I think people in general are terrified of mental illness. It’s one thing if you get cancer, it’s not necessarily viewed as a mental deficit or weakness on your part. But if your brain gets sick, many people feel that you should just get over it or pull yourself together. And the idea of your brain going places without your permission is a little frightening – our sense of self is totally related to the brain after all.

I tend to see bipolar as a person having an extreme response to anxiety. When I feel anxious, I can’t relax, my brain is going and I become talkative and feel a sense of euphoria. With bipolar that must be 100 times stronger than what I feel – I don’t go for days without sleeping.

No one can ever know exactly what another person feels, but I think it is important to try and imagine. For me it makes mental illness much less scary.

Hi Dave

Love getting your emails! I think I have ‘been’ with you now ever since you started this bipolar help thing.

I am really struggling at the moment, have been for ages, it seems, but I have a wonderful psychiatrist, the best in Durban, KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa! He specialises in bipolar. But I have a feeling that if I don’t improve soon, I will have to be admitted to hospital once again. So I am in a manic stage of trying to sort out my home, garden, dogs, paperwork, so if and when I do have to go in, all is in order for my husband.

Let me tell you, NO-ONE IS NORMAL!! There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ person. This I have learnt over the years.

Keep it up Dave, I know you must be ‘running ragged’ trying to keep all this stuff up and look after your own life, which you seem to do so well.

If you ever decide to visit South Africa, let me know, I would love to meet you! Not that things are too great here anymore, worst crime rate, electricity power cuts twice daily, polluted water – all sorts of things. This, of course, does not help my state of mind. My husband and I could go back to England, where we are both from, anytime, but it’s so hard. We have a lovely home and garden, which we have spent so much money on doing up, and me so much time. We have three wonderful dogs whom we love to bits and who love us back! Couldn’t take them to England, cos they would have to go into quarenteen for 6 months, they would not survive that. I wish England would drop that stupid law.

Anyway, must go.

lots of love
Liz

In my case for the most part when I am in mania I think I am the most sane (the best) in the mad (messed up) world. When I am depressed I feel like I am mad for living in such an insane (messed up) world. The world isn’t perfect and neither am I.

It seems that bipolar people leave in a diferent world and mesure time in diferent way it seems that time goes fast and slow for them some times

Hi, Dave
YES, YES, YES!! Friends and acquaintences over time who saw the signs and symptoms and even saw me go through episodes of depression and one manic stage were perplexed. I became known as loud, flaky, and though they listened sympathetically to the few things I shared with a few of them, there was no feedback. There were no comments, no support and no questions to find out more. They just didn’t want to broach the subject or address it in any way. I think the worst thing that happened was when I talked a bit to a former pastor about my diagnosis. He ran from then on any time I approached him. There were always other people around, so he “tolerated” me, but in kinship meetings or after church when I said goodbye, if it seemed there was time to talk, he found other things to do. And he was so nervous, he couldn’t hide it. It hurt me deeply. It made me bitter for awhile and I wanted to call him on it. I wanted to say “instead of running away, run to and learn about mental illness. People in your congregation need this ministry, but if you, the leader, run, so will everyone else.” I wanted to tell him how rejected I felt, like a total outcast. It was a good lesson, though, to BE QUIET. Thanks for your blogs on this and also on the impact positive and negative thinking has on EVERYONE, not just BD survivors. Marni

well sometimes I think I am crazy because the best friend I have that has the disorder is now alienating me again and don’t know what, if anything else, I can do to get him to acknowledge me. I’ve tried phone messages, email, instant messenger and nothing is working. I live in a different state but know that he is in fact at home. As someone who has the disorder would any of you like to enlighten me when he goes thru this cycle. I am a very compassionate, caring person who dearly loves my friend. To add insult to injury, he is soon to be incarcerated for previously being involved in the drug world. He has been clean for over 3 yrs now but his past behavior caught up with him. I can appreciate this having a significant impact on him; however, he’s also gone for months without going thru an episode (w/o taking his meds I might add). Please, anyone, give me your opinion or suggestions. I can’t give up on him

David – Yup, keep educating people. I try to do the same in my own small way. But please remember – people with BP are generally more creative and productive because they are hypo … which means their moods are not in balance! It might be great for an employer but it isn’t healthy.

