Hi,
How do you feel today?
I hope you feel good.
I want to ask you a couple of questions:
How do you feel about the things that you own?
Are they just possessions, things you could easily sell at a yard sale?
Things that you wouldn’t even miss if a robber came in and stole them from you?
Things that you could give away to a charity and not think a thing about it?
Or do they mean something to you?
Something you can’t define?
Oh, not that your possessions own you instead of you owning them, that’s not what I’m saying.
What I’m getting at is that these things probably took you years to obtain, didn’t they?
Some of them are most likely heirlooms, handed down through generations.
Some things you had to save for, took time to get, even had to wait a long time for.
Some things were gifts from other people that you cherish very much.
Some things maybe your children made when they were little and, like the commercial says, are “priceless.”
There are some things you might not miss, but I bet if there were a fire in your home, the majority of things you would miss very much, wouldn’t you? And how do you feel about your house itself?
Is it just a shell? A place to “hang your hat,” so to speak? Just a place to live?
Or is it your HOME? A place that matters very much to you?
How would you feel if you lost it?
What if you had to move somewhere else?
Would you miss your home very much, or would it be easy for you to make the move?
There’s a couple that I know that are facing these very same questions right now.
As are many other people, because of the economy.
Some people are facing foreclosures, and some are even facing bankruptcy, like this couple.
They are facing the loss of their home and their possessions, which took them many years to obtain.
And it’s not their fault, really – it’s not that they’re living a lavish lifestyle or anything; in fact, they live very frugally.
But do you know what they have to say about it?
“This is awful, losing all this. But at least we still have our stability.”
You see, this couple, well, they both have bipolar disorder.
And just like you may have worked so hard for the possessions that you have…
Well, that’s how hard they have worked for the stability that they have.
In my courses/systems, I discuss just how hard you have to work to attain and maintain stability:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
In my courses, I talk about the different elements that make up stability.
Just like the gathering of possessions, it doesn’t happen overnight.
And it takes hard work to do these things.
So stability is hard fought and hard won.
So, like this couple I was talking about who are losing their home and possessions, people who have obtained stability are grateful that they have it.
But like I was saying, just because your loved one may be stable, doesn’t mean it was easy to get that way, does it?
If you are living with a stable loved one, be grateful for it.
If not, be encouraged that someday they may be.
Post responses below
Great post. I can’t remember the last time I was stable for a very long period of time, but I’m able to be supportive to others who are not. I seem to be able to put my instability on the back burner when my daughter (who is also bipolar) needs me.
I learned what is important when I had to leave all but a very few things behind when I brought my daughters to safety from their abusive father. The two things most precious to me were my girls.
Good Morning Dave,
Thanks again for your wonderful example this
morning, I really appreciated it.
Things are going well, I just thank God for
all he has done, and I also want to thank you
for all your wonderful e-mails, I really do
appreciate them and look forward to them each and
every day. God Bless You for all you do to help
people.
Sincerely, Darlene
Yes, it DOES take time and perseverence (plus a GREAT psychiatrist) AND the “right cocktail” to obtain stability. I’ve had a “mental illness” since 1968, and although a lot of water has gone under the dam, I’m still here!
Sure, there were the times when I was hospitalized, or had mini-episodes that were taken care of on a out-patient basis, plus those “times” when things just didn’t “feel right.” But with at least a competent doctor, who prescribes the right medication – and won’t quit until s/he does – “maintaining” oneself with bipolar becomes easier as time goes on.
Although some people’s symptoms DO get worse over time, I am in the BEST place I’ve been in for awhile. This is also including the “mixed episode” I’m in. But – at least my head is clear, and I KNOW what I’m doing, and am able to FUNCTION. I write bills, I cook dinner, I take care of my cats. And, yes, my “house” IS my HOME. I’ve been in so many different places that I had to leave because of an episode, and coming “home” was not possible. I’m holding ON to THIS home for dear life. I have a proposal to my Lender to keep my payments low until I can resume the regular monthly payments. I would surely HATE to foreclose or go bankrupt because of my mortgage.
