Hi,
Hope you’re doing ok.
I was talking to this friend who was is a professional complainer. Unfortunately in mental health, there’s a lot of professional complainers. That’s why it’s my job to get these people more positive.
It’s odd in the last week, I have heard many people complaining about so many things that make no sense to me.
If you find yourself complaining a lot, seriously you have to look in the mirror and ask, “what can I do to make things better.” People get super mad when you say that to them because complaining people want you to go along with their complaints.
I always focus on the solution not the problem.
Okay, well, we have a new president.
It doesn’t matter who you voted for, or whether your candidate won or lost.
The fact remains, we still have a new president.
But some people are still complaining about the fact that Obama won! Now, how productive is that?
Seems like some people will complain about anything, no matter what.
But here’s another fact –
Anybody can be president – even YOU!
IF… they want to.
IF… they follow the right path.
IF… they meet the requirements.
IF… they campaign for it.
IF… they are voted into office.
The fact remains, though…
It IS possible!
Why, anyone can be a great pianist, too!
Like the old joke:
“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?”
“Practice, practice, practice!”
But it’s not really a joke.
You can be a great pianist IF you’re willing to do what it takes to be a great pianist.
So, just like being president, IF you want to be a great pianist, it IS possible!
IF you want to…
And IF you do certain things.
Now, in my courses/systems, I teach that stability is possible, too, IF you do certain things.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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Let me ask you something:
What did you want to be when you grew up?
The president?
An astronaut?
A ballerina?
A great writer?
An actor?
Then why aren’t you one of those things now?
Because you didn’t do what it took to become it.
Whatever you want to be, you have to do certain things.
So now let me ask you this:
Do you want to be stable with your bipolar disorder?
Then you need to do certain things, just like Obama did to become president.
· You have to learn about the disorder.
· You have to take your medication.
· You have to see your doctor.
· You have to see a therapist.
· You have to have a support system.
· You have to get good sleep.
· You have to eat a good diet.
· You have to exercise.
· You have to be productive.
· You have to have a positive attitude
· And other things.
In other words, you have to learn how to manage your bipolar disorder.
Agree or disagree?
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Having a plan is a good idea, and so is “practice, practice, practice.” I agree wholeheartedly.
However, we do not have a new President. We have a President-elect. Just needed to clarify that…
Dave,
All your topics are great, but once in a while you hit the jack pot. I hear many people complain “Why?” “Why, me or my loved one got bipolar disorder?” The question “Why?” is not a good question to ask because it has no answer. The question to ask it “What am I going to do about it now?” Now that question empowers us to do something about the situation and we take control of the situation.
Complaining is not productive. And usually when we complain, we are overlooking some very serious blessings. I am as guilty as anyone of complaining. I did it for the majority of my life. But I guess I kinda grew up one day as I suddenly realized we are sooooooo blessed. I can walk, I can talk, I can hear!!! ETC. These things we take for granted, our health, our water is pumped from the ground for us, we have our gas refined for us, the whole society works together to meet each other’s needs! What a miracle that is…
Why do I hear? Why do I speak? Other people can’t! Why can I walk around when others can’t. Let me tell you Dave, when I got the proper medication and adequate therapy, I suddenly realized “I” Had to take an active role in my recovery, and when I did, I got better. I complained for a good 10 years when I had to take disability. I thought, why can’t I work like normal people, why can’t I have good money, a wife, a family of my own, etc. But that just wasn’t in the cards for me at that time. I had to take my bipolar self by the boot straps and work however I could, find what I could do.
I now have 2 books in the publishing process, one that is almost ready and another on the way. But if I just sat around and kept complaining, I would never have written my 3 books! I am a miracle. We all are. We can’t take our health for granted, because when it is gone, then you realize just how fortunate you really were. Practice, practice and practice some more. Learn learn and learn some more, try try and try again. Never give up, you never know if when the next time you try you will succeed!
Thanks Dave, Super Great Topic!
Bob
Dear David:
The column: “Bipolar, even you can be President” was excellent!! I am sure there are those, as you mentioned whom think this illness is limiting. It’s really not.
There have many famous figures in history whom have had Bipolar, such as: Winston Churchill, and Patty Duke; I am reasonable certain there are
many others who did not wish to be known as well.
