Bipolar Supporter – When You Know What You Want

Hi, how’s it going for you today? I hope things are going good for you.

Remember when you were younger, and you wanted something so bad you almost couldn’t stand it? Like at Christmastime, getting that one present you wanted more than anything else.

Then, as you get older, you may have the same strong desire for something, but you can’t always count on someone else providing it for you. Some things you have to do for yourself.

When you know what you want, and you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it. That’s what happens when you’re an adult. No more Santa Clause. Just you. And your ability to attain what you desire.

First, though, you need to know what you want.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder? Say you want things to be less stressful at home.

Say you want it very badly. Well, no one is going to do the work for you – you first of all have to want it bad enough, and second of all, want it bad enough to do what it takes to attain it.

So you might think of ways to make your home environment more peaceful. You might brainstorm some ideas and then act upon them. You can’t just wait on your loved one to do it for you, because they may either not see the same need, or acknowledge it, or be willing or able to do it like you can.

I know, that sounds like it’s all on you to do the hard work…But sometimes you have to pick

up the slack from your loved one. That is, if it’s something you want bad enough.

Again, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Like stability.

If your loved one wants stability bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to attain it. And that may be what you want as well. Although you can’t make your loved one do what they have to do to attain stability…You can do your part.

You can help them remember to take their medications. You can see that they get to all their appointments. You can make sure that they stay productive, even if that means writing up a To-Do List for them. You can go to your own support group and find out how other supporters are dealing with their loved one’s bipolar disorder.

In other words, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do what it takes to get it.

That doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t ask for help. In fact, if you don’t ask for help, you may suffer burnout, trying to do everything yourself. On the other hand, you don’t want to do for your loved one what they can do for themselves. You have every right to expect them to participate in what they can.

Like the example I used of keeping a stress-free home environment. They can help with that, too.

Can you think of an example of something you wanted so bad you were willing to do whatever it

took to get it? That’s the right attitude you (and your loved one) need to have toward bipolar stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,


  1. I am sure there are others with the same situation as me, but, mine feels a bit unique. It’s a long story, but, my daughter, who is 26 does not live with me. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and has chosen to take out all of her anger on myself and her 22 yr. old sister. I have no way of supporting her, as she will not take my calls, or respond to text messages or e-mails. I have no way of knowing if she is taking her medication. I worry about her daily, and there is a hole in my heart where the loving, caring daughter I knew use to be. I built my world around her and her sister, and this hurts more than I ever thought anything could.

  2. I am sad for Diane. (She is the first comment posted.)Her sorrow is deep and real, but there is hope in that kind of love.
    Hers is a unique situation.
    She supports (wants to) her daughter.
    I support my husband.
    Dave supports his mom.
    They are all unique situations. What we have in common is the deep desire to find a way to overcome the challenge the best.
    Its not easy. And it takes deep commitment.
    The method to overcome Bbi-Polar Disorder is to research and test coping skills to find the right ones for your unique situation.
    Dave’s daily email is one of my most recent resources. He has provided me support to help me support my loved one which benefits my Whole Family.
    This message is blessedly like a checklist for me. As I read it, I feel like I am verifying to myself task by task, suggestion by suggestion, that Dave and I couldn’t both be wrong about so many of the same things. Which reassures me that I am on the right path most of the time lately.
    Thank you Dave. Keep it coming!
    Here’s to another New Year. 2010

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