Hi,
How’s it going today?
You know I like to hike, right?
Well, I was hiking the other day, and I saw this tree.
I know, you’re probably thinking, so what? People see trees all the time, what’s so special about this one?
Well, there was something special about this one.
Let me tell you about it.
This tree was really tall, thick, and bent.
You could tell it was really old, but some of its limbs weren’t fully formed.
There were holes in this tree.
Its trunk was not very pretty.
You could tell this tree had been through some pretty tough times.
BUT…
Its roots were strong…
Its upper limbs were free…
Its leaves were full…
And its blossoms were beautiful!
Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking…
You’re wondering what this tree has to do with bipolar disorder, right?
Well, I was looking at this tree and thinking about how it has so many parallels to life.
In my courses/systems, I talk about bipolar disorder and how to manage it, and how to deal with it on a daily basis. Some people have had to live with it a long time, and it hasn’t been easy.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Which brings me back to this tree.
I told you about how this tree was bent and not straight.
Life’s journey isn’t a straight road either, is it?
Especially a life that includes bipolar disorder.
I talked to one survivor who called it “a bump in the road I certainly never expected.”
I told you this tree had some limbs that weren’t fully formed.
So it had some flaws in it.
Don’t we all?
Especially people with bipolar disorder.
In fact, another thing I go over in my courses/ systems is the stigma still associated with people who have bipolar disorder.
Unfortunately, even family and friends are still ignorant about the disorder and may tend to stay away from you just because they’re scared or they don’t understand it.
One supporter told me, “We’ve lost all our friends and even some of our relatives. My husband’s own brother won’t come around any more, because he’s afraid he’ll “catch” bipolar disorder from my husband.”
Some people sacrifice the beauty because they only see the flaws.
Anyway, back to this tree…and its holes that I described.
We’ve all had holes in our lives, times when things went wrong. Gaps where we made mistakes, wrong choices, bad decisions.
It happens every time there’s a bipolar episode. It’s the one of the consequences of the disorder.
But can there be good despite the bad?
This tree was old, you could tell.
Yes, it had its flaws. But it was strong.
Its leaves were full, and its blossoms were beautiful.
Your loved one has bipolar disorder.
No one can argue that it isn’t easy. It’s hard. Sometimes it’s very hard.
But it DOES get better.
There CAN be good despite the bad.
It can bring you both closer together if you let it. If you both look at it as a common enemy that you have to fight, you can defeat it.
You can learn to have control over the disorder, instead of it having control over you.
You can do things to manage the disorder.
Like that tree, still standing strong after all these years and everything that must’ve come against it, you can learn to be strong and to stay strong, no matter what comes up against you, too.
Your loved one’s bipolar disorder may not get cured, but THEY can get better!
They can get STABLE!
That tree looked like it had had a rough start, but if you looked at the top of it, it sure looked like it came through ok – remember its full leaves and beautiful blossoms?
Your loved one can come through ok, too!
If they take their medication and stick to their treatment plan, there is no reason that they can’t live a ormal,
productive, stable, happy life with you.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
I may be a little “bent,” but I’m a SURVIVOR!! There are some “holes” in this “tree,” but, by following the treatment plan, I’ve come through to the other side, where I’m strong enough to help others get through.
Living through the hard times and the heart aches, makes the blossums that much more beautiful. Being “stable” for the last 32 years has been part struggle, part hard work, and part education about bipolar. The more we learn about how others “get through,” the stronger we become. These emails from Dave are a great way to start the day – thanks!
I’m an “old tree,” now, and my “scars” are not evident. But – they’re there, and I am reminded every day that if I just put one foot in front of the other and get out of bed and DO something – the day is not a total waste.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
mr. oliver,we spoke on phone about mid last yr and i explained my wifes situation– and that your course was not for us. i requested a refund which u agreed to and still have not received it. I spent around $40.00 in return costs. I would appreciate u sending me the refund A.S.A.P.
I appreciate your prompt attention in this matter
thank u very much–and GOD bless u and your family and your work in helping people w/ bipolar and supporters
Good Morning David,
Thanks so much for your wonderful e-mail
this morning, about the tree. You are
so good at giving examples about bipolar
God Bless you Have a great day.
Sincerely, Darlene
Dave, thank you for your daily encouragement. It’s a great way to start the day.
Hi Dave,
I liked this posting and find it very true. Every time I come through another episode I have grown to know more about myself and the bipolar just like the tree. Yes I have holes in me where times have been rough but I like to look at them scars instead. When I look back on my life and those scars I can see how far I have come in my life. When the storms of life come and the wind blows,yes I bend but so far have been able to go back to standing strong.
I do wonder though when you wrote this though. It seems that this is Jan. and you live in the N.E. where there are no leaves on trees this time of the year. Are you sure you didn’t see snowflakes instead ? (LOL)
Hello Everybody,
I often find that irregularly shaped plants are more beautiful just for varying from the norm. Also, they often tend to be hardier. My Mother has ‘Green Fingers’, because she handles her garden quite roughly, but most things thrive. When she helped me to prune my rear garden some weeks ago, she accidentally cut off two Rhododendron twigs with buds on them and quickly pushed them into an old bucket of earth. Whilst I was washing the dishes and gazing wistfully out of the kitchen window towards my pet’s cemetery yesterday, I suddenly noticed that BOTH branches are growing into new plant bushes and beginning to flower!
Nightlady, after your e-mail, I’ve been searching for my book, ‘Moon Time’ again, as it claims stuff like if one files nails on Friday nights, they grow stronger, etc., but can I find it? NO! I live within an old Victorian building with its original features which include a lot of built-in cupboards, so every room, including the bathrooms, have books in them. I spent eight months re-newing a Library book because I couldn’t find it. In my mind it was smaller and with a different cover to what it actually is, as I found it by accident one day on the first shelf in my bedroom. It was thicker and larger than I’d remembered, so that’s why my eyes had repeatedly dismissed it! I’ve asked Martin to look for it because he’s only just learned his Alphabet (Joke!), but as he’s not got any preconceptions, he’s more likely to discover it for me.
Well, life’s been quiet today. My Dad came to see me with a load of Presents this morning to cheer me up over losing my Doberman and regular dog walkers this afternoon have demonstrated their sympathy, but I’ve spent a lot of the time in bed watching soppy old films. Ironically, I was determined to clean the place perfectly before my Operation was due, but was too busy helping Martin with his work, but I’m now glad that I’ve still got some of his paw marks and hairs about the premises. We threw out his old, worn-out three-seater sofa last night and replaced it with a freely donated pastel green leather one instead, to encourage my Border Collie to use it as a bed. However, he only goes on it when Martin’s grooming or playing with him. He’s showing respect for my Doberman.
Liz, I hope that you got my brief message which I’ve just left you on the Bipolar News Blog from last Friday and hope that you’re feeling better?
Take care all,
Sue and all the animals. x
I particularly enjoyed this article you sent me today. I have bipolar II with depression and have a very hard time coping sometimes. Sometimes it defeats me and all I want to do is stay in bed and feel sorry for myself. I used to give in to it but now when I feel this way, I pull myself together and get up, get dressed and go outside to see all the beauty around me in nature. Can you tell me, please, of all the bipolar medications out there, one that doesn’t cause huge amounts of weight gain and don’t cause potential for diabetes? I was put on Depakote when first diagnosed and gained 60 pounds!!! The worst part of it all is I haven’t been able to lose very much of it and I get depressed at the way I look, I was always tiny, now am 4 dress sizes heavier. My doctor tried me on Zyprexa which made me feel wonderful, but started to make me gain even MORE!!!
I am now on Geodon — I don’t know that it helps me or not. It keeps the weight on me though. A friend told me about Wellbutrin and actually losing 30 pounds when she was put on it. Do you know anything about this drug? Is it a bipolar medication? Anything you can tell me would be greatly appreciated. I know you always say in your e-mails you are not a doctor or therapist but I thought maybe with your extensive knowledge of the disorder and people with it, you might be able to enlighten me as to any of the meds that cause you to LOSE weight!! Thanks, any help is greatly appreciated.
I do appreciate your story about the tree. It is however hard to help anyone who is not willing to face the problem. My mother says things like this:
It doesn’t matter what others think
I no longer have a daughter
If you were in Hell begging for ice water I wouldn’t let one drop of my sweat drop on you.
To disrespect your parents as you have done is unforgivable. My dad shot a gun at me and never spoke to me, Randy’s Mom broke a broom handle on his head and we both got whipped often. But you won’t hear one of us talk about our parents the way you have done. And to call your own mother bi-polar when I show emotions is showing me how sinful you are and I don’t want to ever have anything to do with you again.
All you want to do is to try and prove to the world how mistreated you are so they will pity you and they see thru you and your lies and the reason you are doing it is Jealousy.
when a child goes against their own parents and wants to be so overbearing and mean to them its time to stop being a parent (that is bullied) and get on the child’s level.
I am glad that you realize that I no longer wish to be your parent.
Time will come that you see things straight and I don’t want to be around when KARMA knocks on your door.
oh by the way, I’m not the one that needs help.
You wrote: “Sorry, I was trying to help with your mood swings offer help, support, and understanding.”
So if you think I am Bi-polar you are going to scream at me for being so mean the meanest person you know with emotional, belittle me degrade me and then say you was only trying to help hehe hehe hehe
So go your way and never look back, dear. Just don’t bother me anymore I don’t want to reply to a spoiled rotten child.
You say I have been so mean to you … yet you want to help me …Ha!~ one lie after another. No Thanks!~
SAVE THIS EMAIL ITS IMPORTANT TO SHOW THE WORLD YOUR MOM IS TRASH and Crazy :):):):)
So go your way and never look back, dear. Just don’t bother me anymore I don’t want to reply to a spoiled rotten child. I have had my last words with you and you with me.
So even as much as I want to try and help her, it just seems impossible. I guess I have to learn how to let go because we will probably never speak again now. I would like to hear anyones advise. You can respond to nicoleharrelson@hotmail.com. I am not afraid of talking with anyone about this. I welcome any and all comments. Thank you all for reading.
Sincerely,
Nicole Harrelson
So I guess no one would like to comment on my post from 2009. I guess I have the same feeling about supporting my bipolar mother, is to do nothing when you are so abused.