. This is still a difficult time for me that I recognize by spending more time to myself and not trying to take on any big projects during the month between his birthday and the date he died. It has gotten less difficult over the years and I’ve attended groups and studied all I could about the grief process. I found it theraputic to help others who have gone through the trauma of losing a child. But I find it difficult to deal with my Mom’s behaviors during this time and usually avoid her as much as possible. Even now that I understanding her comments and barbs come from illness I’m just not strong enough yet to shield myslef from feeling hurt by them. Trying to talk to her later when she is calmer only puts her into denile, is frustrating and accomplishes nothing. I recognize her right to feel grief and loss but I can’t accept the way she chooses to express it. I’m grateful for the information I now have and hopefully someday I will know enough and be strong enough to handle this particular “Anniversary” differently. Knowledge IS Power!

  31. Hi Dave,
    You certainly seem to be going through a rough patch at the moment, but I admire your stoical attitude.
    Your mails always make uplifting reading and you know your way around bipolar disorder.
    I sincerely hope things improve for you. Take care.

  32. Hi David. I live in Queensland Australia. I don’t suffer with Bipolar,but have a grandson who as a chemical inbalance in his brain.The Doctor said it is not bipolar though.I like reading what you have to say and maybe one day I will be able to support someone.I have just recently heard about alot of people here in Australia that have Bipolar Pleased to hear that your father is getting better.And your mother is doing ok. I will keep them in my prayers. I went to live in America ,as a child in 1946, and came back in 1956. My mother married a American soldier,so I’m 1/2 American. Have a great day. God Bless, Your friend, Roberta.

  33. Hi, David. I wish you and your family peace – I pray for it many times a day, and it seems to help. I’m glad you have been able to get the systems in place for your mom to help her ward off a major bipolar episode. I have not yet done that with my son. After finally getting medicaid so he could get medical help (we’ve been supporting him for over a year) we found that the doctor at the facility would only prescribe two weeks’ worth of meds, and would see him again for another two months. Back to square one – trying to find a doctor who would see him and prescribe. Don’t know why it’s so difficult. We did find one – but it’s so expensive, and I’m very tired. Working many hours to pay the bills, and missed the post about your dad somehow…. so sorry. Peace to you and yours.

  34. November 21, 2008

    Hello David,

    I’m so hoping that you are well at this time, and in a “not-so hector mode.” I understand exactly how you feel when there are too many things of the WRONG kind going on in you life or your loved ones. This is how I deal with it most of the time.

    I’m usually at the hospital each day about 3 times if I can. This is my favorite hospital because they take very good care of me. Well, the Emergency Department does. The “Clinic” part of the hospital is NO WHERE NEAR as GOOD as it once was. Their NOW interns, some of them, are not doing a 100%+ job pertaining to their patients, and I’m having that problem.

    I’d been going to this clinic on and off since the 70s, and I would NEVER have expected this coming from this particular hospital. It’s always in the top 10 or 5 ratings in the US of A. Not to mention, I was born at this hospital.

    On tuesday, I was walking by the Emergency Department, when I’d heard a commotion. Next, a door had swung open, and if I didn’t see it, I would have NEVER believed it!! I saw a bunch of young kids and police officers carrying a person that was covered in blood from the chest down, from what I’d observed. The person was COVERED in blood.

    Nurses was trying to get everyone out of the way so that they could begin working on that person. So, I continued on my way out of the building.

    Before I could reach the exit, I heard a bunch of voices in the Emergency waiting area, upset and crying. I’d continued on my way to the exit, and when I reached outside, there were more voices of tears and anger. So, I decided to find out what was going on.

    I’d calmed down one female and asked what was going on. After witnessing the covered in blood victim, I’d assumed it to being a shooting. We get that A LOT where I am from. However, it was not a shooting, but a stabbing at an educational establishment. The young man was “ambushed”, and stabbed twice in the neck.

    I’ll stop my story here.

    Yesterday, I was on my way to the clinic to finish up some business, and go to my favorite place for prayer. This hospital has a beautiful Chapel, and they have services there as well. I enjoy worshipping our “Author of Life” personally. I sometimes stay there for a couple of hours just giving Him ALL the Praise, and asking for things of the NEEDING kind for us all.

    Before I’d reached the entrance of the building, I tripped over the lousy construction work that should have been redone ages ago, and fell. Preventing my face from hitting the curb, I’d used my left hand to kind of break the fall. Well, I broke my middle left finger doing so.

    I have said in the past, that someone was going to bust their a– going through there one day. I never expected for ME to being that “someone”.

    I’ve a lot of health issues, and I most definitely did not need an add-on to the already extremely long list. I’ll share this with you one day.

    After Tuesday’s tragedy, my finger or any of my illnesses seem to be of little interest compare to it. Come to finding out, I know the family of the victim, and he only confirmed what I’d already suspected. As I write this to you, the family had to pull the plug last evening at 6P., his two daughters are now FATHERLESS, and the COWARD who committed the crime is now running and hiding like he’s going to get away with the heinous crime he’d committed.

    So, when I read the news or hear of someone’s terror, I thank the LORD-GOD, for just allowing me to see the day!! Everything else is “secondary”. I just take it one moment at a time. TIME is running out, and we need to do ALL we can to helping others, and being OBEDIENT SOLDIERS for our LORD-GOD.

    Well, David, I’m going to close for now, my finger is warning me to take a Motrin.

    You enjoy the weekend, keep our Heavenly Father close to you, and HE will do the rest. HE DOES IT BEST!!

    All of God’s blessings to you and yours always, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

    Very sincerely,

    RozKJ*

  35. Aloha Dave, Your e-mails have reminded me daily what I need to do to stay stable/sane when suffering from bi-polar disorder! It’s so easy to get down and confused when suffering episodes that the reminder to stay positive/ write a graditude list is so powerful to counter these potentially destructive musings-positive thoughts are to be meditated upon when ” falling down”. I send a prayer to your dad to recover quickly and fully, in the name of Jesus Christ the Lord. Amen. Mahalo(Thank you), Leah Marie in Hawaii.

  36. Please let me extend my sympathy regarding you dad. As far as the cause, my doctors told me the same thing. Finally they told me it was a clot. Before that tests were not done so they told my family i must have done drugs. Well that was helpful–family looking at like i’m a drug abuser. But your dad, like me, has to reduce stress as much as possible and try to remain calm. I was given an anti-depressant and a couple of other meds to achieve this. Good thing they did because i had 4 mini-strokes since and after my last hospital visit and some Coumadin, I haven’t had anymore strokes. Trying to remain calm in support of my daughter’s bipolar is very difficult but achievable along with my meds.

    God bless him and you for all your efforts.

  37. Hi, David. I hope your father is ok now, and your mom, too. Gosh, you really know how to handle bad things well. Know what? I am visiting my sister and her family whom I haven’t seen for 5 years. I noticed something has changed inmy sister’s attitude (she is probably developing some kind if bipolar disorder). I hope not, I’ll tell you when i come back. God bless!

  38. Hi Dave
    i hope your Dad’s o’kay. Your Mom won’t be o’kay because normally it does affect your bipolar, but she is a strong person and will get through. I really admire you I wish I had the courage and the strength you have, but well we cannot all be the same. Well, you know have I’m having tough times, because I have been having all the symptoms again for two or more months although I am surviving I have absolutely no energy and I feel worn out. I am so tired all I want to do is lying down which I also can’t do as they are busy renovating and I am really stressed out. I don’t think it is the renovation because my symptoms occured long before they started. I wish your parents well and give them my love. (Although I’m only but a stranger)

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