Hi,<\/p>\n
I got a comment on my blog recently that I wanted to share with you (It\u2019s kind of long, so bear with me. I have used R. for the daughter\u2019s name to protect anonymity):<\/p>\n
\u201cApart from a month where my daughter R. was very fragile and in need of respite care away from the home to settle down again not long after we relocated\u2026R. has been great . I must note that R. and I had talked about the probability of her becoming fragile because of the stress of the move so we had made contingency plans re contacting her mental health team and directing the transfer of her mental and medical details before we relocated \u2013 set up a meeting with her mental health team when we arrived , informed them 1 week after our arrival that R. was experiencing real difficulties and pushing to have R. accepted as an acute case into respite.<\/p>\n
But today I awoke a whole new ball game. R. has not slept for 24 hours. This morning she informed me cheerily that she had not slept last night \u2013 and how did I respond- I pushed the panic button \u2013 such a dumb idea!!! I yelled at her about that being a dumb thing today and if she wasn\u2019t careful I would ring up her mental health team pronto!!!!!!! And of course she jumped down my throat \u2013 she not only hyperactive at this point but a tad irritable!!! Realising there would be no way out of this dead end I had started in my panic \u2013 I left her at home without further argument\u2026.BUT\u2026..Then I felt so guilty then I began to get really really anxious at work \u2013 and THEN I remembered why I had persuaded R. to move \u2026\u2026..MORE FAMILY SUPPORTERS.<\/p>\n
So I put PLAN SUPPORT into place I rang her brother- he told me to settle down \u2013 that I wasn\u2019t a bad person, that number 1 importance\u2026I needed to look to my own health situation first(very high anxiety state)and my job was to settle that down swiftly. He would talk to his sister \u2013 they have a closer relationship and she does listen to him. My son rang me back a while later having contacted R. and elicited a plan of action from her. She was going to have a quiet day at home
\nand have a sleep and that if things had not improved by tonight then it would be Plan C the involvement of her Mental Health Care Team. I know its absolutely not R.\u2019s fault at all and its not mine either, the episodes come\u2026 just like that\u2026 It is the nature of the Beast called Bipolar.\u201d
\n———————————————————————————————————————<\/p>\n
Now, first of all\u2026It\u2019s easy to look from an outsider\u2019s point of view and point fingers at someone else\u2019s reaction to their situation, because maybe you think you might\u2019ve done things differently if you were her, but I don\u2019t want you to do that. I just want to look at this email objectively.<\/p>\n
This is a mom struggling with her daughter\u2019s bipolar disorder. And the daughter, too, is obviously struggling. Most obviously, with a current manic episode due to lack of sleep. Lack of sleep can be a trigger to a manic episode. But they have both just also faced a major move, which can also be a trigger to a bipolar episode.<\/p>\n
But one thing the mom did right was try to prepare ahead of time, as she talked about in the email. That was a good thing.<\/p>\n
She also, seeing that her daughter was \u201cfragile,\u201d said that she \u201cset up a meeting with her mental health team when we arrived , informed them 1 week after our arrival that R. was experiencing real difficulties and pushing to have R. accepted as an acute case into respite.\u201d That was a good thing too.<\/p>\n
But then something bad happened. Her daughter didn\u2019t sleep for 24 hours and told her so. Then
\nshe says, \u201c\u2026and how did I respond- I pushed the panic button \u2013 such a dumb idea!!! I yelled at her about that being a dumb thing today and if she wasn\u2019t careful I would ring up her mental health team pronto!!!!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n
This caused a fight between them, which wasn\u2019t a good thing. It\u2019s easy for us to see as outsiders that this woman should not have \u201cpushed the panic button\u201d and should have been more understanding of her daughter not sleeping.<\/p>\n
But then she tried to turn things around, at least. She put PLAN SUPPORT into place, and called her son. He gave her good advice, primarily to take care of herself.<\/p>\n
Then she says, \u201cMy son rang me back a while later having contacted R. and elicited a plan of action from her. She was going to have a quiet day at home and have a sleep and that if things had not improved by tonight then it would be Plan C the involvement of her Mental Health Care Team.\u201d<\/p>\n
There would be a Plan C if things didn\u2019t work out the way they planned, and that, too, is a good thing. You should always have a backup plan.<\/p>\n
Then she ends by saying she doesn\u2019t blame her daughter for her episode, and I want to stress that point. It truly isn\u2019t your loved one\u2019s fault, and it\u2019s good to remember that. Much of their behavior is due to their bipolar disorder. It\u2019s also good to remember, as this woman says, that it\u2019s not your fault, either.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
I got a comment on my blog recently that I wanted to share with you (It\u2019s kind of long, so bear with me. I have used R. for the daughter\u2019s name to protect anonymity):<\/p>\n
\u201cApart from a month where my daughter R. was very fragile and in need of respite care away from the home to settle down again not long after we relocated\u2026R. has been great . I must note that R.<\/p>\n