Bipolar Supporter? Be Like This To Survive

David Oliver | Daily Bipolar Disorder Message

Hi,

I hope you’re having a great day!

I am actually in North Carolina which for those that don’t live in the US, it’s down towards the southern part of the country.

Anyway there are a ton of big strong looking trees here. I guess it gets really windy and the trees never fall down.

This woman said to me, “I want my son to be strong like these trees.”

She was saying how society seems to be getting more difficult and you need to be strong.

I was of course thinking about bipolar disorder : )

If you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, you need to…

Be like a tree – STAND STRONG!

A tree takes everything thrown at it:

· Wind
· Rain
· Sleet
· Hail
· Snow
· Storms
· Etc.
…and still it STANDS STRONG!

As a supporter, you get a lot thrown at you, too:

· Medication non-compliance
· Treatment non-compliance
· Difficult loved one
· Social stigma
· Family problems
· Bipolar episodes
· Consequences of those episodes
· Anxiety and stress
· Ingratitude
· Loneliness
· Isolation
· Fear
· (possible) Abuse
· Etc.

So you need to be like a tree, and…

STAND STRONG!

Not just for your loved one, but for yourself!

If you don’t take care of yourself first, how can you take care of anyone/anything else? Your job? Your loved one? Your children? Your family? Your responsibilities?

It is NOT selfish to put yourself first in this case. In fact, if you don’t you could actually become ill, and then where would you be?

You must be like a tree —

STAND STRONG!

Do whatever it takes to keep yourself STRONG –

…to fight off all those things I listed before, because they’re not necessarily going to go away.

A tree stands strong no matter what the elements.

A tree stands strong no matter what comes up against it.

A tree stands strong no mater what the circumstances surrounding it.

You need to be like that tree, and STAND STRONG!

Here are some suggestions from my courses/systems:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

· Learn stress reduction techniques
· However you have to do it, find peace within yourself
· Stay calm no matter what the situation
· Improve your self-esteem
· Use positive affirmations
· Learn good time management skills
· Apply self-improvement
· Take up a new hobby
· Re-establish relationships
· Read books on bipolar disorder
· Read for pleasure
· Renew spirituality
· Have a social life
· Be productive
· Take a long bubble bath
· Spoil yourself
· Relax, relax, relax

In other words…

Do whatever it takes…

So that you can…

Be like a tree and…

BE STRONG!

Let me ask you a question before I take off because I really have to go.

Do you thin it’s better to be strong like a tree or not? Some people get mad and offended when I say this kind of stuff.

Let me know. See you tomorrow.

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.

  2. I do stay as strong as a tree,because if I dont everything would fall apart.Its hard,but with the right medicines in play,everything goes alot better,not so roller coaster.My grandson has had alot of difficult things to go through,but he has the right doctors on his side,it makes a world of difference.

  3. I agree wholeheartdly Dave. If we don’t take care of ourselves how can we take care of our biploar loved one? We can’t allow ourselves to become victims. We have to stay strong so we can find some joy in our life and don’t become resentful. It’s not easy but it’s so important. Stay strong for yourself, stay strong for your family and especially stay strong so you can continue to be a supporter. God bless all of us who are affected by this disease and thank you Dave for your daily support.

  4. my girlfriend is bi polar shes been in an out h phychiatric hospitals since 91. She doesnt think she is bi polar stops takenmeds after getten out. recently she says i always argue she rights letters to ex husband in prison never mentioning my name ;she has children by him i do to . i think she loves me but has not told me lately . as of now shes in the hospital voluntarily how long will she be there ? she suffersd from a broken hip recently not getting the proper care no pain pills and leg spasms is this bi polar related? thanks

  5. why dont you winny a– people leave me alone. i visited your site for a paper i was writting. get a life and quit feeling sorry for your selve and being a drain on society and our government. i would like you to stop e-mailing me you all make me sick. get of your a– and do somthing with your lives. i dont beleve in this diorder the more i see. just get up get out anfd focuse on somthing that matters. there someone had to say it. if you cant do that then jump off a building you all winners and rejects. that is what it comes down to. dumb ass.

  9. take a long look at your lives and dont be difuncional. This is not a disorder just a wast of time.
    You are just a bunch of non productive people that want society to pick up after you go away.

