Hi,

You know, we hear a lot about cholesterol these days. You may even have a problem with your cholesterol, or have to take medication to control it. Many people do, so you’re not alone. It’s getting to be in epidemic proportions.

But did you know…If you’re trying to control your cholesterol – That there are actually two types of cholesterol. And that it’s not enough to lower your “bad” cholesterol, you also have to try to raise your “good” cholesterol at the same time.

The good news is that you can do this through medication, diet, and exercise, so it can be done and you can stay healthy. The important thing is BALANCE. Treatment is a BALANCE between the medication, diet, and exercise. It takes all three.

When it comes to bipolar disorder, you need a BALANCE as well. For example: Most importantly, they need to take their medications religiously and as prescribed. They also need to go to all their appointments with their doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and any other professional on their treatment team on a regular basis.

It’s good for them to have a structure and a routine, and to have productivity to their days, such as having a To-Do List of things to accomplish. They should have a good strong support system that they can depend on.

They should stick to a regular sleep schedule as well, going to bed at the same time every night and waking up at the same time every morning, and getting 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

A good, healthy, nutritious diet is very important, too. They should avoid caffeine, and they definitely should avoid alcohol, as this could interfere with their medication (as well as other possible problems).

Exercise is very important for your loved one. They should exercise at least three times a week for at least 30 minutes, enough to raise their heartbeat. Even walking is good, as long as it’s regular and they stick to it.

If they can’t work a full-time job outside the home, maybe they can work a part-time job, or a job with flexible hours. If not, perhaps a work-from-home job, or a business you can start from home.

If they can’t work, they should at least do volunteer work. The important thing is to do something productive with their time. They should also have projects that they work on, and creative things that they do, like working in a garden, or building things. Hobbies are important as well.

They also need to do things that they enjoy. That is really important for their emotional well-being.

The important thing about all these things is that they create a BALANCE for your loved one.
Your loved one needs to be balanced physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

But don’t forget yourself! You need to be balanced as well. Pretty much all the things that I listed for your loved one could apply just as easily to you.

If you do all those things…You will be balanced as well, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And it’s just as important for you to be well-balanced as it is for your loved one to be well-balanced, even though you don’t have bipolar disorder.

It’s actually important for all of us to be well-balanced in general. So all of this is actually just good advice to follow. But one thing I would add for you: You need to take breaks from your loved one. If not, you will burn out. Make sure that you have your own support system as well, just as your loved one does.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Whether you have bipolar disorder or are supporting someone who does, YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS: Never wish you were somewhere else.

Haven’t you ever heard that old saying, “Wherever you go, there you are?” In other words, it doesn’t help to try to run from your problems, whether literally or just in your head.

You can’t wish your problems away. You have to deal with them. I know it’s hard. I have to do it too. (Try being me for a day! LOL) But NEVER wish you were somewhere else. “Somewhere else” has its problems there, too. Because, “Wherever you go, there you are.” And so are your problems. They’re still in your head.

A supporter doesn’t stop being a supporter just because they’re not home with their loved one.
Running away doesn’t help. And neither does wishing you were somewhere else.

I know it’s hard dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. And sometimes you’d rather be somewhere else doing something else (anything else). But it doesn’t help to think that way. In fact, you better NOT think that way, because it will only get you into trouble.

You have to face reality. You have to deal with what’s in front of you, both the good AND the bad. And there are ways to do that:

1. Remain positive
2. Be proactive
3. Maintain contact with friends
4. Maintain contact with family
5. Take care of yourself
6. Journal your thoughts and feelings
7. Exercise (it gets out your frustration)
8. See your own therapist
9. Take up a hobby
10. Go places without your loved one

These are just some suggestions. I’m sure you can think of some of your own if you try.

Another thing is that you have to separate yourself from your loved one. You have your own identity outside your loved one and outside their disorder. Make sure you remember that!

Also, try to separate your loved one from their disorder. I know that’s hard sometimes, especially because you have to live with them every day, but you have to try to do it anyway. Some people do this by looking through old photo albums or scrapbooks and remembering what their loved one was like before the disorder.

Other people keep in mind what their loved one is like when they’re not in an episode (and they’re grateful for that!).

But whatever, always keep in mind NOT to think about being somewhere else – it will ruin how you’re trying to stay “in the moment.” You may not be in the best “moment” of your life, but at least you’ll be dealing with reality. And that’s the important thing.

Many times, with bipolar disorder, you will be forced to “go places” with your loved one when they are in an episode, so it is even more important that you stay reality-based. One of you has to keep your head at all times and since you are the supporter, that someone has to be you.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

 

Hi,

Today I want to talk about how people in a manic episode make mistakes when it comes to other people (“friends”). They tend to choose the wrong people to surround themselves with (negative or toxic people) when they are in that episode, and it comes back to hurt them and their families.

Remember before when I’ve told you about Michele and how she taught her children about
picking the right friends by using the 10/2 Equation.

It works like this: If you are a 10 and they are a 2, and you hang out with them, you are not going to bring them up to an 8, they are going to bring you down to a 4!

So that’s what I’m talking about here. It’s hard for a supporter to watch their loved one go into a manic episode…Your loved one might get all outgoing and such (whether that is their normal behavior or behavior caused by the bipolar disorder)… and the next thing you know, your loved one is hanging around with these people…

…and you KNOW that these people are bad for your loved one, but they just use excuses, or defend their “new friends”, because they can’t see how these people are bad for them.

In a manic episode, your loved one’s judgment can be totally altered by their bipolar disorder.
They may not even realize that these people are bad for them (or you).

That can be so frustrating for you, because your loved one just won’t listen to you when it comes to their friends, because they think they’re ok, and they may get defensive about it. And you don’t want to get into a fight with your loved one over their choice in friends, but you may not know
what else to do!

It’s really tough, but you may even have to stand silently by and watch your loved one get hurt by these “friends.” Maybe they are just negative people and will bring your loved one down, but that’s not as bad as what some will do –

Some will take advantage of their “new friend” (your loved one while they’re in a manic episode) and possibly use them for their money, etc. Even so, your loved one might still defend them! It’s very difficult in this situation to get your loved one to listen to you.

For example: Michele (who works for me), her mom has bipolar disorder, just like my mom.
Michele spent hours with her mom, working out a routine for her to be able to manage her bipolar disorder. Her mom was doing great on her routine. Until she met Mary.

Mary became close friends with Michele’s mom. But Mary decided that Michele’s mom didn’t need her routine any more, and that she had better advice for her. So guess who Michele’s mom listened to?

Well, after awhile, Mary kind of floated away from Michele’s mom, and Michele’s mom went into a mini-episode, most likely caused by the fact that she had no routine to cling to, like she had before.

Do you see the important point that I’m making here? Now, I’m not saying that people with bipolar disorder shouldn’t have friends. But only that they should be VERY particular in who
they choose for friends. In fact, this is one of the areas where your loved one should trust you more than themselves.

A manic episode will definitely affect their thoughts and, like I said before, it will affect their judgment as well. If you see that your loved one is making a poor choice in friends, or even being taken advantage of, then you should tell them.

Hopefully, they will listen to you. Or at least think twice about who they are hanging around with. I will tell you this as a p.s. – Michele’s mom sure learned her lesson about choosing her friends more carefully. And now she sticks to her routine, too!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave