Remember back in school…There were some students who got A’s…And some students who got C’s. And for those C students, it didn’t matter how much they tried or studied, they just weren’t A students. In other words…There was just a limit to what they could do. There are other kinds of limits in life as well. For example…We have speed limits. Those are rules that are imposed on us for our own (and others’) safety. And we have to obey those limits, or else we’ll get a ticket. There are also endurance limits. In other words…There is only so much that your body will tolerate before it will react. So, like, if you’re under a lot of stress and anxiety
for a long period of time, your body may react with stomach problems or migraines…Or, at worst, when it’s reached its absolute limit…You will have a heart attack or stroke. Especially if you have pushed it to its limits by doing other unhealthy things by eating wrong (being overweight) and smoking.
Well…People also can have their limits. Like when they’re dealing with a loved one with
bipolar disorder. One of the things I talk about with people is that you have to have a lot of patience when you’re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder.
But what do you do when that patience is stretched to its limit? What can you do when you feel like you don’t have any patience left for your loved one? Do you just stretch the boundaries even further? Do you keep allowing them to continue the behavior? Do you keep stuffing your feelings? Do you walk around on eggshells, not wanting to make any trouble? Do you keep everything inside, not wanting to take the chance of making them even worse? Aren’t you sick of them laying around on the couch all the time? What about them spending money you can’t afford for them to spend? What about their lying all the time?
Now ask yourself: Is it worth it? If you are stretched to your limit…And you are the one getting sick…Is it worth stuffing your feelings…And walking around on eggshells…In fear of making your loved one worse? Ask yourself: What about me? What about my needs? Because you, and your own needs, are just as important as your loved one and their needs! And if you have been doing the above things…And if you are stretched to your limit…And if it is starting to manifest itself in physical ways…Then you do need to do something about it, before it gets worse. Because then you could wind up as sick as your loved one…Or even worse. Like I said earlier…
You could even wind up with a heart attack or stroke from the stress and anxiety. Do you want that to happen? No, you don’t. You may think that keeping your feelings from your loved one is protecting them in some way, helping them, but it actually isn’t. It isn’t helping them, because it isn’t helping you. In fact, it is actually hurting you. And it is hurting the relationship between you, because you aren’t being honest. And honesty in a relationship is very important, especially when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder.
So you need to own up to your feelings. Somehow…You need to tell your loved one how you are feeling. They need to share the burden. If there is something they can do to help the situation, then they must do it. But they can’t do anything to help you, if you don’t first tell them what they can do. You need to tell them, because they’re not a mind-reader. Let them help you, like you help them.
Well, I have to go!