  10. leave me alone or i will keep writting and give you all the tough news that you all need to hear that you all are a drain on society and we would all apriciat you going to a different country. This country especially now does not need a bunch of poor me people here we need to rebuild so get off your a– and help society or jump off a cliff ether way it will help. just stop winning and stop making up this false disorder. it does’nt excist you are all just a bunch of non-productive wast of time take care of me people and that is what is wrong with you all. get a life.

  11. Dont listen to Dave he is going to lead you into life of misory. instead i will tell you the truth altough you know its true you may not want to hear it. get a job get a life and dont be a drain on society. Dave just wants to cottle you all and he will not help you. you need to hear stop being a woosie and grow a pair and get out there and do somting for your pittiful lives that just seem to be a waste of time.no winning dont make up excusses why you just dont want to be normal just except the fact that you all are just mutents and that is not a disorder just a fact. get over it. and focuse on somthing that is real

  12. I am as strong as a tree and who the hell does keith think he is just doing a paper? Would someone send him to a psyciatrist fast? My bi polar lives over 400 miles away and should be joining me soon God God willing. I ash for your prayers for Jay and Tate and also that vindictive prats like keith will stop prattling on about something they are obviously totally ignorant of. Hes probably ignorant of everything else and has never had a high school degree.

    False Disorder? Its been recognised by the mediacl profession for centuries.

    Go back to being a road sweeper please>

  13. Yes be as strong as a tree be as flexable as one too. Love ones that are bipoler are a handfull to deal with.

  14. Yes, you need to stand strong like a tree…
    because otherwise every little wind will blow
    you down into a valley so deep you won’t be
    able to see the sun! Sad it has to be so…
    but our society today is just not tolerant
    of folks that are “challenged” in some way…
    I know whereof I speak….I am deaf…and to
    lot of folks that is an annoyance!

    SO STAND STRONG LIKE A TREE!!!!! AND YOU
    WILL ALWAYS FEEL THE SUN:)

  15. This IS a REAL illness. Maybe the people that think it isn’t are bipolar themselves,haven’t had to experience someone who is or are simply ignorant about the illness! Either way, I thank God for people who are willing to try & make a difference in this world to help people dealing with this illness, whether it’s themselves or a loved one. I have been standing strong & tall for 10+yrs…you see my husband is bipolar and goes on & off meds constantly and leaves a train wreck behind him everytime he stops meds. But I’ve made a vow…in sickness & in health!! I do have a life & I try and help my husband make the best of his!

  16. i am certain my husband is bipolar and have been to the doctors with him on numerous occassions and have been told this is not the case . i have presented them with the reasearch i have done and the signs and symptoms that occur and still no joy .be strong like a tree is what i have to be and all the information you send me dave i relate to ,but i dont have my loved ones condition under control or medicated he is in an episode at the moment and without the help i cant cope with him much longer .i hold down a job have four children and all the responsibilities fall on me.

  17. Dear Keith:
    What are you doing writing entries on this website if you don’t believe bipolar is an illness? Why would you want to be abusive to people trying to get information about their disorder? Seems to me that you should have something better to do with your own time if you have to spend it writing offensive things to people reading this blog. Maybe it is you who needs to get a life and a job.

  18. For the person who said its not real. My mother was a nurse and then opened her own company, has had 4 children now we are all grown. 6 years ago she was diagnosed and on a monthly bases has been going through hell and back ever since. She sleeps 2-3 hours a night,she cuts herself, jumps on trains and leaves for days and over medicates herself. We have not found the doctor that will do something for her, they just push pills that are not working. I have taken her to emergency many times and they look at me like I’m trying to commit my mother when all I want is help for her. We sit there for hours just for them to do nothing. She will not tell them how she feels she says it will pass and as soon as they question her she disassociates and they release her. I live with this constantly and it is very real and at times very scarry. You must be her doctor!

  20. Keith,
    maybe you are bipolar and right now you are having a episode and you are in denial..and maybe you are repeating what someone who really didn’t know how bipolar effects you said to you when they were angery at you..There is something wrong and you didn’t just recieve this email by chance. You or someone who cares for you signed up for it.
    Maybe some one sent it to you so maybe you could read it and realize your in denial about a few things.
    You need to get a grip man..