hi

HI

Marco,
Hi. I just started a new blog site at Bipolar disorder sufferers located in google blog posts, if you or anyone else is interested in a informal forum.
Katie :~)

hi

Marco,
I know for me pushing people away is a defense mechanism. When I am in down swing I am feeling self destructive and worthless and I tend to do and say things to push the people I love away because I don’t feel as is if I deserve to have anyone there or to care. I don’t know what to tell you, Marco. I know she is important to you, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. However, you may need to seek counseling for yourself as well, if only for self-preservation. Again, good luck, Marco.
~Katie

My wife of 25 years was diagnosed with Bipolar over 20 years ago and has been stable for over 20 years now, BY TAKING HER MEDICATION REGULARILY. Now her doctor says that she has Hypomania on top of her Bipolar! What is this, how did she get it and how can I handle her when she is so cranky, irritable and gritchy and sarcastic? Is Hypomania a new thing or because she forgot her medcation one day? I am lost with this once!
Thank you for your letters, they are a huge help! It is about time that the SUPPORTERS of those who have Bipolar have support of their own! Support me now please! Keep up the good work!

Katie
I’m interested in seeing your blog. Link?

Oh, in case anyone was wondering, Mr Philosopher here was having a bad one today … and VERY negative thoughts passed across his mind. Passed but past otherwise I’d not be writing now! All goes to show just how BP can sneak up on ya. I’m just hoping this isn’t more of the same, but more extreme, that’s been going on for a few weeks now. Mixed ones. Bearable up until now. I’ll have to keep an eye out and the telephone numbers handy!

Dear Katie I wish you could find the emotional streng to coop with what you
feel I just could give you a good though and a nice memory of your sweet
words.thanks

Hi,Dave. Lynn here, living w/bipolar, MRE resolving depression which hit in Jan. Thank you for all the work you tirelessly do, day after day, for those living with and for those who love them. You ARE appreciated, if no one h as told you, today.

hi

Graham n,
My blog is on this website, the title of which is, Bipolar disorder sufferers. I look forward to hearing more of your insight. Have a great day.
~Katie

Did anyone with access to British tv see “Poppy Shakespeare” Monday night on channel 4? This was a fictional story, but I think must have been written by someone with the experience of mental institutions. With the label of “mental illness” the young woman couldn’t get a job, was threatened with losing her child and had a string of other difficulties. When admitted to the psych ward she was not suicidal or in any other way a danger to herself or anyone else. But eventually the abominable treatment in the place drove her “up the wall.”

As I was very worried about my boyfriend that night, the film was very sad and upsetting to me. The story took place in London fairly recently and some of the hospital staff was unbelievable. That patronising woman psychiatrist / therapist / whatever she was talked down at the patients like they were all 5 years old! And when anyone got angry s/he had a syringe rammed into his/her rear end. I wouldn’t have known how true to life the film was, if my boyfriend hadn’t told me that this was exactly the sort of thing that goes on in the psych ward here in Ireland. Sad story, but a good film.

I have always known that I was different, and honestly I like being that way. I like not being “normal”. If that means I have to go through emotional anguish, so be it. I had a conversation with a co worker the other day, he said when he was younger he “experimented with certain chemicals” During that period of his life he felt more creative. Now that he is a responsible adult he feels unable to get back to that creative state. I said it was ironic that the chemicals I’m expected to take seem to inhibit my creativity. There has to be a happy medium.

I have recently started learning about bipolar disorder. My 33 yr. old daughter was diagnosed at 29. She is at the state hospital due to no insurance trying to get her meds straight. She also is a drug abuser. This is all so new to me and thanks to you I am starting to understand some.

dear sara have you ever hurt your housban verbaly and if you did why BP people do it?

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Hiya, All!

After a good night’s sleep, I’m getting ready to drive off to do a ‘refresher’ Book-Keeping Course.

I hope that Graham N’s NOT going into an ‘Episode’ because I love his e-mails and reckon that we could debate the night away if we met! Slow down and take things easy, like I did yesterday.

The programme “Poppy Shakespeare”, broadcast last Monday night in the U.K., was meant to be a ‘dark satire’ but I felt very uncomfortable and irritated after watching it. I’m sure that others throughout the World can ‘download’ it on to their computers or mobiles and watch it.

However, on a brighter and more topical note, I watched “The Human Spider” on TV last night. The nearly fifty year old Frenchman,’Alain Roberts’, used to be afraid of heights (like I am), but decided to face and conquer his fear by becoming an expert climber. (I felt sick just observing!) So far, he’s climbed 85 of the World’s tallest buildings and bridges WITHOUT any ropes, realising that he has only two options: either fall to his death or succeed in ascending to the top.
He has along-suffering wife and three children and is away from home for six months of every year, so in a sense, HE could be regarded as CRAZY, yet I respected and admired him.

(I once abseiled off the tallest part of Cardiff’s University Hospital for the ‘Spastic Society’ and fainted at the bottom, but I might still attempt a parachute jump one day, if I get enough sponsors to make it worthwhile!)

Finally, I hope that when Heaven states that she’s “going away” that she only means that she’s moving away from her unsupportive family and NOT something more sinister. Stay strong and “Sod Them”!

I’m off to take a shower, then hit the traffic. Take care all,

Sue and all the animals. x

Sarah, It is unwise not to take your meds, even cut them down to get the creative highs. Why?
First, every pDoc will tell you, if you don’t get the right meds, your condition will deteriorate. Type 2’s can become Type 1s, and of course, there is plenty of space to move into between the two as you go up from Type 2 to Type 1!
Second, while hypomania may make people more creative, it does not make their ideas more practical. Rather, it can make them worse. For example, when I was in a hypo state at the bank where I used to work (BBPD _Before Bipolar Diagnosis – you can have that one, too, David, like my BP sleeping dragon!! Lol!) I would churn out ideas for the Staff Suggestion Scheme like sweet making machine – pop, pop, pop, pop – so fast, my BIG boss, the one on the company board wrote to me when I was off sick the first time something like, “I look forward to seeing you back in the seat anf firing on all six cylinders.” Six, not four. Trouble was, most of trhe ideas were total cr#p! Completely unrealistic. You see, just as there is a graduated scale between Type 2 BP and Type 1 BP, there is a corresponding graduation of the symptoms, too. So, while my hypo periods were largely Type 2, the creative ideas that I had were a touch delusional. So, I thought they were great ideas and couldn’t understand why my senior colleagues would think them impractical. Oh, there WAS some element of me seeing things ahead of time. For example, I was predicting a huge consumer movement towards green and ethical products, at least 5 years before any major UK company began even tickling the surface with such products and services. In that case, I was well ahead of the game. But in the majority of cases my brilliant ideas were not brilliant at all – I was just too delusional to see it. Fine, if all the creativity you seek is for, say, writing or painting. But for being creative in a more commercial environment, where practical ideas are needed? For get it. And then, if the capacity for you to be creative is in you, there are other ways to tap into them without putting your sanity at risk by not taking, or reducing your meds. Look out for the published writing of Deborah Fuchey, esp. her brilliant poetry – she is BP and used to use her hypo and manic periods as her stimulants for creative writing. Now she’s stable she can’t rely on the highs anymore. But the creativity isn’t locked away – she’s found new ways to tap into it.

marco113,
I can answer that question.

Yes, I have hurt people verbally. Why? For two reasons I can think of.

1. A hypomanic mood, or a mixed mood (depression and hypomania at the same time – it’s nasty) pups you full of energy and a desire to do things. When anything gets in the way of your plan, even something as small as someone asking a question and wanting an answer, it is extremely irritating. Irritating because it’s stopping you get on. Why, the slow pace and having not enough time in the d ay, irritates, too. So, when anyone DOES “get in the way”, boy! They get it! Harsh words makes them back off and get OUT of the way. But it’s not quite as calculating as that. That’s what is happening but, for me, it’s more an automated response.

2. When you have a hypo or mixed state (or even a depressive state) you often want to be left alone. But because you are obviously not feeling well, people don’t eant to leave you alone! They may not trust what you’ll do next or they may want to help, when you know they can’t. You need that space but they won’t give it to you. You have enough trouble handling your emotions without having to cope with someone else stirring the emotions up even more. So, you get nasty to make them go away. It’s a survival thing in this case because you feel they are only making this worse for you.

At least, that is how it is for me. Anyone else feel differently?

marco,
You asked, “What would be the best thing to do when BP people became verbaly abuser?”
Easy. Just back off and leave them alone. Why?
1. They want to be left alone. Respect that and leave them alone!
2. You really don’t want to piss off someone who is in that mood or you might get more than a mouthful of verbal abuse.

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Is there any tendency for BP persons to have sexual disorders such as been bisexuals or luck of desire of sexual activity?

Hello, Everybody! Long time, no see? (Joke!)

I’ve just come back from the Book – Keeping refresher course after “doing the trainer’s head in” with really tough, constant questions that I made him answer. (I took FULL advantage that there was only ME on the course – the other guy cancelled.) Now I FINALLY know how to use ‘e-bay’, so that I can sell my partner, Martin’s, junk!(He’s a ‘hoarder’ and has loads of cars; vans, lorries and old engines choking up his land preventing him from working properly as a Mechanic.)

In response to Marco’s question about sex, even WITH the various medications that I take, I have an extremely high sex drive and I’m lucky that bi-sexual Martin has a similar need. (Years ago, I was even MORE active!) Martin has ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’, but refuses to see a Doctor, relying on Alcohol instead, so I’m VERY lucky that this doesn’t affect his performance, if you get my meaning.

I’m getting ‘high’ again, so I’m going to take a sedative to get some sleep for a few hours.

Take care all,

Sue and all the animals. x

Hi David and all:
Yes, there is still a very sad prejudice going on where mental illness is concerned (and a lot of other illnesses too) but it is not nearly as bad as it has been in the past, I am very happy to say. And hopefully, with education, the prejudice will continue to decrease and understanding will prevail. There was a time where mental illness was regarded as just plain being nuts and being locked in a mental institution with shock therapy and lots of Thorazine to keep the poor person so sedated they didn’t recognize their names. I used to work in a nursing facility that took patients from the state mental institution when they became old enough for Social Security and Medicare to pay the tab. These people were so sedated they could barely eat without help, that is an example of what it was like say 30 years or so ago in Michigan, can’t speak for other states because this is where I worked in such conditions. I believe that the general public, as a whole, is becoming more open to other treatments and diagnoses, rather than a tag of insanity and permanent residence in a mental institution. However, as I look back over my life and the events that have transpired over the years there are several people who did not receive mental help and the world would have been better off if they had been tagged as insane and locked away. But they are the few, not the majority. I believe that most people will recognize the ones I am talking about if they paid any attention to history at all, or like myself, lived while some of these events were happening.

Thanks again for a great post. As a mother of two childen of ADD, I know that people who are somewhat ‘crazy’ are the most creative, smartest people I have been around. Even the children in my class who are beginning to exhibit some of those ‘tendancies’ towards some type of mental illness are the most creative. I think that adversity makes for a smarter, more creative, person. Keep up the great work.

babyjune,
Is there a history of BP in your family? I understand BP in children can be difficult to diagnose, and may be mistaken for a number of other disorders, just as they can be mistaken for early on set of BP. Given the known genetic link with BP, I presume there us a history of BP in your or your partners family. If there isn’t, show a warning flag. Get a second opinion … just in case.

As for the special class … it’s a difficult balance that a school has to strike, as I know working in one not just as a volunteer Teaching Assistant but as a School Governor in the UK. Every child has a right to education. That means every one of them. Of course, it is better for a child with behavioural issue that he or she learns in a main stream class. However, if they won’t, or can’t conform to the school’s behavior policy (in the UK every school has to have one – it’s the Law) then something has to be done to protect the legal rights of the other children in the class whose learning is disrupted and even jepodised by the behaviour of one child with behavioural problems. To illustrate, while the class teacher is attending to any problem with that child, they are not giving their attention to the rest of the class. That is an infringement of their human rights as it is also strictly speaking against the Law! So, what is the school to do? A common “solution” is to allocate one Teaching Assistant to that child, so there is 1-2-1 attention. But then, THAT means the skills of the TA are lost to other children whose behavour is good and who demonstratively want to learn .. but need differentiated support for their right to education. E.g. a child with dyslexia. Plus, in the UK funding is short anyway and there is precious little to hire TAs to help the well behaved children! So, in order to safeguard the right of all children to have equal opportunity for an education, it is sometimes necessary to remove a child into a specialist unit, where specially trained staff can try to educate them, leaving the rest of the children with the full attention of their class teacher.

This is an issue that narks me. I have a boy with severe Dyslexia. He needs 1-2-1 tuition, but I can’t afford to pay for it, and the State School (where I am a Governor!) can’t afford it, either! But the educational authority that funds the school DIRECTLY funds two TAs to act as “minders” for two children with behavioral problems. One of them I know has had a pitiful start in Life and learnt few, if any, social skills because he was raised up to an age of about 5 years by a seriously ill drug addict Mum and her equally bad partner (not the father.) The child knows little of how to share anything, least of all food, or any normal social skills but he can tell you in great detail how to inject Heroin, how to prepare Crack, roll a reefer, the names of various pills … etc. He’s a very bright child and, when he’s not behaving badly, he’s a real charmer and very entertaining. BUT he is taking up the full time of one of the most experienced TAs in the school! She has no time to teach anyone else, not even him, because she’s too busy literally reining in child. Yes, his hands are “shackled” with flexible ribbon, like a dog lead, and with what is like a dog lead that ix fixed to the shackles while the other end of it is held by the TA. I’d much rather the child were in a special unit and have that TA looking after my and other children who are Dyslexic but are being neglected because the resource is being taken up with a kid who learns very little because he’s not paying attention, he’s trying to run away or he’s trying to thump some other child!

Any chance I get where I feel comfortable enough, I tell people that I am bipolar. It can be someone I’ve just met, or someone I’ve known for a long time. I’m sure you are all aware of the reasons, but I am on an mission to give a different face to what most people call “crazy”.

Well, to those of us who were born with chemical imbalances in our brains that have biological markers in genetic codes, as well as epigenetic codes, it is hard to get empathy for the unseen, the hidden.

Most people are frightened of anything they can’t see. So, instead, I use my face, my personality, and using my intuition with respect to whom I divulge my ‘secrect’ to and who not to, I get positive responses: my best friend was bipolar, my friend is bipolar, I think my neighbor is bipolar. Etc. Etc.

I have stopped being afraid of the stigma. Giving power to the stigma gives power to the fear in the general population. So to hell with the stigma; ignore it.

BP is a biological, hereditary disease with environmental and social triggers that happen to affect the brain, an organ that, at this point in time, we can’t really see how the disorder begins or progresses as it happens in real time.

But it is real, it is all in your head, and it is a real medical condition on parity with other chronic serious disease, like diabetes, heart disease, or cancer.

For all of those out there with BP: a big hug. We are misunderstood and special people. Without us the world would be a much different place: Read Dr. Kay Jamison’s books. They will give you perspective and put you in grand company.

GRAHAM N, Thanks. What you explained to Marco about being pushed away, verbally abused and then ignored is helpful to me too.

I think my boyfriend is possibly going through a mixed episode, or it maybe rapid cycling (though he hasn’t done that before).

After he had me worried sick for 3 days, we spent some good time together Tuesday and Wednesday. He seemed to be improving a lot, though not quite right yet, coming up with some strange religious stuff, etc. He also seems over-sensitive at the moment. I let him vent about a lot of people and other things that are making him angry. He seems very vulnerable and very very insecure. I didn’t want to ask him if he is taking his meds, as didn’t want to intrude (and possibly be told off for interfering). I think he is taking them, but maybe drinking as well which doesn’t help.

I am going through a lot of confusion myself right now, with the onset of the menopause. We had spent Wednesday night together and everything seemed to be looking up again. Then I woke up with a period, which really shocked me. I hadn’t had one for 3 months and had thought I had finally finished with the dreaded things. Later it became quite heavy and painful and all that energy I had over the last few months went completely out the window. I am very drained and tired.

Last night after I finished work, I went to his home and found his alcoholic friend there with an assortment of booze. I had a glass of wine, he had a can of beer and she had everything else over the next couple of hours. At first, we all had a chat and a laugh. When she started drinking herself stupid I thought it was time for me to go. He walked half way up with me. We saw his madly jealous and manipulative ex-girlfriend come out of a late night shop. I had some stuff to sort out at home and then tried to have an early night, about 2am. I managed to get to sleep about 4am and couldn’t get comfortable.

About 4.30am I get a text from him telling me he loved me. So I replied with the same. We text for about 15 minutes, then I dozed off again. About an hour later he woke me up with another text, telling me the drunk was still there, and he had had a lot of crazy texts from his ex after she had seen us. Then he phoned me and asked if I could persuade the drunk to go home, as she was well out of control by then. He told me again that he loved me and I was the only one who never gave him trouble.

6am after i tried to get to sleep, he texts me again, saying that she had gone at last. Then he asks me if he could come over and sleep with me. I was so tired and full of aches and pains and really just wanted to be left alone to get a couple of hours sleep. I knew he probably just wanted to talk and vent and I was too tired. So I told him I wanted to sleep and he can come over later tonight. It was to be now or never! He sent me a couple of really hurtful texts accusing me of being selfish and didn’t love him, etc. He doesn’t want to see me again, as he has a life to live and didn’t need me. His phone has been switched off since then and I haven’t seen him.

