Hi,
How are you today?
Happy Fourth of July if you are in the United States.
Hope you have a great day.
If you have problems today, keep looking for a solution, and you will find one.
I am really convinced of this.
There is a great book call the Startup Entrepreneur – which has nothing to do with bipolar disorder, but has to do with starting an organization like a business – but you can still learn a lesson from it.
In the book, the author talks about people like inventors who faced tremendous adversity trying to get whatever they were trying to get done.
The common theme was “when you study the problem over and over again and again and harder, you find a solution eventually.”
I really believe that.
Many people with bipolar disorder don’t focus on the solution, they just kind of focus on the problem and just complain about it.
Sometimes it’s ok to complain, because it’s kind of like therapy, but you have to eventually focus on the solution.
My friend goes to a 12-Step Program, and they have a saying that goes, “When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away.”
That’s kind of what the theme of the book I was telling you about was saying, too.
In other words, if you complain about the problem and do nothing, it won’t get you anywhere.
But if you bounce the problem off other people, maybe you’re still complaining about it (like to your therapist, for example), but you’re actively looking for a solution.
You have to look at all your problems that way.
Like look at your problems with bipolar disorder.
One of the biggest problems I hear supporters complain about is that they can’t get their loved one to take their medications.
Ok, so now you have defined the problem.
That’s Step 1.
Now, you don’t just keep complaining about the problem once you’ve defined it, because then you can’t do anything to solve the problem that way.
Someone said, “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” Well, you don’t want that, do you?
So once you’re defined the problem (whatever it is), you start looking for a solution.
Step 2 (after defining the problem) is to gather information that will help you to solve the
problem.
So let’s look at our example about your loved one not wanting to take their medication.
In this case, why aren’t they taking their meds?
Is it because of the side effects?
Is it because they’re forgetting to take them?
Is it because of how the medication makes them feel?
Step 3 is to think of solutions.
I talk about how you need to be positive about solving your problems and different problem-
solving techniques in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
It is usually best to brainstorm these and write them down.
So let’s stick to our example.
In the case of side effects (which is a common problem), it may be easy to come up with a solution.
You can have your loved one call their doctor and tell him about the side effects, and sometimes
it’s as simple as taking the medication at night instead of during the day or taking it with food.
Or it may mean changing the medication to one with less side effects.
Is the problem that they’re forgetting to take their medication?
You could:
1. Offer to remind them
2. Have them take them at the same time
every day
3. They could take them with their favorite
TV show
4. If you’re on medication too, you could take
them together
5. Etc.
If you need help coming up with solutions to your problems, you can talk to other people; like: other supporters, family, friends, your loved one’s doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist, the pharmacist, a clergy person, a financial expert, etc.
Talk to whoever you think might help you come up with a solution to whatever problem you
are facing.
The point is that you keep looking until you find a solution.
Have you ever faced a problem where you thought there was no solution, but then you found one?
I’d love to hear about it.
What do you think about my 3-Step way of solving problems?
Post responses below
thank you for this suggestion on step by step. sounds like a good plan. going to try . thank you again. i am hanging in there . some days are worse than others. youf riend christine.
Still PUSHIN’ Davo;
Still floggin that dear Horse.
Where is our Debate?
Sorry that’s:
Still floggin’ that Dead Horse.
Here’s how we handle the medication issue. I put them in the medicine container on Sunday night and set them by the coffee pot. This reminds him to take his am pills when he pours that first cup of coffee in the morning and then he sets the alarm on his watch to remind him to take the pm ones. This has worked for years and then neither one of us feels like I am nagging.
this seemed helpful to me…
depression runs in my family (as well as alcoholism), and dealing w/ my brother who is bipolar has been VERY HARD this past year…. he won’t take his meds. cos he likes the “HIGH” better than the even, and to top it off I think he is also drinking again
Guess who is so weak S/He cannot be named.
I smell a quack!
I have a 32 yr old daughter who is bipolar. She had a
weight loss surgery a year ago March. she lost 116 lbs in less then a year. she went through a divorce. has 3 kids,10,12,13. she met a guy before she was divorced and when she moved out he moved in with her. the kids don’t like him. he got her started shooting crank. she finally let me know and i confronted him. he said he would not do it again. she did not go to rehab. I finally found out they were doing it again. I confronted her,she denied it and a few days later her phone # was changed. would not give me the #. He is pushing all of us away from her. she looks almost dead.
she believes everything he tells her.now they are snorting it or smoking it. my grandkids are in that mess. she has a felony from abusing her ex’s daughter. If I call cps she will go to jail. He is a felon also.
I know she will never speak to me again if I report her.
And she will lose her kids. What do I do? I love her but
can’t get her to see past him. He is 33yrs old. has been married 2 other times. His mom is a ex user also.
please help me… She would always forget her meds. she didn’t like them because they made her sleepy.
To GAIL: Your responsibility is to your grandchildren. Your daughter is very sick, and doesn’t realize that she’s self-medicating with the cocaine. You, yourself, can’t help her. BUT – PLEASE call Social Services or Child Protective Services OR the cops – because the kids are being exploited and neglected in the household. It is IMPERATIVE that you do this.
So what if your daughter condemns you for this. You’re not in a popularity contest here. You’re TRYING to save 3 lives, more, if your daughter comes to her senses. But- I’m afraid she will just keep on doing the street drugs until she hits bottom – again.
This is my BEST advice to you; for your grandchildren’s sake – take it.
To GAIL: Your daughter is in a BAD relationship, and if the children are with her in this environment, there’s NOTHING you, yourself, can do to help. Get out and go to Social services (or Child Protective Service) and REPORT your daughter. The kids are in a really BAD place, and you, as their grandmother – HAVE to do this.
Crank, or crack, or whatever substance she’s using, is self-medicating her bipolar, and is VERY unsafe, and will only land her in ANOTHER bad place.
In a situation like this, there are NO winners. You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. But your daughter is sick, and she’s bringing her kids down with her. Stand up for your grandchldren, and get the LAW to take care of the situation. You have no other choice.