Hey,
I was talking to my friend yesterday about people who
represent themselves in court.
There is the old adage, in legal field that describes a person who represents himself in court trial: “Has a fool for a client.”
Attorneys strongly recommend that they should handle all legal matters
for their clients and that clients shouldn’t attempt to be their own
attorney and handle legal matters on their own no matter how simple
they may be.
If you believe this, and you should, have you ever heard of or seen:
The person who tries to diagnose and treat him/herself with bipolar
disorder.
If you try to be your own doctor, you have a fool for a client.
I have seen this rather disturbing trend at support group meetings.
It goes like this. People jump on the internet and maybe get a
book or two. then all of a sudden, they believe they are experts
at diagnosing bipolar disorder.
Then, to make it even worse, these people go support groups
and diagnose each other and offer medical advice. Even though
NONE of them are doctors and have any training.
It’s the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever seen.
At meetings I hear stuff like: “Hey I took whatever medication and it
worked.” People will crowd around and say, “What medication was that?
I need to get on that. I need to get my loved one on that. Say
that again so I can write it down.”
Or, and this is even worse, people say: “I took this medication and
it did horrible things to me, my hair fell out, I gained a ton of weight,
my arms and legs fell off, I had all this bad stuff happen.”
If you’ve been to support group meetings, you know that people exaggerate
wildly about these things. That’s why I said the arms and legs part.
You know this is true if you’ve been to these groups.
If you find what I am saying offensive, remove link is at the bottom.
Then the same people crowd around and say, “Oh, my, I have to get off this medication.” Or something like: “Gimmie my cell phone, honey, I have to call so and so and warn this medication is bad. How do you spell
that medication again??”
When I hear this I am so disturbed. I do a ton of volunteering and I
hear this soooooooooooooooo much it makes my head hurt. I wish they
would BAN talking about medications at ALL support groups which
they can’t because we have the freedom of speech.
Well now that I think about it, that was dumb what I just said. I don’t
want “them” taking away freedoms. So I take that
back, I just wish people would stop treating and diagnosing themselves
when they have absolutely no clue.
Correct information is almost never passed at these meetings in regards
to treatments. And if some information is correct, the person who is
hearing it, isn’t good at taking notes, isn’t good at hearing what is
really said to write it down or isn’t organized and won’t be able to find
anything written down at a later date.
And remember, I am NOT doctor and I don’t play one on TV, and I am NOT
offering medical advice at all but, every one is different, what
works for one person might or might not work for another. You
can NOT treat and diagnose yourself. You or your loved one
MUST GO TO A QUALIFIED DOCTOR for a proper diagnosis. Period. End of story.
My mom’s doctor has told her she takes a combination of medication
that no one other client takes and that she has never seen this combination ever successfully work on anyone except my mom.
I hope you get the point that I am trying to make.
Only a QUALIFIED doctor can make this determination. One that went to
school, studied and graduated, (a real school, not a mail order school) should treat and diagnose. Not someone who went on the internet and spent
a few days “researching” bipolar disorder and picked up two books
at Barnes and Noble.
Unfortunately, you hear a lot of nonsense at support group meetings.
Now before anyone gets mad at me for making such a statement, I do
volunteer at them and have done so for two years now. I volunteer
WAY MORE than 99.9% of people so I think I have earned the right
to make these statements.
How many people do you know who volunteer at THREE different groups
for two years?
NOTE-I am not saying all support groups are bad and there is
no value in them, what I am saying is that many people are trying
to treat and diagnose at them and that’s not good.
If anything, when you are at support group meetings, you should be asking:
How to find a QUALIFIED doctor
How to interview a doctor
How to determine if a doctor is a good fit for you or your loved one
How to find the money to pay for a doctor
What you can do to help a doctor treat you or your loved one better
What kind of information you can provide a doctor to help with you
or your loved one’s diagnosis.
The material you will find in my course and system at:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
Now, I am not telling you to get my material. You don’t have to,
I am trying to point you in the right direction. You can go
get a bunch of books, interview people, and do what I did to
find the information yourself without getting my course.
Do whatever you think is easiest, fastest and would be most
beneficial for you. I don’t want you to think that I am “pushing”
my course on you.
You know what? In two years of volunteering in three places, NOBODY
has ever asked any of those questions. I can’t even believe it.
I hope you get my point. You can tell I feel strongly about this
stuff. If you worked for me and were one of my writers, you would
know how strongly I do feel about this. I harp on it almost
every day. If you ever talk to Michele Soloway, one of my key writers,
ask her, and she will tell you.
