Hi,<\/p>\n
I am running late today. It sure it hard to get up
at 6:00am on a Saturday morning. Oh well at least
I am young and I will bounce back (that’s
what older people tell me anyway).<\/p>\n
Today I wanted to share a huge lesson with
you related to bipolar disorder. Actually
I was thinking about it yesterday when
I got a call. Actually if you tried to
call me yesterday I had 57 messages.
Two of my phone voicemails were 100% full.
It’s not because of anything related to
bipolar disorder or my mom but because
of a big problem I am having in one of
my businesses that I use to support this
organization.<\/p>\n
Anyway that’s not important to you unless
you tried to call which some did in regards
to the job positions I posted online. If
you did, and couldn’t leave a message yesterday,
today you can.<\/p>\n
Okay I am going to ask you…<\/p>\n
ARE YOU MAKING THIS MISTAKE WITH YOUR LOVED ONE
WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n
Yesterday I got a call from someone. She wanted
to return one thing she got from me. She
asked, where do you send it back. I told her.
Then since I get virtually no returns because
my material is really good if I do say so
myself (NO, this isn’t a sign that I have
a personality disorder where the person says
his\/her work is good LOL).<\/p>\n
She said it was good but her brother said
to send it back immediately. She said
the brother didn’t want her to have it.<\/p>\n
NOTE-She is the supporter, the brother
has bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
I was totally shocked. I thought I was
confused, I asked “So, your brother
has bipolar disorder?” She said yes.<\/p>\n
I said, “And he doesn’t want you to have
my material related to bipolar disorder?”<\/p>\n
She said yes. I said, “And he has bipolar
disorder which is a mental illness and a
mood disorder and he is probably in an
episode and you are listening to him, because?”<\/p>\n
She didn’t reply. Then all of a sudden she said
“I gotta go, he’s coming. bye” and she hung
up.<\/p>\n
It was the strangest thing ever. I sat in my
chair amazed. I had some many thoughts
related to bipolar disorder going through
my head. It sure didn’t help me when I had
to do some consulting with one of my other
businesses where I was suppose to be talking
about China and it’s growth prospects through
consumer direct marketing.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I though all day about this. Things like:<\/p>\n
How do you let the person with bipolar disorder
dictate what information you as a supporter
should have<\/p>\n
Why did she tell her brother she had the material
if he would get mad<\/p>\n
Why didn’t she just say I sent it back and
really keep it (NO, I am not in it for the
money I am saying this so the woman had
some information to take control of the
situation).<\/p>\n
I wonder what’s going to happen to her<\/p>\n
I wonder if he has hit her, she sounded
really afraid when she said “He’s coming.”<\/p>\n
Should I have put a bigger disclaimer in my
material that says “CONSIDER NOT telling
your loved one about this package if
you even think he\/she will get mad at
you.” I already have this now you
know if you got my courses\/systems
but I wonder if it should be bigger.<\/p>\n
I must say, I was AMAZED. So amazed
I called a number of people and told
them what happen.<\/p>\n
I called my dad and he said something
that was really strange to me.<\/p>\n
Take a wild guess what he said and
then scroll down….<\/p>\n
SCROLL PLEASE….<\/p>\n
My dad said to me “I use to do the same
thing. I know exactly what she is thinking
and it’s wrong. That’s one reason I
never could beat this in 40 years. I
let your mother dictate to me whenever
she was in an episode. I always listened
to her no matter what she said even if
it was wrong.<\/p>\n
My dad told me to call the lady back and
tell him his story. I said, “Dad I can’t
I don’t make unsolicited phone calls
like that.”<\/p>\n
He said to me “Tomorrow you should tell
your people on your thing take control
of the situation when your loved one
has bipolar disorder and is an episode.
And when you know in your heart something
is good for them, do it.”<\/p>\n
First my dad calls you all “my people.”
He calls my newsletter list “that thing.”
He doesn’t get the entire internet thing.
It’s a mystery to him.<\/p>\n
Anyway as I look back, he is right. There
were so many times my dad bent to my mom’s
bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
When my mom was in a bipolar disorder
episode over the years:<\/p>\n
We didn’t eat together because she said
no<\/p>\n
We didn’t have vacations because she said
no<\/p>\n
She was allowed to scream and yell at us
as little kids. My dad didn’t stop her or
know how to<\/p>\n
She spends tons and tons of money<\/p>\n
Getting more and more cred.it c.ards<\/p>\n
Getting more and more shopping catalogs
to buy more and more things from<\/p>\n
She quit jobs and then we had no health
insurance and had to get on plans that cost
a ton until she got another job only to
do the same thing over again<\/p>\n
I couldn’t go over certain friends houses
because my mom said no for no reason<\/p>\n
My mom wouldn’t let my dad talk to her
doctor. NOTE-Now I have a 100% guaranteed
way to talk to a loved one’s doctor
even if no permission is given. It’s in my
supporter course\/system.<\/p>\n
My mom threw my brother out of the house
at the age of 18. For no reason. She was
in a major episode.<\/p>\n
The list goes on and on and on.<\/p>\n
I remember when I was applying to college
my mom went into an episode and demanded
that I got to a 2 year county college instead of
a top 4 year school. It made no sense at all.<\/p>\n
Thanks to my brother I went to the right
school. Today my mom thanks him as well
because she says she was sick then and
not thinking right. If my brother didn’t
step in, I would have gone to county. My
dad would not have said a word.<\/p>\n
My dad didn’t say anything. My brother stepped
in and blasted my mom. My brother at the time was
330 pounds and a really big football player.<\/p>\n
For whatever reason, my mom’s bipolar disorder
never yells at my brother. It’s really strange.
