mosDavid,
You are definitely right. I think people who read your blogs on a regular basis, as I do, would know that you say plenty of times how you aren’t a doctor, etc. I was told by my family doctor that I was bi polar II upon coming to see him after about a year of racing thoughts, little to no sleep, and vomiting each and every morning. I went on so long I began to not mind vomiting so much. That’s just awful but it’s true. I have recently started to see a therapist and they got permisson to obtain my medical records. Come to find out, the doctor didn’t even record in my records that I was bi polor. However, he’s treating me with 400mg of Seroquel and told me that I was bi polor and that I could blame it on my genetics. I have also told him I have had vivid thoughts of suicide and he simply said when I felt that way to take an extra Seroquel. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t feel he’s a good doctor and the way my insurance is I would have to pay a big deductible to see a psychiatrist and I don’t have that. What type of doctor should I see if not a psychiatrist? I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I can go from doctor to doctor but I don’t have the money just to try them all out. It’s so frustrating because I know my treatment could be better. The Seroquel has helped but I feel as it’s just masking emotions. I can no longer get very happy as before. It’s so easy to just find myself depressed most of the time. I try my best to have a set schedule and I do well with it, but something still seems a little off in my mind. I think a compiled list of doctors would be great. Maybe have people write in that have good doctors so some others may know where to start. Maybe there is one in my state. Thanks for your blog everyday. I have learned so much from you.

Hi Dave,
You know I always say if we could make stupid people go away. I am no brainiac, can’t spell, and even I know if I do not like one doctor, there happens to be several more to choose from.You have to want it to get it. Dave my doctors know me and that bipo me, my daughters doctors as well, they will pause a session and turn that bipo me into a balless coward. My doc I have had for years, my daughters doc, did not help her, I asked one that I thought was effective with a different daughter, to take on my Trina, called him up and said I was unhappy with Trina’s current doc and just asked him to take her as a patient. He is a very good doctor. You have to want it to get it. Dave thanks for all your help, time, education. My daughter could not be with us and I would most likely been shot if that happened, or in jail, I would go to the thing that woke up her beast and killed them all. Please do not ever doubt yourself, you have made such a profound impact on my life. Dave you are real people and you deserve much love and respect. You have that from me,
Take care,
Karen, Ca.

how can you help someone who doesn’t want the help? Dave, this guy attacked you because he needed to blame someone for his own denial and failures. If he is not willing to take his meds, stay away from drugs and alcohol then he is only hurting himself in the long run. Will he still be blaming someone when his thoughts turn to suicide or perhaps when it is to late? Probably so because he won’t let himself see his own failures.

You do a wonderful job Dave, God love you for all the help you give us bipolars. I am so glad I found you and your site when I was first was diagnosed about 6 months ago. I am still struggling but know enough that I have to take my meds, go to my appointments and read your emails. You help get me thru the days.

No, of course YOU’RE not the fool, David. But your accuser isn’t necessarily a fool, either. It’s just his logic may seem queer. i suspect he’s looking for ways to avoid feeling even worse about himself than he does already. He avoids that by “finding” someone else (not just his doctor, but also you!) to blame for things that he does. This may seem unfair (to you and the doc) but he could be too far down already to pull himself up by the boot straps. So, it all makes good sense for him to blame others for his own errors because his self image is probably in the pits already and he couldn’t bare to think any worse of himself. Why not do the right thing instead? Save a lot of heart ache, wouldn’t it? Yeah it would but remember, when people are too low, they often can’t find the motivation to do anything for themselves. (The deeply depressed often have so little energy or motivation they are quite safe from suicide! It’s when they start coming out of it that they are at risk.) And if their self image is too low, they don’t think they are worth saving anyway! THAT is another reason why they would criticise you and their docs – they don’t want you to save them! They don’t want the agony of their lives being extended. Yet, at the same time, they either can’t find the energy to check out, or they may fear the process of checking out even though being dead does not.

