Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

Have you ever thought about the cereal that you prefer? I’m sure you have a preference, like everyone does. Many people even still eat the kind they ate as a child.

There are all kinds: There is hot cereal, like oatmeal or Cream of Wheat. Then there is cold cereal, and that’s where you get into every kind under the sun. With fruit or without fruit…Fruity tasting…Graham cracker-ish…Frosted…Sugary or not…Flakes or not…With almonds…With oats…Chocolate flavored…Or other flavored…Bite sized or regular sized…Made for kids or made for adults…

And now they even push for added vitamins and minerals and even antioxidants and other things
good for your health!

Many times I talk about how eating a healthy diet can help with your loved one’s stability with bipolar disorder, and a good choice in cereal can be a part of a healthy diet.

But, like I was saying earlier, many people still eat the same cereal that they ate as a child. Do you? The point is that many people choose one thing and then stick to it because they hate to change. That’s one of the problems that your loved one may be experiencing with their bipolar disorder.

One of the first things that their therapist will ask them to do is to change. Usually, to change the way they think. Like, the way they approach things. Even the way they look at life.

For example, they may look at life and see it not for the way that it is, but for the way that they would like it to be, and that can cause them all sorts of problems. It can cause them problems not only with their bipolar disorder, but with other things as well.

And especially cause them problems in a relationship. Say they’re in a relationship with you. And they see you not as you really are, but the way that they would like you to be instead.

Well, that’s going to cause problems, because you will undoubtedly let them down, because
you can’t possibly live up to their expectations of you, because you’re not perfect. And this can even lead to fights, or cause them not to communicate with you, or to not tell you how they feel or what they are thinking when their moods change or they are being triggered into a bipolar episode.

But another thing that can happen, whether you have bipolar disorder or whether you are the
supporter to someone who has it, is that you can fall into a rut (like still eating the same cereal you ate as a child).

If this happens, it means that you’ve been doing the same things over and over again for awhile, and you’ve probably been getting the same results, too. And probably not the results you want, either.

That’s the common definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting
different results.

So what can you do about it? Change your routine. Change your cereal, in other words (but that it were that simple). Make some changes in your life, like your loved one’s therapist is asking them to do.

It can even be simple ones. Like…If you normally take your shower in the morning, take it the night before. That way, you can spend more time with your loved one or the children in the morning, or just more time getting yourself ready, or just relaxing with the morning paper or extra cup of coffee, or whatever.

Or…Say you or your loved one have been isolating too much. You can change that routine by adding more days where you spend more time with friends and family, say, by going to lunch or dinner or going out for coffee with them or otherwise just spending time with them.

Can you see how making changes can change your routine and ultimately change your life?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews733/

Suicide attempts in bipolar adolescents more common when ADHD present
DO> This tool might help your loved one.

Student’s gadget could help people with bipolar
DO> Do you think a device like this might help your loved one?

Lithium Still Best Medication for Preventing Bipolar Relapse
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Psychologist, psychiatrist say Barre man not responsible for arson
DO> Do you think he was responsible for what he did?

The recording artist suffers from bipolar disorder and experienced a manic depressive episode at the time. He was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward …
DO> You will feel sympathy for this young man.

Woman accused of throwing children out window ruled danger to herself
DO> Do you agree with the findings?

Mom shares challenges in meeting son’s mental health issues
DO> Things were really hard for this mom, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews733/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I heard a great quote recently (you know how much I like a good quote): “Success is not so much what we have as it is what we are.” I think the best supporters are those who change themselves in relation to the change in things around them.

What I mean is that some people react to their loved one’s bipolar behavior with anger. Others react with quiet resentment. They stuff their feelings.

But, you know, you end up taking your frustration out on those you love the most, and that’s what comes from stuffing your feelings. It will just backfire on you. So you may need to change how you communicate with your loved one.

Anger, resentment, frustration, and stuffing your feelings are all not going to help your situation.
So why do some people not make the necessary changes? Some people just don’t recognize the need to change.

They can see it in their loved one, but not in themselves. These people are not effective supporters, because everyone needs to change from time to time.

We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation. Think about that in relation to your loved one, their bipolar disorder, and you.

If your loved one keeps getting angry and doesn’t do anything to change that, the scenario will always be the same. So, out of desperation, you need to change how you deal with their anger.

In other words, you can’t change your loved one, but you can change yourself in relation to them (and their behavior). That’s changing out of desperation. You really don’t have a choice if your loved one refuses to change.

Or you might be inspired to change. Change makes you a better person, much less a better supporter. It’s when you change for yourself and nobody else.

For example, to keep yourself from getting stressed out over your loved one’s behavior, you might learn stress reduction techniques. That’s changing something, and helping you to be a
better person and supporter. Or practicing relaxation exercises to help you cope with things, that’s another example.

What you need to do is first look at the methods you’re currently using to deal with your loved one and their bipolar behavior. Then ask yourself if they are effective or not effective. If they are effective, then you don’t need to change. But if they aren’t effective, then you do need to change.

It’s kind of like filling in a puzzle. And if something you’re trying isn’t working, you look for another way (another piece to the puzzle). But you also have to have a willingness to change –
Not just blame things on your loved one.

Change is what brings success. So there can be success with bipolar disorder. As long as there is a willingness to change. You can’t expect your loved one to change if you are not first willing to change yourself.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews732/

Attorney: Georgia Officer Had Time to Use Nonlethal Force
DO> What do you think of this statement by witnesses?

Ex-US Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. to be released from prison
DO> Do you think it’s ok that he’s being released early?

Report warns of overprescription for children on Medicaid
DO> You will find this report shocking.

Couple sues Nebraska agency over adoption of troubled boy
DO> Do you think these parents have a good case?

Factory owner diagnosed with bipolar disorder after mass iPhone giveaway
DO> Does this diagnosis surprise you?

Studies from Ohio State University in the Area of Bipolar Disorders Reported (Quality of Care for …
DO> This study makes a good point.

Mother died from paracetamol overdose, inquest hears
DO> Do you think it was her bipolar disorder that made her do it?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews732/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Did you ever make some really great plans that you did a count down for? Like a cruise, or a vacation? You anticipated the day that you would leave, and counted down the days until that final day would come…Just biding your time, so excited that you could hardly contain yourself!

Some days you felt like you just couldn’t wait, that the wait itself was killing you! You just didn’t think you’d have enough patience to wait until it was time to go.

But finally you made the count down and that inevitable day came, and you went on that long-awaited trip or vacation. And, of course, it was worth the wait, wasn’t it?

It’s like a child waiting for Christmas. They even have special calendars for that now, where you can cross off or color in each day as the countdown for another day closer to Christmas passes.
It’s supposed to help you contain your child’s excitement for that great day. But how can it?
Their excitement is just so great!

But at least it helps to give them something visual to show them how many days are left in their count down. Too bad there isn’t something like a count down to bipolar recovery for you and your loved one.

Unfortunately, you have to deal with the day-to-day’s of living with the disorder and just do the best that you can sometimes. It’s a shame that recovery is not more clear-cut for you, like that count down calendar to Christmas is for children.

Unfortunately, things just aren’t that clear-cut when it comes to bipolar disorder. That’s because everybody is different. And also because it’s just the nature of the disorder that it can be so unpredictable.

So even if your loved one’s doctor did explain something of the disorder to you, they had to stick to things in a general way – they couldn’t be too specific.

Although there is more and more research being done every day into bipolar disorder, there are still mostly things that we know in the most general of ways. Again, because everyone is different.

Like we know how medication is supposed to work. But still, different medications affect different people in different ways. And what works great for one person might not work great
for your loved one.

So it’s really best for them to stick to the medication that their doctor or psychiatrist has prescribed for them, because he/she knows them better as an individual. And also, because of the unpredictable nature of things, they need to be monitored with their medication as they go
along, in case their medication, or its dosage, needs to be changed along the way.

Keeping the same doctor or psychiatrist is important for this, as they will get to know your loved one (and you) better and treatment will be more consistent.