My Mom spent over 50 years accumulating antique sterling silver place settings for 24, plus serving pieces from the 1800s, to give to me on my wedding, which she did. However, I had allowed the wrong kind of people into my apartment house – and ALL the silver is gone. It WOULD have been the FIRST thing to save in case of a fire – but I’ve learned that it was just “things” (although they can’t be replaced), and I could live without them. Except for my cats, I can’t think of a single thing I would rescue from a fire…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
dave, first i want to thank you for all your emails. of course there are many people losing their worldly possessions. that is why we do good on earth, and build up our mansion in heaven. with bi-polar, things in life are more difficult to us than others. but keeping my eyes on the lord, has saved me so many times, when i have lost everything, but the clothes on my back. sentimental things are never to be replaced, only the memories in our mind make us smile when we think of them. with people losing everything, such as forclosures, fires, and theift. always keep our heavenly father in mind. he can fix everything. love, diane
well dear david
i have a son and he had a bad morning and i did also, he got home around 5 this morning , and he went in a fit and smashed and put fist in wall and then he come after me
,and he was ferice, and he was going to kill this one and that one,and i had to get out of his way.and he upset things all over the floor. and called names.he was just like a wild amianel. so does he have bipolar. help, cause he lost his family over these fits
and he is blaming other people for what he has done
I thank you for your emails…I am right now finding every excuse to use to survive and am sure that even though I have really cool collections, it is just stuff! I have lost everything many times, and even though I survived, part of me have disolved. The only way I can go forward is to just close the door and walk away….
People of this rant;
Do you NOT believe that if David believed he knew ANYTHING, Anything which could be PROVEN effective, he would enter a Dabate online or otherwise?
Of course it takes us a long time to gain Possetions, our “psychiatrists” make shure we are as Unemployable as they are.
Losing his home through a fire was exactly what triggered my boyfriend’s bad episode last year. Moving into a new home only a couple of months ago seems to have (hopefully only temporarily) turned him into a hermit. I have lost count at how many times I have moved house in my life – too many times. 2 in 3 moves were through circumstance and not my choice. I usually adapt easily and quickly, but as I get older I am getting tired of it. A home is the most important foundation in life. I have recently acquired new cats and I love my home, although I wish my man was with me more often. Moving house is always stressful, but if you have settled in a home and become attached to it and then lose it through a bad twist of fate, it can be devastating. A few years ago when I was married, we lived in a beautiful old character house. Then my husband lost his job, went into an episode (I didn’t know what it was then) spent all his money and mine and we lost the house. He wouldn’t admit to having a problem and eventually left me. I moved from the UK to Ireland and lost most of my possessions. All I own is of sentimental value to me and of no interest to anyone else. Apart from my cats, if there was only 1 object to rescue from a fire it would have to be my laptop. Everything is stored on it, lots of photographs, writings, art work, memories, etc. that would be devastating to lose. The worst to lose, is someone’s love. I hope and pray every night that my boyfriend will be with me again.
what are you a mind reader.You hit it right in the nose I have creditors after me no joke . too much things have happened too me to much to fast too quick . I can’t type 4 beans. I’m on medication and the Dr. I was seeing left the clinic I’ve got refills 4 2 months.I’ve recieved a letter telling me that a nyc marchell gonna come take one of everything I own. And tell you the truth I don’t care they can take every thing it was not my fault .Ive been dianosed with bipoler Since the age of 21.who gives a heck nobody!Now I’m 54 years young .Its just too much been on my plate since childhood. you’d write my story you’d probibly make more money than your hussaling people for because of your mother mother I’ve walked in your moms shoes and wrost .Got rest Our moms souls and all my dead sibblings . I have 4 living children all blessed with good paying jobs while I live with my Dog
Thank you David for all your help and also for all the tools you provide for us. I’m bipolar, I know only one thing: I have to be in charge of my bipolar disorder, take time, but it is worth it!
My husband and my sons are great supporters, but for them also take a lot of time to learn how to dial with my mental health issues.
My primary language is Spanish, so please excuse me for my pour Engish skills. I can read and speak very well in your beatiful language but writing isn’t easy for me 🙂
Alexia
How do you feel about the things
that you own?
ANSWER – Well, I had to work hard to get it, but my family have ALWAYS been more important than my possessions…
Are they just possessions, things you
could easily sell at a yard sale?
ANSWER – Most of it – but some of it of sentimental value…
Things that you wouldn’t even miss if
a robber came in and stole them from
you?
ANSWER – Yes, this is true, there are some things that I won’t miss as its been packed in boxes for very long time – due to space shortage…
Things that you could give away to
a charity and not think a thing about
it?
ANSWER – Yes, I have done so already
Or do they mean something to you?
ANSWER – My believe is “if you don’t use it – give it to someone that can”
Something you can’t define?
Oh, not that your possessions own you
instead of you owning them, that’s not
what I’m saying.