Don’t give all the credit to the psychiatrists. They are not all ‘good.’ It takes a lot of time to ‘weed out’ the good from the bad. And, there are more bad than there are good. Psychiatrity is experimental medicine. The doctors just don’t know which medication is the best for which person. They often have to try many different doses and combinations, and still they don’t get it right. Plan on being a little rat or a guinea pig. They have problem with the correct diagnosis and then getting the correct medication, not only that is effective, but doesn’t cause side effects that aren’t bearable. Cetainly, a patient not being completely open with the doctor about use of non-prescribed drugs and too much alcohol can interfere with the effectiveness of the psych drugs. But, a lot of the blame goes with the psychiatrist, achieving the proper diagnosis and giving the proper medication. I have had over six different psychiatrists and have had over four different diagnosis and have been prescribed practically every SSRI, several MAOI’s. It has been so frustrating, and I have TRIED so hard to be truthful with the psychiatrist. It is not my fault, with the exception of suicidal thoughts that I don’t communicate regualarly to the psychiatrist. Everytime I try suicide, the doctor tells me to find a new psychiatrist. Other than that, it not has been my fault. Suicide is just a symptom of my illness. Kerrie

Hi Dave,
Please do not give up on all of us that read your emails each day. It has been so helpful for me in dealing with my daughter’s Bipolar Disorder!
You never have pretended to be a doctor but you have worked very hard in your research-articles and sharing it with all of us, i for one have learned so much from you as i’m sure other’s have also. You will always get negative feedback, don’t give up your doing a great job and i do thank you for sharing your information with me!

Dave – before I add my “two cents worth” to your EXCELLENT email this morning – I want to take this opportunity to THANK YOU for your DEDICATION to us bipolars and our supporters. You write us EVERY day, without exception – kinda like “Dear Abby” – and ALWAYS with some wise and/or experienced comments. I don’t see how you find the time to put forth this effort, and to have something NEW every time. I agree with one blogger that you “might” be a little “hypomanic,” what with your NON-competitive body building and always going to the gym. But, hey, if that’s what “rings your bell,” then keep on keeping on!! And – you treat us people with bipolar disorder like INTELLIGENT people, able to understand and live by your useful information. So – THANK YOU again for your heroic efforts on our behalf. You are truly an INSPIRATION to me, at leastl, and I never miss an email (except when I’m overloaded on my AOL mailbox!). You have helped me soooo much with this opportunity to “vent” on your blog every day; it’s my “diary,” and I almost wish you kept an archive where I could go and see how I’ve grown since reading your emails. Don’t give up on us – a few bad apples don’t spoil the whole bunch!

As to “bad” doctors. A doctor can only help you if you WANT him/her to. I’ve kept the fact of my past use of marijuana from my psychiatrist and therapist, as, at the time, I didn’t think they HAD to know. It didn’t seem to interfere with my meds, and I didn’t go “crazy” off “reefer madness,” so, what the heck.

However, I QUIT weed 9 months ago, and don’t miss it. I quit drinking in 1999, because I KNEW it WOULD interfere with my new antipsychotic medications. Any bipolar person, in order to remain stable, HAS to give up bad habits and be honest with their shrink AND therapist. Yes – it WAS hard to give up my “vices,” but remaining “highly functional” was the MOST important thing in my life.

Although I’m having a really hard time financially, and may lose my condo, as well as having a humongous debt to the IRS, and a couple of semi-serious physical health problems, I’m maintained by a treatment plan. Anyone who makes up their mind to live as “normal” a life as possible – including peaceful interpersonal relationships – HAS to take their meds as prescribed; have a regular sleep/wake schedule; visit their doctors and therapists as assigned; and all the other things that go along with being “well.”

The doctor CAN’T make you well; unfortunately, there’s NO cure for bipolar disorder. But – if you WORK with your doctor, and follow his/her advice TO THE LETTER (and being bipolar IS a lifestyle that requires WORK), you’ll feel MUCH better about yourself, and you’ll find getting along with other people to be VERY productive.

BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. Please pray for Susan as she goes through this very hard time. And save a little prayer for me as I navigate the legal/medical crises I’m going through. Thank you.

suzzanne said, ” …But – if you WORK with your doctor, and follow his/her advice TO THE LETTER …”

I think we must be more circumspect than that, and not just accept what the doctor says at face value. Docs are human (altho’ some of them think they are Deity!) and humans can make mistakes. Indeed, some of them make a lot of mistakes, especially those who think they are smarter than they are! To illustrate the point … my local Health Authority went through a few year period of having to employ locum pDocs. I’ve had 6 pDocs in about 2 years! Two of them in particular gave conflicting advice. So, whose “letter” should I follow? Ummmm … tricky one, that!

Hope you all are careful selecting your psychiatrists, reading the prescription warnings, side effects, etc. Sometimes doctors are not aware of side affects or counter-reactions and you need to be on top of it. Sometimes the pharmacy will catch an error, but not always. I almost had a PCP prescribe methadone with an MAOI, which would have been fatal. I had to tell him that, and ever since though, he has been looking every drug up for me before he writes the script! So, goes to show you, even doctors are not perfect and they can make fatal errors. Very Frightening…and they are the ones making the BIG BUCKS….

Lil Red.
I agree, that WHEN we can we should try to take responsibility to get meds changed if they are not working. But I know some people who have had what seem to be the whole gambit of meds. and different pDocs, and none of these changes seem to have helped make the condition better. (On one occasion, the guy told me it had made things worse, so worse he’d taken to self med with booze!!! Yeah, that really must have helped!! [I’m being factitious, if anyone didn’t spot it!] But he was desperate. I don’t know if he is still alive.

Ridiculous – if you don’t follow your meds, how can you get better? I am no medical man, but would not be dumb enough to mix booze with any prescription. you just cannot tell some people….

Steve said, “I am no medical man, but would not be dumb enough to mix booze with any prescription. you just cannot tell some people….”

Given you have said you would NOT be so dumb, I assume you are not someone with BP. Right? In that case, you don’t know what it feels like to have BP. You won’t understand the incessant, unrelenting anguish and agony of a BP depression. The opain is with you all day; you cry, you can’t talk to people and look them in the eye, if you are taken outfor a walk you see nothing becauses your mind is in a fog and all you look at anyway is the ground… How bad? People tell you, “it won’t last …” but it feels like (borrowing a line from a song)”travelling alone” in an unlite “that gets smaller the further in you go.” How bad can it be to make around 20% of people with BP to kill themselves? If the CIA could bottle a deep BP depression they’d not need “waterboarding”!

So, the depressed BP person wouldn’t feel like that if they took their meds? Well, how about if they feel that way BECAUSE they take their meds?! Before their pDoc changed their meds, their moods were not in control – up and down, up and down, moving from depression into mania. BUT AT LEAST THE MANIA FELT NICE. IT WAS A COMFORTING RELIEF AFTER THE DEPRESSION. And then the pDoc changes the medication because the mood swings are not, s/he s ays, healthy. And the result is that the mood swings stop … but leave you in a permanent state of depression! You tell the pDoc but the pDoc says this is what you need – no mood swings! And so there is a new cycle – no longer one of pain followed by euphoria by pain by euphoria by pain by euphoria, and so on. Now, all there is is pain. No euphoria to look forward to. But the pDoc is the specialist! The pDoc says this is the right thing to do. The pDoc says the medication is working as it should. The pDoc says keep on taking them, we’re making progress? PROGRESS??? THAT is progress???

That’s how it’s been for the guy. From really bad mood swings then medication that does what medication supposed to do and iron out the mood swings, and leaving him in a state of perpetual depression and all that means.

So, he wants to feel good again! He wants to feel like he did before, when the Sun on his skin felt good, when the colours of the flowers look more vibrant, when he could work and work, or write and write, for hours on end, produce or do so much more in an hour that would take most people a whole day. he wants to be the joy at the centre of a party, to be fun to be with, to be happy being the centre of attention, to have the clarity of mind when the fog clears around a mountain top you’re on and you can see for hundreds of miles …

And then, the pDoc give you medicine that stips you from ever feeling that good again, makes you live in the perpetual state of gloom, doom and despair … and thoughts of suicide ….

