Hi,<\/p>\n
I\u2019m lucky. My workers are all virtual. That means that they work from home in other places \u2013
\nthey don\u2019t actually work in an office with me here. So I don\u2019t have to listen to complaints like other employers do. Some employers even put up a Suggestion Box.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately\u2026Most of the time they don\u2019t really get suggestions they can use. The business owners I have talked to tell me that the Suggestion Box is pretty much useless, actually. That doesn\u2019t mean that I don\u2019t ask for suggestions from the people that work for me.<\/p>\n
Oh no\u2026On the contrary. I\u2019m constantly asking them for suggestions on how we can improve things. And I respect their suggestions, because I respect them. Because they\u2019re not complainers.
\nSee\u2026That\u2019s the thing. You have to know how to effectively state your complaint.<\/p>\n
Actually\u2026You have to be able to state your NEED. You wouldn\u2019t like it if all your loved one did was complain all the time, would you? Well\u2026They sure won\u2019t like that coming from you, either. So you have to do what\u2019s EFFECTIVE. And what\u2019s effective is stating your need instead.<\/p>\n
If you state your need instead of just complaining, that will be more effective, and most likely will not lead to a fight.<\/p>\n
For example: Say you feel frustrated. And part of that frustration is coming from the fact that you\u2019re around your loved one so much that you feel like their bipolar disorder is smothering
\nyou (a common feeling for a bipolar supporter to feel). So you want some time to yourself.<\/p>\n
Instead of complaining: \u201cI never get any time to myself!\u201d You can say: \u201cI\u2019d really like to have some time to myself. I think that would really help me. Would that be possible?\u201d<\/p>\n
Do you see the difference? If you were to do it the first way, you would not only be complaining, but you could come off as being argumentative. This could make your loved one feel defensive.
\nAnd could very well lead to a fight.<\/p>\n
But in the second case\u2026You are just stating your feelings and stating your need. You are actually even asking for their help. This changes things. It actually involves your loved one. It makes them want to help you. And should not lead to a fight.<\/p>\n
You can also use this method in reverse. When your loved one says something that comes
\noff as complaining, try to look past the complaint to see what their real need is.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
I\u2019m lucky. My workers are all virtual. That means that they work from home in other places \u2013
\nthey don\u2019t actually work in an office with me here. So I don\u2019t have to listen to complaints like other employers do. Some employers even put up a Suggestion Box.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately\u2026Most of the time they don\u2019t really get suggestions they can use. The business owners I have talked to tell me that the Suggestion Box is pretty much useless,<\/p>\n