Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

I’m sure you’ve read about people who have started off with not much in life, or had really bad starts in life, but rose above their bad backgrounds to become successful in spite of them? Well, it’s like the same thing can happen with bipolar disorder. Or, at least, specifically, getting the diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

How come one person can get the diagnosis of bipolar disorder and never seem to rise above
it…Learning how to manage it…Becoming stable…Becoming high-functioning…Becoming productive…Becoming happy…Becoming successful.

While another person with the same diagnosis of bipolar disorder never seems to rise above it…Never learning how to manage it…Going from episode to episode…Never becoming high functioning…Never becoming stable…Never becoming productive…Never becoming happy…Never becoming successful.

What’s the difference?

See…First you get the diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and then you have to ask yourselves: Where do we go from here? And then it’s basically up to you and your loved one. They can choose to be in denial, for one thing. And that will cause them to fail at stability. In other words…They can deny that they even have bipolar disorder. They can say that the doctor/psychiatrist is wrong about them.

Or they might take the medication until they feel better, and then believe that they’re “cured…” And then want to stop their medication. That’s a form of denial, too. A very dangerous form. Because if they stop their medication, they’ll go into a bipolar episode.

Maybe not right away, because the medication may stay in their system for a while, but it will happen. Because one of the things about bipolar disorder is that there is NO cure for it at the moment. (so even though they “feel better,” they are NOT cured). But there IS treatment. And treatment consists of medication and therapy.

But they need to stay on that medication so they continue to feel better and so that their mood swings are regulated and they stay out of bipolar episodes. Without that medication, that just isn’t going to happen.

And they will fail at their efforts at stability. Pure and simple. But the person who continues to take their medication and comply with treatment, WILL succeed at stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews660/

DSM-IV insufficient for bipolar disorder diagnosis
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Kraepelin distinctions back in favor
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Pregnant smoking may have mood consequences for offspring
DO> Important information if you want to have children.

Imaging may unlock new mental illness diagnosis options
DO> Good information for you to know.

Ore. diabetic refused insulin, civilly committed
DO> This man’s decision will shock you.

Eye movement test to check for psychiatric disorders wins award
DO> Don’t you think this is a deserving award?

Mixed state impedes remission in bipolar depression
DO> Don’t you think this is an important study?

Bipolar risk markers identified in depressed ADHD children
DO> Important information, especially if you have children.

Manic episodes worsen clinical insight
DO> This study gives good information for you.

Substance abuse linked to bipolar suicide risk
DO> Startling statistic, don’t you agree?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews660/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I recently was asked this question: “Which is more important, to be right or to be happy?” I thought about this question because of this situation: A friend of mine from the gym was talking to me about his relationship with his girlfriend. See, they keep getting into these fights, and he
just doesn’t understand why they keep getting into them. A small misunderstanding can turn into the biggest fight for them!

So he was telling me about some of the things they have fought over, and you know what? I agree with him! I wouldn’t understand how it happened, either. Except for one thing. I know this guy. I know that he LOVES to be right. And sometimes, if he disagrees with you, he won’t
stop trying to make you admit you’re wrong (whether you really are or not) and give in to him. So I can definitely see how there might be communication problems with his girlfriend and why they would fight so much.

So he asks me, “Which is more important – to be right or to be happy?” Hmmm…. I had to think about that one for all of about 2 seconds! I know a couple who dealt with this same problem, only BOTH of them have bipolar disorder, so it was even harder for them. So they had to come up with something to “fix” their communication because they were fighting all the time, many times because neither of them would give in. Each of them firmly believed that they were right.

So what do you do in that situation? This is what they did: AGREE TO DISAGREE They both decided it was better to be happy than to be right. She even teases him and says things like, “Ok,
you can be right this time!” LOL Agreeing to disagree is all about compromise. If you still feel you have to be right, and/or you won’t stop until the other person “gives in,” like my friend, then you are not going to have good communication. And neither of you is going to be very happy.

Whereas, if you agree to disagree, you can each maintain your feeling that you are right, but you
compromise anyway. This is really important in any relationship, not just one in which one of the people has bipolar disorder.