…. and you think, Steve, that someone in such a state is dumb to stop taking their meds? The sanest thing he can do is stop taking the meds because they are killing him. The next sanest thing he can do is get a new doctor but …. he’s so depressed and then, so devoid of any motivation to do anything, so crushed of spirit or desire to save himself, it’s as much as he can do to say “hello” let alone speak a sentence! And where are the Supporters to drag him through, to take him to a new pDoc? Long gone! THEY couldn’t live with him when he was manic or depressed. THEY couldn’t live with the BP!!! Even though THEY didn’t have it.

So, he stays with the same pDoc who keeps telling him everything is fine, that he should stick with the meds. By now he is so completely crushed he can’t assert himself, and buckes to the pDoc’s orders … take the meds, take the meds, take the meds … so he does. Back home he finds a bottle. Whisky perhaps. Maybe Jack Daniels. Who cares? He doesn’t. It’s there, it’s booze, he drinks it. And guess what? He feels better! He feels better than he’s done in months, let alone weeks!! Do, he drinks some more. And so it goes on.

No, this isn’t a picture of me, but it’s real. IT has happened to a guy I know and I don’t imagine for a moment he is the only one like that.

You see, Steve, it’s easy when you are of a sane mind, when you don;’t have to live with BP, to apply the logic of a sane mind. It’s not so easy, not even so logical, to do the same when you are are drenched with Bipolar Disorder. You will be very be able to truly help someone with BP unless you try to understand what they feel, why they do what they do – short, to learn to be more empathetic. If you can’t do that, don’t be a Supporter because there is one thing worse for someone with BP than having no support – it’s being supported by someone who hasn’t the first notion of what it’s like to be BP. Really. This is truly a case where having nothing can sometimes be better than having something.

I hope you are not offended by what I have written, Steve – it is not meant to be an attack on you. I have tried, as best I can, within the limits of my grasp of the English language and its inadequate capacity to represent what emotions feel like, to help you understand just a little of what it’s like to have BP, and to understand why we with it can behave the way we do.

I am not thankful to any Deity for having BP. If I have anything to be thankful for it is that I am not in such a bad state as that guy I know, who is probably dead by now anyway. I am also pleased that I find opportunities as these to help some supporters to have a glimpse of the logic that someone with BP may employ, and of why they think the way they do. But while I don’t have a full experienced of the guy I have spoken about I have a realisation that it could happen to me. My pDoc wants my mood swings eliminated. So do I. But her goal is to have me back into the state I was before this kicked off in more recent times, and that was the perpetual state of a Dysthymic depression. Dysthymia may only be a low level depression but it’s as mild as the Chinese Water Torture – like a never ending supply of tiny drops of water, splashing on your head. After a long while, it breaks you down. So, I have that to look forward to and I’m really thrilled about it …

(Sorry I’ve gone on so long folks – I’m a bit hypo to mixed today and anyway, I felt this needed to be said.)

Hi David
You are to be commended on all the time and work you put out on bipolar. It covers so much area. Without your to so many short cuts we wouldn’t have much of a chance, it would take to long to do all this research ourselves and everything needs to be addressed now. We are trying to help our son who has had this now for 15 yrs or so and we new nothing about bipolar until about 2 months ago when just by accidentally the wife ran across your web site or we probably still wouldn’t know about bipolar. Thanks to you we have alot of questions answered that have been puzzeling us for many yrs. THANKYOU SOOO MUCH
gary and wendy

HelenM.

Your note reminds me of the medical advice given by a nurse for my Dad. Poor Dad was in a dreadful state because he had Cardio-vascular Dementia. He was in his 90’s and rapidly heading for Heaven (we hope!) The nurse said he shouldn’t have sweets (candy) even though he liked them because it was bad for his diabetes …

Good “medical advice” isn’t the same as “common sense”, is it!

I hope you find a reasonable measure of comfort, Helen, so you stick around a little longer … if only to confound those doctors!!! 8¬D