Hi,
How’s it going today?
Many of us have heard the expression, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”
But think about that…
“Anything worth doing…”
Have you ever had to ask yourself if what you’re doing is worth doing?
Like going to school perhaps?
Or doing the job that you’re doing?
Or being in the relationship you’re in?
Or training or keeping that pet?
Or driving that car?
Or living in that house?
Or following that dream?
Now look back at those questions.
Some of them, well, you just have to answer no to.
Or, at least, you’ve had to answer no to in the past.
Some people have had to drop out of college because it just wasn’t worth it all that time and effort to get that degree, when they could make more money in a lucrative career without it (or start their own business).
Some people switched jobs because it wasn’t worth the hassle in the job where they were, or it wasn’t worth the pay, or… well, for whatever reason, it just wasn’t worth it.
Some people have been in relationships that may have started well enough, but then got so complicated that it just wasn’t worth the energy they had to put into it to sustain that relationship.
Some people, and I know this may sound cruel, but for some people it’s just been necessary, have had to give away animals because it just wasn’t worth all the time and money they had
to put into them to try to train and keep them, so they had to make that tough decision.
Some people have had to sell their cars (actually, a lot of people) because the maintenance on the car just wasn’t worth the money they had into it, and it was just cheaper to buy a new one.
You know, the same can be said of computers these days, as well.
Unfortunately, many people have had to sell their houses, because so many things started going wrong that it just wasn’t worth it after awhile, and it was better to find another house instead.
And some people have even had to give up their dreams because it just wasn’t worth it after awhile to pursue them in light of reality, or in light of all the time and money and energy they had to put into making those dreams come true.
So how does all this relate to bipolar disorder?
After everything I’ve just pointed out, let me ask you to think about this question:
Is it worth it to continue to support a loved one with bipolar disorder, who may not be getting better?
Who may be going into episodes, and you can’t help them?
Or they don’t seem to even want your help?
Is it worth it to keep hanging in there with a loved one who has horrible mood swings?
Who has acting out behavior from their bipolar episodes?
Where you have to deal with the consequences of what they do during their episodes?
I’ve written all about mood swings, bipolar episodes, and the consequences of those episodes, as well as how you can cope with them in my courses/systems, because I know what it’s like from what I went through with my mom.
And I had to ask myself if it was worth it, too.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it when your loved one doesn’t want to take their medication?
Or go to the doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist?
Or sleep right, eat right, or exercise?
Or do the things that will keep them stable with their bipolar disorder?
Well, it was worth it for me with my mom.
And today she is stable, happy, productive, and successful.
And so I challenge you:
IT IS WORTH IT!
If it was worth it to me, it can be worth it for you, too.
If your loved one can learn to manage their bipolar disorder like my mom did…
Then there is every reason to believe that your loved one can become stable, happy, productive, and successful, too!
Then it will all have been worth it!
Just hang in there, it will be worth it.
Do you agree with me?
I’m very glad, of course, that everything worked out well for your mother. It doesn’t always work out that way. I was, until recently, engaged to a man with bipolar disorder and chose to end the relationship. I couldn’t handle his lies anymore. Whether I’m in the picture or not doesn’t seem to affect how he lives his life, so I figured I’d save the one person I can: me.
hi, yes your right it is so easy to question if it is wqorth it. But the times when they do accomplish what they set out to do and the times they show you how much they appreciate the love and support you give them makes it all worth it.
Was it worth it to lose the job of a lifetime? Was it worth it to lose innumerable dead-end jobs because of my bipolar? Was it worth it to lost otherwise GOOD relationships because I was hospitalized? Nearly every question you ask above, can only be answered with hindsight.
I KNOW it was ultimately worth EVERYTHING I have gone through with this illness, to FINALLY become stable and reasonably happy inspite of, or because of, bipolar disorder. The mood swngs frightened me, and SOMETHING had to be done to “bring me down to Earth” during my manic episodes. I could have lost my very LIFE doing the “crazy” things that I did when I was “sick.”
I can’t answer for Supporters, as I have none. But – with the patient help of a GREAT shrink and therapist, who only have my best interests at heart, I am on the RIGHT meds, and am following a good treatment plan.
