Hi,<\/p>\n
Are you familiar with The Serenity Prayer? It goes like this:<\/p>\n
God grant me the serenity
\nTo accept the things I cannot change
\nThe courage to change the things I can
\nAnd the wisdom to know the difference.<\/p>\n
———————————————————————————————————————<\/p>\n
Well, today I\u2019d like to talk about the \u201caccept the things I cannot change\u201d part. This is probably the hardest part for most of us to do, especially when dealing with a loved one who has bipolar disorder. It\u2019s natural for us to want to change things we do not like, or the way things are going if we don\u2019t like them, or to even want to change our loved ones if we don\u2019t like the way they are acting.<\/p>\n
The problem is, we can\u2019t do any of that. We especially cannot change our loved ones, because you can\u2019t change another person \u2013 they have to change themselves. It’s trying to change the things you CAN’T change that leads to stress and anxiety, which are bad for you.<\/p>\n
They are even worse for your loved one, Because if they try to change things that they can\u2019t change and they experience stress and anxiety over it, this can even lead to depression, which can lead to a bipolar episode for them. So both of you need to learn to accept the things you cannot change. Because for both of you, stress and anxiety can be bad.<\/p>\n
So how do you do that (accept the things you cannot change)? Especially when it comes to
\nyour loved one and their bipolar disorder? First, let\u2019s look at some truths about change. There are some things you CAN change, but there are other things you CAN’T change.<\/p>\n
You can’t change other people. It’s up to them to change themselves. And that’s only if they want to \u2013 you can’t do it for them. You can’t always change the situation around you (although sometimes you can, and I’ll talk about that in a minute). You can’t change the world, as much as you might like to sometimes. You can’t change the place you’re in, usually.<\/p>\n
Especially in this economy. Most of us are lucky to be holding on to our homes these days, and couldn’t afford another house even if we wanted to. You can’t change things. Things just are the
\nway they are. For example, you just can’t change the fact that your loved one has bipolar disorder. It’s just a fact. You may not like it, but you also can’t change it.<\/p>\n
The only thing you can do about things you can’t change is to accept them. A friend of mine told me this quote from one of her daily readings, and I think it applies here:<\/p>\n
“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation \u2013 some fact of my life \u2013 unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”<\/p>\n
I think that’s what it’s all about. Finding serenity, or peace of mind, in whatever situation you’re in. In other words, accepting what you can’t change. If you can come to the place where you
\ncan accept that your loved one has bipolar disorder and you can’t change that fact, then you can do something about it \u2013 You can start learning how to manage it.<\/p>\n
Remember the old expression, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?” Well, this is sort of the same thing. You can work with what you have, if you accept it. If you don’t, it won’t get you anywhere, anyway. And it might make you sick, trying to change what you can’t change, getting all stressed out. And that is something you DON’T want!<\/p>\n
For a supporter, maybe stress won\u2019t put you into a bipolar episode like it might your loved one, but the stress can make you not as good a supporter as you can be, if you don’t accept the things you can’t change.<\/p>\n
The main point I’m trying to make is to accept the things you can’t change, and work with the things you CAN change, and you’ll be much more able to be the supporter you want (and need) to be.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Are you familiar with The Serenity Prayer? It goes like this:<\/p>\n
God grant me the serenity
\nTo accept the things I cannot change
\nThe courage to change the things I can
\nAnd the wisdom to know the difference.<\/p>\n
———————————————————————————————————————<\/p>\n
Well, today I\u2019d like to talk about the \u201caccept the things I cannot change\u201d part. This is probably the hardest part for most of us to do,<\/p>\n