Hi,<\/p>\n
First HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!<\/p>\n
Secondly, I noticed that many people write on my blog and
insist that a) some of the things that I say
can’t be followed because I am a son
and the people writing are spouses of someone
with bipolar disorder or b) that whatever
I say will not work for them.<\/p>\n
I would like to address b) first. Where
did I ever say that 100% of the things
that I say will work for 100% of the people?
It’s very strange to me how some people
read things. It’s almost like some people
really try extremely hard to find a
reason that they will be stuck in
the current state they are in and
that there are NO possible solutions.<\/p>\n
It’s interesting to note I have
annoyed many people over the
years for refusing to
go along with things that are deemed
impossible.<\/p>\n
When I even first started this site
I was told it would be impossible it
would work. When I first started helping
my mom I was told:<\/p>\n
We tried everything
There is no hope for her
Nothing can be done
She will never be out of de.bt
We should put her away
There is NO way you can get her into the hospital<\/p>\n
When I decided to hire those with a mental
illness, I was told it was impossible
to “keep control of them.” I was told the
organization would fail.<\/p>\n
When it comes to me…<\/p>\n
I ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION NOT WHAT DOES NOT
WORK<\/p>\n
There are people on my list focused on what
doesn’t work and that’s a huge waste of time.<\/p>\n
Obviously bipolar disorder is complicated
and changes so there is no one size fits all
answer.<\/p>\n
If you are reading my information and
you find yourself so quick to find
things that will not work, how about
focusing on the things that WILL work
for you. If I have 90,000 people on my
list, obviously everything can’t work
for everyone.<\/p>\n
Here’s another point. I ask people
this all the time. If you are
following a certain course or strategy
with your loved one who has bipolar
disorder and it’s been failing and
failing for years on end, don’t you
think it’s a good time to consider
something new.<\/p>\n
Some say the definition of insanity is
doing the same thing over and over and
hoping for a different result. That’s
what many supporter find themselves in–
a position of insanity.<\/p>\n
Okay now to address point a), that
I am my mother’s son and some people
on my list are the spouse of someone
with bipolar disorder and everything
I am saying can’t work because of this fact.<\/p>\n
Here’s the thing, if you are a supporter
of someone with bipolar disorder, you have
to decide what’s going to work for you.
You get f.ree emails with tips and suggestions
and you can delete them or not follow them
at all or pick and choose what might be
helpful for you.<\/p>\n
When it comes to the most recent email that I
sent out about bipolar stability through
strength, I received blog posts and emails
suggesting it’s impossible to be “strong”
when you are married to someone with
bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
I think this is totally incorrect. I know
of many people who are, some who work
for me that have strong spouses. Strength
doesn’t mean you are abusive or mean
to your spouse with bipolar disorder it means
that you set up a certain set of rules or
boundaries that can’t be crossed.<\/p>\n
For example with my dad, it’s about
money, medication, going to the doctor
and therapy. These are some. My dad
will not allow my mom to spend money
like the world is coming to the end.
He will not stay around if my mom decides
to stop taking her medication.<\/p>\n
When I am talking about strength, it’s
these type of things.<\/p>\n
Someone wrote on my blog:<\/p>\n
“A spouse has to achieve a balancing act with their
position of strength that a son\/daughter does
not. A child will always legally be able to
come back tomorrow. Spouses may very well find
themselves in divorce court, dividing all the
assets they worked so hard to protect. Your
dad who always “gave in” did not have the same
advantage as you. HE could always be thrown out
of the family at her whim, but not you. So…
what is a spouse to do?”<\/p>\n
========
I could write an entire book about this post.
I really believe it’s way off track. First
if you asked my dad, he is totally different
today and has said over and over he would
have saved probably a million dollars
if he would have been strong and not
given in all the time. My mom says the
same things.<\/p>\n
Maybe I will do a f.ree podcast on
this but maybe not. It takes a lot of
time to create and set those up. Hmm.
We’ll see.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is, if you have been
weak and let bipolar disorder run
all over you for years, you should
consider another strategy.<\/p>\n
I know a person who has a wife with
bipolar disorder. He says to me he
needs help. I gave him all my material
and he read none of it. He currently
is staying with his wife because of
the kids. BUT, here’s a snap shot of his
life:<\/p>\n
He is on medication because of his wife
He business is suffering
He has no savings because his wife has
spent it all.
She frequently lies about him to friends,
family members, his kids and the police
He has had the police called on him
numerous times
He has been attacked multiple times<\/p>\n
The list goes on and on. He asked me
what I would do. I am not going to
tell you what I told him because it’s
complicated. BUT, if you are reading
this and this is your life, I would
ask, how many more years can you take
such treatment. This person’s wife
is destroying him.<\/p>\n
NOW I know people will say, “Dave you
don’t understand…when you have kids…”<\/p>\n
I DO understand and I will say there
is a strategy for this guy. It wouldn’t
be easy but I am sure there is no chance
that he will put the effort in because
it requires a lot of effort. He has
accepted the fact that he is stuck
and can’t better his life.<\/p>\n
He is weak with his wife’s bipolar disorder
and as a result her bipolar disorder
is totally out of control.<\/p>\n
Well I have to take off and head
over to the gym and then leave for NYC
for a meeting on Tuesday.<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING AN ADULT? SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN? HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER? Well I have to run.<\/p>\n Your Friend,<\/p>\n Dave<\/p>\n P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give Hi,<\/p>\n First HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!<\/p>\n Secondly, I noticed that many people write on my blog and I would like to address b) first. Where
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n
Visit:
http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net\/<\/a><\/p>\n
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/<\/a><\/p>\n
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
insist that a) some of the things that I say
can’t be followed because I am a son
and the people writing are spouses of someone
with bipolar disorder or b) that whatever
I say will not work for them.<\/p>\n
did I ever say that 100% of the things
that I say will work for 100% of the people?<\/p>\n