1. Post responses below

2. your news letters have been very useful for me a grand mother trying to understand bipola in childern my grand daughter now 15 has been told she has it I do not see clasic singsshe is havely medicated she will go long streches and then yell scream and sometimes even hit some one due to continued tripsto diffrent hospitals She is getting behind in her education Department of child and family has steped in yet they seem clueless and have repeatly stated that the need to get her behavior under control how do you do this when yhey have not gotten her meds under control she takes five kinds of meds one to sleep three to alter her mind they call them mood altering and one for the damage being done to her thiroid

3. dear david–i read your articles and many others I forward them to people in the hopes that others will see them and view them sometimes i think i forget to attach the websites address and hope that noone accuses me of copyright or plagiarisn as i take alot of meds for bipolar–i live in a rural area and i am trying to find a dr who believes that people gont need a lot of medications and i have managed to obtain a degree and i love your articles they give me hope and inspiration everyday for a new beginning in life with truth honesty equality for everyone and with all the support from you and others like myself and God maybe someday we will all have a better future take care

4. Dear Dave,

   Your artical today was right on the mark. I never planned to have mental illness. I have two disorders and they are a challenge every day. I don’t work and haven’t since 2004. I had a life time of jobs that started off good and I just sabataged them one by one. I look forward to your emails every day. I am glad your feeling better. Thank You for having such a caring heart. Take Care!!

5. Hi Dave,

   Sorry I have been gone so long. I have been B-U-S-Y!

   Anyway, I always say, “The only thing we can be certain of in life is Uncertainty”! While in school, they did little to nothing to plan for, or be prepared for all the things life can throw at us. I wish they would cause life is certainly unpredictable, and our stance has to be one of “I’m ready for anything to happen”. I make plans, but never expect them to go as planned. That way I am happy if things work out as planned, which by the way seldom happens, I am not frustrated if they go differently, which happens most of the time, and I am not disappointed if things turn our badly. I know anything can happen. I do not base my future plans counting on very many things. Being prepared is the name of life’s game if you ask me, always carry a back-up parachute, always have a plan “B” or “C” and “D” if you can.

   If I were to make an outline of all the major events in my life, I would be up to about 75 by now. LOL? I had over 50 jobs, all of which I could not keep. Being on disability sure wasn’t my plan, or goal in life, but I don’t let it be the end of the road for me either. I had to change my definition of successful along the way. Now if I accomplish ONE goal I consider myself successful… Now that I have accomplished many goals, I am very successful. Being successful can mean accomplishing goals as we go through life, rather than having it be, “having made a million dollars”, or “having raised a successful family”, now I consider myself a success that I have written a book, that I found the medication that keeps me stable, and has for four years going on five now. You get the idea. Being successful is a state of mind that we can achieve by climbing the ladder through-out life. Each rung we successfully climb makes us successful.

   I wish they would have taught that in school!

   Bob

6. You sure hit the nail on the head today, Dave! I was a VERY successful student in high school, and had just started on my career in the Senate in Washington, D.C., something I had worked VERY hard for all my life. Then suddenly, it was taken away from me; that, and my fiance left me; I lost my apartment; and had the “rest cure” on the psychiatric ward of the hospital! I suddenly had a “mental illness.” THAT changes the whole equation/outline, doesn’t it…

   I’ve been on Social Securitiy Disability since 1991; my therapist tells me I can NEVER work again. “Stress” is my hobgoblin – and with “stress” being in just about EVERY working situation, there’s nothing I can do in a 9-to-5 environment without “losing it.”

   Have I had to make adjustments? You betcha! After 3 hospitalizations in my 20s, I came to the realization that I was a “victim” of bipolar disorder – something there is no cure for. But – I’ve worked HARD with my psychiatrist/therapist, taking my medications religiously, and trying to follow a treatment plan as far as sleep patterns are concerned. It takes a DAILY effort to bring a semblance of order into my life. While I don’t relish being on the government’s dole roll, I couldn’t EXIST without it. As a staunch Republican, I have never believed in going through the government for a “hand-out,” but working by the sweat of my brow for what I earn. But – now I’m resigned to my fate, and try to live with it.

   Bob has the right attitude – you can PLAN for something, but you better have a Plan B, or C, or whatever, because being bipolar can screw up the grandest of plans. There are screw-ups in daily life, even for “normal” people who can handle them. When life throws me a curve, I sometimes have panic attacks and anxiety, and no pill can compensate for those. I just withdraw, and start over.

   Thanks for a well-written email this morning, Dave. I’m glad you’re feeling a little bit better. Try honey for your throat!!

   BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.

7. Dear Dave,
   You wrote this email on the side of the supporter, but I can see how it also affects the survivor, as well.

   I have far from the ‘normal life’ as stated in your outline. I think I got to stage VI when my life totally fell apart. I finished grad school, worked for a company for 20 years, but was laid off, too young to call it a career, never married, never bought a house, will never have grandchildren, but I possibly may grow old, if I am not successful in killing myself, first.

   I am 45 and over half my life is over. I have to figure out a way to find another job, start another career and hopefully meet a companion someday who will make me happy. I am too old for children now so I will not be a parent or grandparent. But, I currently have a great 5 year old niece.

   My therapist tells me that I have ‘serious mental illness.’ I was diagnosed only six years ago after the death of my father, who I was close to. I never suffered with depression, bipolar or multiple suicide attempts until 2002. I had a great, happy and fulfilled life. Then, one day, my world came crashing down and I have not yet been able to put the pieces back together.

   I do think people who have normal, happy lives follow your outline. But obviously, no one’s life is perfect. Everyone has ups and downs. I suppose it is how one recovers from the downs of life is te most successful. The people who have had multiple downs in their lives, like me, are the ones who have the most difficulty recovering back to normal.

   I have found that my family ‘supporters’ who discovered I have a mental illness and many life problem s have criticized me for whatever I have done in my life. As if it is all my fault; I am the only one to blame. The moment I asked for help is the time my supporters all left me and told me I was ‘crazy’ and could not even help my own self. I could go on and on about them, but I suppose it is a lost cause.

   I agree with Bob. We do need a Plan B and C if the original plan does not work out. We need to accept failure and try something else. We need to move on and not get stuck. We are our own best supporter.

8. One thing I have learned as I have gone thru life is I must plan to have my plans changed. Very few of my “lifetime plans” have gone as I had planned so I have learned to “suck it up” and go with the flow instead of fighting for a plan that will never be as I had planned it!

9. David
   I would like for you to not only post about being a supporter of a bi-polar person but about someone who has bi-ploar. I would like to understand what I need to look for when I am going to go through an episode. I cannot afford to buy the material.
   Thanks Cheryl

10. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. After the 1st year he started having physical problems and couldn’t go back to work at all. Then about a year ago, he started having a lot of problems. I thought it was depression since we moved an he was away from his adult children. There were ups and downs and arguements. He finally went to a psychiatrist last week and was diagnosed with bipolar, along with explosive anger, and one other one. He is now going to be on medication he should be on. Now maybe our lives will be a little easier. He would go from being nice and gentle to angry and slamming doors maybe 10 minutes later. And the spending of money, he wouldn’t exactly go an buy, but he expected to get what he wanted or would be mad about not being able to get it. Then when you told him what money was left, he was angry because he thought I was spending to much, but he expected me to get what he wanted when he wanted or throw a fit. He had a wife with bipolar that he was married to for 26 years. He knew what it was like living with her, so he was willing to go to get a true diagnosis. He is 62 years old and probably had it way before now. The doctor said it is hereditary and I think that when he was on pain medication an had to take so much of it at one time, that after that his behavior was worse. Now it is just a matter of him taking the medications. He doesn’t like anything that makes him sleep all the time. Hopefully none of what he will be on will do that. I know what he is like when he isn’t on the roller coaster, I hope we can have more of those days so there will never be a divorce as you have mentioned has happened a lot with bipolar people.

11. thanks for this morning article. Right on track is the msg you wrote.
    It is really difficult IF we as supporters don’t have multitudes of plans or just go with the flow.
    It’s never been easy living with my son but due to the heridity factor; I have lived with parents, siblings, spouse and my son with this disability all of my life. And tho I have not had any personal problems with this disabilty nor been diagnosed with this myself; maybe I was the one of the batch that did not inherit it . Apparently my life has been to be a supporter : lifelong training I guess ! I don’t think I am impervious to the anger outbursts; I just go with it and do my best to stay low key or neutal.
    So far that approach has worked. Maybe one day it won’t. So; IMO, if it’s not broke: it does not get fixed. The rest I try to work out with my son and the rest of the family during their episodes. Most of the time I stay far , far away. 🙂
    Thanks Dave, for every article you write to inspire us all.
    Hope you toss that cold off quickly.