Therapy is important for consistency too. And different therapists meet different needs. One person’s therapist won’t necessarily be the best therapist for your loved one, and vice versa.

You need to find a therapist who is best suited for your loved one’s needs, and stick to them.
That way your loved one can build a relationship with them and learn to cope and deal with the issues that surround their bipolar disorder on a consistent basis.

No, unfortunately, there is no count down to recovery, but treatment with medication and therapy will help to insure stability.

Your loved one can also do things that will help to insure their own stability. Things like sticking to a good sleep schedule, eating a healthy diet, exercising, and being productive will help them to do that.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews731/

Marijuana Linked To Manic, Depressive Symptoms
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Parma Heights man who set fire to city hall sentenced to four years in prison
DO> Do you think this sentence is fair?

Georgia woman’s rare reaction to medication caused skin, hair to peel off
DO> You’ll be shocked by this woman’s story.

Supreme Court to weigh impact of disability law on police
DO> Don’t you think the police should pay more attention to this law?

NYCHA looks to boot Bronx widow,
DO> Don’t you feel sorry for this woman?

Recurrence dominates bipolar illness course
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Subthreshold mania signals impending bipolarity in children of bipolar patients
DO> This study makes an important point.

Sleep Loss Tied to Emotional Reactions
DO> This study reveals something very interesting.

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews731/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

Have you ever heard the following expression: “Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.” It’s sort of a humorous way to look at a serious subject. It’s about how you look at life.

Like whether you’re one of those people who are always worrying from day to day. Or if you project from one day to the next what might happen. And especially if you tend to think on the
negative side of things.

Many times, I talk about how you need to be a positive thinker if you’re dealing with bipolar disorder, because it helps you cope with the disorder better. It just helps to look at things in a positive way when you’re dealing with life in general, because so much of it can be negative.

But you don’t have to worry all the time, that’s for sure. If you do, you’re just going to set yourself up for negative things to happen. Because you’re going to be looking for them.

Enough bad things are going to happen in life all by themselves, you don’t have to help them along. To fight them, you have to think and act positively.

For example, when your loved one picks a fight with you, which can be a normal occurrence
when you’re dealing with the rage of a bipolar manic episode, you can either react in a negative
or a positive manner.

If you react in a negative manner, it’s just going to prolong the fight. But if you react in a positive manner, it might just de-escalate your loved one’s behavior.

So what I’m talking about are things that may be inevitable, but that you can do something
about just by changing your attitude and outlook about them.

If you go around expecting bad things to happen, they probably will. You’d be a sort of magnet that bad things will be attracted to. But it can work the opposite way, too.

Like with people. Have you ever noticed that negative people seem to attract other negative people? But that positive people tend to attract other positive people? It is like a magnet sort of thing.

Think of it this way: Your positive attitude can help change a negative situation. Like the example I used of fighting with your loved one.

When your loved one is negative, your being positive can have that positive kind of influence
on them. Who wants to fight with someone who won’t fight back?

Now, I never said that having a positive attitude in the face of a negative situation would be
easy. It isn’t. But it sure gets you further, and with a whole lot less stress. And, hopefully, eventually, it will turn things around for you.

Hopefully, given time, your loved one will even change. Hopefully, they will begin to be more like you. And hopefully, you will begin to experience more positive situations than negative ones.

And, like I said, a lot less stress as a by-product as well. Positive people just seem to be healthier, too. Probably because they have less stress, they are physically healthier.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews730/

Depression Treatment Could Reduce Heart Disease Risk
DO> Important study, don’t you think?

Extreme Rate of Prenatal Alcohol Disorders in Poor
DO> Interesting study, don’t you agree?

Subthreshold Mania May Mean Bipolarity in High-Risk Youth
DO> This study makes an important point.

Bus Driver Accused of Assaulting Special Needs Teen Headed to Trial
DO> What do you think should happen to the bus driver?

Health Check: Video game for bipolar disorder
DO> This can be useful to you if you have a child with bipolar.

Chilling moment cops shot dead mentally disabled man wielding a screwdriver caught on body …
DO> You may find this video shocking.

Rape claim victim committed suicide to avoid ‘shame’ for family
DO> Don’t you feel sorry for this woman?

Parma Heights man who set fire to city hall sentenced to four years in prison
DO> Do you think this sentence is fair?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews730/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Have you ever seen a chameleon? I mean, like in the zoo or something? These things are amazing! They actually change color to adapt to their surroundings! Wouldn’t it be great if we could do that? Oh, I don’t mean change color. LOL I mean, adapt to our surroundings. I think we could get along a whole lot better, don’t you?

It just seems that a lot of times we fight against what’s happening around us. Instead of accepting it (adapting to it). If you could adapt to it instead of fighting it, you’d be more like a chameleon!

In the case of your loved one’s bipolar disorder, I think you’d be happier if you could do that.
Like, there are certain behaviors that come with their bipolar disorder.

For example: Say there are certain things they do when they go into a bipolar episode. Like, for instance…Whenever they get manic, they talk a lot, and they lie. And this usually makes you really mad.

But if you were to be like a chameleon, you could adapt to this instead of getting mad over it.
You could stop reacting to it. You could just accept it.

In other words, you would just know that it’s a pattern. That every time your loved one goes into a manic episode, they’re going to lie. That it’s just a given.

So you just don’t believe what they say when they’re in a manic episode. You don’t have to get mad. You just don’t believe what they say. In other words, you adapt. See? Do you see how it could save a whole lot of heartache on your part?

Here’s another example: Say that every time your loved one goes into a manic episode, they spend money excessively. You’ve noticed this is a pattern. It happens every time.

So instead of letting it continue, you adapt. You ensure that they don’t have access to more
money than you can afford to lose. You limit the amount of cash they have on hand at any given time.

You make sure they don’t have access to the checking and savings accounts. You make sure they don’t have any credit cards and that they don’t have access to yours. That way they can’t spend any money excessively during their manic episodes.

So…You have adapted. You have ensured that your finances are protected in case your loved one goes into a manic episode. See how being a chameleon can help you? By adapting to things, you can change them.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Everybody has good days and bad days. You don’t have to have bipolar disorder to have a bad day. But when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder, the bad days can be really bad. And it can seem like you have more bad days than good days. But that isn’t true.

There are more good days than bad days, generally speaking. It’s just that the bad days are so bad that they overshadow the good days. At least it seems that way, doesn’t it? Sometimes it seems that all you do is go from episode to episode, with barely a break in between.

But that really isn’t true. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Disorders (DSM-V) says that your loved one should only have about four major episodes in their whole lives.

But I know that, for you, there are many more bad bipolar days than just four. Your loved one doesn’t have to be in a full-blown episode for it to be a bad bipolar day. They may just be a bit “off.” Or just be down, or a little sad. Or in a bad mood. Or agitated. Or irritated. Or edgy. Or hyper.

They don’t have to be in an episode to feel those things. But feeling those things can make it a bad day for them (and for you).

So what can you do when you’re faced with a bad bipolar day? Sometimes, on days like that, when a person with bipolar disorder feels a bit down, they’ll just try to sleep it off. Then there’s nothing for you to do. Or if they feel hyper, they might throw that hyperactivity into doing something productive. Then there’s nothing for you to do, either.

However, if they are just sitting in those feelings, they may turn to you for help. One of the biggest things you can do is simply to listen. They may just want to talk about the way they are
feeling, or whatever is on their mind.

Try to be non-judgmental. Listen more than you speak. Don’t interrupt. Use phrases like, “Go on,” or “Tell me more.” Use your body language to indicate that you’re listening – nod your head, or lean into them, for example.

But what about when your loved one doesn’t seem to want your help? What if they are confrontational? What if they pick a fight with you, for example? Well, if they pick a fight with you, first of all, do NOT fight back! This will only escalate their bipolar behavior, and do
nothing to help end the fight. In fact, it will prolong the fight.

The best thing for you to do if your loved one doesn’t want your help is to leave them alone. Let them try to work it out for themselves. Watch them for signs and symptoms of an episode,
however, and if they get worse, get them professional help. Otherwise, just let them know that you are there if they need you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave