Hi,
Hope you’re having a good day.
About 12 days ago, my mom started noticing some things that were “off.”
She wasn’t feeling too well, so she asked a friend to describe what she noticed about changes in her (my mom’s) recent behavior.
She thought she might be going into a depressed episode.
Well, I’ve told you before that my mom has systems in place.
So the first thing she did was call her therapist and ask her for an emergency appointment, and she was able to see her later that afternoon.
Then she made a list of the symptoms her friend had observed, and she took that list with her to her therapist.
Her therapist said that my mom was in a “rapid cycle” of bipolar disorder.
In my courses and systems, I talk about the different types of bipolar disorder. Rapid cycling is not a type of bipolar disorder in itself, but it just means that your episodes happen more frequently than usual.
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In my mom’s case, this is her “bad time” of the year anyway, so we watch her more closely than usual.
That’s why she was using her system.
And she did the right thing, that when she noticed that something was “off,” or didn’t feel right, she called her therapist and then went to see her.
By doing that, she avoided a full-blown episode.
These are what we call “mini-episodes,” or “relapses.”
But now my mom feels as if she’s failed.
So is a relapse a failure?
NO.
Especially if you’ve followed your system and done everything right.
Remember that with bipolar disorder, there are things you can control, and things you can’t control.
You can’t control the chemical imbalance in your brain.
But you CAN do something about it when the chemicals fire off unexpectedly.
You can do exactly what my mom did.
She didn’t fail. She did exactly what she should have done. And that’s not failure.
In fact, it’s just the opposite.
I’m proud of her for the way she handled the situation.
There was a time in the past when she didn’t have a system, and she would have gone into a full-blown episode.
But because of what she did this time, it shows me that she is following her system, and did the right thing.
We can call this rapid-cycling, or we can call this a mini-episode, or we can just say that my mom just experienced a phase of bipolar depression.
But the point is, she did NOT go into a bipolar depressive episode.
Because she followed her system.
Your loved one should have a system in place as well. And you should be a part of it.
You can help them by watching for signs and symptoms of an episode. Even if they don’t notice that they’re “off,” you can, and you can point it out to them, and encourage them to seek help (early).
And as long as they follow their system, they shouldn’t be going into episodes, either.
At least not as often as they did before their systems were in place.
But you can’t predict what their bipolar disorder is going to do.
Because there still isn’t a cure for the disorder, episodes are going to happen from time to time.
They can be minimized, though, and mini-episodes, or relapses are NOT failures.
Relapses should actually be expected, but if you catch them early (by watching for signs and symptoms of episodes), you can keep your loved one from going into a full-blown episode.
Odd. Guess what?
Hey, I just checked my email and my mom sent one that said how she wasn’t sleeping so she a) scheduled with her therapist b) called her psychiatrist and scheduled an immediate appointment.
My mom said that she is confident that a major gigantic episode like what happened in 2004 will not happen again because of all the systems we have in place.
What do you think?
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Post responses below
I enjoy getting your emails, reading how others cope (and don’t). I wish it were easier to get appointments with the relevent people, I have a good GP, but she isn’t really into Psychiatric problems – I am seriously thinking after 28 years to change her – I need MORE input and help BEFORE I get ill with an episode.
I work as clerical officer on a psychiatric ward – so there is generally support when I am not feeling good, nursing staff will talk things through when I feel edgy at work.
I did ask them to let me know if they see any side effects from the Lithium my GP prescribed as I am slurring my words when I need to make a point whilst talking – I learnt to take things slowly – like I am thinking before I speak, I also find my balance isn’t great, I am good at turning round and banging into doors, furniture and walls. it is better than loosing my cool, screaming at everyone – I don’t want to be a patient on a ward – I want back up in the community and on line.
So after waffling a BIG THANK YOU for all the common sense and for making it known I am not the only one that has this illness
Just recently – when I was feeling a little bit manic – a friend, Sue from OH, noticed that there was something a little bit “off” about my email to her. Although it was just a veering off of my “normal” attitudes and writing, she made note of the fact that what I was feeling and writing did not make sense to her.
After reading her email to me, I reassessed my emotional and “magical thinking,” and realized that I was on the brink of a mini-episode. She told me to call my therapist, or get a “tweak” on my meds.
Fortunately, I took what she said, and felt she was right – to a point. Although in my imagination I was feeling rather “giddy,” it WAS possible that – with all my external stressors – I MIGHT be going slightly hypomanic. On my own, I started to think that maybe I was “out of bounds” with my thinking, and took an extra Valium so I could sleep last night.
Having no live-in supporter, it’s GREAT knowing that I can count on people on this blog – especially ones I know as well as Sue – to alert me to any digression, and point me in the right direction.
While my imagination sometimes takes me to “higher” leves, I recognize that that is all it is – misinformation in my thinking, and I need to “come back to Earth” and act, and think, appropriately.
So – thanks, Sue – I needed that!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Firstly I would like thank all the good wishes yesterday who gave me kind advice, especially Mary, Vicky, Sue in OH(and Suzanne a while back) At the moment I’m living for these emails on this blog. Can I ask A question its a stupid question I know but going to ask anyway. When I was told Im bp I was was given Firstly an seroquel, then put on litium then anti depressant. (None of which I take now.) But nothing about bp was explained to me. So here’s the question Why is it worst to be mania/hypomania than to be very depressed? Its been 2 years since I was Mania/hypomania (I was never told Which) but it felt good Or am I looking back through rose tinted glasses coz things are so bad at the moment? I’m glad suzanne you got yourself back I only wish I had the same courage, the courage to trust doctors, and their guessing game.
thanks to all God Bless.Amanda
Your mother handled it beautifully. Kudos!
Having a “go to” is the ticket.
To AMANDA: The very WORST part of mania (or hypomania), is the CRASH at the end. Sure – the “high” feels like you’re on top of the world, you KNOW everything, ideas come to you in flashes, you’re able to do the work of 10 people, you have no need for sleep. BUT – you also are denying healthy outlets for your rapid need for expression.
AND – it’s true – you WILL ultimately “crash,” which will lead to a HORRIBLE depressive reaction. Mania does NOT last; the chemical imbalance reverts to the lowest point, NOT the highest.
As you look back on your mania (as I sometimes do), you remember the “holy” good times, and forget that it is followed by the worst of “down” times. Mania is illusory; it never lasts.
The best I can tell you is: if you find yourself in hypomania, try NOT to let it segue into mania. Go to your doctor (psychiatrist or PCP), and tell them what is going on. You may need to “tweak” your meds or talk to someone.
What I’m trying to say is: mania is NOT fun, and is always followed by the “bad” times. DON’T go there.
Two weeks ago my mom visited me. I soon realised that the doctor, obviously new to my mom’s condition, removed her from the lithium and prescribed something else, which i don’t even know the name.
The doctors has tried and tested everything on the market for my mom, and Lithium seemed to be the only the thing that works for her and she has been on it for 25 years. The reason apparently why, the doctor removed my mom from the lithium is that he said it affected her liver, kidneys and ulcer that she developed about a year ago. This i do understand very clearly but after my mom’s visit with me, i got a call from my brother last week saying that my mom is not well and she is having another episode, and every time this news is devastating to me, but what’s worse is that it’s been only 2 weeks that she has recovered from the previous relapse.
She is recovering now, slowly but surely. The worrying part now is that-is she really recovering, is she gonna get through this one or can this become a permanent state??? What can i do to help her?
Thanks Suzanne for answering my question. Now that you say it I did drop right back down to earth but at the time thought it was the seroquel that done that to me. Actually the second time when I didnt believe I was hypomania i blamed the seroquel again. I went to a very bad place that time. Hindsight is brillant. that was when I was put on the litium. Its all falling into place now looking back. If only i could just lift myself now. Thanks for all your support. I remember I dug my front garden and had the strenght of 10 men and then i got home from hospital couldnt lift a shovel. And had a garden half dug. Thanks again God Bless Amanda
I am thinking about Dee Dee. How are you? Thoughts and prayers your way!
Dave, I’m glad your mom has a system in place. as for me my husband rsee him more often right now because this is a very hard time for me. I’m finding no joy in my life right now all I want to do is sleep and that’s what i do. after 23 years of marriage my husband still believes that nothing is wrong as long as I don’t say anything. so I deal with this all by myself. I can’t even shed a tear if I wanted to. I know I’m in a epsoide but nobody cares so I just stay in my shell. which is pure hell at this moment.thank you for being there with your messages it helps. but I’m still alone.
Dave, that message I just left makes no sense. I was saying that I ask my therapist for more time with him, which he agreed. so now it’s every two weeks. Ihave been married 28 years not 23. but everything else is right.
I just crashed. My last episode was my longest – an entire year. Shat! Did I get into trouble? Yes I did. Now I’m struggling – still self medicating. I was on lithium for 17 years and lived then with debilitating side effects – had episodes regardless. Today, I have been on Nuronton(sp) for 7 years and have no side effects. I would hate to have to go back on Lithium. I still cycle on the Nuronton. I have a great support system. My psychiatrist is a genius and want’s to “play with my meds” again. My psychologist has been like a father for 23 years but is frustrated with me. My family has always supported me “sick” or not functioning well with society’s norm – I just don’t always do as all of them say when I’m unstable, and am not stable at least as far as society is considered. Anyhow, I just wish for the next Hypomania cycle so life, love, the World and my creativity is near perfect to me once again. I wonder, as others have on this blog, “…what could possibly be wrong with that?” And, yes, suzanne mania is an illusion but so is everything else in the Universe. It is all in our heads.
I don’t like being straight – it’s how I’ve coped. Although, I don’t have as bad lows as I do highs but it gets bad enough. However, I belong to a group http://www.grc333.com/ that is life changing and I want to participate once again.
Another illusion is thinking that things are as good or bad as they seem. They ain’t.
Thanks to you for your work David O, and thanks to the bloggers I read everyday! Wish me luck! I must surrender soon or die.
/Calling shrink
Dave does and excellent job sharing information about bipolar disorder. Not to freak out anyone, but there are several versions of bipolar disorder which only you and your doctor can clarify. I know this from living with my husband of 20 years and being educated like Dave on bipolar disorder. I am a NAMI facilitator for the family support group and have taken all their educational classes along doing research like Dave on the subject. I have also been very involved with my husbands doctors over the years.I want to clarify something about “rapid cycling”. Bipolar I Mixed is in fact a bipolar disorder where you are in fact a rapid cycler daily. Your mood can spike high and low several times a day or you can have both high and low at the same time.This is what type of bipolar disorder my husband has and is VERY diffiuclt to treat. It may seem like you are having a relapse or mini episode, but this is the norm on a daily basis. He has gone through several medication adjustments over the years. He has not had a major episode for 4 years, but we do have a plan in place for managing the illness. This is vital and he has a ritual every day he has to follow….DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) has helped tremendously with tools in place to react to the emotions with “mindfulness”. Turning off the negative tape that plays in your head to a positive one in reaction to stimuli and situations. Also, each time you go through a major episode your brain does not recover back fully to the briansprevious state before the episode and you can never get this back so it it important you prevent episodes by educating youselves as much as possible, keep journals daily of possible swings etc., eat a healthy diet free of caffine, sugar and too many carbs, and get plenty of rest. Most importantly to have an environment as stress free as possible. You can all manage, but it is a fulltime job and you are worth it!!!!!
I’m so happy for you, it’s a nightmere when it first happens, as a supporter you don’t know what do and where to go, let alone encorage them to go and seek help especially when they don’t think there is anything wrong with them.
Bless you.
Thank you for sharing the things you do. Your letters have helped me so much as a bipolar person. Mine is as well managed as it has been years and this is also a hard time of year for me. I didn’t put it together though until you were sharing about your mom, I’ve already averted a full blown episode this month thanks to you and your letters. Thanks again and God bless you!
It’s easy to rationalise and say your Mum has not failed, David. That is a logical conclusion and you’ve got it. But don’t forget, when someone with BP is in an episode. logic isn’t always something that they are blessed with! Our judgment is coloured. We see things differently, from another perspective. Plus, realise too that what she says is “failure” may be the nearest word she can find that comes close to what she ACTUALLY feels. She may easilt feel she has “failed” because, for all her efforts, she still couldn’t stop the bastard BP dragon from biting her. You know that’s not a failure, but if someone with BP continually hears that strategies will control the BP, and then finds the BP bites them in spite of the strategies, they are naturally going to feel they’ve done it wrong! That they screwed up thestrategies.
And another thing. There is an emotion that is hard to describe when this kind of thing happens. It is that dragging down feeling of a sense of helplessness and hopelessness that, whatever we do, the BP can still get us. The BP seems to stroll in and out of our lives as and when “it” feels like it, and it feels like there’s nothing we can do. We can implement strategies to hinder it, but ultimately, the bastard BP can break through when it “wants” to. It feels like it allows us to drift into a state of false confidence, waiting for us to feel confident in our ability to control it; then, like a dog that’s obedient for as long as it wants something from you, it will turn and bite just as soon as it’s in the mood to do it!
You see, the very BP itself reminds us we can’t do or be anything we want – because we can’t ever be totally free of the BP! It lurks in the dark corners even when it is asleep. And we are chained to it, not it being chained to us. WE are like he dogs on a long leash, when the Master (the BP) will let us roam around and think we are free, and then suddenly tug us back and remind us who it is that is really in control. It may not beat us, it may not even hurt us but, nevertheless, it reminds us of who really controls who. Like a sweet dog, we can influence the BP, but we are never the master of the BP.
I hope your Mum is feeling better very soon.
Thank You David for the good solid advice and situational examples.
As a bipolar supporter it helps a lot when you reinforce what I ve had a gut
feeling about. But I still feel like an outsider and observer trying to understand but never quite there. So tonight while wanting to send you a message I found this blog and people’s input (those that have BP) is very eyeopening. My loved one with BP is pregnant. She had a support system in place but now one of her therapists has taken her of the Lamictil she was on and of course she is having a hard time . Has anyone out there run into this problem. I understand that each case is different, but not having anything to compare to I am worrying and wanting to do something toward a good outcome. Blessings …. Renata
Hello,
My 12yr old daughter suffers from Bi-polar and is Midly Handicapp as well. She is going thhrough puberty and is suffering. We are seeing many epsoides of mania and are we are exhausted from it. We started her on a new Medication Abilify. I pray it will help she is only on 5mg and we will she her doctor so she can hopefully increase this. What other things can we do to help her through these rough times. Puberty is not a good mix with bi-polar. This is exhausting for her and the whole family including the dogs they hide. How long will this last?
Thank you
Silvya
Hi Dave,
Sorry I didn’t get in sooner. I know you are absolutely right about “Expecting” episodes to occur. We have to learn to Spot them when they are beginning and know what to do about it. I have mini episodes, but I am mainly a rapid cycler. I have brief intense cycles, but with my medication and having learned what to watch out for in my thinking patterns, I have avoided a full blown episode, or at least I don’t act on the feelings nor thoughts from a full blown episode when they do occur.
Being winter, the sunlight is at a minimum, add the pressure of the holidays and even people without bipolar can get depressed this time of year, so it is not uncommon for us with bipolar to go into depression this time of year. For me, I had a lot of psychological problems to deal with, and learning to deal with them has given me the edge on dealing with episodes when they come. When it comes to Bipolar it boils down to Systems, Systems and more Systems for dealing with these episodes. And not expecting them to happen is planning to fail, not just failing to plan. So for anyone with bipolar or anyone who knows someone with bipolar, preparation is the the best way to handle future episodes and keep the repercussions of them to a minimum…
Thanks Dave,
Bob
Dear Ranata,
I have heard that when women with bipolar are pregnant there are certain medications they cannot be on during their pregnancy. Please talk to a psychiatrist about what you can do to help her through this rough time. Maybe there are other medications she could take that won’t effect the baby. If she is going to be off her medications, ask the dr what you can do to minimize the effects of episodes and also ask at what point it is safest to take her to a psychiatric hospital should she become suicidal.
I don’t know more than that, but I do know women cannot be on certain medications when pregnant.
Sincerely,
Bob
Renata
What kind of difficulties is she having? What was her dosage and what was she told about how to stop taking the Lamictil? I.e. has she come off them slowly or just stopped?
please give me some guidance. My very bipolar daugter has an awful psychiatrist and is on medicaid and I cannot get her a gp for normal colds etc she was on a mess of stuff, went to jail for shop lifting , during an episode–taken off all her meds –seemed 100 % better even tho “dopey” but 3 days home went back on lithium herbody temp went crazy then dropped the lithium and takes 800mg Seraquel and is a mess–angry , cant process thoughts and I cant get her to her awful psychiatrist for2 months and cant find a new one. We have help from a so calledagency assigned to her that cant take her to appointmentsetc but cant get her a new psychiatrist andshes had NO psycologists for ages–NOONE wants medicaid and shes on it because of her illness–What can I do?? Were in the Harrisburg, Pa. area
I realy have increased my knowaldge of being Bi-Poler. I don’tremember you mentioning it is hereditary through the mother. My childern all are Bi-Poler just don;t tell them as they don’t want to Know. I have several Grandchildern who are alsoBi-Poler. Also being diabetdic makes it worse as when yourblood sugar gets low you can have episodes. My husband andI can both attest to that. Also as you say it makes life intresting.Thankyou for the information There is hope.Peggy pjb19438_2001us@yahoo.com
Gamble Keiffer,
I cannot advise you on where you get a decent pDoc, save to say what I suppose David would, which is search out the addresses of ever one of them you can find in a 20 mile radius, and if you still can’t find one, make it a 30 mile radius, and keep on going. Don’t give up.
Note, when you change meds, it can take several weeks for the body tyo adjust to them, to adjust to not having one, and adjust to the new one. Just be sure you are giving this enough time. Patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s what you have to survive BP as a patient and as a Supporter.
When you notice an “episode” comming on. Just take your Deceribration “medication.” For a Day of 2, problem solved. Not for Years, or life as the “dr” wants you too.
Well; you do not take Asprin, or Paracetamol in large doses daily, as you once had a Headache? Yes it would Kill you.
These “medications” are terrible for ALL parts of the Consumer. I need have ALL Vital Organs tested every 2 Months? NO they do not test the Brain, it is ment to be going to mush. Hence the Sole purpose of the psychiatrist and “medication.” Ruin Lives & Families!
Why is it I feel worse on the “medication?” Why does it ALL do the Opposite of what it is said to do? If the “medication” did as it is sold to do, ALL would want to take it.
Lilly maker of Zyprexa Olanzapine is in court for Lying, REMOVE ALL!
The psychiatrist organism, & its’ vile drugs. This is the problem with Mental Health. Overprescribing, no people skills…….
Stear clear of ALL in the Sicknesss trade!
Hi Dave,
I think I can learn from the system of your mother. I just had my episode last october, a manic one. I think what triggered this is that I fall for someone i met on the chatroom…and happiness caused by more blessings from God. I hope through that kind of system, i can now avoid having episode again.
My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar last March. She has had major difficulties tolerating the meds.She is struggling with topamax right now, but what is this system you are talking about?