Hi,
How’s it going for you today?
You know the most important part of any movie, right?
It’s not the title.
It’s not the director.
It’s not the actors (even if they are the biggest stars in Hollywood).
It’s the PLOT.
Without a good plot (a good story), it doesn’t matter how good the director is, or even how good the actors (stars) are.
The only way a movie is going to be good is if it has a good plot.
Well, in a way we can compare our lives with a movie in that we are living out a sort of plot as well.
But what if we want to change the end of our movie?
Well, The only way to change the end of a movie is to change the plot of that movie!
That suggests that we have some control over our lives, doesn’t it?
Many people with bipolar disorder and their supporters don’t believe that, unfortunately.
But I have talked to many, many people who HAVE changed the plots of their lives so that they WILL have a happy ending!
These people have bipolar disorder, but have learned to manage their disorder.
Even some of the most hopeless cases have been able to turn their lives around to become bipolar success stories!
For some, stability was just a dream – something that seemed unattainable.
But with concentrated effort and a lot of hope, they finally reached it – they changed the end of their movie by changing the plot of their movie.
How does this happen?
Well, when your loved one is first diagnosed, they will be put on a treatment plan.
That treatment plan should include medication and therapy.
Those are just the basics, though – the foundation of their treatment plan.
They also need to do some work themselves to get better.
During their “movie,” both of you will have “parts” to play.
So will other people, as your loved one develops a good, strong support system.
They cannot get better by themselves, which is one of the points I make in my courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Your part is the role of the supporter.
You need to be patient and understanding.
You need to be supportive, without enabling your loved one (doing things for them that they can do for themselves).
If you are living with your loved one, then you need to keep as stress-free an environment for them as possible.
But you also need to remember to take care of yourself first, because if you’re not healthy (physically, emotionally and spiritually), how can you take care of your loved one?
Your loved one has a role in this “movie” as well.
Their “role” consists of:
– taking their medication
– seeing a doctor, psychiatrist and therapist
– sticking to a good sleep schedule
– eating a healthy diet
– exercising
– being productive
– etc.
Taken all together, it is a recipe for stability, which is the happy ending of the movie for anyone with bipolar disorder.
What about you and your loved one?
What have you done to change the plot of your “movie”?
Can you tell me some of the “tricks” that have worked?
Post responses below
Your theme here is good, and the things that my sister and mom are going through are not easy for them right now. My sister is complaining to me that she feels like she and mom have no say in how things are being done in the home that they are living in right now. I have had to set up outside care for them as in someone to make sure they have good meals, get meds in on time, and have proper hygiene care on a regular basis. They are complaining that they don’t like all of the uniformity of their lives. They would rather have it more relaxed as in not being as ‘hygenically’ conscious and being late with their meds, and eating what they like, not what is ‘good’ for them. Which has caused them to not be doing what is best for their ‘physcial’ health, but has them happy emotionally. My mom is not able to do the things she use to do, as she is in recovery now,at home with meds, and someone fixes the meals, and does the housechores etc. My sister feels like her life is being run, like a ‘machine’ and not as a person. The desire is to make sure they have the things that are best for them, but they seem not to appreciate the things that are best for them. So the movie plot they have changed from is ‘what I want to what is best for you’ . That they are not happy with, but need to have done for them, since neither one is able to do what is most needed. That is the trouble they are causing themselves not that they have any control over that, as my mom also has had a schematic stroke, which in the mind of one of the staff, is also a form of dementia which means she is not capable of making wise decisions. So I have had to be power of attorney to handle the business of paying the bills. Not a happy time for either one of them, but a necessary time of having the care for them. I can’t be in two places at the same time to take care of my husband and my mom and sister as they live many miles from each other. So that is why I have had the hired help to do the job.
Hi Dave , Just read your blog after being away from it for 3 weeks:and I have to say your blog is quite remarkable it seems to be predictive of ongoing issues I have as a supporter. Anyway I agree we supporters do need to assess all the time about our commitment to our loved one., and you are right this means in all weathers in all things and at all times. I just today had to reevaluate my commitment to my daughter Rachel shes having a mini mood swing about the prospect of starting her new job- she doesn’t want to get too excited because as she says it may all go pear shaped – so shes got herself into a funk about everything- kinda reminds me of teenager mood swings- so now she’s in her bed being miserable and she has been ther for a couple of days. So just an hour ago I hopped into my car took the kids and went for a drive – and as I was going over a speed bump I thought Eureka that’s what it is – a speed bump Rachel is going over a speed bump!!!!
