Hi,
Hope you’re doing ok.
I am actually coming home today so I have to write this really fast because I have to beat the traffic. I like possibly an 8 hour drive.
Anyway let’s jump into today’s topic.
Many people get frustrated with bipolar disorder.
Especially supporters.
Their loved one says something strange.
Their loved one isn’t acting like they normally do.
Something happens.
Their loved one is in another episode.
They can’t get in touch with the doctor right away.
They don’t know what to do.
Many supporters don’t just get frustrated.
They give up.
They give in.
They basically feel like it’s all over –
Like they’ve lost the war.
Well, if you’re really feeling like this, I want to encourage you.
I know, you’re probably thinking I’m crazy, right?
Where can I find anything in all this to be encouraged about?
I’ll tell you.
It’s this:
You may feel as if you’ve lost the battle, but you have NOT lost the war!
With bipolar disorder, it’s like you’re in a “forever” kind of war.
And sometimes you may feel as if you’re fighting battles right and left, all around you.
But the fight against bipolar disorder is still a war that you can WIN!
In my courses/systems, I teach different strategies for managing bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
STRATEGIES.
Now that’s a wartime word.
In any war, the “good guys” have to have strategies.
It’s how they fight their battles.
It’s how they win the war.
Well, as a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, you have to have strategies, too.
Strategies like standing beside your loved one even when they’re in an episode.
Strategies like supporting your loved one through good times AND bad.
Strategies like making sure your loved one takes their medication.
Strategies like helping your loved one to manage their disorder.
Strategies like being the best supporter you can possibly be.
Remember, you’re in a war, too –
You have an enemy, too –
And that enemy is called bipolar disorder.
But that enemy CAN be defeated!
Yes, you’ll lose some battles along the way.
BUT…
If you DON’T GIVE UP…
If you DON’T GIVE IN…
You WILL win the war!
What do you think?
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Thanks! I needed this one today…
My wife is in the middle of an episode and I am to the point of giving up!
Hi Dave
Thankyou so much for your daily emails! It’s almost as though you read my mind and know exactly what has been happening in our home, that’s how much they apply to me most of the time! Your emails have kept me sane many a day and are much appreciated. Just one problem though, my husband will not even consider the possiblity that he has bi-polar and gets so angry at the mention of it! He only takes his meds that our gp gave him when he feels like it eg, when he feels “edgy”. He has been in an episode for a year now – the mood swings etc I can handle somehow and I see my own therapist for help, but the one thing that I really am struggling with his his adulterous infidelities. I just can’t take his unfaithfulness any more – I understand it is one of the symptoms of the bi-polar, but how much more must I put up with? We have been together for 27 years and these affairs/flings have been many. I love this man but this is driving me out of my mind, the hurt is so bad. Anyway, thanks again for the encouraging and informative emails and for your dedication to helping sufferers and supporters alike.
I will make this short Can Medical Marijuana be a treatment for bipolar?
I needed this today! For all of the times my friend has no regard for my feelings, ignores my advice, seems not to care that I sacrifice my time for her, has a negative attitude towards EVERYTHING, i needed to be encouraged that with each battle lost there are many more won, on this road to finding a way to cope with and manage her disorders in order to win the WAR. Thank you for your emails. There have been many days, like this one, that your email speaks exactly to the situation I am in. I firmly believe God has a part in that and I praise Him and thank you for being a help to so many.
Your email today reminded me of music I listen to on occasions when I am more in a manic rage episode….Five Finger Death Punch (5FDP). There is a song “Way of the Fist” that the lyrics are similar to your email…they have explicit lyrics but when in a manic rage…so are our thoughts! Here are the lyrics…I don’t remember asking you about your imperfections
You might win one battle…But know this, I’ll win the war!
You got me thinking…Do you think that there are others bi-polars like me who love different kinds of music at different times…depending on the mood? I love classical at times I am calm, hard-core at times I’m in a rage, dance music when I have pent up energy and can’t release it, sad songs when I want to cry…etc. But I can’t stand sad songs when I’m in a manic rage. What are your thoughts.
Hello dave
First… thank you for reminding me to take my pills. I live in Thailand and I usually read you emails before I go to sleep…. I helps me remember to take my pills.
ANyway I think the Bipolar war apply to supporters and those suffering from Bipolar themselves. sometimes I am just so sick of having bipolar that I want to give upon life, the amount of pills that I haveto take each day, the people that I drive away from my unstable moods, the hurtful things I say to the people I love. When I come to realize the damage I have done, I feel guilty. I just want to throw all this bipolar stuff away, If i could shed it of like some lizard skin I would. But I couldnt so …. whenever i feel fine enough I would try to apologize to love ones and pick up myself to carry on and engulf myselfin projects so i dont think too much. Its not always easy….but at least realizing the wrongs makes me feel like Bipolar is deal-able.
thanks again for reminding to take my meds…. thanks Dave
http://www.my2polar.blogspot.com
For Tried Them All:
Your comment from yesterday about taking a lot of Lorazepam. I do not know how much you have, but this drug is a “cousin” of Valium and I took a full month’s prescription once, a long time ago. of Valium. I did not go to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, but I did get sicker than a dog and couldn’t stand up and walk so I had to crawl out of my bed to the bathroom to vomit my brains out! This went on for about 3 days. So you might want to re-consider this thought and recall what happened the last time you did something like this. You are definitely angry with what I believe to be “God”, and I have been there too. I am past that now and I have a different view on life, as you must know by now, but you also know that my life is no “bed of roses” either. And you know how I worry about you when talk about taking your life, so please do not do this. I am praying for you to post a comment saying that you have changed your mind about suicide and will keep trying for your Mother’s sake, my sake, and for your own sake! Please!!!! You know you can always email me whenever you want to, as I am a true friend for you and I only want the best for you.
On 2nd thought, maybe my life is like a bed of roses, a very thorny, wild rose bed!
The thing about this war is, there will be changes all along the way. Some periods are very calm and everything is working fine, then something happens; medications that used to work fine don’t work anymore, your loved one decides to do something different in their life, and that can cause that scary thing: CHANGE! Their living situation changes if they are on disability and other services that have placed them in a hospital, a board and care, or transitional house, or their own apartment, and all this is change that everyone has to get used to. We love the status quo when things are working fine, because we have been through horrible scary times with our loved ones. So we have to be willing to accept changes and hope that things will be okay, and not be scared. Especially medication changes, they are the worst for everyone, but can be for the better in the long run. The thing you can count on is change.
Dear Dave,
Our 29 yr old married daughter is suspected bipolar or schizophrenic. After a 1-wk hospitalized episode, she’s now experimenting with doctors and meds. As a supporter living in another state there doesn’t seem to be a plan (I’m HIPA approved). Am hooking up with NAMI. Other advice?
Sincerely,
Carol
P.S. Have been reluctant to purchase your material for 2 reasons:
1. Daughter’s unconfirmed diagnosis
2. Upbeat daily e-mails aren’t very educated: misspellings, slang, wordy, w/ sales gimmicks. Entrepreneurial spirit (greed?) getting in way of message. A softer sell may work better for you?
Dear David, I decided to go and talk to my GP. I’ve an appointment for friday and am not looking forward to it at all. I’ve been off all meds since april. I’ve also lost all faith in doctors and their guessing game with meds. I’ve only ever had one up eposide and the rest has all been down, I also suffer from aneroxia nervsoa. my hubby has suggested i try st. johns wort for the depression, has anyone ever tried it. or anything else. I’m a mam of 5 young kidz, and live in Ireland. from reading your site there isnt much different in doctors or poeples understandingfor that matter.I feel my depression is having a terrible affect on my hubsand and children and really feel lost in fhis world. A friend txted me earlier today and said always remember that your angel is watching you.I txted back that I think my angel has gone on holidays, or even moved to a warmer country, and that i dont blame him i would to if i had me to mind.
Hi Dave,
I know you will be glad to get home. Thanks for todays message. I have a question concerning the bipolar war, it is what do you do when your loved one is not in a episode but is still delusional? I have written you before about my son 35 that has bipolar. He has been in the hospital since August and has moved to another hospital. The social worker and his doctor said he was stable and could be released but they have to find him a group home to go to. He can’t live with me because I am disabled and can’t take care of him the way he needs to be taken care of. My son looks good and seems like his old self, he is not psychotic or hallicinatory but he has the delusions he can’t seem to get past. Actually I don’t know if it is grandiose or delusions what is the difference? I am afraid when he is release to a group home he will act on the delusions and find out the hard way its not true and then might do something tragic like commit suicide. What do I do? How would you handle this? He is taking his meds. he is own Lyrica, Lithium, and klonapin. I don’t know what to do. If you can help me please send a reply. I would appreciate anything you can tell me.
