Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever seen this commercial for a chocolate candy that is made up of AIR in the middle?
\nThat\u2019s right, just AIR! And they\u2019re marketing this like it\u2019s a desirable thing! Like you\u2019re supposed to want it, and want to pay more for a candy that\u2019s nothing but AIR in the middle! Am I wrong here, or are they just insulting my intelligence, but I don\u2019t think that this is a really good thing here. I think this is an EMPTY thing (just air) that they\u2019re trying to make us believe is something desirable, something we should want and think is really cool. Well, I for one, don\u2019t think it\u2019s really cool. Or desirable. I think it\u2019s a rip-off.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think in this life that you get something for nothing. I think that \u201cYou get what you pay for,\u201d as the saying goes. Like even with bipolar disorder: You get what you \u201cpay for\u201d even with bipolar disorder – in other words, you get what you expect.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what I\u2019m talking about: Say that you wake up in the morning, and you expect that today is just going to be more of the same, that your loved one is going to be just as bad today as they were yesterday, and there is just no hope. Well, guess what? You get what you pay for! Chances are\u2026Your loved one WILL be just as bad today then as they were yesterday. You\u2019ve kind of \u201cdoomed\u201d them to no improvement, because you don\u2019t expect any more from them than that.
\nAnd if that\u2019s the way you\u2019re going to be, you\u2019re kind of enabling them. When you enable your loved one, you allow them to continue unacceptable behavior, because you don\u2019t expect any better of them. So why should they even try to do any better if it\u2019s not expected of them? I mean, if you don\u2019t expect it of them, why should they expect it of themselves?<\/p>\n
Have you ever heard the expression: \u201cIf nothing changes, nothing changes.\u201d It might seem obvious to you, but it\u2019s true. Nothing changes unless you change it. But if you don\u2019t see that anything needs to change, you\u2019re not going to change it. In other words, if everything is going along, and you think that everything\u2019s fine, you won\u2019t see a need for change. That\u2019s how your loved one will be. Yet they may be doing things that are unacceptable to you. They may be doing things like in a bipolar episode that have no consequences to them, so they won\u2019t see any need to change their behavior at all, but these things can really hurt you. And you may be feeling some really bad feelings inside because of this. Some negative feelings that you\u2019re just stuffing.<\/p>\n
Feelings like:<\/p>\n
\u2022 Frustration
\n\u2022 Anger
\n\u2022 Disappointment
\n\u2022 Mistrust
\n\u2022 Loneliness
\n\u2022 Self-Pity
\n\u2022 Resentment
\n\u2022 Guilt
\nAnd if you keep stuffing these feelings, well\u2026You \u201cget what you pay for\u201d there, too. In other words, it could make you sick. It will come out in some way. Like give you headaches, stomach aches, body aches, etc. So you have to do something about it. You have to talk to your loved one about their unacceptable behavior, and even set some limits or consequences to their behavior. I know it may be the last thing you really want to do. But still\u2026For your own sake\u2026You have to do it. Or you\u2019re going to get sick, and you don\u2019t want that.<\/p>\n
The best thing to do is to wait for a time when they are receptive to you, maybe a time when they are in a good mood, and just openly share your feelings with them. Hopefully, they will hear you and be willing to change and accept what you have to say. At least you have to try.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever seen this commercial for a chocolate candy that is made up of AIR in the middle?
\nThat\u2019s right, just AIR! And they\u2019re marketing this like it\u2019s a desirable thing! Like you\u2019re supposed to want it, and want to pay more for a candy that\u2019s nothing but AIR in the middle! Am I wrong here, or are they just insulting my intelligence, but I don\u2019t think that this is a really good thing here.<\/p>\n