  21. Oh my, what interesting reading today. Maybe medication would help?
    I found out just how strong I am when my son was diagnosed. I was able to hold my composure in his presence, but spent a lot of time in heartache when he wasn’t around. He is stable on medication now and just finished his first semester at college with a 4.0 average. Apparently he is quite strong and focused right now too. Sometimes it’s hard to find the strength, but you just have to force yourself to be calm and in control until it comes naturally. We do need to take care of ourselves so that we are ready for when our loved one needs us.
    I just read a wonderful book by James Patterson called Against Medical Advice. It’s about a young man growing up with Tourettes Syndrome and the amazing support of his family, their struggle to find good medical professionals, countless medication failures etc. All struggles we all face with our loved ones. I found it very inspirational as a supporter. It really shows what hope and strength are all about.
    Have a good weekend!

  22. Tim, if you are writing a paper about bipolar, why not try living with one for a month. Then try looking into the works of the brain. I am sure if you are not as ignorant as you sound can read and understand the disease.
    This is not something thousands of people made up. This is something people live with day in and day out, with no choice! Mental Illness is a very misunderstood problem, and simple minded people like you do not make things any better. But the funny thing is you are the ones that look like fools for not knowing what you are talking about when you open your mouth.

    yes Keith you are just as ignorant if not more so,as Tim.

  23. That last comment was not written by Kle, I am not sure how his name got up there, I don’t feel he should take any repercussions from what I said. Sorry Kle

  24. Hey Keith: I am interested, what kind of paper are you writing? Looks to me like you should first, get a dictionary. Might help you.I am assuming you haven’t had the privlege of knowing some one with bipolar. To bad, because if you read the blogs on here you would know they abound with intellegence. You could learn from everyone on here. Your approach is that of a spoiled hellion.. Take care.

  25. Keith:
    You are really trying hard to get a rise out of people aren’t you? Well maybe you would show your intelligence a little more if YOU LEARNED HOW TO SPELL!!! It’s not “winning” its “whining. Its not pittiful its pitiful and its not mutents. Its mutants.
    Which non of the above people are. Your remarks were rude and apalling. Get off this website!!!

  26. Keith

    Well,congruatulations, you really are THE MAN…you have offended everyone on this blog. Why dont you pick up a copy of the DSM-IV (oh I forgot you probably have no clue what this is…it’s the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, where Bipolar Disorder is INDEED listed as a REAL disorder, with lots of research and facts to back it up. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain.
    If you are ignorant of this disorder, which you OBVIOUSLY are, and just ignorant altogether,indicated by your TERRIBLE spelling…then crawl back into the hole that you crawled out of and LEAVE US ALONE.
    NOBODY wants to hear your crap!!!!!

  27. Keith

    Bipolar people “a drain on society”? HOW DARE YOU?
    Tons of bipolar people work, a lot of them work in helping professions helping others. I worked at one job for TWENTY years until they downsized,took a package and have now gone back to school at 52 to be a social worker. I paid for my own education, NOT the government. AM I A DRAIN ON SOCIETY YOU FREAKIN’ MORON?

  28. “If a tree doesn’t learn how to bend – it will break.” I’ve heard this quote somewhere, and it makes a lot of sense. If you stand TOO strong, a big wind will come along and break all your branches. But if, like a willow, you bend with the wind, you can straighten up and be the strongest tree in the forest.

    It’s like in an argument; if you have to “stand your ground,” come hell or high water, you MAY go into an episode if you let every little thing bother you. But – if you give in, look at another viewpoint, and accept, perhaps, that you are wrong – or even accept your diagnosis as a bipolar and learn all you can about the disorder – you CAN become strong as a tree…

    To KEITH: I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. You are completely “off the wall” with your rantings about bipolar disorder NOT being a REAL psychiatric, mental illness. One out of 4 people in the world suffer from some form of mental illness. Therefore, if you have 3 friends, 1 of you is “sick!” Have a little modicum of compassion and empathy; mental illness has stigma enough without your adding your “two cents.”

    If you ARE doing a paper (and I rather doubt it with the exhibition of your ignorance), then you could do worse than read the posts on this blog. These are REAL people, with REAL problems. Bipolar IS a chemical imbalance in the brain, exacerbated by stress and genetic propensities, that CAN be controlled through medications – “better living through chemistry!” Dave offers a “treatment plan” that really WORKS if we follow it: proper sleep/wake patterns; exercise; taking meds religiously; proper diet; seeing our psychiatrist and therapist regularly. All of the above make us PRODUCTIVE members of society, who are NOT “drains,” living off the public dole. I doubt you even KNOW what bipolar disorder IS. I have suffered with it for 40 years, and STILL have come out “on top.” I refuse to give in to stressors that attack me EVERY day. You know how? By putting one foot in front of the other and getting MOTIVATED to even get out of bed! THAT’S how HARD this illness is.

    Get a dictionary, and GET A LIFE instead of preying on people who can’t defend themselves, you a***…

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.

  30. Suzanne you can stop praying for your country if you are in the US. Things are changing. Don’t worry God does bless us, baby!

    acg

  32. I suffer everyday with BP. this Keith dude is an a–. you know I would not wish this on any one. It is sometimes very hard to live with. My poor husband has put up alot with in the last 18 years I have put us in debt so many times ,that we almost lost are house. The ups & downs are bad. But my sweet husband is still here and he understands. Today I am on meds that help me alot,Plus I work 8 hours aday 5 days a week that keeps me busy and I love it. To Keith you are telling us to get a life” well mabey you need a life because it seems you dont have one to stay in here and put people down BP, or you just dont have any friends to hang out with.

  33. Dave;
    You are mearly a lapdog/puppet for the psych. fraud.
    Yes it is Fraud. NONE of it has ANY Scientific backing QED. The CCHR are shutting them down as we speak FOOL.

    You know NOTHING, perhaps you have glanced at a little propagander? Perhaps they have “programed” you, with MONEY? They can do nothing with their Minds, all they have is Drugs & Money, NOTHING!ALL they do is PUSH Drugs. NONE are willingly Treated…

    SOME PROOF Little One:

    “Dr.” Walter J Freeman, The Lobotomist,(USA. He did this with many elctric shocks to the Brain (For I Guess other forms of Brain dammage) LOOK UP the “Science” and origins of Electroshock therapy. Then he went in 5cm 2″ through the Eye socket with his Ice Picks from his Winnebago. Check him out.(Google the psycho-Fraud).

    A 50 year old Man was given an MRI (Was Lobotomised at 12, some where younger, his stepmum Hated him…)Walter was of course glad to “help him.” Wally used to get emence pleasure & fun out of it, playing up Jovialy for the Cameras, doing it left handed, uning different Hammers….. Jolly Good show, If the “Dr.” shot Dead the Victium, NO that would be Humaine.

    The test showed the Black Holes. The specialist said the “Treatment” would definatly PRODUCE ALL of that which it was supposed to CURE! QED It is Manufactured.

    Today it is Manufactured Via their VILE Drugs. Same thing the Drugs do ALL the opp of what the Pusher (psych.) tells you they will. Hence Your Lilly Zyprexa Olanzapine is in Court, for LIES! None want NOR NEED the “Medication.” It and psych. are the “disorder.”

    No Quack will try it, ALL know it Kills every part of the Body & is of NO Benifit to any. Unless you want Bp etc…

    They have made GREAT PROGRESS. At first they could MEARLY Lobotomise, NOW they can Chemicaly Deceribate. Yes I have NO mind, No thoughts, no memory, no Hippocampus… NO LIFE!

    Well their have beed Trillions of $ GIVEN to psych. and Drug companies. In OZ the Gov. pays ALL quacks. Pays the Drug Cartells to Make the Rot, then Buys it off them? WHY do they, the Gov. want to have us worse than Dead? WHY?

    You know the Fluride is in the Water also to Dumb the Population Down? Yes the Germans used it on the Jews in WW11 for that reason.If it did NOT work Hitler would destroy the Country of its origin. It also causes Cancer, bad Teeth & Bones… NOT used in France, they have low Cancer, High Smoking Interesting.

    In Britton they use Recycled Water, their is a lot of “Antipsychotic” “Medication” & “Mood stabilizer” DECERIBATING CHEMICALS in the Water, a mass dumming down.

    I bet it is not in the Rich Sector, no they supply it. For they are already Brainless… Their is also Synthetic Female Hormones in it I heard, this will shrink the Penis…

    Eat Whale, The Japanese travel all that way… to Kill Whale as they believe eating it will make the Penis grow? Many are not eating it any more, as they still have only 1 to 9″.

    I do not know, I looked at much Japenese Porn, the Penises are VERY SMALL (4″), and these are “Pornstars.”
    Same as any “medication”, Faith healing, & the Placebo effect all it has (HYPE).

