Hi,
How’s it going?
Hope you’re doing all right.
I got this shocking attack the other day sent to me.
It said:
“David- Skip here. I have followed our emails for a few months now. I am here to tell you, you need to stop making promises to people who are severely ill. You act as if bipolar disorder is not a serious disorder. You are giving false hope to many who have no hope. Shame on you. I would doubt that you even have a mother. It’s wrong of you to mislead people with bipolar two think they can be normal.”
———————————————————
This email really annoys me.
1. I don’t mislead people. I offer hope and instruction.
2. Sir, people can be normal with bipolar disorder. And what’s normal anyway? Normal just means stable. And people With bipolar disorder can become stable. Maybe YOU aren’t normal. Maybe YOU aren’t stable.
3. I do have a mother. I have to have a mother if I am real. How else would I be born, sir? Yes, my mother is very real and, in fact, works for me, because she does really exist, does really have bipolar disorder, and is really stable.
4. You obviously don’t follow my emails too closely because I say all the time bipolar disorder is a serious disorder.
5. I write materials to educate people on how important it is to be knowledgeable on how very serious this disorder really is.
6. I learned the hard way, and it sounds like you have too, sir, just how serious a disorder this is.
7. Ask any one of the many people who work for me who have bipolar disorder how serious I think the disorder is.
8. I don’t make any promises. No one should. Not about something this serious. In fact, I do the opposite. I warn people that anyone who tells you that they have a “cure” for the disorder is lying to you.
9. I give hope. I don’t give false hope, but I give hope. Because sometimes hope is all these people have. There was a point that hope was all I have, so I know how they feel. Maybe it’s you that doesn’t have any hope. If that’s true, I feel sorry for you.
10. You need to read even more of my emails. I am an honest man. I have never tried to misrepresent myself or my materials or my work. I just try to help people learn about bipolar disorder nd to help supporters learn how to help their loved ones.
That’s all.
That’s what I teach In my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Sir, I feel sorry for you. You have certainly misunderstood me.
It’s weird to me how there are people that really want me to tell people with bipolar disorder that they are going to suffer and there is no hope for them at all. It’s very odd.
What do you think?
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Dear David
Dont listen to crap like that, there is some real “weirdos” in the so called “stable” world.
Just do your best to help people and just take e-mails like that as crank e-mail, that every person in the public eye, will get from time to time.
If the person left you an e-mail address, then tell him/her to go and read all your e-mails of support and thanking you for your help.
Keep it up boyo!!!!
Normal is a setting on a clothes dryer. Who is normal, I like to think that I am but some days I wonder. God Bless for your work and Love, God is the healer but we do need to have some encouragement.
Ah, Dave: Why would you let a person like that bother you. Your response should be, you have your opinion, period, done. You don’t need a defence mechanism. Just do what you do. Jeannie
Dear David: This man was way off course and obviously didnt make any sense. In fact there is a 25% recovery rate from bi-polar. Marya Hornbecker gives that statictic in he book “MADNESS. So you are a little behind in your facts.
Evelyn Stuart
Thanks for the emails……..
David,
I have to tell you how much I appreciate the information you give. I have posted before that I think that the man I used to date may be bipolar. If I had had your information before, I would have definitely acted differently towards him. You are providing a great service, and frankly, I don’t know how you are able to get things out so often in your newsletters!
fuck em dave keep up the good work.
Sounds like a bipolar person talking there. Why that’s almost word for word what my boyfriend says during an episode. We’re just coming off a huge bipolar explosion this week, and the “lying” and “futility of hope” are always the number 1 catchphrases I hear. If I had a magic wand, I would zap everyone with bipolar disorder. But alas, we all have to do the work.
In response to the e-mail saying that your not for real David. Obvouisly you have a mother or you wouldn’t be here to help others. I’ve been dealing with bipolar disorder for over 20 years now. And with medication and the proper treatments you can live a normal life, I know. I’ve done my own research though the years and with bipolar disorder you can live normal IF you do what your doctors tell you. YES, you will have bad days, but a person without this disorder has bad days, that’s life.
Hope is something that we all live with, the hope of a cure, the hope of having a great day, hoping that you won’t struggle for days on end. David you NEVER mislead anyone about bipolar disorder. If I read something that I’m not sure of I will ask my doctors about it to verified it and you’ve always been right. Four doctors can’t all be wrong! Plus I check my reference books.
This a negitive person that I as a person with bipolar would not want him around me! I want positive people in life, I need positive people in my life, they give you support and HOPE! Keep up the great work David! Don’t let people like this with no knowledge get you down, he isn’t worth it.
Thanks for the hope and education on bipolar disorder!
David you know theres always someone who is optomistic.
I sure this man propally don’t even know what Bipolar is or how it affects them and the people around them. I myself have learned so much from your articles i am working with a Bypolar daughter and with out your articles i don’t think i would understand her or even think there was hope.
I say keep up the good work you are an inspiration!!!
As to the fellow get a life!!!
Dave it sounds like this gentleman has been through a lot and has not had the strength to stand up to the disorder and educate himself. It is a lot of hard work to get someone stable… It sounds like he has given up… and that is bad news for his love one. I know in my case our family had to hit rock bottom and rebuild everything back up… If you were to tell me 10 years ago, that things would be as positive as they are… I would have thought you were crazy… It was not Dean (has bipolar) that had to change… it was me and my attitudes toward the disorder. I have a great poem that is for teachers but I have changed it for supporters that lets you know just how important your attitude is… (original poem by Haim Ginott for teachers)
I have come to the frightening conclusion,
that I am the decisive element in how bipolar is handled.
It’s in my personal approach that creates the climate.
It’s my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess a tremendous power to make
A bipolar sufferer’s life miserable or joyous
I can be a tool of torture
or an instrument of inspiration
I can humiliate or humor
hurt or heal
In all situation, it is my responses that
decides whether a crisis will be escalated
or deescalated and a bipolar sufferer
humanized or dehumanized
Dear Dave,
I hope this turns out to be a great day for you.
I just read the email. This is from someone who wants a one time miracle fix. Being stable is hard work. One wrong decision can throw me into an episode and starting all over trying to be stable. You do a great job. I haven’t had the pleasure of taking your courses but one day I will.
Take Care,
sandie
Please ignore that person. I really think maybe they have been off their meds or maybe not thinking straight. Everyone is different so don’t take it to heart.
Thanks for the work you do.
Dear Dave, I know how much you have helped and inspired my daughter. You don’t have time in your busy life for junk like this odd person. You do a great job of offering hope and encouragement. I know the Lord will bless you for all that you have done for so many people. Keep up the good work, there are many many who can not live without your kind help. Thank you, Angela Davis
I parade to the beat of another parade – and always have, even as a child. Besides – normal is BORING! It is simply a setting on the wash machine or a town in Illinois. Since I am neither a wash machine or town, I REFUSE to be normal. Stable is fine – and another word all together.
That man is so wrong maybe he is in denial and he has it and he is takin his pain out on you! I was diagnosed with bipolar 13 years ago and I have 2 kids and I have helped 2 of my brothers who also have it! My oldest full broher I helped him get diagnosed 2 years ago! He went off meds and lost his family because he has it worse than i do! He never recieved the cognative therapy that I got when I was diagnose and had blow outs of my bipolar! I learned about it and my husband keeps me in check!
Any one who sends you a e-mail that ignorant is the one who needs help! You keep on helpin. helping the rest of us is worth it!
I look forward to the emails….you do ‘have a clue’ and this is coming from a ‘rapid cycler’ thank goodness i am not a raBid cycler.
he is partially right . i am reading ur e maqils since 1 month and it is not as informative as it should be it seems ur only purpose is to sell ur books
just keep doing the wonderful work you are doing. unfortuntately you are going to get these kinds of things. of course it is a serious disorder. but it can be managed (no one said it would be easy, especially you). don’t let it get you down, just keep going, we need you.
I hope that this person reads the positive feedback that u get for your honorable, faithful persuit in the cause of helping any person with a disorder. I have been researching for the last month and there are so many forms of mental disorders and illnesses that it is MIND BLOWING!!!
My x suffers from bi-polar and a disorder called
Intermittent Explosive Disorder- which is a very very scary and seems almost impossible to cure- illness!
But, I don’t believe in giving up hope for his recovery. This illness deals with violent behavior and this is why I can no longer live with him , but that doesn’t mean that he is BAD or EVIL and that doesn’t mean that I’ll give up hope!! It is you and your emails that have given me a more positive attitude and has helped me to know that I am not alone!! I hope all the people who want to put your work and character down will do the research for themselves, like I did. They may realize that you are honest in your emails and have nothing but the good of people in your heart! Thank God that we are in an era when you can talk out and have a voice and we are no longer in the dark ages when anyone deemed “not normal”, would be automatically placed in a mental institution and left there to rot!! If people would just open their eyes and their hearts -they would see that we have come along way and it’s people like you, whom dedicate their lives to these causes, that have made it possible!! God will surely bless you for sowing the seeds of Hope, Love, and charity!!! God Bless You and thank you!
Donna: I like the poem.
Unfortunately, I run into people like this man. They believe that either you don’t have a problem or you do and that you can just zapp yourself out of it.
I hear these things often:
Just pray everything will be all right.
You just have to believe in yourself. (which is true).
Stop being lazy, snap out of it.
Stop taking all that medicine, this is what the problem is.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
You will get over it
You are too hard on yourself
You are making yourself depressed
You are doing to much, or you don’t do enough, and on and on.
I read an article the other day; the person opinion was that therapy was a waste of time. that if you had diabetes you couldn’t talk out the disease.
but, diabetes is not a disease of the mind.
Even if a person don’t have bipolar or a mental disorder, the mind (brains) is a highly sophisticated, complicated, complex functioning organ.
This is why an easy (one fit all approach dose not work) The solutions are as individual as we all are. What works for me and thousand of others may not work for an equivalent or grater portion of people.
Many will have reason why they remain skeptical, pessimistic, and resistant to anything that remotely resembles progress of any kind.
Do what you do, continue to offer your services, knowledge, opinion and suggestions with those who seek it, look forwards to it and appreciate what you do.
It’s his prerogative to not believe or interact in the blogs or courses offered. He has a choice, this is not forced or mandatory participation.
When you do nothing, nothing happens, I’m glad you many the decision to DO SOMETHING!
Thanks A Million.
Hi Dave,
There is another that understands persecution .
He came in peace, He came with love for all, he traveled by foot sharing the GOOD NEWS OF HOPE to all that would listen. During his journey of love he was mocked, spit on, and charged for crimes he never even committed…all for the sake of love. He never hurt his accusers, only pitied them with great love. His journey was one of salvation even for those whom did not believe that such was possible or that they even needed it.
At the end of his pilgrimage he hung quietly on a cross as the very people whom he loved continued to mock him, spit on him, and curse him. While bleeding in agony this gentle loving man uttered these last word to all that accused him …Forgive them Father…for they know not what they do.
Sometimes Dave, it is easy to believe that we are alone and that no one could ever understand us…but I’m hear to encourage you today and to let you know…a very special person does and will forever appreciate you, Even if a few in this world do not.
I received a book from a friend and I read it when I feel alone, persecuted and judged by this worlds. This book helps me to know that many are being persecuted at this very moment for what they believe is right and they do it with honor and dignity even in the worst of situation…The book is Martyrs by DC Talk. When ever you feel beaten up, all alone and misunderstood …Please always remember you are not alone…we all do from time to time and some people suffer more than us!
May God Bless you and keep you Dave,
Hope for all
Hi. Don’t sweat the small stuff. this is another example of ignorance and mis-informed individual about Bi-polar and any one who thinks or feels like he does is in the same category as he. the large majority of the public is ignorant towards mental illnesses and they label and attache stigmas to us. i have Bi-polar and other diagnosis as well. I am a stable person and a successful person. I am a peer support counselor for people with mental illnessess and alcohol and drug addictions. We will sometimes get into discussions of, “Will I be normal?” and I tell all around me that we are the ones that are normal. It is the people out there labeling and judging us who are not normal. I greatly appreciate your advice and emails you send out. You are doing a wonderful job and your staff as well. Continue to do what you do because you really are making a difference. People like that sent you this email are jerks and got no business running their mouths. One of my heritage sayings is not to judge a person until you have walked a mile in their moccasins. I sincerly wish that before people start running theur mouths to do so. You just keep up with what you are doing. Hope to chat again soon.
sincerly, Jamie
Dave
Sounds like a very angry person that hasn’t learned to deal with whatever situation they are in yet.
I am 45 years old and have a bi-polar mother who never has wanted to help herself and she never will. It is very frustrating to me. She is now 75 years old. My father passed away one year ago and it has been hell for me since then. It was before, but it is worse now. I have two brothers that live away from here and one that lives close. None of them go to visit my mother except the one that lives close. He will go once a week maybe. Everything is left to me to deal with and it can get the best of you sometimes. I have educated myself over the years about the illness, and have been doing more of this in recent months. My searching brought me to you and let me tell you, reading your articles has helped me alot!!! I know I will not be able to cure my mother, or even make her happy. But I can keep me from going crazy!! Thank you for your articles, I think you are on top of everything.
David,
This guy is in some serious pain, mentally, it seems like he has given up on either his medication or is expecting some over night miracle. I feel sorry for anyone around him. I appreciate your knowledge and wisdom. I was diagnosed in 2004, but had the symptoms for years. I served 22 yrs in the Marine Corps and was also diagnosed, with PTSD, Major Depression, Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety. Believe every day is a struggle and without a source or resources and prayer, many of us would not be here. We would be filling up grave yards. Keep up the great work, I, know it is not easy.
David,
I have to admit the same thoughts have crossed my mind from time to time. However,I feel you have alot of helpful tips. You also come off “Tootin’ your own horn” too much. In other words.you come off like you pat yourself on the back too much and think you’re Mr. Wonderful. But, I still enjoy your e-mails for the most part.
Dave,
you may get a few people think this about you. Just the same, there are far more people who believe in you. I own several books on bipolar disorder and not one of them has helped me like you and your website. There are many days when I feel like there is no hope for me but you have helped me realize there is. Thank you for caring enough to take the time to help out people you have never met.
Hi, David.
Sorry for the message that man left! Of course, some days are worse than others when things look more bleak than they did the day before. My husband has been in a mini-episode for three days now, and I feel like throwing in the towel. But today is his 65th birthday! Tomorrow (or one of these days, soon) he will be feeling more normal. Even as he is, he’s doing better than many. Your advice has helped me to change how I react to his bad times. Probably, I am TOO tolerant. Had I been a stronger advocate and a little LESS tolerant, it would have been better for both of us. David, you offer hope, and more–you offer practical and extremely helpful advice! Can you assure our loved ones have no more episodes and a constantly rosy life? –no. Nobody offers that, and nobody gets that. But you help, and your help comes from hard research and experience with your mom and others. I thank you, and send you love for that!
Sincerely,
Carolyn
David,
Don’t make your “cause” about you by bringing this stuff to a public arena. Confide in a small circle of “supporters” in a private manner when you are attacked. I am sure you have a reason for publicly bringing this “attack” to a public level. What is the reason? Might you share? Let your “cause” be enough. It may breed doubt to those who are already struggling when your personal struggles come before the “world”. I get “nuggets” of truth and support from most of your emails. That’s good enough for me, and probably others. Let it lie, even though I can tell it seems to hurt.
i have a 17 year old daughter with this and have learned alot from your letters. life is hard but it can still be lived and enjoyed. thank you. kathie
hey Dave ihave biolar and sometime manic but since i started to read your article iknow there is someone out there who really cares and in trying to help others keep up the good work yo
ur deed is never enough
Dave, my daughter Pat used to say things like that, so ignore the person. She is enrolling in the local Community College and will start at the end of September. She hopes to get the one credit she needs to go to a University North of here and get her degree in Elementary Education at age 47!!!
I only recently began reading your material, and I’m curious as to wether or not you are trying to sell anything to me. So far i enjoy hearing what you have to say…but remain sceptical as to your motive. I am newly diagnosed and certainly don’t need any BS added to my life as i struggle to mend all the relationships I have nearly, or entirely ruined.
I just wanted to say this from the bottom of my heart, Dave I do have bi-polar but since I have been getting your articles they have been VERY helpful for me, I like when you try to help people out when they need it the most. I saw on a local news story that is this is caused in the father’s genes not the mother’s and it reminded me of what you talk about.. Both my husband & I hope that our 7 yr. old daughter doesn’t have this condition but if she does we will be there for her and any other childern we have. Again thanks so much Dave for being there when I need a quick pick me up..
David:
Bipolar has a very wide range of symptoms and manifestations. i.e. very mild to severe(violent) and they can many other aspects associated with their symptoms. In the case of my loved one, his doctors have failed him. They have refused to listen to his loved ones and take advantage of our 8 years of knowledge about his attacks. He has the type that cripples his self awareness and has no clue when he is having an attack (there is a book about this aspect)-so he is still in the denial stage. In his last episode, his “new” doctor would not hear us and reduced his lithium to minimum while upping his Zoloft!!-you can guess what happened. He now has a mountain of financial and legal problems that have all resulted from his attacks.
I can tell you that the enviroment contributes to his disease. He does much better when he is in an environment when he isn’t faced with comparisons of success and accomplishment that most of us deal with each day. Our loved one has moved far away to a very low stress, low key enviroment and has been doing well the past few months. He wants to be left alone, and we are honoring that desire. We hope, we pray, we love him from afar
Hya, I receive you e’mails daily and I when I got todays I couldn’t believe what this idiot had said. Why shouldn’t those of us with bp be allowed to lead a normal life? Sounds like this person is on the same group who’d tell an expectant mother to abort as the child will have downs or something and therefore not have a ‘normal life’, rediculous. How dare he/she.
DEAR DAVID,
WHY DO YOU DEFEND YOURSELF TO PEOPLE WHO DOWN YOU?WHAT PEOPLE ARE AFFRAID OF NOR DO THEY UNDERSTAND,THEY CRITICIZE.
I HAVE SEVERE BP#1 AND LET ME TELL YOU,I GO OFF SOMETIMES ON PEOPLE FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THEY WERE THE ONES I CHOSE TO LASH OUT AT.YOU ARE DOING A GOOD THING BY KEEPING ME INFORMED OF THINGS I AM YET TO EXPERIENCE.SO TO THOSE WHO DOUBT,DON’T UNDERSTAND,SHUT YOUR MOUTHS,GET A CLUE,DO SOME HOMEWORK.UNTIL YOU HAVE WALKED A MILE IN OUR SHOES KEEP YOU OPINIONS AND BAD COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.WE ARE SICKBUT YA KNOW WHAT,JEALOUSY IS A SICKNESS TOO.AND I THINK THAT THERE ARE ALOT OF JEALOUS PEOPLE MAKING COMMENTS TO YOU DAVID.BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T THINK TO DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave,
I think you should get someone else to respond to people who write you negative comments. You are defending yourself for no reason. If this person dosen’t believe you he can simply not read your stuff. Your to emotional because of all your have been through with your own personal experiences. Let go. Good luck to the person who knocked you. I hope he gets help A.S.A.P.
It sounds like the writer is having a depressive episode right now – and a bad one! My fiance is bipolar ( is so far only diagnosed with PTSD and being depressive but I can see a lot more sides! ) and certainly the doomsday scenario has hit us at the moment: He left 2 weeks ago without explanation and I have not heard from him since. He does not answer calls,texts or e-mails and left a trail of debts and a devastated child.He clearly wants to be on his own right now and I am trying to stay positive. Your e-mails and newsletters certainly DO help me in the way that I am not panicking (as I did before when the same happened ) and try to be calm. Thanks for all the work you are putting in! God bless. Crissie
We have to feel sorry for that man, he is struggling with the fact either he or a loved is suffering from bipolar. He is acting like a child attacking David the one person who can help him deal with this illness. It’s a cry for help, he should go back and read those e-mails this time without the anger,pain,hurt or the helplessness that he feels, sir David is a god-send to all of us i don’t know what we would do if david stopped his e-mails Keep up the great work you are doing.
david i dont think you mislead folk you state at the beginning you are just giving info as you have alot of experience with your mum and giving people hope if they dont think theyll get better thats a lost cause but its possible to get better so dont worry people always knock others why i dont know
Thanks for the email David. It sounds like this is a bipolar person without a plan and a whole lot of negative thinking…..
You just keep up the wonderful job you do of helping people who want your information and want to learn a better way of dealing with bipolar and they maybe looking for hope through your classes and news letters..
I thank God for your website and emails.
God bless you.
there is always going to be someone who is a nay sayer. Instead he should heed what applies and disregard the rest
Hi Dave
I am wondering why you even responded to this e-mail?
I liked that poem so much,Donna…thanks for sharing it…
Dave ,you support so many people…and I know that you have seen alot of people thru the day….why should you in turn;not be able to share a concern you have about your own day with us?
Dave,
Please keep up the wonderful work you do. Since I signed in for your e-mails I have never felt so normal. And I think normal is over rated any way. I enjoy being special, unique and wonderful! I have been medicated for 14 years and the last 4 have been very stable with the right combo of meds and therapy. I have a good marraige and a wonderfully trying 2yr old. Life is great even if it is throwing a curve ball at you from time to time. And I can honestly say that has not always been my outlook. Before proper meds I tried to commit suicide more times than I can count. Hospitalized to institutions, state ordered, also. I’ve had sutures on my wrist, stomach pumped and many loved ones showing up at the right time to keep me with them. This disorder is real, it is very serious and we cannot face it alone. We need the help of family, friends and people like you who believe in us. For anyone to say any different is someone who needs help but won’t admit it or are very uneducated to this disorder.
Your help with understanding the disorder, the support you offer for the families/friends, and the general over-all care you give is what helps us all. I wish there were thousands more like you out there!
Thank you for all you do! Ronda
It seems at first that this is a repeat of another letter that was describing the persons attack on your efforts to help others. But I am guessing each time it is different. If this happens to be another of the same subject then there must be more than one person that you report on who has done this.
I have read several of the responses and have noted you do get a lot of support and that in itself is good. I can’t say that you are able to help me much as my sister lives in another state and she is in the company of her mom. She is at the bottom of the list of abilities to do anything. Being a dialasys patient three days a week limits her strength greatly. So she doesn’t get around very much unless others are able to take her around.
She’s never been able to be normal to work a steady job. Only a volunteer part-time when she is the closest to normal, and that was a long time ago now. Things like stuffing envelopes, and a little art work that the church has kindly allowed to be used for their stationary decorations. She doesn’t get paid for anything that she has done in that regard.
So that is her status and it won’t change for the better. She is not on lithium any more, as it caused her kidney’s to calcify after 20 some years. That’s why she is on dialasys. So that’s a calculated risk the drs. took to keep her from the ‘suicidal’ thoughts at the time. It was one or the other and neither was preferred, but that was considered the lesser of two ways to treat the condition at the time.
She has to take expensive meds. that the insurance will pay for, but now the insurance won’t pay for her bathing, that has to be paid out of pocket for her on a weekly basis. Those are just a few of the things that she has to go through . If any can identify with that they will know the difference. Thanks.
I read your articles and am a Psychiatric RN specializing with teens with mental illnesses. I am the parent of a bipolar young adult. Stability is hard to see in her. You have always said this is a serious disoder that can be treated. My daughter won’t stay on meds and has frequent mood swings. Sour grapes to the letter writer, I think he is in the midst of dealing with a bipolar person and is so frustrated that he attacked a safe person, you. I understand that frustration because of my child. It is important to remember there is hope but they have to want help for anything to work. Keep up the good fight and feel the pain of the letter writer.
Dave,
Maybe it would be easier on you if you can remember that this is his disorder speaking. The attack wasn’t intentionally pointed at you but frustration with his experience with his disorder.
It is imponrtant that this person learns more about their illiness so that they can get hope. BiPolar disorder is a chemical inbalance of the brain.
If he doen’t like what you are saying maybe if he goes to NAMI.org and learns about his paticular disorder, find a support group like Nami Connection in his area. Knowledge is power and hope.
There is alwaysHOPE sometimes we just don’t see it.
dear david, i have been a nurse for 20+ yrs, also have had a mother with bi-polar disorder that i lived in all of my life, i only could have wished and hoped for someone like you, when i was younger, and bi-polar was just something no one really had, and the problems faced by children and adults were blamed on everything. my mother supposedly went through the (change of life) for 30 yrs, when she had bi-polar, manic depressive disorder. keep up the good work and this person needs to walk a mile in our shoes, and his point of view might change, but for some however the phrase that they will ” just get over it” doesn’t happen in the real world. thanks for all that you do for me, and others. thanks, teresa
David,
“Normal” is something made up so all of us would run to the shrink. There is no such thing as “normal”, we all have some glitches in our personalities. Maybe this person was reading something else and got it confused?
And if you ever have said there was a cure, could you please send it to me, I will keep it mum… I need some desperate help with my 14 year old, diagnosed with bipolar when she was all but 10, but she was born with it, I know, I had to deal with the screaming from seconds after birth to today….
dont let this bother you so much, it obviously has, become feathered and let it roll down your back!
vix 🙂
hey Ellen, dont know if you will come back to read this, but I like you!
I not only have a daughter with BiPolar, but a son with Down Syndrome!
wish there were more like you who think the way you do!
vix 🙂
Hi David,
I am not a doctor and woudn’t even begin to try and diagnose WHAT is wrong with that person. But I’m surprised that you are letting these losers get to you again. This isn’t the first time I’ve read “Shocking attack on me…” in your daily blog. Too many others are happy with your website, but a lot of us get upset to even read about these naysayers.
My idea is not to mention this sort of negative person on these blogs AT ALL. We all know they’re out there, but for the most part we are all positive here. I know it must be hard to ignore them, but please get past that and move on with the excellent work you are doing. Any time spent on negativity is wasted time!!
I’m glad I discovered your website and have been following it for nearly two years.
Block out the negative few and focus on the positive MANY.
Cheers
The only response I can think of is this person read your “ad” describing what you went through with your mother (you know, the loooong letter to introduce your courses), and got discouraged with the fact that, to get “answers,” s/he would have to PAY for the course. And – Dave, your courses are way too expensive for the majority of us (those on Disability, SSI, or retirement) to afford. Perhaps if you lowered your price, or offered, not only a money-back guarantee, periodical payments of a lesser amount – those who would benefit from them COULD manage to pay.
I know when I ordered your Supporters Course, I was in a hypomanic state, and was willing to pay for ANYTHING that would give me answers about my bipolar. But – I didn’t even have time to read it, so gave it to my boyfriend, who didn’t read it, either. I have since sent it to another blogger on this site, who IS getting something out of it. And – by the way- I didn’t charge her.
I feel badly that YOU feel badly when you’re judged to be less than you think of yourself. We ALL get the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” but we keep them to ourselves. It only seems as if you want us to write back and say, “No, Dave, you’re WONDERFUL!” That’s the only reason I can think of that you keep exposing us to the naysayers on your supporters blog. Get over yourself…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Either ask a member of your staff to respond to those type of emails personally or ignore them. I don’t really think it helps any of your readers to hear emails like the one you mentioned today. You’re already highly supported, so of couse, the majority of the readers are going to agree with you. The person sending the email is only seeking attention and going about it the wrong way, I think. You should not be placed on the defense; your purpose is to inform, educate and help.
David you are a shinning light in the darksome night of despair please keep up the work you are doing and be assured that you bring hope and some balance to those seeking to live useful and productive lives. I salute you and wish you well in your’ obvious misson to help those with Bipolar disorder.. Kind regards Stefan Brown
David, my girlfriend (age 30) has bipolar and since I have been with her (4 years) I have seen a dramatic change in her. I think environment has a lot to do with her happiness (her mother is a paranoid schizophrenic so you can imagine what growing up was like for her) and all of her past so-called boyfriends have run scared when she has a down period. But with my support and understanding, along with good medical and psychological care, she has improved greatly. And while there may or may not be a permanent cure for BPD I know from experience that a supportive friend can make all the difference. I have taken the time to learn about BPD and the different ways it manifests itself. I also have two children with ADHD and I believe as a child I had it myself. Anyone who writes letters of that type obviously doesn’t have first hand experience with BPD as so many of us do. Keep up the good work and we will keep reading!
Therapist are often at fault when failing to treat Bipolar as an illness, instead opting for pycho-therapy. Which is a band aide approach to this disorder. The best step your making is to confront Bipolar and get action oriented individuals to both recognize the impact of this on the lives of both those that suffer and people who love them.
You have some great ideas for bi-polar people, which is me. Their are
things you have no clue, you’re not bi-polar, your mother is. Some of
the feedback mail you cause. You can never be in my shoes, and walk
them, or fight the fight I have for 50yrs. You use your mother to much.
How old is she? The last few letters,or emails were about money and
your books, to buy. Most bi-polar’s are on some kind of assistance. My-
self, I was lucky I worked 30yrs. Dave thank you for listening to me.
‘
Dave:
Here you go again! Why do you feel it necessary to share negative (“shocking”) e-mails with us? I don’t think this is the appropriate way to deal with them. As others have suggested, share those e-mails with your staff, friends or other supporters you know. When you publish them in your e-mails, you really don’t do any teaching. All you do, it seems to me, is to seek reassurance that you’re “wonderful” and try to defend yourself. Why are you so insecure?
You should know that you’ll get all kinds of comments on blogs – that’s their nature (not just yours, but political blogs or any blogs).
You may have noticed that, today, while you still have your share of comments that praise you, you have a number of people who feel as I
do – that you shouldn’t share those types of e-mails with us, that you need to get a backbone, and you leave us without a lesson for today.
About a week ago, you posted a similar e-mail, and I commented that you seem to be seeking praise and reassurance and that you seem insecure. The next day you said that this wasn’t the case, and that you
were going to write an e-mail about why you share those negative e-mails.
I’m still waiting to hear what purpose you have for complaining and publishing these “shocking” e-mails. Not everyone is going to agree with you, and your e-mails should not be used to defend yourself. Many people do feel that you over-promote your materials and that they’re too expensive, especially for the group you’re attempting to sell them to. That’s their opinion and they’re entitled to it!
I think the fact that there were more negative comments on this blog should indicate to you that many of us are becoming tired of hearing about negative comments.
The first reaction most people have when they are attacked is to strike back. But that isn’t always the best thing to do, and it can also be the unkind thing to do as well. Suppose that person IS unwell and not of a reasonable state of mind when he wrote it. He comes out of that state only to be hit by your defensive letter. Oh well, that is going to do him a lot of good, isn’t it! He hurts your feelings, you send him spinning in to a new mood swing. (Think yourself lucky it’s only your feelings that can be hurt.)
Look at it this way. You are sane. You can and should think before you act. Maybe he isn’t sane and BP gets in the way of making him think before he acts.
So, write your letter – it will make you feel better – but don’t post it for a couple of days, to give yourself time you’ve cooled off. Still feel like posting it? Do so but look at what you write and how you say it – you may then feel a re-write is necessary. You may have calmed down and feel your prickly defensiveness could be toned down. As it is, you’ve probably fired your gun and there’s no taking back the bullet.
But why would you bother answering him anyway? No way is someone with a set view going to change their mind by you answering. So, why waste your energy in doing so? Why cause yourself heartache in bothering doing something that will make no difference? And you’ll certainly not influence him by patronising as you have done in that letter. (You tell him you feel “sorry” for him? Come on! You know saying THAT isn’t going to open his ears to your point of view! It will close them further. Absolutely no point in saying that. It’s just stabbing back a barb but you are, you should be better than that, I hope.)
Whatever. This is correspondence between him and you. So, why are you sharing this with us? Is there supposed to be some BP lesson in this for us? If there is I don’t get it.
Sorry if I seem sharp, but I think you deserve a sharp poke in the ribs for this particular post.
gianni, you said, “The best step your making is to confront Bipolar and get action oriented individuals to both recognize the impact of this on the lives of both those that suffer and people who love them.”
With respect, I don’t think you have grasped what is the nature of BP when it strikes some people. When some on is manic or hypomanic, they can be a varying states of delusion. What you must realise is that you cannot reason with someone in this state of mind! If they think they are right – and they usually do when in such an episode – you ain’t going to persuade them otherwise! When they come out of that state, by all means tell them what it felt like for you, but there is absolutely no point is saying, “You were very mean to me. That was bad, Don’t do it again…” Why? Because they, in their normal state, didn’t intend to be mean! They will feel bad about it, upset even. IF YOU CRITISE SOMEONE WITH BP FOR DOING SOMETHING THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOU ADD TO THE DESTRUCTION OF THEIR SELF-ESTEEM AND MAY EVEN THROW THEM INTO ANOTHER DEPRESSION. This is quite different from when they are in a state of mind where they are aware of their mood and have some control over it. But you cannot generalise.
Hi David,
I, too, have followed your emails for months now but unlike some people I have actually read them and sent them on to members of my family, so they too can understand what have bipolar is like. I have, many times seen you write in your emails that biploar IS serious but can be treated and with time, the proper meds and therapy, those of us with bipolar disorder can lead basicly “normal” lives and your right, what is normal today? I, myself, has only been diagonsed with bipolar 4 years ago and have not gotten my life back on track as yet but everything takes time to work and because of your emails, I have hope that once again I can become a funcitioning member of my community. I would like to say thank you for show me that I am not the only one the deals with all the crap that comes with having this disoder and that there is hope at the end of the long tunnel I am walking through. God Bless you and your Mom for educating other about bipolar. Hopely the more people learn by mental illhess, the more they will stop judging and start being more understanding (there is hope that will happen).
Now, I know your not a doctor and that you are passing on all that you learned when you were trying to find ways of helping your Mom and understanding the who, what, when, where, and hows of what she was and will always deal with but (sorry for the “but”) I have not seen anything (and maybe I missed it) on the other disorders that can sometimes come along with bipolar and do play a role in treatment, meds, etc. If you have talked about that and I did miss it, please pass that info on to me because I do not just have bipolar but also a few other diorders as well and would like some fresh ideas on how to deal with the whole combo I got goin on in my head.
Please, David, keep up the great work. As I said before, your work gives me hope and educates my family better than I can on this life changing disorder.
Jeannine
P.S. Please excuse the spelling.
To GRAHAM: You are SOOO right. When I had my first nervous breakdown (later diagnosed as manic depression), i was VERY promiscuous, and didn’t even THINK about what that “habit” would have meant to my parents.
My father was angry (to say the least), and I can remember one time, he called me every four-letter word relating to “loose women” that he could, and hurled them at me shortly after I was released from the hospital. I was CRUSHED; my self-esteem was ruined, and, though I was aware at the time of what I had done, being REMINDED of my actions was almost toooo much to bear.
I’m sure there are other situations that the person with bipolar, especially after hospitalization, would like to FORGET; to have them thrown in our faces does NOTHING to help. Better the supporter WAIT until the loved one feels like talking about it, rather than bringing it up to humiliate them.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Personal relationships with family and friends is always the gel that is needed when learning the recovery steps to freedom. Perhaps there is not this ingredient in there loved ones recovery process. I do believe it is the most important one.
The other possibility that is very difficult for family and friends to understand and deal with is if their loved one is not teachable. The inflicted person will be almost impossible to teach and “get” what you and other Recovery Counselors
I think you will agree with me, that in frustration, it is always easy ti play the blame game.
I would really like to stress how important frienships are. Just as you have called out us and we call out to each other throught you. On to our own personall friemds and family, I think we can say we need each other to get well, but we are really the ones that do. Relationships is the mattar and if someone as not improving, let’s help them with that.
Some of us grow up in very loving faming, but let’s remember that there are lthose who haven’t and after our feelings have bee hurt, and we have talk to understand us and God. Maybe we could forgive and may be Consumer out of a group to work with. to be a frien wpray for them and what is on their plate
Dave, keep up all the good work I love you passion.
David
We are not sure if the child that I’m raising is bipolar or not. Due to the time they started treating him he had been taking Concerta which the side effects can mimic bipolar type symptoms. I won’t know now until we get him off of the bipolar meds. I’m using your course for teens only as guidelines and without you I would not have a clue of what to look for and what to do. I find your emails up- lifting, hopeful, and very helpful.
I have gotten more out of your course than I did out of all of the 10 books that I found on bipolar from the so called experts.
Keep up the good work. Some people get up just looking for someone to take their frustrations out on.
Hi David and all BP supporters and readers,
Dave, It is good that we will be experiencing negative comments to test also ourselves how far we are now as BP supporters. We also need to pause a little and know, how strong and weak am I at that very moment , so that by the time I’m needed at least I know where I’m going to strike the right thing.
Hope for all:I like your response and Jamie I also like your word -“don’t sweet the small stuff” and you Graham Nelson: Yes,your words are so sharp but that is good! Challenging !!!! Lorna
This attack is baseless- he claims ‘you give hope to those who are hopeless’ GOOD JOB i would have thougth. Few days ago OPRAH
brougth on 3 very normal peolpe who have bipolar. He read more
and have an open mind.Thanks Dave God will reward u!!!
Hi Dave
Bipolar disorder is a serious problem but I don’t think Dave is giving people false hope because it depends on how you look at the situation. If bipolar is a serious problem does that mean we should not be serious about it. In many ways yes because if somebody cry one can cry with that person or one can try to cheer that person up or be funny about it which can be seen as the opposite but both can have the same effect (can). Ok when it comes to if your mother is real or not. It depends on how one look at it. What is reality? Who are you? Are you a soul? Are you a soul attaches to a body? Do you see your body and soul as one? Are we one with the universe because we are connected to the universe and made out of the same stardust? Are we as human beings separate beings or are we part of one being or one consciousness? The glass is full man. The other half is filled with air. Air has to count for something. Come on.
Hope you have a great day.
Dave,
Your writings are the bright spot of my mornings some days…until I began to read your musings I was feeling quite hopeless being in love with, and engaged to, someone recently diagnosed as bi-polar very late in life. Heck I did not know whether to run losing a bit of myself, muddle on as best I can, or actually try to help even though the therapist seemed to be doing well once she ‘discovered’ the true problem from my observations. I really believe the lady I love merely has a chemical imbalance which we are trying to resolve. Don’t be daunted……..you reinforce that I should not be daunted daily.
I only started working with young adults with mental health issues recently .Dave you articles have helped me to have a better understanding of these issues and has enabled me to work more effectively with these young people so that they can experience a more stable and meaningful life.
Thank you
Dear Dave If you did anything for me you opened my eyes to just how serious and real bipolar disorder actually is. Fortunately or Unfortunately it helped so much to understand the bipolar that my ex fiancee has but it broke us up. He was diagnosed six months ago with bipolar disorder and put on a treatment program, finally I saw hope at the end of the tunnel, I followed your information and sent it to him. i was in this relationship for eight years, and lived in hell and sometimes terror. He was abusive, and very promiscuous. To the end result he finally was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I found every support and information and help group I could find, alot of his behaviours I started to finally understand, the first thing he did was get off the medicines and one night I went over and found another woman in his bed, I finally said no more. I had helped this man make tons of money, own eight homes, and he just let it all go down the tubes, he refused to try and help himself in anyway, and will clearly tell me in rational moments, he knows he is sick, he is a good person, but I am so tired and starting to wear down physically from all the stress. I can’t take anymore, so yes you do not pull any punches, you do not make people think it is a curable disease and I am more aware of bipolar disorder than every Now I know what to watch out for and I know how it affects not only the person who has it but the people who love them. I never at any time heard you say there was a cure, you have said there was a way to live with it, truely I wish I could have helped this person. thank you for all that you taught me. I will still follow your works
Please David. Take no notice….do carry on your good work,
my good wishes David.
GOD BLESS YOU. PAUL D B.
david, i have bipolar and i have 2 children who may also have it, i dont take medication i cope some how, i have got medication im lucky enough to only have to take it when im on a very low day for 2 days then no more it doesnt suit me if i have it to much, obviously that bloke doesnt ready much of your work, keep it up
sue
David, that poor deluded man is certainly attacking the wrong person! However, he can give you only so much grief, and he has to live with himself 24/7–that must be true hades on earth!
Anyway, normal is a variable, even in those who are afflicted with NO mental illnesses; those of us with mental illnesses just have wider ranging variables (I suffer from bipolar disorder and panic disorder and am as stable and happy as anyone else when I take my medication, which is ALWAYS!). Gee, the variables I see in this gentleman’s e-mail seem to jump all over the page to me. What do you think!
Anyway, to quote an old movie, “Don’t let the bastidges wear you down!” I treasure the work you do and the empowerment you give to all of us!
Dear Dave,
I enjoy the daily emails and tips and stories. I’m still struggling with getting stable and don’t have many supporters around me who understand what I go through. So your emails are uplifting for me and some days what makes me feel not so alone. I’m getting teary eyed typing this. I say keep it up and frankly my therapist I see weekly is my misleading facter half the time, trying to change what I tell her into what I’m not really feeling or thinking.
Misty Bailey
Hello Dave,
This is not really a mail to you, as you would know all this. This is for all those who are feeling down with bipolar.
My loved one is also having bipolar, and the experience was definitely very scary. I didn’t think he would stablilize and recover. But we never voiced our fears in front of him.. and kept our belief in God and doctor’s abilities.
He didn’t like taking the prescribed medicines, especially when there were a few side-effects that were affecting his speech and activities. But we insisted that he carry on.. he too carried on reluctantly.. as he was himself scared with what was happening around him (he had psychotic symptoms). Doctor tweaked medicines to counter those side-effects.
Its good to see him recover enough to resume his normal activities. He does say that the medicines are doing him good – keeping him happy, helping him sleep well at night, having better friends than before, in general, he is feeling better than before. He is also not showing any side-effects of the medicines any more.
I wrote all this to let all there know that what Dave is saying is true. It will take time.. It is very important to get the right combination of medicines. The doctor changed medicines quite a few times before getting the right combination. At one point of time he used to take at least 7 different medicines.. all combating different aspects of his disorder. And finally his racy, negative, unhealthy thoughts subsided.. and he started recovering. Now his medicines are down to just 2.
So keep your patience, get a good doctor and you would soon see your loved one recover.
I am so grateful for all the appropriate messages I receive. My beloved fiance has bipolar and we have had some very dark times . Thank you
Dear Dave
My comments:
No 1. This person can not read at all, missunderstand everything
No 2. He cannot reason, how can anybody not have a mother, even if you came out of an egg.
No 3. What is the norm for being normal? Were Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Virginia Woolf, and many more normal or rather, did they lead normal lives? I would think so and remarkable because they all suffered from Bipolar disorder. And so does my sister.
No 4 Thank you David for sharing your experiences and knowledge with us, but most of all your bits and pieces of humor, because that is what us supporters need.
If it is normal to always hurt and criticize then I am glad my sister is not normal,
Let this guy enjoy hir normality.
hey david thats crap i know most of all what u are aiming for is to give support and comfort to ppl w bipolar or ppl w loved ones who have it. that man seems like he has not had any help or maybe u r not the right person to help him or just maybe he is not stable and needs to focus on getting help soon i dont want to give him pity but he maybe he has been through a lot and is jus takig it out on the wron prson
Hi Dave,
I began reading your website over a week ago when I suspected my loved one, who I have know for over 30 years, was possibly bipolar. Imagine my RELIEF when his doctor said exactly what I had come to believe……”I believe you may be bipolar”. It WAS relief! I knew he needed to be taken off of the anti-depressants that were making his episodes more frequent and severe. Thank you soooooooooo much for all the information you supplied me with to make my educated guess. I knew this person I love was not the same man that he becomes during these episodes and I WAS losing myself……..trying to be caretaker 24/7, making excuses for him, giving up MY personal space, struggling to make his family members face reality and fighting my impulses to just walk away and chalk it up to just another “unworkable” relationship. Don’t let any one person take away from your very appreciated work. Maybe they are having an episode! Much appreciation and thanks:)
Dave,
I agree with most of the people here-you do good work, but maybe giving this guy and others like him press is not so good. For the most part, we understand that you’re hurt, but maybe it’s best not to publicize the thoughts of someone who clearly has no understanding. Some of the bipolar people who read this may be rather fragile, and reading these things could set them off.
Just my opinion. Keep up the good work, Dave!
I have to admit that either people do not read or this gentleman does not have a mother as he so clearly puts it.
I have a son who is turning 4 in October and we have been living with the knowledge that he is Bipolar for the last year. I have had him on medication and taken him off again. This decision was based on my own feelings that he is too young to be messing around with the chemical processes of the brain, and yes the was an informed decision.
We have made drastic lifestyle changes and this includes diet and living environment, there are still off days, but few and far between. I do not get chance to read you mails everytime they are sent, but have them saved in a folder and read when time premits.
Thank you for giving hope and encouragement to those who live daily with the struggle. This comes not only from me and my family, but from my son’s teachers as well. We really find all the tips and information to be the greatest help.
I have had days in the past where it feels as if I could leave the house and not return to be able to keep my sanity and then I try to remember what my son is going through. That is what keeps me going.
Thanks once again and to this gentleman, please seek help, you could have a better life.
I don’t care if someone is using my name but for the sake of the gods of literacy please pretend to write like I do, not the babble that appears to be posted by someone else…
FIRST & formost you call it:
“A Bi-polar attack.”
Shows your contempt for those of us with this labele, thus you should F@@@ off back under the Rock from wence you came with your psychiatrist & Drug cartel Troglidite buddies.
Yes ALL those who benifit from psychiatry, the diabolical FRAUDULENT trade it is…
Proffessors of Psychiatry in the US have informed me via E-Mail:
“Bi-Polar does NOT make one insane.”
So what do you with your learned STUPIDTY & antaganistic ways mean by BP attack?
BP is a great Gift, a Gift of FAR superiour Mental & psychial POWER.
AS ALL know, the Disorder is installed via the psych…
Seems we are very dangerous, for Tens of Millions of us have been Killed, many more mearly Destroyed…
It cannot be “Genetic” for in Germany in WWII they killed 98% or more of us, we still occour in Germany. It is an environment thing. ALL R created equal…
Secondly:
ALL psychiatric “treatments are PROVEN to CAUSE Brain Damage which manifests in the behaviours described in the psych. Bibls the DSM.
Fancy that, their Bible describes their Drug side effects. Thus they Know how the Drugs work, & what they do, also how it does it!
Thirdly Professors of psych. can find:
“No psych. treatment Virgins with BP.”
Thus they must ALL be like me. Nearly Kiled with “medication,” then “diagnosed.”
Thus the disorder is entirly Iatrogenic Via Polypharmacy….
The psychiatric trade has not a leg to stand on. NO Science NOR Medicine backs ANY they do. Merely PROVES it to CAUSE that which it is Supposed to treat…
I REST MY CASE.
Can anyone tell me if they have gone through the criminal courts to stop terroristic threats and other sociopathic behavior including libel and slander (that you poisoned them with their meds because they had a side effect which they continue to tell anyone who will listen and believe them years later) that is all false accusations.
Does the criminal court make them take their meds?
Maybe you can touch on this David. The Mental Health court doesn’t do too much neither does the court for protection orders.
Troy – you sound like you need treatment very badly. It must be painful to live in such an angry world and full of irrational beliefs and delusions.
lol rulingMy only complaint is people who act like bipolar is all bad. In a way it is magical to be lucky enough to even have it. Who would have known. 🙂 At least I have it. What I really don’t like though relates to what not to tell someone with bipolar. I heard the worst false belief that I know I don’t like. It wasn’t directed towards me, but that guy actually thinks for some reason that if something happens to “you” (you in general) that it’s only because you “let” it! If that was true than this guy isn’t so human because he somehow has the power to just not let annnything effect him. I guess the whole world-effect he has the control of letting it effect him… I think people could work on things not effecting them as much but to somehow suddenly think, “I won’t let this…” and it’s everyone’s fault who is effected because… they let it. That’s crappy.
I don’t know how to check for any replies. I vent since I like it and it might help in a weird way of a subject bring-up. People have to have that weird belief. I then overeggagerated it to be like if people have PTSD because they “let” themselves get it. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just that I’ve heard that PTSD has triggers that obviously would effect how “you” are doing. I was mad this morning.