I agree that everyone should take responsibility for their own actions. However, in the case of bipolar disorder, depending on the severity of the illness, certain individuals cannot be responsible for all of their actions while ill. Their judgement is hugely impaired and their ability to properly assess a situation is sometimes impossible.

My son has bipolar and it is severe. He has suffered since he was 19 years old. He is now 35. In that time he has been hospitalised about 16 times. The longest period he has been well is two and a half years. One hospital stay lasted 3 months. I know for a fact that when severely ill his perception of events and situtions borders on the bizarre. When he is well again he can see how ill he was but during the episode this is certainly not evidence.

I obviously cannot argue the case for anyone else. I am simply saying it depending on my experience of my son.

Yours
Irene

I think that everyone should take responsibility for his/her own self. Having said that, I also think that loving someone means taking responsibility for them as well. People used to do that. It was called being a good neighbor, or a good friend, or a good Samaritan. People simply do not care about each other any more. If we, as a society, took responsibility for each other, the world would be a much better place. This doesn’t mean that we can use bipolar as an excuse(or any thing else). It simply means that we acknowledge that things like bipolar contribute to how we feel. That is not blaming it, just understanding it. I think that we sadly live in a world where everyone wants to take responsibility only for themselves if at all. I think that is the height of selfishness. Jesus said that we are to love one another as He loves us. What would He say to this question?

First I’m in central time and it is pretty early to send out these emails and a lot of work and I greatly appreciate what you do. With all the other tasks and responsibilities you have, I see no reason why you can’t send them a little later. I personally am not able to read most of mine until I get home in the evening. on the agree or disagree part, I agree with you. there are a lot of people who have a mental illness and they function very well. There is no reason why they can’t be responsible for themselves as long as they keep a good support system, doctor, and counselor. I feel the same with the ones who are not as high a functioning. They too are responsible for their actions, behaviors, etc. They just need a little extra guidance and help. It is like with children you are responsible for the child, but not responsible for their actions and decisions they make. We as supporters can help guide our loved ones in the right direction. We can not make them follow our teachings and advice. I am Bi-polar and a supporter of some with different mental illnesses. Thankyou for all your hard work. I enjoy your emails. Thankyou. Jamie

Dave,
I feel that any one with a disorder needs some kind of support to learn how to deal with it. But also, as you said with a child the parent or the caretaker should really be a role model. I’ve got a child with Bipolar and I try to be a role model to her. I stay consistant with her,try to teach her how to redirect herself to keep her from loosing it. She does real good with it and she is a A-B honor roll child. So, I feel that all you can do as a parent/caretaker is be there to help them get through it. Big thing with me is being very open with my child for she will feel comfortable talking to me about anything and I also have her involved in therapy.

Your thoughts 2-3 times/wk is BETTER. Daily e-mails are excessive—often repetitive and dashed off. Lately your insight has been uplifting and better expressed, tho. Thanks for the efforts!

Yes, people should take responsibility for themselves. Consequences for one’s own actions is an important learning tool (for the healthy clear-thinker).

Nice to be reminded not to pass the buck or carry unnecessary guilt.

Not having a daily email would be fine with me.

And each person can only be responsible for him or herself, unless, of course, that person is ruled legally incompetent.

It’s a fine line between nurturing/supporting and controlling, especially when the loved one seems to be not in control of him or herself. Tough calls to make. I’m learning all the time, as a supporter.

I do believe we are responsible for ourselves but i guess the only part I disagree w/ (keep in mind I believe i’m a supporter but that person has not been diagnosed & if they are bipolar it’s not a bad case) is that even thought we’re responsible sometimes we need help w/ things. I mean sometimes we can only do so much and only have so much to do it. Maybe it’s harder beinga supporter than someone dealing w/ the disorder because they can be quite selfish. They are accepted for their faults but we are supposed to always be strong & non failing. Can you tell it’s been a bad day??

Well I guess we should support them if they go into treatment (meds and therapy). but if they don’t do either well then what are we as spouses supposed to do? My life has been up and down with him. good times and bad, broke or in debt,fighting or not fighting, etc. He tells me it’s my fault he is like this. then he uses Pot and beer for self medication and also excessive eexercising like running 5-6 miles a day, twice a day! He takes too much time off from our business and that means I have to pick up his slack. He goes on trips (that we can’t afford) to ski, hike, all physical stuff, and then relax in a beautiful setting. But no matter where you go, whether it’s Montana or Vermont, you will still be ther same person; this is what I tell him. He disagrees. He wants to move to Montana with me, leave my son and my new baby granddaughter. I am torn now. Should I move and start a new life out there with him? I don’t know what to do. Sorry about dumping this on you. You seem to have all the answers though accroding to your writings.

it does not at all bother me if you write you colum later, us bipolar people do not do everything on a time line so why should we expect you to do the same.i would someday like to talk to you about my bipolar, people phobia, and anxiety. i’ll talk to any one that might help me. i’ve be to so may doctors and taken all the meds you cam think of. thank you for listening to me.jeanie

Good Morning!
Yes, I believe that we should all be responsible for our own actions, even if bipolar is a part of it. My daughter is serving time in prison right now which is a
consequence of her actions. Yes, she was in a manic state at the time when she made the wrong decision, but the judge did send her to several places like rehab, she is a self medicator, before she finally ran out of chances and was sentenced to prison. Although, I miss her terribly she has to learn that she is responsible for her actions and being bipolar is no excuse! Thanks for all the articles/emails….they really do help me get through some tough days. And I’m learning so much!!
Have a great day!!

Susan

I absolutely agree with the responsibility piece you sent out today. One of the hardest things I have had to learn is it is not my responsibility to correct the behaviors of my husband or the troubles they bring. I was very co-dependent on this but I have learned that the more I don’t take responsibility for his actions the more he rises to the occasion and does. But, I had to say what I would do (consequences) and do what I said. Before I thought I was helping him by being responsible for his actions but now I know that all I was doing was delaying his recovery – By standing firm and not being responsible for his actions he understands the boundaries and expectations of an adult in society and that structure has been very helpful and healing for both of us

If the Judicial Court holds you responsible for your actions (eventhough you are bipolar) you are responsible for your actions.

Dear Dave:
No is responsible for another, except parents and young children. I have BP and am finding I am my own supporter. I know when an episode is coming on and I contact my doctor immediately. For the first few months my mother and dad were my main supporters, to help me get the help I knew I desparately needed. But gradually that has worn off. Unless my mom and dad (who live 250 miles away) see or hear in my voice something “different”. Like more depression or tiredness. Or just not being myself. I have finally gotten to the point where I feel like the old me. I got B’s and A’s last semester, and I am finishing my Bachelor’s one year from now. I also work part time. This year I am also joining the volunteer group CASA, to help children in Foster Homes.

So my point is that eventually you can become your own supporter. As long as you are stable for long periods of time and you feel something different coming on. This is a new life for me. I have fantastic doctors. We can recover and live an independent life. As long as we take care of ourselves and become more self aware.
Thanks for all the work you do, and I think yes cutting the emails down to 3 times a week and shooting them out later would be good for you. You’ve been at this a long time. Time for a break.
Your friend,
Teri

David,
I am a person that has bipolar disorder. I’m very lucky. I have been married for 25 years & my husband has always been there for me. I thank God for this every day! I have had plenty of my ups and downs! I had a really good doctor for 15 yrs., and then he moved. After that I’ve went through two doctors because they couldn’t compare to the one that I had. Now I’ve been going to a doctor for the past yr.1/2. Like you said, it’s very important to find the right psychiatrist. Although she talks to me about things, I now know (thanks to you) that I also need to see a counselor.

I appreciate your emails very much. There should be more people like you, to be able to just present different information.
Sincerely, JoAnn

Each bipolar adult, if mature enough, aknowledges that he is not guilty of being bipolar but that he has to act responsibily to control his problem: medicine, therapy, perhaps a support group and whatever he needs to be good. A supporter just encourages the bipolar to do what is good for him but is not responsible if the bipolar refuses to do so.

I am diagnosed Bipolar and I believe our thoughts which has an influence on our feelings sometimes may produce anger and impulsive decisions to react temporarily in irrational manners of course after recognizing this behavior for many times over a span of several years naturally a person with Bipolar tends to blame everything on that terrible singled out illness Bipolar. You can not use your Bipolar as an excuse and we are given the freedom to function in society like everyone else.

Dear David,

I appreciate your committment to this endeavor, and I have learned a lot from your daily messages.

I don’t have time to read all of your messages daily, though. So, I could live with fewer messages at a later time.

Again, thank you for all you do and the assistance to all of us affected by this disease, either directly or in the family, on how to deal with it.

D

I just don’t know anymore. My daughter has a 5 yr old son. She’s home, but when asked won’t get out of bed, neither to feed him, or get him ready for school. Question; do I just leave the 5 yr old child to his own resources, do I try and “make” my daughter take resposibility for her son, or guess what, I take care of my grandchild and get him off to school, which he has come to expect anyway. I find this quite frustrating. I won’t take him from his mother, and I certainly ask her to take him and get her own place, so I choose to put up with hr bs, which by the way she blames on her bipolar disorder. Any similar situations out thre??????

I just started reciving your daily messages, and I have been inlightened by them, I would be happy to recive a message everyother day or so, as I will still learn from any information that I recive from you.
As far as people being responsible, I belive that a family should support thier loved one’s and the member with the illness should be accountable for thier actions, and be ready to except the consiquences. Yet forgiveness should be quick as well.

Dear David: It is very true that anyone with bipolar can live a productive life if they take their medication faithfully, and have the desire to be successful. I am aware of a surgeon that is Bipolar and has episodes, but also takes his medication and lives a very productive life. This is very true, however, what if they are a 44 year old 250 lb male, that won’t take their medication, won’t try to be self efficient, and always want the parents to take care of them when the parents are getting old and have a hard time even taking care of themselves? The parents won’t live forever, and may be in poor health themselves. How can you make the Bipolar person become self efficient, when they refuse to follow the program? This person I am talking about has destroyed two apartments, and has a poor record of paying rent, and no one wants to rent to him, and he can’t seem to keep a job because he sleeps in and forgets to go to work. Isn’t there a time that a parent has to finally refuse to help? My stepson has two sisters that are very upset with us because after 25 years of trying to help him be self efficient, we refuse to have him live in our home. The sisters expect us as parents to support him completely until the day we die, and have refused to talk with us or communicate with me and their father if we don’t take him into our home and support their brother. This to us is completely unfair, and even though we love this bi-polar son, we simply must use tough love and force him to take control of himself. His sisters say they don’t have enough space for him at their home, but insist that we should be the ones responsible for him. We have helped him find a support group and community housing, but not sure how long it will last.
LEL

I do not believe that the law cares whether a person is mental, drunk, on drugs or not taking necessary medication. A person must be able to know right from wrong to live in the free world. Prisons and mental facilities are full of people who could not or would not make choices for themselves. I too am a supporter. I have three bi-polar children. My mother was bi-polar, my grandmother were as well. I am now raising one of my grandchildren who is bi-polar as well. As a supporter I can become part of the solution or part of the problem. I choose to allow my bi-polar loved ones suffer their own consequences when they perform badly. They are adults if I always try to make things better they will expect me to intervene in every situation they find themselves messing up. Some chose to self medicate. Some chose to break the law and go to prison and to jail. Another cannot pay his bills and has very little impulse control. He refuses to take medicine for his condition. I am raising his child because he cannot provide for her emotionally or physically. Food, water, place to live, clothing. they all come second to what is important to her bi-polar dad. Her mom is in prison for her choice not to take medication, committing a horrible crime and will live there for the rest of her life.I am not responsible nor will I take responsibility for their choices. I have been a good roll model have helped and supported them and have always been their greatest fan when they are doing what needs to be done. There are consequences for bad choices. They should learn this while they are young so there will be less when they are old. All of them are brilliant intelligent people. They are very capable and able to face life on lifes terms. If I perform badly there are consequences if my bi-polar loved ones perform badly there are consequences. Sometimes lessons are learned the hard way. Mental illness or not.

I read your letters that you send one every day but this one really hit home! I have a 15 yr old son with bi-polar and he blames everything that he does wrong on the disorder, maybe as he grows up he will realize what he’s doing wrong.

I believe that when anyone has an illness, emotional or not, that they are ultimately responsible for themselves as adults. The choice remains with them to seek treatment or not. Presently my husband and I are separated b/c he believes that he is ‘in love’ with a girl he met online 8mos. ago that he is never even seen. He cries profusely and it rips my heart out b/c I love him dearly, however there is nothing that I can do to help him unless he chooses to get the help he needs. Presently, he’s in denial. But he will not even go to the doctor to rule out bipolar. He’s even gone sofaras to comment that he knows he’s depressed but it’s not clinical. Therefore, I believe that bipolar disorder EXPLAINS behavior but does not EXCUSE it. You eventually have to take responsibility for yourself. That’s part of being an adult and a productive member of society.

I feel that the individual is responsible for themselves. However the supporter can be of help in pointing out warning signs if the individual is not aware of what is happening in their life. Then it is the person’s esponsibility to take heed and act in a responsible manner.

Yes, 2 or 3 x a week would be great.

My boyfriend is Bipolar and is currently in treatment @ a private facility. As with most people witht the disorder he had recently gotten off his meds due to a lack of insurance and finances being tight. I have just recently found your website and it is helping me to understand this disorder much more clearly.
I believe each person, regardless of problems, should be responsible for their own actions. I cannot control what he does with his life (though at times he does act like an uncontrollable teenager) and I just have to hope he does right for me and himself and all of our children. Collectively, we have six!!!

Thanks for your help! Cprey

I am a BIG advocate for people being responsible for the decisions they make and actions they take, however sometimes there are exceptions to this. For example: There may be times when all of a sudden a person {whom you thought was just being lazy and rebellious} can not gather their thoughts, get out of their own way, struggle to put a sentence together or can’t talk without stuttering, just to name a few things. At this point I do feel intervention from others may be necessary.

I have a family member who was just diagnosed with bipolar and some other medical problems. When I met with this person recently I saw quite a difference from the last time we got together. Everything I stated above described this family member and then some. How- ever I do not feel that these disorders are an excuse for everything that has gone wrong in this person’s life. Responsibility for some poor decisions made in the past should be his/hers alone. This may sound cruel, but my husband and I taught our children when they were growing up the difference between right and wrong and that hard work paid off. We also stated that God gives each one of us a free will to make choices and the final decision as to how to conduct our lives is up to us.

me, my son, and my granddaughter and possibly others in my family all suffer. we have taken care of each other and helped each other. yes we are responsible for our own actions, but at times our actions bring consequenses then someone has to be in control so at times others have to make decisions for us.
if we are not correctly medicated we do “off the wall” actions. we may look back and think “why” but it is too late. so someone has to take care of the consequenses for us. sometimes someone loves us enough to be responsible when we get ourselves in a jam. as in some of the letters that precede mine, those who have taken responsiblity for BP loved ones feel like they are overwhelmed by the constant pressure, never knowing what will happen next.
i have loved my son and grandaughter so much to forgive them things i never in my life thought i would. then i think of all the times in my marriage my husband has “cleaned up” after my messes.
we take responsibility for them because we love deeply our BP relatives. someday the Bible promises we all will be well, so we live for that day and do what we can to make it as a family.

I believe that you are responsible for your own actions, even if you are bipolar (I am BP I and in my 50s, and I’ve always accepted what I did was what I decided to do, whether ill or not). The key is trying to stay stable, and to have an agreement with your support system that if they say you are not in a position to make any decisions without checking with them first, to conciously honor that agreement. I’m very fortunate to be extremely stable for the most part, and able to recognize when my behavior starts changing and get my meds adjusted accordingly. However, my supporters are NOT responsible for my actions, especially when I disregard their advice. Their only responsibility as a supporter it to be supportive and honor our agreement to point out when I start behaving somewhat irratically/irrationally. After that, it’s up to me to do something. After all, I’m the one who has to live with bipolar disorder and can’t get away from it, and since I have my own income and ability to make decisions, must live with the consequences. I thank God every day that I’m very conservative financially, especially in these tough economic times. My upbringing pounded a high set of morals into me that I cannot ignore, even when in the middle of a raving manic episode. (Thanks Mom & Dad) So, because of these two things I’ve avoided some of the most destructive traps of bipolar disorder, although I have done my share of damage to relationships in smaller ways – some of which were forgiven, some where not. The hardest thing, I think, is to accept and recognize your behaviors for what they are. I take an inventory every day to make sure that I’m on track, and should some major, disruptive event happen, I really do an in depth check with myself, and usually trot off to my p-doc for meds adjustment.

We’re responsible for our actions, unless we are literally insane enough to be committed, and there’s so many systems you can put into place to prevent that from happening.

If you choose to write three times a week later in the morning, it is still a blessing that you are keeping in touch with us and helping us all come together in this messed up world! As with this connection, it helps to make me feel like I am not all alone in this world with others having the same problems! 🙂 Thank you for your dedication.

As for responsibility levels, how can one that is not of the same body be responsible for the others actions? What if they killed someone, then would the responsible party go to jail for their actions? NO! So there is not at any level of understanding a reason for saying someone else is responsible for anyone’s bipolar hostility or problems. Also, the only way to change is when you are good and ready and no one can talk anyone else into changing. So a bipolar person, can’t just listen and do what they are told, because as we all know, that doesn’t happen. Even if it did, oh my goodness can you imagine our responsibility level then? We all have ourselves to grow within God, and manage our own finances, and take care of our own children, and go to work on time, and make our dinners and clean our homes. Adding another Adult with a disfunction to the equasion, would make it immediate overload and we ourselves as supporters would breakdown. I can’t even get my own mother to admit she even has a problem, she just creates major drama with me and blames me for everything that I dont even understand what the problem is or how I created anything. She cant even say she is sorry for lies she tells because she makes more lies to cover up for past lies. So I can’t be responsible for her because she wont even let me in to help her. If someone says they want your help, I believe wholeheartedly that you should do everything you can to help them, other than financially. My husband has helped me grow mentally, and emotionally in several ways, because I am open for it and I asked for it and he doesn’t hurt me. So he is responsible for accepting me with my difficulties and willing to help me grow, but I am responsible for doing the growing. We all have our responsibilities, and if we tell someone we relieve them of being responsible, they may just fly off the deepend doing wrong things and feeling they can get away with anything they want.

I agree that we all should be responsible for our selves.I have a but on this though. My husband has bipolar as well as schizophrenia. It is real hard for him to understand everything that is around him and always what is happening to him. I think it is wise of me to pay attention to him (so no excuses can be made so to speak)and help him to understand what is going on around him. But in return that gives the help he needs to be able to understand the situation and make his decisions himself. I hope that was not confusing. I think that the self esteem can stay in tacked, and he can feel some type of control in his life. He knows that I support him and his illness but I do not want to take control of his life. I have read that we are our brothers keeper. That to me doesn’t mean that I do everything for him but I know what to do to support him and help him without falling into the trap of doing it for them and taking the blame for their actions.

Dave,
For what I get from your e-mails, you are not asking too much. Later or less frequent, I’m sure to adjust.

Sometimes less is more. I would not mind: more time to consider, understand and maybe (if I look), life will give me an opportunity to really apply the presented topic.

Hopefully for you, with less pressure, you’ll get even
more satisfaction from the writing process.

Responsibility for others? Every person and situation is different, so you have to apply all the factors that you’re aware of. Truth, love, patience and prayer has always been successful with my husband who has bipolar.
God bless in Jesus’ name,
Vicky

I was diagnosed w/Mixed Spectrum Bi-Polar Disorder w/Dysphoric Mania 5 years ago at the age of 50. When I am having an “episode”, I can’t even take care of myself, no less “take responsibility” of my self. With the help of my husband & a good therapist, I found a wonderful Shrink. After trying several different meds., we found a combination that worked. I have been stable (episode free) for over 3 years. I am very strict about taking care of myself NOW that I can. I work almost full time, take my meds. every night, read all the articles & books I can find on the subject. I have a good support of close friends. Not all of my family know my diagnosis: they would not be a good support for me. They have too many of their own “issues” and do not have much empathy for people w/ “mental problems”. So, I think that if a person is diagnosed, & gets the proper treatment & support, then yes, they should take responsibility. Not everyone w/the disorder can.

DAVE, Ireland and the UK are about 6 hours ahead of your time. I usually check my emails late at night and it doesn’t make any difference when you send them. Sometimes I may be busy and only get to read them a couple of days later. You’re working very hard and it’s perfectly understandable if you wanted to take a couple of days off. You mentioned on several occasions that it is important to get 8 hours uninterrupted sleep. On average I get about 5 or 6 hours, sometimes 8 or 9, but Never uninterrupted. I always wake up at least twice. You, with all the work you do, as well as going to the gym, hiking, shopping, etc. never seem to rest at all. You really deserve a good holiday.

Generally, every adult should be responsible for themselves and their own actions. Except when someone is in a bipolar episode this isn’t always possible.

Ooops suppose to be bipolar up above in my comment. 🙂

Hi Dave! Enjoyed the daily emails and the mini course. Nice to be reminded of previous lessons learned. Thanks for sharing. Eileen

Since the birth of my son almost 19 years ago, he has struggled and I have struggled. His biological father and grandmother are BP. I have known his whole life he is bipolar. He was kicked out of Kindergarten 4 times in 2 years. I remarried and my husband has never been able to understand him nor does he have the patience to try. My son is also dyslexic. He has been diagnosed with every behaivoral problem there is and I was told when he was 7 to send him to a boys home and my husband was ready for me to do it.
At that time I decided God gave him to me. My job was to raise and love him to the best of my ability. Not throw him away. I have done that.
We made it until he was 17 without medication. Hard, but we made it. At that time he was in a wreck and ended up in a wheelchair for awhile and also a head injury. The head injury set off his bipolar to a level I had never witnessed before. I have to choose what he is capable of being responsible for and what I have to be responsible for. There is a balance. Bipolar is neither black or white, its grey.
I ask you a question? My nephew has downs syndrome. When he is in the “mood,” watch out. He is not in control of his actions. We have to take responsibility for him until the “mood” has passed and he can function again. Just because we can see he is disabled, does that make him more disabled than someone with severe BP? My nephew can dress himseld, take care of his own hygiene. He can even cook and wash his own clothes. He has responsibilities, but is he responsible?
My son looks normal, to most outside people he meets, he is normal. He is good looking and the girls are all over him. But within one week of spending daily time with him, you realize he is not normal. Can’t keep a girlfriend or a job. Dropped out of school. Cant keep focused on anything for longer than a day or two. That is not normal.
I had a counselor tell me to come to terms with the fact he will eventually be living on the street and I was not responsible for that. I am responsible for that. He is my son, regardless of whether he is 12, 20 or 60. My nephew will always be someones responsibility. What is the diffrence? Again I will say, there is a balance. If properly medicated, which we have yet to accomplish, he takes on more responsibility. Until that time, I am responsible.

Thanks David, for all your helpful e-mails. My bipolar husband asked me how I got to be such an “expert” on bipolar stuff,& I told him I read a lot on it often. What time of day you write does not matter–I read late at night anyway. People can adjust to fit, since its free info–they should be grateful & supportive of your efforts.
I try to be responsible in some areas–to see that my husband has & takes his daily meds,& that he gets to his dr appointments. More than that I cannot do–he is a grown man who resents me being what he calls “controlling”. Thanks for helping us understand & re-think our positions.

Dear Mr. Oliver;

To answer your first question relative to rearranging your site. It is YOUR site. (You can do whatever you bloody well want). You have offered numerous informational site for added support to the thoughts described each day. Besides, you have he right to maintain the level of quality rather than quantity. Anyone can become “burned out”.

Next discussion – “should the caregiver be responsible”?
There is a huge difference between being a supporter and an enabler. If the BP person has no problems with developmental disabilities, then they are aware of actions and consequences (their own and others). There has been a history of many serious and sometimes deadly endings to manic phases gone unchecked. Even with personality disorders, there exists an self awareness of agressive actions and the damage that ensues. The “enabler” will continually excuse and forgive the agressor. That is equivalent to constantly picking up a nonambulent person without ever giving them the dignity or chance to pull themselves up to begin a recvery of their own. Those muscles will atrophyand be useless on their own.
The emotional muscles are the most difficult to teach independence and self support. Many supporters with good intentions have kept their BP’s emotionally crippled without realizing. It might hurt us to see the BP go through reprecussions of their actions but it is no favor to delay the inevitable. Like the 12 step programs say, “let go and let God”. None of us carry that title so we have to let it go and be there for them but not be there instead od them.