    I believe only in Penicillen.

    Their was NOTHING wrong with me, then I was drugged now I have nothing. Polypharmacy, IATROGENIC ILLNESS.

    AS ARE MOST OTHERS PSYCHIAL, AND ALL MENTAL, UNLESS A CAR ACCIDENT.

    WHY ARE THEIR MORE DESEASES OF ALL KINDS EACH YEAR, IS IT DUE TO THEIR BEING MORE Drs? WANT A “GOOD INFECTION” GO TO ITS’ HABITAT “HOSPITAL” YOU WILL GET ONE,OR HAVE AN OP. IT IS THE SICKNESS TRADE. NURSES TELL ME SO.

    IQ fell from 190 @ to 133, To last one I was told I am Homer J Simpson. GREAT JOB!

    I now have NO mind. I am a left Brained Moreon. Mearly 10 Times better than any psych. A Billion times better Moraly.

    I was a Whole Human, a Da-Vinci, now I am better off Dead.

    The first Pill made for “treatment” was said to be “The Lobotomy in a Pill.” At least then they where honest.

    Then Electroshock “Therapy” it is AGAINST the Geneva Convention. Yet in “Hospital” it is STILL Done to us? WHY? I have seen & heard it done in the Ward, why FURTHER Destroy an ABUSED INTENTIONALY DAMMAGED BRAIN? Mearly to inflict further, different more long lasting Dammage. FOR FUN.

    They are SADSISTS! The WORSE they make us, the more Money they make. No Ca$h in a Healthy Mind, is there? Not for you either.

    Proffessors of psych. tell me they also believe the “medication” causes the Brain Dammage, hence the symptoms. (AS if they do NOT Know)? They invented it!

    Anyhow the Proffessors told me their are NO “Drug Virgins to test.” ODD?

    Their are NONE as when the psych gets you, BEFORE Diagnosis you are ASSULTED with a Barrage of Vile Drugs, then you are lables, as in MY case. QED Polypharmacy, ATROGENIC!

    They know not yey HOW the “medication” works. NOR what it does? HOW then is it LEAGAL to FORCE it into us?

    It mearly Deceribates us, as it is designed to.

    We tell the psych organism: “I am much better now… Thank you.” AS that is what it wants to hear, and in saying this, you can get off it & RID your life of the psych. UNTILL the psych. can record you say this, so as to claim “Success” you will be in the psych. ward, getting worse each Day. COMMON KNOWLEDGE!

    Some psychs. have told me: “No Pill or injection will change you, or any others, let alone anything else. Nor can I change you.” So what is the point of it? Davo?

    Must leave now to see my Nurse, she is Very Nice. kEEPS THE pSYCHOS Criminaly insane away.

    Why do you only post that what you “pen?”

    Why do you have no rebuttal?

    I have MUCH more, I have studied these Unmentionables over 8 Years, I will write a Thesis.

  34. Dear Dave ,yur thought on Stand Strong Like A Tree is very true in the reality of everyday life ,as it breezes thru the rush of our lives ;in fact reading about what u wrote brought to light about what ive been going thru ,but then i think ,gee i’m so blessed in my life, even though going thru so much ,its still not as bad as whats happening across the ocean in our holy lands up to date ,i stop n pray for them ;as all of us should ;thats Standing Strong ,not just for me alone but for all of us n our Country hoping and praying God will keep America Strong ,for We The People coming together make adiffrerence !!!!thanks Dave (Celia Wooldridge Poetry Writer 2004-2008

  36. do have any idea what you say by stand strong like a tree what you should be saying is stand strong as long as you can as long as it don’t get you in a serious situation like getting beat up or hurt by a bipolar person believe me i know i have 2 children that are bipolar and today i got beat up by the oldest one and i stod strong and i know i had to but i am feeling badly that i did because some bipolar persons cannot help their anger problems. and we all need to learn that we need to be strong but we can only endure so much abuse also

  37. Well, I see Troy has crawled out of the woodwork again! It must be a full moon. David, why do you let these nutters impose their insane beliefs upon the good people of this blog. Trust me, these people are waaay crazier than any bipolar sufferer could ever be!
    Both TROY and KEITH….GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. i totally agree try and have 2 chidren and a husband that are bipolar and my kids are medicated but their father refuses treatment believe me we have been there done that and still he refuses try and deal with 2 kids that don’t understand why dad is always wigging out and try and get them to stay calm its a neverending battle i agree totally be strong as a tree but be as flexable also somedays i dunno how i make it through the day