After my brother was thrown out of the house
and got bigger and bigger. My mom never
yelled at him. Ever in an episode.<\/p>\n
It’s like her bipolar disorder knows
who to do what with. My dad is 280 but
way out of shape. That’s being kind. He is
shorter than my brother. My mom has and
did scream him into submission in episodes.<\/p>\n
With me, screaming doesn’t work. She could
scream, yell and say all kinds of things
and it doesn’t work. I noticed with time,
in episodes she would scream at my dad
and cry with me.<\/p>\n
Honestly it all makes it look like it’s an
act even though it’s not. My aunt thinks
it is. I on the other hand believe that
it’s not. I believe that mental illness
is so complex we can’t figure out why
the people do what the do. There is
no clear explanation. So if you are looking
for one, you are probably going to frustrate
yourself. Once you know something is
the way it is, just deal with it. Don’t
try to know the why.<\/p>\n
Anyway, back to the story. The big lesson
is, if you are supporting a loved one
with bipolar disorder and this person
is an episode, you can’t let them dictate
to you what should be done. This is a mental
illness. a Mind illness. A mood disorder.<\/p>\n
Does it make any sense to let someone not
in his\/her right mind to make decisions?
No it doesn’t.<\/p>\n
And I know I am going to get flooded with
hate mail from some people with bipolar disorder
that say I am going to hell, I am a horrible
person because I said this. Some with
bipolar disorder think they should be able
to do whatever they want, whenever they
want when they are in episodes. That makes
no sense.<\/p>\n
My mom today is happy that I didn’t let her
destroy herself, not go to the hospital,
keep spending on her credit cards. A month
ago, she thanked me. Here’s the email I got:<\/p>\n
From:
Sent: Monday, April 30, 2007 2:30 PM
To: David Oliver
Subject: Good News<\/p>\n
Chase credit card statement came in today and all
that is owed is $156.56. I have been trying to pay
this off for over 25 years.<\/p>\n
Thanks to your help-this will be the second card
paid off since 2004.<\/p>\n
I appreciate you making this system for me to
get out of de.bt even though I didn’t want
it at first. It is a challenge sometime
but I have learned from you how important
it is to watch those pennies and save them.
Also, do no use credit cards-I do not like
to touch them-they make me nervous.
-Mom<\/p>\n
Actually when my mom got out of the hospital
I took away all her c.redit cards. It was
tough. My dad wouldn’t do it. He was afraid.
He asked me to. Which is fine. And yes
this doesn’t make 100% sense for me to
do but not him and that certainly DOES mean
he has some issues since he gets me
to do these things. I know I know for
all the therapists reading this.<\/p>\n
Anyway I did and my mom went ballistic. She
called and cried and said I was taking
away her dignity. She called everyone
and said I was a terrible son and evil.<\/p>\n
It never phased me. She didn’t get them.<\/p>\n
I then created a system to help her get She has done a GREAT job. She will As you can tell, she is happy with my Anyway, bottom line is, don\u2019t let the person You can’t ask them when they are sick. Do Well I have to run. If you want more information SUPPORTING AN ADULT? See you tomorrow.<\/p>\n Your Friend,<\/p>\n Dave<\/p>\n P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give Hi,<\/p>\n I am running late today. It sure it hard to get up Today I wanted to share a huge lesson with
out of debt. It’s actually here
http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/debtletter<\/a><\/p>\n
be out of d.ebt by the end of the year. First
time in 30 years according to my dad. She
paid off $30,000 d.ebt by herself.<\/p>\n
system :). I worked hard at it.<\/p>\n
ill dictate what you are going to do. They
will want you to NOT do anything to help
them when they are in bipolar disorder
episodes and sick. Remember that.<\/p>\n
what you think is right. I feel bad for the
lady that I spoke to yesterday. She is probably
doomed to failure with her loved one. He was
probably destroy her over time. Sad but
true.<\/p>\n
on how to effectively supporting someone
with bipolar disorder or you need help for
yourself. Take a look at my stuff if you want.
I am not pushing it on you. It’s just an option.<\/p>\n
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a>
SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a>
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/<\/a><\/p>\n
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
at 6:00am on a Saturday morning. Oh well at least
I am young and I will bounce back (that’s
what older people tell me anyway).<\/p>\n
you related to bipolar disorder. Actually
I was thinking about it yesterday when
I got a call. Actually if you tried to
call me yesterday I had 57 messages.<\/p>\n