Thanks,
Your friend
Ann
Yes this is a war. I’ve been battling for 16 years as a supporter of depression of which the past 3 years as a BPD supporter. My loved one progressed from depression to BPD according to the psychiatrist and psychologists. I’ve been served with a divorce and am currently in the process of the divorce. She also bought a new vehicle without my consent. I learned today that my son wants to go with his mom which means that the other two kids might also want to go with their mom. Its not clear how much the kids are being manipulated in the process. This is extremely hard to accept. I also learned today that my loved one went for electrochemical impedance spectroscopy (EIS) analysis which seemingly indicates that she doesn’t have BPD. The question now is whether she was misdiagnosed and given medication for something she doesn’t have or whether this is a strategy to get primary care of the children. Things can get fairly quickly out of hand. The only resolve is to have faith that the truth will prevail. Our strength is in the Lord and I pray that we all get the wisdom and strength to deal with the situations.
Regards
Dawid
Hi Dave
That is exactly what I experience each and everyday. The minute I go into a state of depression or high my husband get irritable with me. In fact it does’nt really help me much, because instead of supporting me me runs away from the situation. I am fighting the battle on my own for years now. I sometimes wish I can rather leave this marriage as I might as well struggle with my situation all on my own. It makes it so much easier to win this battle if you work as a team. He rather gives up all the time and keep himself busy with his own doings. My condition will be more under control if he can just get a wake-up call and realise that he is not really supporting me in anyway, but expect my condition to be stable all the time. You can never win a war by yourself and unarmed, you must have a team that is really armed and ready to battle and only then you will win.
Thank you. I am glad I can share my feelings with someone.
I AM IN A DRASTIC MEASURE DECISION. IS THIS E-MAIL SHOWN PUBLIC.
PLEASE RESPOND.
DESPERATE MOM, OF BI-POLAR ADULT CHILD.
I feel my husband is giving up on me. He loves me with all his heart but he doesnt know how to take care of me anymore. He doesnt want to leave but he doesnt know how to stay.
I feel like I am making him bipolar. He is starting to not make sence at times. He gets me confused and makes me think Ive lost it. I start double guessing myself and am not sure if he really said what I remembered or if I made it up.
I know he loves me and I know he doesnt want to hurt me but he doesnt know how to help me and he isnt willing to learn how to. How do I get him to want to go to the pshycologist with me? He thinks that the dr is for me to see and get help with not him, he doesnt have a problem and he doesnt need to talk to anyone. How do I convince him it is the best thing for me, for both of us, for our family?
Well, the battle rages on. I haven’t exactly “won” the war, but I feel that, as long as I manage the little things, the BIG things will take care of themselves. I’m in what the professionals call a “plateau,” meaning that my bipolar is “maintained,” with medications and therapy. My last hospitalization for mania was 31 years ago, and I’m STILL here! Of course, I have mini-episodes, but as long as I keep in touch with my supporters at the local community mental health clinic, I can “beat” them.
I live alone, and have NO live-in supporter, which makes dealing with everyday situations a little bit harder. My sleep patterns range from waking at 4 AM to getting up at 2:30 PM. And, I usuallly go to bed at the same time! I can’t seem to hear the alarms, but it seems I get embroiled in an exciting dream, and just stay there! Why is it our dreams are more interesting than our waking??!!
To JOE: I have a very good friend who has managed his bipolar with medical marijuana for 25 years. He takes his prescribed meds, but also uses weed to calm his episodes, which are frequent, being a rapid cycler. Of course, this is NOT recommended, but, hey, if it works for you, more power to you!
EVERY bipolar person is different; that’s a “given.” Some are more ill than others, and I can’t compare myself to the ones who are behaving badly in an episode right now. All I can say is – stay close to the Lord of Heaven, because it’s only through faith in Him and His good works, that you can maintain a semblance of “normalcy” with your every day crises. That faith has brought me through innumerable obstacles; prayer CAN be a powerful bulwark against the ENEMY.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country. BTW. have a blessed Veterans Day to all “free” Americans!
Thanks Dave for all your emails, if it wasn’t for those I would have given up on supporting my partner who is having an episode at the moment. We live in Holland and there is no help whatsoever. We are fighting this battle all alone with no understanding or help at all. No medication, nothing. If we win the lottery we would move to the States and get the best help ever. Thanks for keeping me sane. Claar
To Joe the people I know that smoke pot act like they are bipolar when there high…I really don’t know ,but pot is a mind altering drug its the moodness after the high that is tough to have to deal with. my ex smoked it on a daily bases you could not predict his mood each day and it was hell to pay if he ran out.
………..Help. I just had my son removed from the house yesterday by the police. he’s now sleeping in his car with all his belongings. I’m at a loss. He breaks my furniture. call me names. Is rude disrespectful and my 12 year old is watching. I don’t know what to do but to give up. I can’t afforded your course just yet. all my money goes to cleaning up this kids messes. I do feel like I’m the crazy one. But It’s nice to now your out there. I just wish you lived next door. We need help now!
Patty
Do alot of people have to go on social secuity with this disfunction?