12. Dave I love the responses. I am a supporter of sorts. My wife is currently on assignment in Florida while I take care of things at home in Pennsylvania. We have two kids together and she has a daughter from a previous relationship. It’s difficult to be a supporter when you have a wife that travels. But I am fully aware that she doesn’t follow through on her meds or therapy when she travels. I have insurance that covers her mental health and she is reluctant to take advantage of it. When she’s on her meds she is always tired. When she’s not, she exhibits behavior that has affected our relationship. Especially the part of excessive involvement in pleasurable activites. She recently confided that she has engaged in an activity that shot the hell out of any chance of reconcilliation. I could forgive her but what purpose would it serve. The part of supporting someone with bipolar disorder isn’t worth the e-screen you put it on when the person who has the disorder is not willing to execute on fulfilling their side of the equation. To those who support God bless you. For those who have tried and failed, move on. Why stress yourself about trying to be perfect for someone who doesn’t give a rat’s behind about themselves.

    Freedom, at last…………………., but I have the two little ones which will be enough to fill my days for the next sixteen years or age seventy for anyone that’s interested.

13. Unfortunately for the girlfriend of the bipolar man, I have moved to another city and took a job that he does not know where I work. I send him a paycheck a month for phone or crisis money. He loves me one minute and tells me to die the next day. He won’t take any medicine but does get a disability because he has tried to end his life 5 times. He owns a gun and threatens to use it on himself daily. I am scared all the time he will die. Your articles are the only link to my sanity I have. Most people tell me to stop even talking to him. But my heart tells me otherwise. Thank you for your kindness, Dave.

14. Dear Dave
    I am a bi-polar supporter. My loved one takes meds, and goes to a specialist once a month. He has been depressed since end of August. He sleeps most of the day and all night. He does not study, work, and hardly ever helps with household chores. He does not want to speak about the situation. I feel depressed too because I do not know how to help him.

15. I am new to this site and reading all of these responces litterally brings tears to my eyes. I have been trying to help my daughter deal with her bi polar and I dont even know where to start. I have been living in denile for so long thinking it was a teen phase, then another phase, then to the doctor for the dreaded diagnosis. Then another trip on “D Nile” thinking the pills would make her better. WRONG again. My outline has never stayed on course. I am learning to bend and roll with the flow and it isnt easy, but the worst part is that if its this hard on me I just couldnt begin to imagine how hard it is on my baby girl. I am now trying to do as much as I can to try to help her. It is good to know that I am not alone, but in the same breath Im sorry Im not. There is just too much suffering out there. Thanks for listening

16. I went to see my son and tried to talk him into getting help and that he could come home and we would help him. I said the wrong thing. He was so angry and said he wasnt going to no doctor or having medication that would make him dopey and his life is stuffed and no one can fix it. I tried to explain to him that there is help if he would only take the first step. He told me not to come and see him anymore as I just make things worse.
    What am I to do now. I feel like a failure because I cannot get through to him and I have my other son who will accept help and guidance from me who is also bi polar and my husband so I have to keep working and try to work though their problems as well as keep my self happy.
    What is the answer??

17. I cried so much last night because I am supporter of two bipolar people who are so dear for me.
    After chaving a crisis in our home last night your massage was like a glass of cold water in a hot day
    for a thirsty man. Thank you Dave and have a good time.

18. Dear Dave,
    Hope your feeling better, I know my life schedule did not turn out the way i had planned, and I have learned to take it with a grain of salt. Nothing ever happens without a reason. I did not plan on having children so young but now i look back and think that nothing in the world could make me take them back.
    I never planne dto get a mental illness, but i guess thats what gives me half of my charm.
    I never planned to battle being sick all the time, but i guess thats what gives me the streaght to go on.
    So all in all life is what it is, take it as you will, and enjoy it while you can.
    Or atleat try because if you dont you will end up in a ball crying on the floor.

19. HI DAVE, I PRAY THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU FEELING MUCH BETTER, TRY AND GET SOME REST.
    GOD BLESS,
    MARSHA

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