I know he will come out of this eventually, hopefully soon. I’m not so worried now that he might harm himself. He did say “I have a life to live…” I am still very upset though. I feel bad about it now. Maybe I should have let him come over. Or maybe he would have said horrible things to my face then, if he had got the wrong end of the stick when I asked him to let me sleep. It’s all very sad. He allowed the drunk to be his friend again several times after he didn’t want to know her. So I’m sure he won’t throw away what we had. I do love him and I know he loves me. At the moment he is not in control of his bipolar, but is letting it control him and I don’t know what more I can do to help.
It was the drunk and the ex-girlfriend who stressed him out and gave him grief and he let it all out on me. Also, he may have had more to drink again than he should have. In that case he may have forgotten what he said again like last time and has spent all of today asleep. Hopefully I will see him walking his dog somewhere in the next couple of days and will get through to him. Do you think this is a mixed episode?

Sorry, this is so long. I am an aspiring novelist and find it difficult to keep writing short. Needed to get it off my chest – thanks for reading.

To graham n I was thinking abouth what you told me when BP people push away love ones what would be the right thins to say in general when my girlfriend is having all those emotional presures do you have any I deas

thank sara it is like if i dicover all the suden a complitly new world of understanding

marco,
I think you have somethere there but it’s not just people with BP. Seems to me that a lot of people with any kind of mental illness (but not least those with BP) need a way to express how they feel in words, which is difficult because how do you do that for something that is not physical? Try expressing how it feels to have a headache. Not easy, is it. It ios for this reason, I suspect, that people with mental illness become good at any expressive arts, including writing, because we have to practice, to apply extra effort in being creative, to find a way that may convey some of what we feel for which ther ARE NO WORDS.

Hi, Nightlady!

I’m SO glad that you found your errant partner and also sorry that he’s mixing with people that may ‘encourage’ him to stray or move backwards, not forwards in direction. I guess that he’s feeling desperately lonely and hopeless at present, which is why he’s allowing the ex to pester him and drunken pal to stay, JUST so that he’s NOT alone. However, THIS isn’t fair on you and if it were me, I’d at the very least INSIST that he cease all contact with the ex-girlfriend. ‘EX’ should mean just that!

You have 100% of my sympathy with how you’re feeling, because I’m presently having heavy, painful Periods every two weeks and I think that the latest one led to me becomming ‘high’ and tired this week. (I can’t have the ‘Milena Coil’ fitted until I’ve had the “All Clear” in June, regarding the preventative Cervical Cancer operations I had over Christmas and January 2008.)

Take care of YOURSELF first, so that you’ll have the strength to help your partner later. Also, although he’s not threatening suicide now, if he ever does it again, ALWAYS remember that it’s HIS life and HIS decision and that he should NEVER try to put the guilt on to you, in order to force you into helping him when you’re too exhausted. (Think of YOUR rights, too!)

I personally think that you’re doing a fabulous job of taking care of him, so ignore the nasty texts, because it’s the “spoilt little child who can’t get his own way” part of his ‘Bipolar’ acting up.

Take care of yourself. Love,

Sue and all the animals. x

WOW I feel so…related to. I have also been having painful cycles every two weeks and some sort of acne? I’ve had clear skin all my life. Hormones can really make a difference on any one add BP and you get, well you all can imagine. I also have Thalassemea so I am doubly tired at that time of the month.
Graham n…exactly treat everyone with sensitivity and you can usually expect the same.

SUSIE, thanks for your message. Less than an hour after I wrote the long post last night I got a text from him full of apologies. “Sorry 4being a b*****d. I love u…” etc. I replied and accepted his apology and his next text said: “Will make it up to you.” I wait for him to make the first move as to when he wants to see me.

You’re right, he does seem to be lonely and mixed up. When he is depressed he wants to be left alone (he says), but he really doesn’t like being alone for more than one night. Then he often takes up with “false friends”, who make matters worse. At least since he has the dog he always has company. He also goes off sex when he is “down” while he can’t seem to get enough when he is “up” (lol). I give him space when he wants it, though sometimes it’s difficult for me to figure out what he really wants. If he doesn’t reply to my text he may want to be alone, or he may just be out of credit. If it’s the former and I think it’s the latter and phone him, he may snap at me (if he answers the phone at all). If it’s the latter and I think it’s the former and don’t phone him he may think I don’t care about him.

The ex-girlfriend is a pain in the proverbials. She has (often uncontrolled) diabetes and serious mental problems herself. She will not let go and is totally obsessed with him. She is controlling and manipulative and has got him into real trouble before. The worst thing is that she believes he is not well and she needs to look after him. She is the one who ought to see a shrink! She has been arrested several times for shoplifting. She sends some really crazy texts to him and to me. Some are threatening, some desperate and some make no sense at all. The fact that she is a neighbour a couple of doors away from him doesn’t help. The drunk can get physically violent (she has a criminal record) but the ex is more dangerous in a scheming way and could be a real “bunny boiler.” I am still in contact with my ex-husband and an ex-boyfriend – we get on well as friends. This sort of friendship only works by mutual agreement.

