Hi,
How are you doing?
I was thinking about a place where I have found a bunch of people to work for me.
Now I have found some terrible people at this place but I have found some of my very best people from this place too.
For a while I started to think of the place as a bad one and hated it.
Then I thought of all the good people that I’ve gotten from this place.
It made me think of the expression, “You have to take the good with the
bad.”
In other words, what if I had condemned this place, saying that I would never go there again to get any more people to work for me, just because I got some bad people from it?
What if I focused only on the bad?
Then what if the very next person I would have hired from there would have been the best employee I ever would have hired?
I really would have missed out on something good just because I didn’t take the bad with the good.
Just because I judged something without having all the facts.
Just because I was too quick to judge.
And just because I had a few bad experiences, I could have decided to hate the whole thing.
Many people with bipolar disorder do the same thing that I started to do.
They start focusing on the bad.
They don’t take the bad with the good.
They condemn without getting all the facts.
Or they even make decisions before they consider all the choices, or all the consequences.
Like the bad side effects from their bipolar medications.
Instead of thinking that ok, there are some bad side effects, but the medication is good…
Or calling the doctor and telling him about the bad side effects to see what can be done…
They just jump right to wanting to go off the medication.
And in my courses/systems, I talk about how dangerous it is for you to do that, and how important staying on medication is:
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Some people judge a doctor as a bad doctor just because one time he didn’t call back in exactly 30 minutes.
Or maybe he kept you waiting in the waiting room for an hour.
Or maybe you don’t feel like he treated you the way you expected to be treated when he did see you, etc.
You have to take it all into account before you condemn something or someone in the medical or mental health field.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some bad doctors, but you can’t just jump right in there and say that your doctor is one because of one of these reasons.
You have to take the bad with the good.
Just like with the medications – you can’t condemn all bipolar medications just because some of them have some bad side effects.
You can’t expect all medications to work perfectly every time.
Medication isn’t perfect.
But you have to take the bad with the good, because you have to take medication for your bipolar disorder.
You just have to work with your doctor.
But you can’t expect your doctor to be perfect all the time.
They aren’t.
They have bad days just like you do, and what if that day that you felt you weren’t treated exactly the way you wanted to be treated was just a bad day for them?
You have to take the bad with the good.
Just like what if I had expected this source for finding people to work for me to be perfect and to give me absolutely perfect people every time?
And what if I stopped using them just because they weren’t perfect?
Have you learned to take the bad with the good?
Can you give me an example of how you had to apply this principle?
Post responses below
How do you do your hiring? Do you hire persons out in Nebraska, for instance, to do computer work for you?
Last year my friend that I have now been invovled with for two years. Then only one year. Told me I have been ling too you and I have been ling to everyone. Well I did not know how to take that. He has always been honest about his mental condition. I packed up all his stuff and was gonna say my good-byes and be done with this guy. But when his head’s not spinning. He is an awsome……..awsome man. So I still have all his stuff in boxes. Still trying to get him to go back on his meds. But I know thanks to you and all your emails. This was not going to be easy and I knew when he first told me it would not be easy. But I do know if I hang in there. This relationship can be one of the best things that has ever happend to me. And I am almost 50. So “Taking the good with the bad”….with bipolar one has to learn to do this. In the end…it is worth it…….I know ………..I believe
Hi, thank heaven for your colum or i would be lost
my son is 17 and bipolar and it is very hard to get Anyone to listen to you about whats right and works for him.We are now facing another issue and i need your help plese!We pulled my son from public school last year and he has done well on the homebound program well this new school year they claim no money but because we had him enrolled last year and all the transcripts were on file he was gureented a spot well we got a letter that said sorry no spot for him.My son has made it to junior he has two more years and he gradutes i know he will drop out if pushed into public school.I also wanted to know about your work at home programs for him he gets disability but thats under 200 a month any help would be appreciated thank you.
David,
I want to thank you for your daily inspirations on Bipolar; but it truly goes deeper than that. I have been researching all day about another disease that has caused me to endure three nine-hour surgeries to finally be in remission(whatever remission means in this case?!) Of course, this illness (LPD) is extremely rare; and as I reflect on the bad times, LPD occurred during my highest stress levels in life as well as my diagnosis of Bipolar. My researching today goes beyond curiousity. I am not a professional researcher and not of the medical profession. I feel very blessed that I pulled through all of this (i.e. the good). Advice to my fellow survivors: be patient; the hole is very dark at the very time when we can’t give up and we all WILL see that light at the end of the tunnel.
Best wishes, KJ
Dear Mentel Health…..
The Good The Bad And The Ugly…..
Lets just say it depends on what type of mood your in. If some ones been a twat and starts pissing you off it sort of over powers your thinking cap. then all the good becomes bad and you condem…
Take Care Linda x
I appreciate your point of “taking the bad with the good.” I have had some real rotten experiences with Case Managers at the Community Mental Health clinic. In fact, it’s been FIVE out of FIVE!! None of them followed up; none of them kept appointments. And my latest one is so “mannish” that she turns me off. Sure – she tries to be helpful (almost TOO helpful), but I am turned off by mannish women. I can’t, at this point, say one GOOD thing that has come of having ANY of my Case Managers. So – I deal with my therapist and my Nurse Practitioner (who prescribes meds), and completely bypass the Case Manager. I don’t even know WHY I HAVE a Case Manager. All of them have been inept and underqualified.
When you find yourself in a situation where you just CAN’T get along with a mental health professional, the thing I have learned is – don’t go there. Stick with the “helpers” you know, and don’t expect “miracles” from those who, through no fault of your own, are assigned to your case. I have been doing very nicely WITHOUT input from my Case Manager. The rest of my mental health “team” is GREAT!!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I have been on many bipolar medications. Gone threw the minor side effects of them all, but this side effect did not happen when I began this medication just the usual stuff. This side effect happened after I stopped taking it and changed to another.You say you have to take the bad with the good. It’s hard to trust medication since this happened. I have to judge which is worse, my bipolar or another terrible side effect. It’s a no brainer stay on medication.
Karen
I always take the bad with the good. Every cloud has a silver lining and every rose has thorns. I was very upset and depressed last night and a bit better tonight. My relationship is not going too well, because he has so many problems and issues (too private to discuss on the blog) mostly to do with bipolar I expect. I am glad I don’t have bipolar – if I had I could easily have cracked up last night. I love this man so much and I will let him be. Right now he says he wants to be my friend,not my boyfriend and tonight I’m thinking “love, friendship, relationship” it’s all just words. We will still see each other. He says he still loves me but that he is no good for me and I deserve someone better! That’s the bipolar demon in a “down” mood talking. Someone better – like who? I love him because he accepts me the way I am – not many people do. I have a better chance of winning the lottery and be struck by lightning on the same day than I have of finding a “better” man to love. Strangely, when we first got to know each other as friends and lovers we did much more together and had a lot more fun than when we were “officially” a couple. Going back to that may not be all bad. We could be getting to know each other all over again and come full circle.
SUZANNE, what is a case manager supposed to do? I don’t think we have those here. There are all sorts of titles people have now and some sound important but do sweet F.A. to help. Then there are those who do their job by the book, like my boyfriend’s recent young “therapist” who did him no good at all with her nagging. I haven’t met her, but from what he told me, she hasn’t got a clue about bipolar or creative people or anything. She is half my boyfriend’s age and talks to him like he was 5 years old. I suggested she should change her job to a primary school teacher and talk to real 5-year-olds. I don’t think he passed on my message (lol) but she is leaving him be now, as he is taking no nonsense from her. His psych said he doesn’t need a therapist. Your case manager sounds like what my ex-husband used to call a “macho woman.” I can’t stand those types either.
Dave you were so right in telling us to keep trying until we find the right doctor. We have been very blessed with my husbands current doctor. We have been going every other week for 6 months now try to get him out of his black hole. The doctor has tried so many meds and with every new one he tells my husband if he has any problems with it to call him on his cell phone. He gave my husband and myself his cell number on our 1st visit and told us to call him anytime we need to. This last med change was 2 weeks ago and my husband is so much like the man I married 30 years ago. After 2 years of doom and gloom, a couple of doctors and tons of meds we are finally starting to see the light. Dave if not for you and your e-mails I would not know that with the right doctor and proper medication life could be good once again. THANK YOU
I have an interesting situation as do most people so I’ve come to learn. My daughter is a supporter of someone who suffers and is only somewhat medicated but knows he should be fully medicated and under physicians care. They also have my grand-daughter. I am extremely concerned but also have huge faith in God. Your emails help explain some of the daily turmoil that can and has happened over the last few years. It is a very stressful situation however I am sooooo glad I found your site and receive the daily emails it really helps me guide her. Thyank you and God bless!!!