What I’m getting at is that these things probably took you years to obtain, didn’t they?
ANSWER: YES, SOME OF IT, BECAUSE I HAD TO START FROM SCRATCH ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO…
Some of them are most likely heirlooms,
handed down through generations.
ANSWER: YES – I HAVE SOME
Some things you had to save for, took
time to get, even had to wait a long
time for.
ANSWER: YES THIS IS SO TRUE
Some things were gifts from other
people that you cherish very much.
ANSWER: VERY, VERY TRUE
Some things maybe your children
made when they were little and, like
the commercial says, are “priceless.”
ANSWER: VERY TRUE
There are some things you might not
miss, but I bet if there were a fire in
your home, the majority of things you
would miss very much, wouldn’t you?
ANSWER: YES OF COURSE
And how do you feel about your house
itself?
ANSWER: I LOVE IT – SMALL BUT COMFY
Is it just a shell? A place to “hang your hat,” so to speak? Just a place to live?
ANSWER: NO! THAT’S MY LITTLE HOMELY HOME – WHERE I’M IN CHARGE…
Or is it your HOME? A place that matters very much to you?
ANSWER: YES…!
How would you feel if you lost it?
ANSWER: DEVISTATED!!!
What if you had to move somewhere else?
ANSWER: WILL FEEL LOST…
Would you miss your home very much,
or would it be easy for you to make
the move?
ANSWER: I HATE MOVING…! HAD TO DO TOO MANY TIMES WHEN I WAS YOUNGER – MY LATE HUSBAND WAS A FORESTRY MANAGER AND JUST ABOUT EVERY YEAR MY HUSBAND’S WORK TRANSFERED HIM TO ANOTHER FORESTRY STATION – WE LOST SO MUCH, SOME OF IT PRICELESS (LIKE PHOTO’S, CERTIFICATES…)
And just like you may have worked so
hard for the possessions that you have…
Well, that’s how hard they have worked
for the stability that they have.
I NEVER KNEW THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT – BUT LATELY I REALIZE JUST HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS – HAVING AN ADULT DAUGHTER WITH BIPOLAR AND NO MEDICAL AID!
David,
Great questions. Since I moved about a year ago all this questions went through my mind. But I had made a connection with NAMI AR before I moved and they helped me find a facility where I could find a Primary,Psychiatrist and a therapist so I could maintain a program to stay stable with the stress of the move. It had taken me ten years to get stable and working with a very good psychiatrist for two solid years to get stable. When I first moved here we had a tornado warning and I had anxiety and started moving things into closets for protection. My spouse watched me and said “Are you going to be like this everytime the weather gets bad?” With that I realized how unrealaztic that was. Since then I’ve adjust to the move and have decided what is really important. That is my Stability.
R
I am facing bills of a different nature, as in paying for the home health agencies full time care, and that is not cheap. As well as looking to the future knowing that something is going to have to be done, there where they are. As in moving, to a location where we are presently, and I don’t know how that will work out or if they will be able to go through with it. It is not a good thing to have to think about. I am concerned for my sister, and my mom, and know they need to have better care even though the help they are getting is good, it is costly, and I can’t keep good care of them for as long as they will need to have it. The costs are going to be too much if that lasts much longer. It is not an easy time for many if not most of the ones who have to face such decisions. I am just relaying what we have to look at where we are. I know this is a very hard time for many and that we all have hard times to face one way or another. I know that the Lord knows all of the troubles we face, and that these times are not easy for us. We have to look to HIM to help us, we need HIS help in all the decisions that we have to make, and it’s not always a fun decision to make, hard decisions are facing all of us in one way or another, but that doesn’t mean that HE doesn’t care about our needs. He does, but wants our allegience to be His and not ours to self alone. But for His cause, purpose, and ultimately for Heaven is our final HOME, and our Real HOME, where possesions don’t matter, as the possesion that does matter is our souls with His Son Jesus. That is a sure HOPE, and one that we all need to believe. Earth with all of it’s troubles, should cause us to want His Spirit to guide us through the many troubled waters that we all face. But those who do know HIM are not exempt from facing hard decisions either, they just have to listen closer to HIM and trust that they are hearing Him clearly. Reading His Word, prayer, meditating on His Word are all needed, memorization as well all help as well as others who have faced these same decisions to make in their lives and have had to look to His Word for guidance in all that they have gone through. That is the only way to get through these hard times . Stay Close to HIM.