But – YES – all of the above were WORTH IT!!!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I’m frankly at the point of the girl who wrote the first comment re her finace… Yes, I’ve been with him over 2yrs and yes I’ve seen his “highs and lows” (but I’m still hangin in). Do I love him? Well yes. You have to to put up with crap like this. When he’s good or stable, there is nobody in the world like him, but on the converse when he’s bad? He’s beyond horrid. Mean, cruel, disgusting and arrogant. I wonder sometimes if these traits are just inherent in his persona and the bi-polar simply brings them out? It’s like the age old question…”what came first-the chicken or the egg?”
Frankly? I don’t kno what to do. As the mother of an autistic child, I thought I could “handle anything”. Hah! Autism is a walk in the park compared to this. Autism never landed ME on Welbutrim! This has. It’s like his moods become mine, his depression, mine.
Frankly, I think all people with bi-polar are not the same…just like the rest of the population. Some of us are more easy going by nature and some of us have a darker side that conditions like this bring to the surface…
My wife has been Bi-Polar for 45 years. This illness has changed my life. I am not sure how to answer the question. But it is like any other life long illness in some respects and I do know that the more you know about it the better off you are….
I think the answer can depend on who you are supporting. If it is a family member than I would say YES, it is worth it. Being the only supporter in a romantic relationship when the family of ther person I am supporting do nothing but cause episodes, I have to tell you, I am at the point where I may have to admit, it is NOT worth it.
there are times when things are worth the pain, and then there are others when the pain becomes too immense.
it’s great that your mom got better. i’m with someone who has learned to manage their BP through meds & theraphy. But there are some very trying moments on a daily basis, simple plans get complicated or overturned. I love him dearly, but am wondering how long I have continue to believe that the instability is worth it?
only through time and prayer will i understand if it’s all worth it…
I believe it is worth it to be there for someone you love, if you can? My husband has bipolar disorder and his family believes he may also suffer with schizophrenia. He is in total denial about the need for medication to remain stablized. He thinks he will become addicted to it. We are currently separated but communicate by phone , he calls regularly. He is in Texas and I am still in Calilfonia. He left when I had to get a restraining order against him due to the fact that he was becoming more and more abusive verbally and physically(i.e. slapping me, beating and bruising the side of my leg in the thigh area). I left him in the apartment that I was paying the rent ( for the third time) the last time in February 2009. I had to pay for places to stay (inns, motels, etc.) after my daughter would not allow me to stay with her anymore when I had to get away from him ( because she said I would just go back to him).
He was very angry about losing jobs and having no income coming in and took it out on me. I was afraid after that final attack that he might take my life deliberately? or accidentally? during one of his episodes. He does not recall threatening my life about very trivial things or because of something I said. He accused me of
Recently he got his own apartment and is maintaining payments on the extra car he bought here (that we did not need). His family says he had some strange episodes with them when he first got back there. They were refusing to help him financially at that point because of his past behavior.
He is doing well back in Texas now and wants me to come back to him? He got his old job back He is fine as long as things are going his way.
I don’t think that is a good idea, if he continues to refuse to take medication and treatment with psychiatric counseling? and I prefer living in California. I am supposed to go back there in September for my nephews wedding? He expects to see me while I am there. I want to see him , but I wonder if its safe? might seeing me trigger an episode?since I am not agreeing with him about going there to stay next year? What do you think. The illness arises when any thing happens that is not what he wants?
My son is bipolar and YES, he’s “worth it”. But in the past 3 yrs. he has lost 4 jobs, and been divorced. My problem is that he lives over 1,000 miles away and because of losing his jobs he can’t afford his doctors or therapists. He has a very bad back, 2 shoulder operations, gal bladder operation and when he goes into his episodes, he cannot keep a job. His episodes led to shop lifting (short jail time and very big fines). He is presently in jail for a very serious car accident which he says he did not cause on purpose. Out of our very big family, his only supporters are his x-wife, his 2 beautiful children, his sister and me, his Mother. We can NO LONGER afford to pay for ANYTHING for him. We didn’t even have enough money for his bond, to get him out of jail. This is breaking our hearts since we know he is a very loving and caring and good person. But he has an apartment that he shares with another homeless person, when he is not in jail, (I keep in touch with the Ministeries and also his attorney). We don’t know how to be anything more than a moral and loving supporter to him any longer. Dave, at what point does a bipolar person’s behavior stop being “an episode” and start being “against the law, you will go to jail for your actions”??
After eight long months of going nowhere but down with my therapist, I finally ended our relationship. I am trying a new one tomorrow. If she can’t help, i am checking myself into the next funeral home.