I read your emails everyday. Some of the information is very informative. Occasionally, I learn something. But, I mostly enjoy reading the entries from other readers. I think that is what I would miss the most. If you had to write less often, it would be contingent upon your schedule, of course. I don’t think you could ever run out of topics to write about. Why not have guests write some of the subjects? I think that would be very interesting? It would be wonderful to hear from some of the survivors as well as the supporters.

I worked with mentally retarded patients and some mentally ill patients. The best that was being done for them was to teach them to become as independent as possible (pay rent, buy groceries, etc). The department also was an advocate for the patient in court etc. Bipolar people should see the good in them being able to take care of themselves if no one is there to help. Sort of a plan of attack. The supporter may be gone tomorrow for whatever reason. Dave, I am okay in your doing the emails later. God Bless You.

Dave,
Its fine if you only have time to send emails 3 times a week I enjoy getting them daily because they are so helpful and I look forward to getting them,but yet you have to do what you got to do to take care of you and your family so if 3 days is what you can do,ok fine and I appreciate all you do all the time.
as for todays subject yes I think every person should be responible for there on actions,yes I understand sometimes if you are bipolar you may miss behave when you have a episode and as a supporter we should try to help them while having them,but any thing that is done that hurts others or what ever durning the time the bipolar person needs to be responible for apologys or what ever it takes for there on actions.

Dear Dave,

You have done so much already for us and for your mother. If you feel you need a break from writing these blogs and sending the e-mails on a daily basis, then by all means go ahead and take one. I’m not going to freak out if I only get your inspirational e-mails three times a week.

We can be responsible only for ourselves to a point. Being bipolar myself, I am responsible for learning my triggers and recognizing signs and symptoms of mania or depression and doing what I can to avoid them or lessen them to a degree. However, if I get past the point where I am able to do anything to help myself, or I reach out to a friend or family member for help, I would hope that they would do what they can to get me help (IE: call my psychologist or psychiatrist, take me to the hospital, call 911 if necessary). I think that a plan of action should be put into place before it gets to this point so that we know what to do in a time of crisis.

Thank you for all you do!

Cheryl

HI
I think changing the time and frequency of letters is fine. I get heaps of mail from you and wouldn’t mind a little less. Having said that, I do appreciate all you say and it is esy to read it quickly then delete it if I don’t feel I need to keep it. Thanks for all the time and effort you put in to these messages, greatly appreciated.

Re responsibility question. Last week I was reading some of your news reports ob BP. I was disturbed to realise how easy a BP person can get in to an illegal situation and then have to carry the consequenses. My BP husband is generally well on his meds, but last year for first time in 11 years had a BP episode , while taking his meds and following procedures set down . He recognised a problem himself and had his meds altered according to Dr. However, he still was a little out of touch for about 10 weeks. He was OK to work, but there was inappropriate behaviour going on in the background that took a good 10 weeks plus to stop. I would not think he should be held responsible for that out of character behaviour that I believe he had no insight on and yet could be held responsible for!

David,

I have learned a lot from you. However, don’t take this personally, but I am not hooked on hearing daily blogs. I truly read every one, yet it is okay with me if you go to less per week. I can’t imagine doing it every day myself, so please feel free to cut down the number per week. I’m not saying I don’t appreciate your work, just that it is okay with me. I save the ones in my save file that I feel I should read again, and so, just so ya’ know, I appreciate it.
Joanne

I agree. It is so easy to fall in the trap of ‘Hey! This a genetic thing. It is Mom and Pops fault’ or ‘It is a disease! I can not be responsible for what happens when I am sick.’ Damages to property and people stack up and the parents or public are left to blame. A main part of the cure, maybe the first part, would seem to be coming to the understanding of this fact.

I am responsible for ignoring the situation so long. I can not believe the money and pain suffered; and I did nothing to learn more about this disorder that I knew existed for some twenty years. I only hope it is not to late, and, that I can talk the mother of this man into trying to help, and that some form of financing is available. (Unfortunately, denial on both the parts of the one with the disorder and those that care about them is a major stumbling block.) And as this article pointed out, he has to assume his responsibilty, and, maybe more important, become totally committed to gaining control of his problem for the sake of his mother, his kids, and the family.

Hi! It was just two weeks ago when I encountered Mr. David Oliver’s Bipolar site. I am 21 years old. A Certified Public Accountant. I just passed the board exam last October 2008 and then after that, there were a lot of weird things happening to me like being awake for 48 hours and I don’t know why. Being super energetic for a week and then the other week, I’ll be lying on my bed and don’t want to go home nor eat. My parents accompanied me to visit a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed to have a Bipolar disorder with suicidal attempt. Until now, I am still taking my medication. I found out that I can already control my emotions. When I feel that I am at my manic state, I try to divert it by doing the things I love to do like cooking and gardening. I also do that whenever I am at my depress state and I talk to my father telling him the things that makes me depress.

Anyway, regarding the mail you sent me. My comment is that, we are the one responsible for the things that we are doing but, there is also this term they call, give and take. Everyone should adjust for each other. I agree to what my psychiatrist told me. Indeed, I really need the medicine because of the chemical imbalances in my brain but, the medicine wouldn’t be effective if I will not cooperate. I should start with my self and with the support of my family. I want to share this to everyone especially those with bipolar disorder like me:
1.) Acceptance that there is something wrong about you.
2.) Tell to the people close to you about your illness so that they will understand why your acting this and that. Have a good relationship with them and be open to them most of the time.
3.) You should learn to adjust. As the medicine controls the chemical imbalances in your brain, you should be controlling your emotions.
4.) Learn to love and appreciate the people and things around you.
5.) Read the Holy Bible, you may not understand everything that is written in there but it God works in mysterious ways.

Good day everyone and God Bless!

I am a mother of a son with bipolar at 29 years old.He had a bad weekend ending up in jail for his seond DWI. The week before he was looking at buying a new home. I guess the stress play a big part in his episodes. I am not sure if he will do jail time. I am worry about how he will handle this. How to cop

“Catherine” DAVE!
You spouting pstch. babble “Medicine controls chemical imballence.”
Darling, you POOR little damaged Girl.
THEIR IS NO WAY TO ASSESS THE CHEMICAL BALLENCE… OF A LIVING BRAIN.”
ALL PROPAGANDA.
THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
At 21 I stayed awake for Months.
I take NO “medicine.”
Well for 1 NO SCIENCE NOR MEDICINE BACKS ANY OF WHAT THE PSYCH. ORGANISM SAYS OR DOES.
IT IS FRAUD.
PLEASE TAKE IF YOU MUST THESE TOXINS ONLY WHEN YOU NEED THEM.
AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE, FOR AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.
WHY NOT JUST HAVE EX, OR SELF PLEASURE?
WORKS FOR ME & I WAS LABELED BP OVER 8 YEARS AGO.
IT IS IATROGENIC VIA POLYPHARMACY.
THE MEDS WILL GIVE YOU BRAIN & ORGAN DAMAGE/FAILIER. THIS IS WHAT THEIR FOR. THEY R THE DISORDER DARLING.

The problem is that they are not responsible but want all the perks of a “responsible adult”. There are all these protections built in to protect people with severe mental illness but no protections to protect the people that they affect with their behaviors and actions and words of meanness. They are given choices as to whether to take medication, yet in not taking it we hear in the news “oh well, they killed a family member because they were off their meds” and the world excuses it like it will never really touch their lives. Yet, those same people off their meds try to “get off” on insanity. They do need to be held accountable. God knows, a out of control bipolar patient that is irrational and manic and delusional even if they can hold it together in a court room, all to act out the minute they have “gotten away” with whatever they have done, blames their supporter on everything, including poisoning them with medication – which is the most schizophrenia comment that are special bipolar family member has ever made (well that and the ginger bread boy running in front of the car and some other like comments).