It would be real interesting to have a President with Bipolar! (of course
as long as he or she is stable). That President would need to have his
levels checked as anyone else with this illness, but hey, if you are like
me and have been stable for over a decade, any medical doctor can
check those levels.
What most people do not realize is there are only a few things that one needs to adjust when living with this illness: don’t drink, see your doctor at least once a year for blood tests, get enough sleep, try to exercise, and
don’t be annoyed if loved ones ask if you are taking your medication and ask how you are feeling when going through very stressful situations.
For example, right now..my marriage is ending, so my parents always ask now when I speak to them about Lawyers, bills, etc if I am feeling okay,
and am I still taking my medication? Answer is always yes. If nothing else, I am able to learn from my mistakes.
Thanks again for the column Dave!
“NJ” (bipolar since 1990)
Dear Dave,
Thank you for all the e-mail’s you seen.
I enjoy reading them all.
However I do have a Daughter that struggles with Bi-polar.
My question to you is: Do you also talk about other illnesses ? Like Depression? Because you see this is what I have to face with every day for the rest of my life. Can you Help?
Thanks Your Friend Debbie
Hi Dave
It is not possible for the majority of people to become President because there is only one President. The chances are infinite small for the majority. A handful of people were running for President but only one made it. I do believe however that everybody has the ability to be a President. Everybody cannot become doctors. The more doctors the less the chances of becoming a successful one.
Hope you have a great day.
Just for an example of how working towards a goal requires WORK, and “trial and error,” and a little bit of luck.
I always wanted to work in the Senate in Washington, D.C. ever since I was 12 years old, and was allowed on the “floor” of the Republican convention in Chicago. I found politics to be a VERY rewarding career, but – I did NOT want to be the “politician;” I wanted to be the “power behind the throne,” and work FOR the Senator.
So – I learned how to type in high school – now I type 121 w/p/m – which was a notable skill BEFORE computers. And I took History and Civics then, too. Because I wanted to be in D.C., I only applied to ONE college – American University, and took Political Science and Government as my major.
The second week I was in college, I volunteered on The Hill for my Senator. I continued volunteering for three years, before I was hired as the secretary to the Legislative Assistant of my Senator! I had it MADE!! Not two weeks later, I had my first nervous breakdown. It was devastating, to say the least. I could NEVER go back to being that girl with the high hopes and the “dream job;” I was a “mental patient,” and had to learn within limits of my “condition.”
That was 40 years ago. Now, I am 60, on Social Security Disability, and have been told by my therapist that I can NEVER work a “normal” job again. Sure – I answer surveys and do mystery shopping from my computer, but – it surely is NOT the same as living the dream…
I’m telling you all this to reinforce the fact that ANYTHING is possible if you follow your dream, and WORK to achieve it. At least I HAD it for awhile, and I am PROUD of the work I did before I got sick. It’s now too late for me to start another career. But – I am doing what I can with what I’ve got.
And, Bob – I married twice, to two wonderful men who predeceased me. It IS possible to have a successful marriage AND bipolar disorder. Love, patience, and gratitude go a long way toward living with someone you love.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Dear Dave,
i suppose if you desire something bad enough and meet the criteria that you should then it is possible … I agree that anything is possible and that nothing is impossible. 🙂
thank you,
many blessings and peace
Filiz
Sorry – I disagree.
MANY things are possible, NOT anything. You can only be what you are latently capable of being and if all other issues – e.g. health record – also met.
Most people do not have the character, let alone the ability to become President of the USA even if they wanted to be President! And then, you can only be President of the USA if your parentage meets the criteria. For example, Governor of California, Arnie “The Terminator” does not qualify because of his origins, not ability. I have the latent talent to be a novelist, so I could be a novelist if I set my mind to it. (Indeed, I have an unfinished novel now.) But I can’t work for MI6 even if I wanted to, and in spite of the fact that I have some experience in intel work, because …. I’m Bipolar. They don’t employ people who are BP! And there are plenty of other employers who wouldn’t touch me because of my sick/health record AND my age – why should they when they can find younger, healthier people? You might say “because people with BP have special talents.” Well, you may think that, and I might, too, but that is not the view of most employers in the big wide world! Why, my last employer, a large and respectable commercial bank, couldn’t get me out of the door fast enough when they realised what was the cause of my mental health! And I was (am?) probably the most experienced “client-side” B2B financial researcher in the whole of the UK!
I also think it can be dangerous to let people believe they can do, or be, anything, because when they find they can’t … they are headed for a fall, and those of us with BP can’t afford knocks to our confidence and self-esteem as they tend to trigger BP episodes. We need to be REALISTIC in our expectations, not delusional.
Where the good supporter comes into their own is in helping their loved one realise their potential, like my wife did (before I was diagnosed) when she encouraged me to apply to get on a Masters Degree course in spite of the fact that I don’t have a First Degree. She was right, I was wrong: I got on the course. She was right, I was wrong: I got the Degree. She saw my potential when I did not. BUT she thinks the BP is purely a state of mind – we all know BP is not! So, now it is my turn to be realistic about the prognosis, to know it can be managed but not cured.
dave,,everything u say is so true…i,m a supporter.and your email,s help me so much everthing u say is true i,ve been there now my loved one is holding a job,,seeing his docter,,doing everything he should but,,i only help him because of your email,s,,i understand alot more because of u…we are so much happier because i understand it more because of yu thing,s he wouldn,t tell me u did ,,keep the email,s coming….
FOR SUZANNE, I really admire you, u give sound advice, U responsed to my very first blog a couple of weeks ago (oil in your car) I havent gone back to the clinic yet but did go to my GP on firday. I dont kno if you’ll see this as its sunday now. but just in case you do I just want to say thank you, I know I’m a long way off, from been better, but maybe with the time I’ll get there. thank you again,
FROM AMANDA (Ireland)
I agre I wan,t to be stable do all i can for my self my husband has became a good suporter for me. dave you have help us very much thank you .phyllis from bellevue,ky.
Dave,
Yes, we all have so much potential and also we all have human limitations (whether we have BP or not.) So of course the ol’ when life gives you lemons, make lemonade-would come into place for all of us.
Amazingly, i have learned that my bi-polar disorder reveals a lot of things to me (during my manic episodes) concerning things i didn’t even realize were dreams of mine. And although i was good at writing stories and poetry at a young age, my teenage depression seemed to rob me of that ability….until my most recent episode, when i was inspired to write about my episode as if it were someone else that it had happened to. I mean, after all, who wants to hear someone drone on and on about themselves :=)
The creativity just began to flow. Truth is stranger than fiction they say, but i was writing about my experiences as if it was a fictional story. That made it a little more fun for me and it was also very therapeutic to me to write through all that mess that had happened and try to gain some understanding out of it all.
I figured God had really been the author…..i had just written it down…lol
And things I thought i had overheard people saying (while i was delusional) gave me clues as to some problems i needed to address….such as i thought i heard my doctor telling my mother i was having privacy issues (although she wasn’t really there) so when i had recovered from my episode, i began working on those issues and have a much better relationship with my mother now.
BiPolar disorder indeed sucks! But I am finally learning to appreciate anything i can learn about myself during those times (like my mind is giving me clues as to what i need to work on about myself.)
I’ve also found the book “The Dance of Intimacy” to be very helpful with all my relationships. And L. Ron Hubbard books have been helping too.
And now I am warning men on my websites to read up your link about Dating Bi-Polar people before they even think about trying to date me! Thanks. That should save me a lot of time and heartache (eliminate the ones who don’t really want to put out the effort but just want to use me for their own ends)…. 🙂
Really appreciate you!
~Jeannette
(Oh, and i found out through dealing with the police so much because of my BP, when i would always try to pretend to be one of them….and almost fooled them, during some of my episodes….i must want to be one! I found out i have great investigating skills and happened to make friends with a PI at that time, so…after i get some things dealt with in my life, i intend to start out working security and going to college to get a degree in Social and Criminal Justice online. I hope my health allows me to succeed in these things. And also to have a more active role in my children’s lives.)
Thanks again.