Hi, Nightlady!

When you feel that the time’s right, you might have to deal out some “Tough Love”!

After the shock of discovering that my partner is Bisexual and had been with a Gay bloke for twelve years prior to him meeting and dating me for months before I found out, I felt sorry for the other guy at first. However, even though I offered for them to meet privately to talk and sort things out, the other man became increasingly nasty and threatening towards me, constantly texting or ringing me with comments like, “We always had unprotected sex and I’ve got Hepititus!”

(Luckily, I’ve already had my Hepititus B injections for when I uesd to work part-time in an Older People’s Home and Martin’s tests came back ‘Negative’, but the constant emotional stress and harassment caused me to go in to an ‘Episode’. However, just BEFORE I became really ill, I took out an Injunction against the EX-Boyfriend, which prevented him from coming near either Martin or myself and I persuaded some Policemen pals to make a special visit to him, to warn him off!)

It worked, as the guy went into a massive ‘Sulk’ and has totally stayed away, but I paid the price with my health. Initially, although I felt tempted to dump Martin, I deliberately kept him to ‘Spite’ the other bloke. (Okay, also because I already loved him, too.)

When you feel it’s practical, it might be worth suggesting that your partner moves to a new place away from the negative people around him (although he may latch on to similar types wherever he goes), then threaten an Injunction against the EX (although you’ll need 100% of his support).

It’s hard, but there can be ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ because Martin’s trying hard to cut down on his intake of Alcohol and attempting to treat me whenever he’s able. I also know that he’s never ‘cheated’ on me, even though I’ve been tempted myself! (I guess that my threat that I’d cut his ‘Thingy’ off if he messed around on me, had some real impact!?)

I often wish that I didn’t ‘FEEL’ so strongly about so many issues because it’s so emotionally draining, but I also recognise that it makes me an extra-specially nice person within Society. The World needs MORE people like us to protect it!

Good luck and take care,

Sue and all the animals. x

SUSIE, sounds like you have been going through a lot of troubles with your boyfriend’s ex, too. My boyfriend is not bisexual but try-sexual (try anything once), which is no less a health risk. His ex once spread rumours that she had caught something from him. Of course that was only scare-mongering and totally made up and typical of her.

As we don’t live together, it would be up to him if he wanted to take out an injunction against her. She does not know my address and hope she never finds out. For the last couple of months he has cut all contact with her. In a small town it can’t be helped to meet people in shops, pubs or even in the street by chance. If he was to move house because of her that would make her win in a way. I think the best thing to do is to ignore her. At some point she will have to give up. If the texts bother him (they do give him stress) he could change his phone number. He has saved all those texts and says he is going to show them to his psychiatrist at the next appointment.

Since his flat got badly damaged in a fire on New Years night, the council have said they are going to re-house him. All this takes time, though. I know I couldn’t live in conditions like that and would put pressure on the authorities. He is quite attached to his little place and has cleaned it all up himself. The landlords have done sweet F.A. to help. All this adds extra stress. I think my love and his dog’s love must be of help to him. You know like I do that animals are the best therapists.

I haven’t heard from him at all tonight. Hopefully, no news is good news.

At this moment she things that she is right in every thing

I would say some people are just rude and ignorant, BP people is like anyother person the only diference is that it is harder to control emotions

Hi guys is sombody there

david i quit getting mesages

I’m here Marco. Listening. Interested. And caring about everyone here. Very much. Dave? Very nice work. Get rest. And thankyou.

I meant “scaring people” not “caring people”!!! Freudian slip? LOL!

Thanks David this is a grate forum don’t give up thanks againg.

Hi Wildthing, well people learn little by little I admire your intencion and determination to try to learn and help people with mental problems I will help you with my experience with my girlfriend it could probably help you.

Dear Wildthing I would like to tell you that I when through the same problem I was push out of my appartment by my girlfriend,and like me many people that I know they were also push out of the lives of the person they love it seems that is a pattern of conduct of some people with BP, why they do it is because they can ,is not rigth but they know we will love them no matther what.

Marco and Graham, thankyou for your input. I recognize some of the things I have been doing wrong. Yes, I have pushed too hard to stay close with good intentions. But you both have helped me realize I need to back off. I do have things I need to deal with of my own. “My mother used to say :You’re no good for anyone else, until you are good for yourself.” I need to back off and give my friend a break. I need to work on myself too, so that when he is ready to have people around, I will be in better condition to help him. It is sad, both us can be very selfish at times. Thats not right either. He is very busy with work right now. And I have decided to wait for him to come to me when he is ready to. He doesn’t live close by at all. So I do worry about him, but I trust him. And I trust in his ability to take care of himself. I just hope he will come to me for help when he needs it. And that he will let me know he is ok (when he is ready). It’s sad when I discover that I harm more than help. That has got to stop. I do believe we have made some progress though, and have hope that will continue.I am much better than I was yesterday, gradually everything is working out I think. I pray that it does. I pray for him and myself both. And for everyone else who is in pain and suffers. He has had terrible ups and downs and has lashed out very often. I forgive him. I hope he knows that. I think he does. I still have patience and understanding, though it is difficult at times. Sometimes he pushes people away but does things to pull them back to him and keep them close to him.He is a highly intelligent person and he does have some control issues. He likes to keep ALOT of control. I can see how. And I bear with it. I want to bear with it. It would be nice if one or both of you could come back when you are able and have time to give me some help in that area too. I would appreciate it. Thankyou both again, and thankyou Dave too. Being here has helped me talk about things I needed to talk about. Talking helps us to cope and to heal. See y’all later. Heart and prayers for all here.

Hello Graham, yes it does all make sense to me! Thankyou, you have helped me. And I appreciate it very much. Things are becoming clearer now.But I still need to learn, still need to read (the right things) and I continue to pray and have hope. That is all I can say right now. I have things I need to attend to but I will come back again. Be well Graham, you and everyone else. And Thankyou again!

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Marni and Gunzee I hope you get this as this is not the typical blog for David anymore. Please contact me at angryaswipe@gmail.com
I have contact with Tanya and Donna and we email each other regularly. The real monitored blog for David is a word press thing and you have to register for it and you do not get the comments from the others either. So please contact me at my email. I promise to not share your email address with anyone else without your permission but I do have something very exciting to tell you so please contact me. Donna is doing fairly well but still shaky and Tanya had to go to Spain to go court to try and get some of her money back on her investment there that is not happening.

Yes there is some people using this one

Dear all,

I was wondering if I could ask for some advice…..
I have been suffering from a teenager with hyperactivity and tried comitting sucide at 15 years old, since then i have always been hyperactive but over the last year my partner has noticed a marked change from my “normal” hyperactivity?? I trust him to an exsent and he was getting up set so I went to the Dr as he had asked me too. She referred me to the mentual health assessment unit at our local hosptial and she said that she thinks it maybe bi-polar…I dont think that Im any different than Ive ever been and as I told my GP not really needing more than 4 hours sleep a night nd still getting to work early and working 10 hour days perfectly without error has got to be a bonus surely, she disagrees and said tht I maybe heading for a crisis, of course I dont agree with her, I have never been so productive and am at the top of my game I can responde quickly to all situations and its like I can see into the future but I get seriously agitiated at times and shout and feel like hitting people that I dont even know, my partner says he cant take the shouting anymore and the aggression but I think hes just whinging ad cant take my success.
However, saying this I have a trusted friend at work and when I told her of these things she said that she had noticed too and so has my boss, i dont want to go to the hospital but I would really value someone opinion. please could someone respone and tell me what they think?? i also had 8 roasy beads turn up at my house tht Id ordered but i dont remember ordering……..

Louise78
I’m not a doctor so I can’t tell you if you are BP. That said, your behaviours appears not to be inconsistent with a BP symptom, one of hypomania. That’s just how I was, too! One of my bosses said I fired on 6 cylinders, not just the usual 4! That was before my diagnosis. And I DID crash, and I barely survived it, too. But I am much safer now I have received the diagnosis and getting appropriate treatment.
But there may be other explanations, too.
So, my advice is – go along with the referral to the hospital, if only to rule out BP.
But if it is BP, don’t worry! It seems to are presently functioning even if you are rather hypo (for whatever reason) and there’s no reason why you can’t continue to be so … if you were to get appropriate treatment. But be sure – IF you are BP then you WILL need to be treated or, more as like than not, you’d end up dead. BP is not to be messed with. Probably 20% of people diagnosed with it succumb to it, and probably a lot more who are not diagnosed because you can’t diagnose BP in someone who is dead! So, it’s worth your while just checking, to make sure you ain’t BP!!!

Hi Graham,

Can I ask what happened to you that made you think that something wasnt right or did you have a crisis and it started from there?