Hi,
There was an old folk song popular in the 60’s called “The Times They Are A-Changing”. It’s not a new concept. It’s one that’s explored in therapy all the time. It’s probably something which your loved one is probably having to cope with in their therapy sessions for their bipolar disorder, in fact. Because that’s one thing you definitely have to do if you have bipolar disorder.
CHANGE.
If it’s one of the most common themes in philosophy…If it’s so commonly talked about in therapy sessions…If it’s been around for so long…If it was even sung about in the 60’s…Then why is it still so difficult for people to deal with? Because change is hard! Have you ever tried to change a habit? Even a little one? Even trying to change a little habit is hard. I have a friend who just tried to change her dinner time from 4:30 to 5:00. So simple, isn’t it? Just a half hour difference! But it is turning out to be so hard for her! Every day at 4:30, her body expects to eat.
Her stomach starts rumbling. She wants to eat. So it’s hard for her to wait that extra half hour. So in her case…Just changing the habit of having dinner from 4:30 to 5:00 made a difference. It was hard for her. Now imagine how hard making a really big change would be for her!
In your case…You were asked to make a really big change when you were asked to accept the diagnosis of bipolar disorder for your loved one. Now, that’s a big change. Then you had to make some other big changes because of it. Like…You became your loved one’s supporter. And that was a change from just being their friend, or spouse, or sibling, or parent, or whatever. Then you had to try not to stress them. Which was another change…Because before you didn’t have to watch yourself or what you did so carefully. But now you don’t want to do anything that might
trigger their bipolar disorder, do you? So you had to make that change.
And, being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder…You may have had to make a change in friendships, or even family relations. Because of the stigma involved in having a loved
one with a mental illness. Not everyone accepts it. And they might not accept your role as a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder.
So there are several changes you have had to make. And change is hard. But change also brings with it GROWTH. And you have grown because of it.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
I have a bald headed friend and he was telling me that his sister (they actually get along) is the one caring for those with this disorder. This type of commitment has asked her to compromise healthy social life with others and ended up in having her confine herself in a privy chamber (where she is the only one invited)
Perhaps it was just too tiring to commit to something that was one-sided to begin with. Gotta go out of that “privy chamber” (we all have one it’s our secret hiding space where no one but us and our thoughts dwell – not letting in another soul and explore new commitments that will foster this Growth usually ending up in another type of room – this time to be shared with one other special person of the same interest.
Marie is funny! That’s one for Marie