Hi,<\/p>\n
I have this friend, whose children are grown adults now, with children of their own. But she told me this story about one of them one time. She was trying to teach her children about lying, and about how it was wrong to lie. And one of them said: \u201cWell, Mommy, is it a lie if I tell you it\u2019s a lie?\u201d Well\u2026You kinda have to think about that one.<\/p>\n
Children do say the darnedest things sometimes, don\u2019t they? That\u2019s what my friend thought, anyway, when she really didn\u2019t know how to answer her son when he said that!<\/p>\n
Well\u2026I was thinking about that story the other day, when I was thinking about one of the biggest problems with bipolar disorder: LYING. It\u2019s a big problem, all right.<\/p>\n
Consider this email that I got:<\/p>\n
\u201cDave, I do love my husband, don\u2019t get me wrong. And I know he loves me. And I know he doesn\u2019t really want to hurt me. But he does anyway. You know how? He lies! He lies all the time! I\u2019m afraid he does it on purpose. Or maybe it\u2019s just cause of his bipolar disorder, I don\u2019t know, but that\u2019s what I wanted to ask you about. Do all people with bipolar disorder lie all the time? I mean, he even lies about stuff he doen\u2019t have to lie aobut! Things it\u2019s sure I would find out about, like that he doesn\u2019t do something he should. Like even that he doesn\u2019t go to see his therapist when he should go. I can see that the payment isn\u2019t made, he should know that. But he still tells me that he goes, and that\u2019s an outright lie. Like I wouldn\u2019t find out! What is he thinking? Is everyone with bipolar like this, or is it just him? And what should I do about it? I\u2019m at the end of my rope here. I feel like I\u2019m dealing with a teenager.\u201d<\/p>\n
——————————————————————————————————————–<\/p>\n
Hmmm\u2026Not as odd an email as you might think. I\u2019ve gotten emails like this before. Like I said, lying is a common problem with bipolar disorder. There are several reasons for this. And some of them came out in this email. For one thing, someone with bipolar disorder may appear to be lying, when it\u2019s really a result of their disorder.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what I\u2019m talking about: Say they have a manic episode. And they act a certain way during that manic episode, exhibit certain behaviors. Say they even hurt you with these behaviors. And you remember it, because it hurt you.<\/p>\n
But after the episode, they don\u2019t remember what they did. And you may think they\u2019re lying. But the fact is, that they really do NOT remember what happened during that episode. In that case, they\u2019re really not lying. It\u2019s just a part of their bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
In fact\u2026It can cause real problems, because they may even think that you\u2019re lying! And before you know it\u2026You\u2019re fighting about it! So in this case\u2026You have to be understanding about it.<\/p>\n
But what about the other times? Are they really lying? Like in this email, for example. Say\u2026 Lying about going to a therapist appointment when they really didn\u2019t go. Your loved one might do something like that. That really is lying.<\/p>\n
So why would they do something like that? Well\u2026They might not want to disappoint you. That could be one reason for it. Or they might lie about taking their medication. They might not take it because they might not like what it does to them. Or they might feel that they don\u2019t need it. So they tell you that they\u2019re taking it, when they\u2019re not.<\/p>\n
This lie might be because they don\u2019t want to be told what to do, or simply because they don\u2019t want to take their medication (a specific thing).<\/p>\n
So what can you do about it? If you can, you need to talk to them about it. You need to set down consequences for their lying. And then you need to stick to those consequences if they lie again.
\nSo that eventually they will stop lying, because they don\u2019t like the consequences.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
I have this friend, whose children are grown adults now, with children of their own. But she told me this story about one of them one time. She was trying to teach her children about lying, and about how it was wrong to lie. And one of them said: \u201cWell, Mommy, is it a lie if I tell you it\u2019s a lie?\u201d Well\u2026You kinda have to think about that one.<\/p>\n
Children do say the darnedest things sometimes,<\/p>\n