And I am so blessed- Rachel takes all her meds on time, she always sees her psychiatrist she also attends to her appointments with her psychologist, she is a thoughtful and caring daughter and an extraordinary mum to her 2 boys.
Yayy for Rachel so I drove all the way home and cooked us all a stupendous lunch and got my daughter out of bed to eat it – hen I asked her if she could go and get us some vegetables and fruit from the fruit and veg merchant down the road and her oldest son is at present engaging her in a book he is reading ( he is 4.5 years.).
And I am recharged and commited to being a supporter.
Have a good day and thank you Dave.
REgards
Shona
Dear Dave, et al, It’s really not a secret, but a very workable solution. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and also live w/Bipolar II Depression on a daily basis. I stick close to my daily routines, and atten a MINIMUM of 3-12-Step mtgs./wk. Today, I ‘forgot’ abt. my therapist’s appt., but did return her voicemail and apologized. So I don’t do it perfectly, but I give it my best daily. It’s prolly not recommended for those who live w/bipolar illness, to drink alcohol, anyways. I cannot function w/o a Higher Power of my understanding, and staying sober is the ONLY WAY God has, to communicate to my brain. Thanks for letting me share.
My “plot” has come from a “horror movie” to a “drama.” I’m in recovery, and am pretty stable right now. But the state of my PHYSICAL body overwhelms me sometimes.
I have been going along rather well, up untl almost 3 weeks ago, when I developed vertigo. Welll, my doctor thinks that’s TOO long to be dizzy and have the propensity of falling. I am scheduled for a brain MRI next Tuesday. All SORTS of things are going through my mind right now – what if I have a tumor, or had a slight stroke? No matter how “successful” I am with my bipolar, my body screws with me, and I’m plunged into another “drama.” I have been told by my neurologist NOT to drive – but I have no one to take me to get groceries, which I failed to buy yesterday. My boyfriend will take me when he gets here from downstate tomorrow afternoon – but I would probably drive myself anyway.
Could you wonderful people here on Dave’s blog please pray for a positive resolution to what has become just another problem in my life? Sure would appreciate it 🙂
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I left early from work last night. I did not go into work today. My depression has hit my rock bottom. There is no where to go. I am at the lowest. I’ve been sleeping most of the day and when I wake up, I just pop a handful more pills. I finally called the support line. She said that although I am not actively suicidal (not just taking the whole damned bottle at once), I am likely killing myself slowly and more deliberately. I have a really bad pain in my middle abdomen area. I also have a burning sensation throughout my whole body. I think I may be dying. Not bad….I have been trying to off myself for longer than I have written on this blog…about a year, wouldn’t you say, Suzanne? My friend, Suzanne, saved my life once. She was right though. For those of us who are suicidal, it is just a matter of time before we kill ourselves. It is just a fact. Who knows, with any luck, maybe this will be my last entry. Oh Dave, nice work. I know you help a lot of people who really want to be helped. Oh, Suzanne, the emergency operator decided not to call 911. Kind of funny, but I convinced her that I wanted to die and was intent on doing it. She was nice and wished me luck.
To TRIED THEM ALL: Since you won’t allow me to email you anymore, I have decided to reach you through Dave’s blog. I am sooo sorry that you feel so hopeless/helpless that you have to actively end your life. You are such an INTELLIGENT and CARING person, and both Sue and I will miss you terribly. You have impacted my life in a very positive way, and I will hate to see you go. But – as you say – if you’re bound and determined to kill yourself, then I won’t attempt to stop you. You’ve made up your mind that life has NO meaning, and you would be worse off living and trying to improve that life. I hope some day down the road, that I can give you a hug in the Great Beyond, and tell you how MUCH I really care for you. Love allways, Suzanne
Dear Dave,
It is amazing how much you had helped me. Thank You! I tried everything possible with my ex- husband and nothing worked. He was a Deacon of the Catholic church, a great husband and father, has his own business. He stared about 3 years ago acting weird, lying, coming home late, screaming and fighting with friends, family and people in church. One night he went to our summer house in NJ, and since then never returned to our house in NY. He went on and filled for divorce, spend all the money in Lawyers and nonsense and also left church and everything that we built in 22 years. Dave, I tried all the tricks that you can image, but nothing works and even after that crazy divorced I forgave him and he went back to do worst things. Our 3 children are devastated and I think that I do not have the energy to continue changing tricks and telling him that he needs a Dr. What do you think Dave?