Well, hopefully you aren’t a fool for a client?
If you want a diagnosis, find a great doctor and pay him her. Don’t
be cheap either and focus on cost. That is, if you find a qualified
doctor and you feel he/she is expensive. Do something to afford him/her.
Don’t get all mad and say it’s not fair, the system is against me,
so on and so forth. Do whatever it takes
If you had brain surgery, would you be looking for a “deal” with the
doctor? No, you would want the best and do whatever you could to
afford it. And the good news is this, bipolar disorder is NOT
even close to the costs of surgery. So anyone can afford it. That’s
right anyone who is creative.
If you read through all my materials, you will clearly see that.
Oh by the way, people have written to me what a blog is. Go to
google and type in blog and you will learn about them. I am low
tech myself. I don’t even have an ipod 🙂
Dave
I just want to say dave; that your lessons means alot to my group that I have passed all the studies & comments onto my group. I think that you’re doin a wonderful job already. So; I hope U continue to do what you’re doin; & dont let any1 tell you that you’re not doin what U should be doin. U R doin what youre doin; becuzz it is a part of life.
Your friend;
Jeff!
Hello,
sometimes i think, that i´m really a fool :o(. I have a close online friend and he is bipolar. Took a long time till i found out whats wrong with him sometimes. He is a great guy when he is “normal” but it´s the “hell” when he has a manic or hypomanic phase. Not so long ago, he called me very bad names, without any real reason. We dont talk in the moment, because he has the stupid idea, that i want to hurt him and want to be mean to him, which is for sure not true. Sorry, if my english is not so good, but i´m not from the USA, my friend is. I hope, that i can get some good ideas here, how i talk to him best way when he is in a episode. It is really very difficult sometimes to make him not upset. I´m really very down in the moment and have the bad thought, never talk to him again. But then, i tell myself, that he is a man with a bad disease and that its not his mistake and that he dont do on purpose what he does sometimes.
Greetings
Sabine
Hi Dave…
I stumbled upon your site yesterday while searching for recipes – lol! Well, you have a recipe towards…is survival the right word?
I have suffered with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder throughout my life and throughout all its names, and attached assumptions. I guess I’m one of the ‘lucky’ ones: I am stable enough to have put myself (at 46)through University, with straight A’s and two degrees.
This has not been without extreme hardship and a lot of joy.
I teach now – and write, hoping to finish my first novel by this fall. The amount of idiots I have had to put up with regarding the ‘home remedy theories’ (and I count myself as being a past member of that group) is enough material for a novel by itself. “Have you tried St. John’s Wart? Oh, it’s a MIRacle herb!” Or, “Hey – this Paxil is making me manic – ya wanna trade a couple of your Welbutrin?” Yeah…and people call ME crazy…*Sigh*
I CAN say this…sometimes..just SOMEtimes…symptoms lesson. Mine have – for now. I’m always waiting to see if they’re lurking around the corner, and I still have episodes of temper-tantrums and weepy spells, but luckily they’re contained to small moments that I know will pass. More importantly, my husband does, as well. He no longer joins me on the roller coaster rides; he lets me pack my own bags and go on my own trip. He lends support, but watches from the sidelines and waves at me as I rush by. And, when I’m done with the ride, he’s there waiting for me, to put his arm around my shoulders and guide me back into life. He’s my monitor when I need one – I ask him if I’m making rational decisions (and I ask my family as well). I trust their answers and abide by their suggestions. They are not the enemy. My emotions and anger are not passed off lightly – my loved ones know what I’m feeling is very real and VERY important to me – and they give me validation without blaming hormones or mental illness. They DO steer me from harm and gently guide me back to where I need to be after my storm of emotions have passed.
It’s not easy some of the time, but MOST of the time life is good. And for that reason, I am blessed. And you Dave, are one of those people that makes living a productive life that much easier. You are also one of those blessings.
Thank you for all you do.
Teya
Dave I am sure you meant well with your comments but let tell you I would never send my child to a doctor who was not qulifed to treat bp disorder or put him on meds that were not right for him. I have struggled for five years trying to get answers and help my child. He is doing so much better now that he is on the right meds and he see’s his doctor twice a month as well a therpist and we have always got his best intrest at heart when we make any judgements concerning his health and well being. Thank you for your advice but I feel certien I makeing the rigt choices. I would never put my child on a med because some stranger at a support group told me about. I only talk about his meds with his doctor and not people who do not know what they are talking about.
Aloha,
May I just say at the outset how wonderful an exchange of information this site provides. I love reading its content.
I have an inquiry that I was only curious about. There is no pressing need.
Does anyone know if Bipolar is mostly found to occur in higher percentages peculiar to the United States?
Mahalo,
Denise
I attended support groups run by a doctor! There is a legal way to stop discussions about medication without a doctor present, it is calle dan agenda! If people do not follow the agenda, or rules for the meeting, they can be asked to leave. The freedom of speech only allows us to talk to other people outside of meetings, like neighbors, friends and family discussing issues in private! At meetings, you are allowed to set rules. Al-anon and AA have rules too.
thankyou dave I was dignosed with bypolar and severe deprsstion and then some. I do like reading your emails we are having a bit of a hard time right now, so for now I will try to get as much as I can from your emails, I am trying to get into a scholarssip treatment progrom right now, my son is helping me but I do like to read your stuff to so I hope I get somethin somethin. Thankyou again Juanita
I appreciate all the info coming from Dave. I realize he is not a Dr, however his insight goes way beyond medical help. I do see the need to seek medical advice in regards to my bipolar daughter, as well as support group help.
I’m steve and i’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict as of two months ago. I also have rsd/crps and of course am bipolar.
I believe in jesus christ whole heartedly and believe he can help me make it through this. But i know i also know i need to put my effort in their to. This message in no way corresponds to what anybody is saying , but i wanted some feedback from david oliver.
Hi David, I’m bipolar have been diagnosed since 1982, I have stayed on my meds for that long as well. I’ve been stable for 26 yrs. My problem is my husband is just now learning about my disease. He is severly depressed and unemployed as am I. I have in the past 6yrs. had a very hard time keeping a job I have had 16 jobs in that time. I have my BA in psych. I love to buy your book but we can barely make ends meet. I would really be greatful for any advice.your friend,Cyndi
Thanks David
You have given me soo much knowledge but I am not sure if I can deal with it?? I dread each day geting out of bed and finding myself sleeping most of the time???
Is this normal part of me wants to escape. I really admire you and all what you do. I just I had the same strenght.
Hello,
I just one say that I relate to the story Teya shared with your readers. My wife has bipolar I, at this time she is stable (not 100%) but getting there. it has been a rollercoaster as it has been described by many that suffer from this condition. Since the two years of her diagnose I have educated my self as much as possible regarding this disorder much of the reading and information I have obtained is from Dave’s website, and I just want to say to Dave that even if he gets rude calls from individuals not having a good day and perhaps not thinking with clarity, to not give up, the information you post is VERY valuable to some of us. I know this has helped me a great deal, at this time as many of your readers I have no funds to purchase your materials but plan to in the near future this will help me aid my spouse and my family to better deal with this disorder.
Anyway back to my comments to Teya. Like your husband I have learned to just sit on the side line and watch carefuly as my wife travels trough one of her episodes mostly irritability and some depression and ensure her that I’m there to help, additionally I’m getting better at not taking her actions and emotions personally (its hard) but I’m learning to cope with “our” disorder because its here to stay and its better to learn to deal with it than like many supporters I have heard of “pack and run for high ground” instead of dealig with an illness your love one suffers from.
Teya I wish you stability and health and thank you very much for sharing your input with all the readers, thank you Dave for a great job.
Your friend
bp supporter.
Hello David, I’m not sure if you’ll respond to my question but hey, it doesn’t hurt to give it a chance, right? Anyways, my boyfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder many years ago. He doesn’t take any medication for it though he does smoke pot. I’ve known him for about a year yet I’ve known of his disorder for about 2 months so as you see I am trying to learn about this amazing disorder. Let me go straight to my question: Normally, how often does a person with bipolar (mania) on no medication will experience episodes? Just for you to know, my boyfriend has pretty much almost all the symptoms of Manic Bipolar. He gets episodes about once a month, is this normal? or is it too frequent? Sometimes I feel he takes advantage of his “bipolar” but maybe he’s not, I don’t know? If possible, I appreciate your response. Thank you, gladys
This message is for Linda. What you are describing has been called “the great sleep” of bipolar depression. Been there, done that, missed 6 weeks of work. It takes a doctor and the right medicine to get out of that, and sometimes you have to try more than one. Just remember, as you deal from day to day and try to recover, you have to give yourself credit for every little thing you do, because everything is so hard. If you feel like lying in bed all day, but you get up and move to the couch, that’s better than nothing. If you get up and take a shower, that’s better than nothing. If you do half the dishes and have to go lie back down, that’s better than not doing any. You’ll get there.