How would you answer this question if I asked you, “Which is more important – to be right or to be happy?” I think when it’s written out in black and white like that, the answer is obvious. But an unwillingness to compromise, or AGREE TO DISAGREE, is the reason that many people in
bipolar relationships fight so often.

If you agree to disagree, you are showing respect to the other person, and basically telling them that you acknowledge that they have a right to believe what they believe and/or feel what they feel. Which is more important to you? AGREE TO DISAGREE can be such an important
part to good communication. But you have to agree with the philosophy. Then you have to practice it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews659/

Study: One in three teens with bipolar disorder develop substance …
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Affective dimensions aid bipolar disorder diagnosis
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Alcohol use disorders prevalent in bipolar disorder patients
DO> Good information for you to know.

Former Williamsburg firefighter arrested in burglary, assault
DO> You’ll find this man’s story shocking.

Smoking in Pregnancy May Be Tied to Bipolar Disorder in Adult …
DO> Important information if you plan to have children.

NAC amino acid offers a potential therapeutic alternative in …
DO> Don’t you think this is important information?

Bipolar disorder ‘distinct’ from borderline personality disorder
DO> Did you know these differences?

High bipolar medication adherence not elusive
DO> Did you know this could make such a difference?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews659/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Remember when you were in school? Was it a positive or negative experience for you? I hope it was a positive one. Do you still remember your favorite teacher? Why? Because they had some special quality that you admired? Because they made a boring class fun? Because you learned so much from them? These or any number of answers could be the reason why you still remember your favorite teacher.

But I want you to think of being a teacher in a different way today. I want you to think of yourself as a teacher. You are, you know. If you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone
who does, you are teaching every time you go out the door of your home. You teach others what it is like to be someone with a mental illness or to support someone who does. There is an expression: “You teach people how to treat you.”

If you have bipolar disorder and are stable, you will act a certain way. In fact, I know someone who has the disorder, but if you didn’t know better, you’d never know it. That’s stable behavior.
And if you can be like that, you teach people that people that have bipolar disorder can be just as “normal” as they are. You teach them that adversity can be overcome. You teach them that bipolar disorder is NOT a death sentence! You teach them that someone with the disorder can be high functioning. If you have started your own home business, you teach your clients/customers that you are a good business person (in spite of having bipolar disorder).

If you are a supporter, you can teach other supporters. Just by virtue of the fact that you don’t complain about your situation, makes you a good supporter example. You teach them that bipolar disorder can be lived with on a daily basis. You teach them that the disorder doesn’t have to rule your life. You teach them that being a good supporter is possible. You may even teach them some of your methods or strategies for dealing with it.

But in either case, whether you are someone with bipolar disorder or supporting someone who does, you are being a teacher – Because you are teaching them what bipolar disorder looks
like. You are putting a face on the disorder, in other words. And people need to see that to truly understand the disorder. Now, that can be good or bad, depending how you look at it.

If you have it and are stable, you teach people that someone with bipolar disorder can act normally. If you have it but aren’t stable, you paint a different picture. You teach them that it’s a struggle to be stable. Your bipolar behavior may make you stand out. And you may be the only person they know with bipolar disorder, so they will judge all other people with the disorder
by you and your behavior.

Stigma is a horrible thing, and has hurt many people with bipolar disorder. But if you can keep your bipolar behavior positive, you can teach people that you can cope with having it. That anyone can.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews658/

Stroke warning for bipolar patients
DO> Important study, don’t you agree?

Branded Behavioral Health Drugs May Be Constrained on Health …
DO> Important information you need to know.

Exercise interventions may be needed in bipolar patients
DO> Interesting study, don’t you think?

Health insurers can no longer turn away those with pre-existing …
DO> Good information you’ll want to know.

Amanda Bynes’ diagnosis confirmed as schizophrenia and bipolar …
DO> Did you know this was true?

Genetics: Common variants key in psychiatric inheritance
DO> Don’t you think this is an important study?

Smoking during pregnancy may increase risk of bipolar disorder in …
DO> Some very important information if you want to have children.

Comorbid Illnesses Increase Service Use by Bipolar Patients
DO> Do you find this an interesting study?

Affective dimensions aid bipolar disorder diagnosis
DO> I’ll bet you didn’t know this about bipolar.

Comorbid anxiety warns of bipolar psychotherapy need
DO> Does your loved one have this?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews658/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Let me ask you something: Have you ever watched two people playing a game of chess? They’re so serious. Each move is precise. That’s because each move determines the outcome. Just one move can mean the difference between winning or losing the game. Coping and dealing with bipolar disorder is like that. Oh, not that it’s a game by any means. I certainly don’t mean that. It’s more like a war. And a war is made up of battles. Each battle is precisely planned. It’s called STRATEGY. Your strategy, too, determines the outcome…Whether it’s a game of chess or a war. Or your battle with bipolar disorder. And these strategies determine the outcome of your battle.

If you went into a chess game without any strategy, you will lose the game, because I guarantee you that your opponent will be using strategy against you. If you went into a war without any strategy, you would lose that war, because I guarantee you that your enemy will be using strategy against you. And if you’re trying to cope and deal with bipolar disorder without a strategy, you will lose as well. Stability is all about carefully planned moves. And your strategy will determine the outcome. The war against bipolar disorder is a war that you CAN win, though. I know, because my mom has. And I have scores of testimonials from others who have done it as well.

I helped my mom develop her strategies, made up of planning and systems. And each move she makes determines the outcome – her stability. As long as she follows the plans, systems, and strategies, she stays stable. Which she has now, for a long time.

Some of her strategies are:

• getting good sleep
• eating right
• taking her medications
• following a routine
• seeing her doctors and therapist
• avoiding her bipolar triggers
• watching for signs/symptoms of an impending episode

Some supporter strategies would include:

• making sure your loved one takes their medication
• good communication with your loved one
• being supportive and understanding
• keeping a safe, peaceful home environment for your loved one
• avoiding your loved one’s triggers (and helping them to avoid them)
• watching for signs/symptoms of an oncoming episode
• planning in advance what to do if they need to go to the hospital

And remembering that the enemy is NOT your loved one – it’s their bipolar disorder. You may still lose some battles with bipolar disorder – Your loved one may still have setbacks and episodes – But with good strategy, you WILL win the war! Especially if you work together with your loved one towards a common goal (their stability).

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews657/

David Fredette Pens First Poetic Novel, LATENT HEAT
DO> You’ll want to read this book.

Guidance for medication in bipolar depression published
DO> Some good information for you to know.

Survey finds one in 10 had mental or substance abuse problems in …
DO> Interesting survey, don’t you agree?

Bipolar suicide characteristics found
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Impulsivity in bipolar disorder unrelated to substance abuse
DO> Did you know this about bipolar?

The risk of suicidal tendencies of bipolar disorder can identified in …
DO> This information is important to know.

Stroke warning for bipolar patients
DO> Don’t you find this study interesting?

New Mobile App Helps Bipolar Individuals
DO> This news is exciting, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews657/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever seen this commercial for a chocolate candy that is made up of AIR in the middle?
That’s right, just AIR! And they’re marketing this like it’s a desirable thing! Like you’re supposed to want it, and want to pay more for a candy that’s nothing but AIR in the middle! Am I wrong here, or are they just insulting my intelligence, but I don’t think that this is a really good thing here. I think this is an EMPTY thing (just air) that they’re trying to make us believe is something desirable, something we should want and think is really cool. Well, I for one, don’t think it’s really cool. Or desirable. I think it’s a rip-off.

I don’t think in this life that you get something for nothing. I think that “You get what you pay for,” as the saying goes. Like even with bipolar disorder: You get what you “pay for” even with bipolar disorder – in other words, you get what you expect.

Here’s what I’m talking about: Say that you wake up in the morning, and you expect that today is just going to be more of the same, that your loved one is going to be just as bad today as they were yesterday, and there is just no hope. Well, guess what? You get what you pay for! Chances are…Your loved one WILL be just as bad today then as they were yesterday. You’ve kind of “doomed” them to no improvement, because you don’t expect any more from them than that.
And if that’s the way you’re going to be, you’re kind of enabling them. When you enable your loved one, you allow them to continue unacceptable behavior, because you don’t expect any better of them. So why should they even try to do any better if it’s not expected of them? I mean, if you don’t expect it of them, why should they expect it of themselves?

Have you ever heard the expression: “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” It might seem obvious to you, but it’s true. Nothing changes unless you change it. But if you don’t see that anything needs to change, you’re not going to change it. In other words, if everything is going along, and you think that everything’s fine, you won’t see a need for change. That’s how your loved one will be. Yet they may be doing things that are unacceptable to you. They may be doing things like in a bipolar episode that have no consequences to them, so they won’t see any need to change their behavior at all, but these things can really hurt you. And you may be feeling some really bad feelings inside because of this. Some negative feelings that you’re just stuffing.

Feelings like:

• Frustration
• Anger
• Disappointment
• Mistrust
• Loneliness
• Self-Pity
• Resentment
• Guilt
And if you keep stuffing these feelings, well…You “get what you pay for” there, too. In other words, it could make you sick. It will come out in some way. Like give you headaches, stomach aches, body aches, etc. So you have to do something about it. You have to talk to your loved one about their unacceptable behavior, and even set some limits or consequences to their behavior. I know it may be the last thing you really want to do. But still…For your own sake…You have to do it. Or you’re going to get sick, and you don’t want that.

The best thing to do is to wait for a time when they are receptive to you, maybe a time when they are in a good mood, and just openly share your feelings with them. Hopefully, they will hear you and be willing to change and accept what you have to say. At least you have to try.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

If you’re a parent, you know that one of the values you try to teach your children is the value
of sharing. There’s no worse screech to a parent’s ears than to hear the cry of “Mine, mine, mine!” from their children’s voices across the room…To be followed by an inevitable fight that they then have to referee. So…Then must come the lecture about the value of sharing, mustn’t it?
Well…Sharing is an important value, I’m not going to dispute that. But when it comes to bipolar disorder…There are some things that it’s important for your loved one to have…And some things that it’s important for you to have of your own.

For example: It’s very important that you have your own support system. Your loved one does need a good, strong support system if they’re going to learn to manage their bipolar disorder and get better. But for some of the very same reasons that they need one…You need one as well. And for another very important reason as well: Without a good strong support system of your own…
You can very easily suffer from supporter burnout. You just can’t do it all yourself…As much as you might want to…As much as you might be tempted to…As much as you might think you can…As much as you might think you have no choice. You just can’t. You can’t afford to burn out. For your own sake as well as your loved one’s sake.

As a bipolar supporter, it’s just as important that you see to your own needs as much as you see to the needs of your loved one. And one of those needs MUST be the formation of your own support system.

So…Who should be in your support system? Well…It could be your loved one’s treatment team, for one thing. But mostly it should be made up of family and friends who care about you. People who can offer YOU support, as you offer your loved one support as part of their support system.
These people can also be members of your church or synagogue or other place of worship. They could also be members of your bipolar support group. They could even be some of your co-workers with whom you are close, or even your boss, if you are close to them and if they can offer you support. Anyone can be a member of your support system if you want them to be. As long as they can support you if/when you need them to.

But one thing to remember is this: You have to tell the members of your support system how to help you, or else they won’t know how. After all, they aren’t mind readers. They only know what you tell them. So you have to tell them what you need. For example: If you just need someone to talk to about what’s going on with your loved one…You can pick someone for that, and tell them that you just need someone to listen for awhile. Or you might just need a temporary break from
your loved one. So you might need someone from your support system to “spell” you for a little while so you can go somewhere and take a break from the situation. Or you may even need a temporary place to stay for a day or a few days.

But these are all things you need to ask for from the people in your support system. Because they are all people who care about you and want to support you, I’m sure they want to help you out, but you have to tell them specifically what you need.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave