Hey,
I’m alive!
Sorry for the delay. So many things came up today
so I haven’t had a chance to write. Plus it snowed
AGAIN today so I had to shovel.
Anyway, I just had to tell you this story REALL quick.
I seriously have to keep it short today 🙂
Yesterday someone how a woman got my cell phone
and called me at like 5:45am. I am not a big fan of
conversation in the morning but I listened half
asleep :).
She said she need 5 minutes and that she had
got my course at:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
and was using the f.r.e.e question certificate
(note: for non medical and non legal questions).
She said she wanted to have a baby but her husband
had bipolar and she was afraid the baby would
get it.
She wanted to know if I, David Oliver, would have
a child if there is a risk of my kid having bipolar
disorder.
I told her absolutely I would. I am not genetic expert
but there is a risk that my kid or kids could inherit
bipolar disorder. I am not worried one bit however. Not
one bit. Why? Am I crazy? No.
As far as I am concerned bipolar disorder is manageable.
The people who have problems, generally do NOT follow
a system to manage it. They wing it. They don’t:
have a doctor or go regularly
don’t follow a proper treatment plan
don’t take medication at all or regularly
and many other things I talk about in my
course at http://www.survivebipolar.net
The course for people with bipolar disorder.
NOW, before I get a bunch of emails telling me “Dave
that’s not true. I have tried everything and it doesn’t
work”, I have found bipolar disorder is manageable. Whenever
I start asking questions and do my investigation into the last
episodes as I teach in my courses, I find people are not following
a good system. I have found that huge gigantic, life destroying
episodes are less about random chance and are more in a person’s
control.
I have 8 people who work for
me and I can see what works and what doesn’t work.
And no, I am not saying I know everything there is about
bipolar disorder but I am telling you, I believe one should
not fear a person with bipolar disorder or fear having a child
because of bipolar disorder. Again this is my opinion.
And it’s my email list so I can say what I want :).
With that said, I do want to have kids and I am not worried
about bipolar disorder. But I can not tell you what to do.
If you don’t want to have kids for fear of bipolar disorder,
that’s up to you. But I would get the facts first.
The person that called me was making a decision with virtually
no information.
Last year I got this question over and over and I put
together some material at:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/pregnancy/
I told her about my material which she is going to get and
I made her promise to write me her thoughts after she goes
through it and allow me to post it on my blog.
That was the least she could do since she woke me up at
5:45am. 🙂
If people saw what I see and worked with the people I work
with, they would not be so worried about bipolar disorder.
I have to run and will write more about this later.
Hey, I have to run, catch you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
I have bipolar II and am currently 35 weeks pregnant. I had to go off my medications but I am under my psychiatrists supervision and my mother, who has a degree in psychology also watches me like a hawk. So far I have been very lucky and have not had any depressive or manic episodes. In fact, I am tired all the time. My mother has noticed that I am moody and irritable though, compared to when I am on my medication, and I don’t know if it’s from being pregnant or from being bipolar. This is the first time I have been off of medication and not ended up suicidal or had a manic episode and spent too much money, etc. I do not recommend going off medication though unless you are under the strict care of your doctor. If I were to have problems I would have to go back on medication because the benefits of being on medication would certainly outweigh the minimal risks to the fetus and every pregnant woman is different so these are things you certainly want to discuss w/ your doctor. My issue now is that I would like to breastfeed and I probably won’t be able to as I am at a higher risk for post-partum depression and once I deliver the baby my hormone levels will change and I will most likely have to go right back on my medication and I will not be able to nurse, but it will not be the end of the world. I know there are alot of benefits to nursing but in my case the risks of not being on medication will probably outweigh those benefits. But don’t let this deter you from having a child just because you are bipolar. As long as you are monitored by your doctor and hopefully have the support of friends and family you should be fine. Also, just because I am bipolar doesn’t mean my child will be and if she is I will definitely know what signs to look for and she will get treatment. Life is alot easier when you have medications and doctors to help you. In fact, no one besides my close friends and family even know I am bipolar. That’s not to say that I didn’t go through my share of problems finding the right medications, etc but it’s definitely worth it and life is so much easier than it was before. So please don’t write off having children until you have done more research and discussed your issues/concerns w/ your mental healthcare provider. As bad as those pregnancy hormones can be I think they have kept me from being depressed and/or manic. I’ve heard stories of women who suffered from various medical conditions and didn’t have those problems while they were pregnant but they do come back after the pregnancy is over. Nature is an amazing thing, but I am not going to fool myself into thinking I’ll be okay off of my medication once I am no longer pregnant. I know it’s because I’m pregnant that I haven’t had problems. Besides, I don’t want to be that depressed again, ever. I’d much rather take medication for the rest of my life or until (when and if) they find a cure.
I have an almost three year old (May) and 18 mos. The first pregnancy before my medication plan began…the second was in the middle. My doctor altered meds but not well enough…my new doc gave me a heads up on something terribly dangerous: taking anti-depressants in conjunction with a mood stabilizer can cause bad rapid cycling, especially with the hormonal fluctuations. But most pros would say there are options to medicate and if you have intense episodes to stay on medicine while pregnant…although Depakote shouldn’t be one of them.
My husband is bipolar, and we have 4 kids. My oldest is diagnosed mood disorder NOS.
Each of my children is a huge blessing, and a manageable medical condition doesn’t deter me from having kids. In fact, we’re considering a couple more.
I agree completely about having children no matter what. As a mother of 2 children with emotionam and mental diagnosis and a husband whois bipolar i would do it all again. I took my husband a long time to realize that he needs to take his medicine no matter how he feels. He has been doing so well and is actually trying to go to work again after not working for over 5 years. I suspect my children are bi-polar although they have never been diagnosed with that diagnosis. My daughter cyles through moods on a daily basis. Even knowing all of this I would still have had my children and would have had more if it would have been possible. I t is no diffrent from having children with other health problems. Maybe just a little more trying.thank you for the service you do I look forward to the letters and articles that you dend they are very helpful.If not for anything elsze just to know that i’m not alone. thank you again!
The only thing I would like to say about this topic is that I have four wonderful children, so far the only problems we have encounter with one of my children is ADHD. It has been a bit stress full for us in the academic aspect of their life. I have no idea if this type of mental condition was enherited from my wyfe’s genes as she has been diagnosed with Bipolar type I disorder or perhaps this is a comon thing for some children as they develop in life. The bottom line is, if I had to do it all over again I would have my children with or with out this type of disorder. My wife and I did not know she had this mental illness and our children are very wonderful kids all four of them, unfortunately the ups and downs we have had in our almost twenty years of being maried our children have endured some of the very painful events that have accured, however we educate our children to the best of our abilities regarding this mental condition and I defenetly keep my eye on them to ensure they are healthy just in case this illness is passed down from their mother’s DNA and they inherit this condition
My MGM was Bipolar and killed herself in her early forties. I have Bipolar Disorder and my youngest son also has it. I would bet my daughter also has it. My oldest son does not. Here is my question. With “The no child left behind” act, emotional support, etc., as well as alternative schools for “bad” kids, why aren’t school administrators, social workers at school, guidance counselors and special education teachers ever requested, or made to learn about this disorder and how to deal with these kids in an educational setting. I was lucky and finally found a school that didn’t throw him out for misbehaving or becoming self-abusive. He is years behind, in 7th grade, and on a 3rd grade reading and math level. He had been refusing to do work previously so the alternative school gave him all “F’s”. Not incompletes but ALL “F’s”. Talk about killing his self-esteem and making him feel like a dummy. My daughter and myself are both considered “gifted” My sons are very smart. The one with Bipolar Disorder learns hand-on, but he is expected to sit in his seat and learn like all the rest of the kids. Medication is finally stable and he he is doing better. My daughter won’t even admit this may be an issue for her. She had quit high school, gotten into drugs and downhill from there. Currently she is anorexic and bulimic, but manages to kept straight “A’s” thru the last 3 yrs. at the University with a double major. The parts of her life are screwed up, but NOT school. Her major-Elementary Education and Special Education. She is awesome at it. My son with Bipolar also has Klinefelters Syndrome, which comes with learning disabilities. Why can NO ONE teach him properly? I’m so frustrated. I’m currently going thru a separation from my 2nd husband, managing. But, why do they not require teachers and administrators to learn about this, and how to deal and teach these kids. I’m just frustrated right now. I sent a letter to the White House several years ago, and an aide to President George Bush called me on the phone. She stated my letter touched her heart and she was very helpful and supportive. She had a nephew with Bipolar Disorder who was 21. The one thing she said to me that made a big difference and I would never forget was “Don’t EVER give up on your son, keep supporting him and advocating for him, because no one else will. He needs you and IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.” Just wanted to share and wondered if anyone had any suggestions about school. I even offered to lend them some materials on Bipolar focusing on kids. The only interested was the Special Education Coordinator who has been supportive and wonderful thru everything. But she is just one person. The schools frustrate the heck out of me. Thanks for listening! Everyone!
I can be reached at lkaminski@cmaaa15.org if anyone wants to correspond or has any ideas about school! Thanks and have a great day everyone!!!
Lori