  39. Dave, I’ve been dealing with my nephew’s BP since 2005, now he is seventeen and I do see some improvement. Last Thursday his new psych dr. changed his meds, not dosage but when given. He said that we wouldn’t see any difference but, I had to call the sheriff today because he started destroying my house. I appreciate your supportive e-mails and information on this disorder without it, I would be lost. I have learned so much in a short time, someday I’m hoping my darling nephew will be able to control his symptoms and manage his life with success, I do everything to educate him on this disorder and help him find ways to manage it.
    Thank you so much for your help and support there are those of us that rely on you for honest info and encouraging words

  40. YES I THINK IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO STAY STRONG LIKE YOUR TREE…LIFE CAN SEND YOU A LOT OF CURVE’S TO DEAL WITH AND BELIEVE ME I HAD MY SHARE I ALSO FOUND OUT YESTERDAY THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS DIAGNOSE WITH BIPOLAR SO IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO STAY STRONG

  41. I don’t know about anyone else….but, I would love to read Troy’s thesis….just kidding! It would probably be like reading “War and Peace.” Before bedtime, that is. I would not need Ambien CR to go to sleep. Maybe that is the cure to chronic insomnia.

    I think it is good that everyone has free speech in this country. We can say and write what we want without it being censored. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.

    If someone like Keith were to read more about Bipolar, he would not write before he is informed. The man is talking about a subject in which he has no knowledge. Keith is a fool.

  42. I agree about being strong like a tree. Trees bend and sway but they still come back. Some times it is hard and it takes me a bit and a lot of deep breathes but I keep going. I am a bipolar/ schizophrenia adult supporter.

  43. Hi David
    I agree totally with you regarding standing strong like a tree.I myself I get many negative things thrown to me, I do feel frustrated at times, but I just keep my cool and it makes me become stronger and thinking about all the positive things you always say to me. Some people gets angry at you because they always thinks negative and they lose interest with their loved one because they cant cope with the sickness. They dont have enough faith and understanding within themselves.
    God bless you for all the good things you are doing.
    Ange

  44. Hello Everybody,

    HALT! WHAT’S GOING ON? I thought that there was a Moderator working now on this Blog to prevent abuse? Keith and you other negative people, please stop abusing the system here.

    Far from avoiding Life, I’ve just had to face up to it’s realities and the losses, as in the recent death of my beloved Doberman, where out of courage and kindness I had to sign his ‘Death Warrant’ the other day and hold him whilst he was Euthanised. I knew that I had to be strong for him, as I needed to have a wee twice on the way to the Vets and could only imagine the suffering that he was going through from being unable to eliminate his Urine. Although he appeared to be perking up and was quite upbeat in mood, I asked for guidance from the Head Vet and he gave me the answer that I’d been dreading.

    Although he’s now buried amongst previous pets, my Border Collie and I still sense him around and I’ve been cuddling his blanket in bed, to sniff his scent for comfort. As an animal rescuer, I’ve been through this many times before, but it doesn’t get any easier.

    I’m about to help Martin with a few jobs to take my mind off things and tonight I’ve got to prepare myself for the Operation tomorrow, provided that the Hospital has a bed available. Hopefully it’ll be okay and I’ll be sorted out tomorrow, as I want to be able to exercise again and get back to as normal a life as I can and post-poning it will be annoying, to say the least.

    Nightlady, I’ve left an e-mail message for you on the previous Blog, but I suggest that you give your partner the ultimatum that he’s got to choose between you and his Ex. It’s not healthy that she keeps meddling in your lives, especially as she has such a bad effect upon him. I realise that you’ll be scared that he might choose her, but if he does then he’s certainly not worth your love and you can do much better. You’ve tolerated far more than is necessary and to help you, I suggest that you borrow the following book from the Library. “Women Who Love Too Much” by ‘Robin Norwood’. It’s assisted me because I’ve been holding on in relationships out of fear that I’ll be on my own because of my Bipolar and excess weight gained through the medications, but it reminded me that I’m a nice person who DESERVES to be loved, just the way that I am, so it’s taken pressure off me and my less anxious attitude has made my partnership with Martin a lot easier.

    Actually, I reckon that the above book should be on the Curriculum of children in schools to help them to avoid unhealthy alliances and recognize danger signals BEFORE they get involved.

    Take care all,

    Sue and all the animals. x

  45. I live with a wife I lovw with all my heart, she is my mate for life. She may have a sickness called bi-ploar and manic, but she is my sunshine every day. My tree is the Lord Jesus, He gives me the hope of a cure some day. He gives me the rock I can stand on. My wife just went thrue a bad cycle, and this time it did throw me off, and I started to take it at heart, but see that is it, I know the real women I love, she has a beautiful love for me, and I for her. Some day we we will be in heaven togther, and all will be grand. To who come here, Love for you, you will be in my prayers

  46. I agree with “FREE SPEECH”, but it should not be abused, especially when it is used in ignorance and to hurt others. I thought this blog was intended to HELP bipolar sufferers and their supporters, not hurt their feelings and upset them.
    Whatever happened to the saying “If you dont jave something of value to say, then SHUT UP”…
    You may call it free speech, I call it verbal diarrhea.

  47. I agree with you on having to be strong as we can when we support someone with bi-polar. It’s eaisier said then done. I have only been doing this for two years but I told my friend I was here with him through this journey no matter how hard it got. And today I want to throw in the towel….but I keep standing strong. I have to…He has been off his meds for two years now and I am scared for him. What am I suppose to do. He is three hours away and he will not let me in his life full time. All I can do is be here when he needs me but you are right it is time I start taking care of me and it is going to be what I do this year……take care of me also…thanks for your emails they mean the world to me and have helped me so much…thanks a million….

  48. Hey Keith first thing I am probably guessing that your grade on your paper wasn’t very good. Next,maybe you are the loser maybe u should get ur head out of ur a_ _ and really see what supporters of bipolar people go thru. I find ur intellect to be greatly lacking! And yes we need to be like a tree but there are the times when every branch on my tree has almost touched the ground. And this seems to be that time. I know that I am not alone but I feel like I have done all I can do for my daughter. I really don’t know how much more I can do.

  49. Hello everyone. I have been receiving and reading info from Dave for a few months after searching the internet for awhile trying to find anything that would help me to cope. This is my first trip to reading the blog and it is comforting to a degree to read and hear about the triumphs and struggles of others in my position. I am a supporter of my daughter, aged 26 who was diagnosed as BP about 4 years ago. She has a five-year old daughter and 9 year-old son who love her dearly and want to stay with her. I don’t know if that’s the best thing for them although I understand their desire. My daughter has had all our lives on an emotional roller-coaster because she is in denial about having this disease, goes on and off her meds and treatment plans and only seeks help after she’s hit the ‘brick wall’ that eventually and inevitably happens repeatedly when she refuses to do those things necessary to keep her life as stabilized as possible. Largely because of her illness, I believe, she has been unable to hold a job for any reasonable length of time making it impossible for her to support herself and her children. I am the only member of my family who tries at all to understand and support her. Everyone else has long since given up out of pure frustration and exhaustion and call me a fool for continuing to try. I’ve heard it said that the one person who tries to help is the main one who suffers all the anger and abuse of the diagnosed person and the Lord knows I’ve been there, done that, read the book AND saw the movie! At this point, I have some harsh realities to face and some hard decisions ahead of me. The main reason I continue to support my daughter is to try and be a buffer between her and the children. She has NO patience and when she is feeling depressed or agitated which is most of the time without the meds; the children are cursed and screammed at, threatened, belittled, treated badly and I’m sure that any social work professional would consider her parenting skills gravely lacking and her treatment of these kids pure abuse. She shows them love briefly and intermittently between mood swings and bouts of depression, which I am sure is frustrating and confusing for them and I am really concerned for their emotional well-being. I see no hopes for any consistent, ongoing positive change without her staying on her meds and staying in contact with her case manager, doctor and other professionals that provide necessary information, counsel and support. Her husband has grown weary of it all and has moved on with his life with a new girlfriend. Since they can’t even communicate without an argument or screaming match even for the sake of the children, he choses to just send money for support, because trying to deal with her on any level is infuriating to say the least. Being a BP supporter has greatly impacted me and continues to wreak havoc in my life. I struggle to find any peace or enjoyment and find it difficult to have a satisfying or happy life seperate from my accepted responsibilities of trying to hold things together for my daughter and her children.
    Dave, your message about being strong like a tree was just what I needed to hear today and I am so grateful and thankful for the information and support you give. It is a Godsend to have somewhere to turn when you feel like you are surrounded by hopelessness and despair. And, to the people who come here to post negative comments and opinions……. find another outlet and leave this place for those of us who WANT to be here and enjoy the benefits of doing so. I pray for all of those who suffer from this disease and those of us who support them.

