{"id":5561,"date":"2007-05-27T05:18:00","date_gmt":"2007-05-27T09:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-stability-through-strength\/"},"modified":"2007-05-27T05:18:00","modified_gmt":"2007-05-27T09:18:00","slug":"bipolar-stability-through-strength","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-stability-through-strength\/","title":{"rendered":"Bipolar stability through strength"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>How&#8217;s it going? You know what&#8217;s funny, someone wrote<br \/>me yesterday that they wondered how I had so<br \/>much time to write emails about bipolar disorder<br \/>every day.<\/p>\n<p>Well the answer is, I make time. NO I don&#8217;t<br \/>have bipolar disorder and I am not in a<br \/>long running manic episode writing emails<br \/>about the subject&#8211;just in case you<br \/>were wondering.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s been hard these last few days to write<br \/>my daily emails on bipolar disorder because<br \/>I don&#8217;t feel well but I still get up and<br \/>do it.<\/p>\n<p>Today I wanted to talk quickly about what<br \/>I call &#8220;bipolar stability through strength.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This concept comes from a Cold War Strategy<br \/>called &#8220;Peace through strength.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p> &#8220;Peace through Strength&#8221; is the doctrine that<br \/>military strength is a primary or necessary<br \/>component of peace. This philosophy is a major<br \/>reason cited for large militaries,<br \/>and also served as the primary motivation<br \/>behind the Cold War doctrine of building<br \/>up a huge military.<\/p>\n<p>This isn&#8217;t an email about the Cold War or<br \/>military strategies BUT, this concept<br \/>is important for bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>Over the years, I noticed with my mom,<br \/>the weaker and the more we bent during<br \/>her episodes the worse they were and<br \/>became. The stronger we were or<br \/>recently since I am my mom&#8217;s primary<br \/>supporter, the stronger I was and<br \/>the less I bent, the more stable she<br \/>was.<\/p>\n<p>For example, for most of my life, if<br \/>my mom was in an episode and demanded<br \/>this or that, let&#8217;s say a large expensive<br \/>purchase that was not necessary, instead<br \/>of my dad saying no, he would let her<br \/>make it and figure out a way to pay for<br \/>it later on.<\/p>\n<p>This ultimately led to my mom demanding<br \/>another purchase and then years pasted<br \/>with many bad purchases which created<br \/>a huge financial loss.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn&#8217;t just finances either. Things<br \/>like allowing my mom to dictate NO vacations<br \/>or not eating together during dinner<br \/>were the norm.<\/p>\n<p>Each time, my dad never wanted to &#8220;upset&#8221;<br \/>or &#8220;argue&#8221; with my mom so he gave in,<br \/>which is a form of weakness.<\/p>\n<p>As a result, there were no vacations,<br \/>we maybe eat dinner together outside of<br \/>Thanksgiving, 10 times in 15 to 20<br \/>years which is really strange.<\/p>\n<p>When I started supporting my mom,<br \/>I realized that my dad&#8217;s strategy failed<br \/>and there would have to be a new one.<\/p>\n<p>I was thinking about Ronald Regan one<br \/>day and about how he advocated &#8220;peace<br \/>through strength&#8221; when dealing with<br \/>with the Soviet Union.<\/p>\n<p>That made sense to me and I adopted a<br \/>similar strategy.<\/p>\n<p>I am not mean to my mom but there are<br \/>certain things I do not bend on no matter<br \/>what. No matter if my mom cries, screams,<br \/>yells, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Things like spending money, not going<br \/>to the doctor, not going to therapy,<br \/>not taking medication, or not following<br \/>all the parts of her bipolar stability<br \/>equation. I never bend on these things.<\/p>\n<p>There are thousands and I mean thousands<br \/>of people on my list that bend all the<br \/>time to whatever their loved one demands.<\/p>\n<p>And generally these people have a nightmare<br \/>life. If you are a caretaker of someone<br \/>with bipolar disorder, you aren&#8217;t doing them<br \/>any good by not being strong when they<br \/>are in an episode.<\/p>\n<p>My mom for example is HAPPY that I am strong<br \/>when she is in an episode. For example,<br \/>she realizes if someone was strong and<br \/>stopped her from spending money years ago,<br \/>she wouldn&#8217;t have had to pay off $30,000<br \/>of d.ebt.<\/p>\n<p>OR if my dad had required vacations or<br \/>meals to be eaten at a table together she<br \/>would have memories of these things but<br \/>there aren&#8217;t any because they didn&#8217;t<br \/>exist.<\/p>\n<p>I am not bashing my dad but he did make<br \/>a number of mistakes and you can learn from<br \/>him. He knows now what he did and encourages<br \/>me to let everyone know through my &#8220;thing&#8221;<br \/>as he likes to call it. He calls my<br \/>email list &#8220;that thing.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, you&#8217;ll notice that in my courses\/<br \/>systems, supporters are strong when they<br \/>need to be and those with bipolar disorder<br \/>who are interviewed are happy they have<br \/>strong supporters.<\/p>\n<p>SUPPORTING AN ADULT?<br \/>Visit:<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11\">http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n<p>SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN?<br \/>Visit:<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com\/\">http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<br \/>Visit:<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net\/\">http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n<p>If you find yourself bending, caving<br \/>in, always having to do what you<br \/>know is not right, then you have a serious<br \/>problem. You need to strongly consider<br \/>changing strategies. Other wise<br \/>your loved one&#8217;s bipolar disorder<br \/>will probably destroy you.<\/p>\n<p>Your Friend,<\/p>\n<p>Dave<\/p>\n<p>P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails<br \/>that I have sent in the past and lots of great<br \/>information for you:<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/\">http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/<\/a><\/p>\n<p>P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give<br \/>mini seminars designed to teach you information<br \/>you can&#8217;t learn anywhere else.<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com\/\">http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>How&#8217;s it going? You know what&#8217;s funny, someone wrote<br \/>me yesterday that they wondered how I had so<br \/>much time to write emails about bipolar disorder<br \/>every day.<\/p>\n<p>Well the answer is, I make time. NO I don&#8217;t<br \/>have bipolar disorder and I am not in a<br \/>long running manic episode writing emails<br \/>about the subject&#8211;just in case you<br \/>were wondering.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s been hard these last few days to write<br \/>my daily emails on bipolar disorder because<br \/>I don&#8217;t feel well but I still get up and<br \/>do it.<\/p>\n<p> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-stability-through-strength\/\" class=\"more-link pull-right\" rel=\"bookmark\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bipolar stability through strength - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-stability-through-strength\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bipolar stability through strength - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, How&#8217;s it going? You know what&#8217;s funny, someone wroteme yesterday that they wondered how I had somuch time to write emails about bipolar disorderevery day. Well the answer is, I make time. NO I don&#8217;thave bipolar disorder and I am not in along running manic episode writing emailsabout the subject&#8211;just in case youwere wondering. It&#8217;s been hard these last few days to writemy daily emails on bipolar disorder becauseI don&#8217;t feel well but I still get up anddo it. 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