As a new subscriber and reader of your website and blog I can express a heartfelt thank you. I’ve been a supporter of my wife with bipolar for close to 18 years and it doesn’t get easier. We have made gains and had many slides back. Early on the bipolar community was so closed to those who were not bipolar themselves. I was told so many times I’d never have a clue what it was like. As a supporter I often thought they were right but what they lacked was an understanding of what the supporters experienced. As time as gone on I also realize that concentrating on the negative is a poison as lethal as cancer. Those with bipolar and those that support them experience two different worlds each as valid as the other. By recognizing each perspective we support one another and can find positive. Ignoring the realities of these different perspectives leads to negative energy, blaming and isolation. We can be about anything we put our minds to be but we also can find peace in being the best of what we are. My favorite book is entitled “How to hug a porcupine”. The premise and conclusion is you shouldn’t but rather find ways to embrace and strengthen others by strengthening yourself.
I look forward to more comment and expression and encourage us all to be the best we can be. I’ve often been reminded that it is far greater to aim for a star and miss than to aim at a cow pie and hit it square center.
Thanks,
Dave L
My daughter is very smart. Amazingly so–but she fights her treatment all the time. She could be a senator or a congresswoman–but it’s not likely to happen. A person’s inheritance of genes could be a barrier as well-=even without bipolar.
Hi,
My nephew’s wife was first dianosed as BiPolar and given medication that made things much worse. She even had a very traumatizing miscarriage caused by the medication.
Sibce that time they have taken her off that medication and put her on others. The have also decided that she is not Bi-Polar but Multiple Personality Disability. They know of at least 3 or 4 personalities and may be more. This was cause by the abuse she endured from the time she was 3. I tell her what I believe and some of the experiences I have had in my life but my nephew thinks I should not talk about those things to her.
I had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life but I don’t complain. I do tell people about it sometimes just to let them know that I have not lived on a bed of roses. Then I tell them that God had a purpose for these things to happen to me. I am a better more rounded person than I would have been.
At 81, I am in better health than when I was 18 or 28 or 38. When I took my health in my own hands and used natural remedies and preventions I became much healther than I was.
I cannot treat my niece the same as if she had BiPolar. When I talk straight with her, she is very receptive. If she thinks someone is lying to her she is on the defensive and does not want to trust that person any longer. She does get into deep depression at times. She has bad nightmares about things she is starting to remember that she had supressed in her mind. I try to cheer her up and get her mind on other things and it works.
I thank you for your site as I do have a very dear friend who is Bipolar.
ALL CHRISTIANS, please pray for me. I am mentally abused by my husband, who tried to set me up to be arrested, again. If I put a mark on him, trying to defend myself, he runs to the cops, claiming to be the victim! I once stood before a judge, accused of attempted murder, after only scratching him, (May/1997). My oldest daughter takes his side, always. My youngest asks for prayer for her mom, in church; a friend told me about it, when I missed, due to upper respiratory infection. My husband needs more help than I, as he was abused, as a child and used to bash baby kittens’ heads, against the house, killing them. He is psychotic and extremely dangerous. I was warned to get away from him, several times, after marriage. He has broken every marriage vow. He bought another woman a house, before his own family; he planned to ‘get rid of me’ and raise our children w/ hers; she informed me all about it and I found the checks, he wrote to cash, in the amounts of $65,000! He found where I hid them and disposed of them! He is a backslider and great pretender! I have forgiven him, over and over, only for him to repeat his attacks on me. I missed my Psych and Therapy, last mo, because he tore up his car, (ran it into the ditch, broke the wheel, the axel and the brake line, on driver’s rear); but I got my med from my reg, Dr’s office, by hitching a ride w/ my neighbor. My husband is also a secret, drug addict, when he has money and has slipped them to his whole family. Mixed w/ my medicine, I will die; as is what occurred on Mar. 26, 2006. If his VA Disability comes in, I will have no choice but to get away from him, (this also includes my two daughters). He told me, the other day, he would write a check to me, so I could keep the money. He knows I know!
I have been misdiagnosed w/ Scitzophrenia and Bi-Polar. What I really have it DID; I came in touch w/ my alters, the other day and would have had another attack, due to unnecessary stress from my husband, had I not been on my med. There is Belle, the Gate-keeper, who is in charge of letting out the other three, unless one of the other three block her out. There is Angel, who is sweet and loving and wouldn’t harm a fly. There is Anna, who has government knowledge, relating to Bible prophecy. And, then there is Jezebel, who is extremely violent and sexual. Jezebel is my protector. However, I have never committed adultery; I reckon because I’m a Christian. My husband’s mental abuse and drug abuse on me is why my mind created these alters. Pray for me, as he’s at it, again!