  50. I like the comparison with trees. I often think I’m like a hazel tree – physically not very strong, but making up for it with a very strong spirit and determination. I never give up. Never mind how many times I’m beaten and cut down I’ll always get up and grow again. Like a hazel or a willow, I have been uprooted many times and adapt easily to new environments.

    SUSIE, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. I have also experienced this many times, mainly with cats. I have found the easiest way to get over the loss of a beloved pet is to get a new one asap, but one that is totally different to the one you have lost. This will take your mind off the loss, while you won’t be comparing the new to the old one. You can never get a replacement. It has always worked for me. So, I would suggest to get a different type of dog, maybe a greyhound or an alsatian or whatever, anything but another Doberman. Also, a new dog will be company for your collie, who must be pining for his/her friend.

    As for my man and his ex, it’s a long complicated story. He has already made his choice. He does not have sex or any sort of intimacy with her, though I’m sure she keeps trying. They have known each other a long time and she recently (thought she) needed his help with something and got him to run errands for him, as he is a very helpful caring person. She is extremely manipulative, obsessive and a control freak and often gets him to feel sorry for her. She can be dangerous and a potential “bunny boiler.” He would never admit it, but he is scared of her in some way. The main danger is that she could throw him into another episode by causing him a lot of stress. I would really like her to keep out of our lives, but unless she were to move to Australia (or another planet) that isn’t likely to happen.

    I hope and pray that your operation goes well with a minimum of stress and a speedy recovery.

  51. Thanks Dave we supporters need to hear that
    after the holidays I am exhausted emotionally
    and physically and after reading your email
    I said to myself YES I do have to stand strong
    for my kids and myself
    thanks and keep up the good work
    Kathy

  52. I have been reading about your web site and unfortunately for me it is to late. I lost my 19 year old son 4 years ago to suicide. I never had him diagnosed the went off to college for 3 nonths and when he came home for the holidays he took his life. I have been trying to understand how I missed that he was sick. I was always avery strong leader. He had been drinking alchol more than I realized but I had no idea that he was suffering from depression or bi-plar disorder I feel terribles as his mother that I did not see how sick he was until it was to late. CAn you give me insight as to how quickly some one can have a seious change in behavior. A very sad mother

  53. To LYDIA: Your story saddened me, as I empathize with your enduring pain. Actually, there is NO way to predict a sudden change in a loved ones personality; perhaps something happened to your son while he was away at school, and his coming home just added to it. Nineteen years old is very young to be “called Home,” but bipolar disorder symptoms begin to show in the early 20s; mine began AT the age of 20. I am now 60 years old, and have had this distressing disease for 41 years. A combination of medications, seeing the right doctors, and following a treatment plan has helped me cope. I have my “days” when things don’t always go well, but I trust in the Lord and pray a lot that things will change.

    Grief can be an on-going emotion, but it’s time you gave it to the Lord. Attend a Bereavement Group (I did; I lost 2 husbands, and the group helped me cope); talk to your clergyman; read the Scriptures. Prayer can be a BIG help during grief; we all grieve in different ways, but four years is a LONG time to have this horrible event weigh on you. See a counselor to help you through it. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Lydia. May the Good Lord’s grace and mercy see you through this inexplicable and tragic event.

  54. no doubt those coming here illiciting anger and violence towards others are kind of a drag, but hey, we’ve faced far worse. the analogy of being like a tree is useful, but i also find that my responses are what one would expect out of a tree: silence. sometimes i either don’t know what to say or am tired of saying things over and over again. i think that it’s partially due to an energy thing, i get tired of responding to either the bp behavior or the anxiety that follows. time to take dave’s advice and exercise.

    anyway, i too am writing a paper. but it has more to do with the psychological impact on bipolar supporters than bpd itself. don’t know at this point where it will go, or how it will turn out but it’s all interesting. thanks dave, and thank you to all who come here with good intentions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *