Hi,<\/p>\n
How’s it going? Today I am going to quickly
tell you something that took me a really, really
long time to figure out about bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
If you don’t figure it out and you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder, you will probably
almost go insane and have seriously hard time
being a good caretaker.<\/p>\n
Today I was originally going to write something
else in reference to my mom possibly going through
another episode. I will be writing that later on
this week because it’s really important.<\/p>\n
But yesterday I had something really strange happen
to me and it goes along with one of these key
concepts with supporting someone with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Okay yesterday I had a situation with someone
who works for me in my organization that puts
out all this information on bipolar disorder,
borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia,
etc. I call it the mental health organization
because, today, it’s beyond bipolar.<\/p>\n
So anyway this person wanted an increase in her
hourly rate. To make a long story short, I asked
for reasons why, etc. This this organization is
being funded by me and is breaking even, I have
to look at budgets and costs against revenues.<\/p>\n
So to make a long story short, later that day
at around 2:00pm or so I think, I get an
email saying the person quit. No notice at
all. Zero.<\/p>\n
Then based on what I could see NOTHING that
was suppose to be done was done. I just
shook my head and began to enact my
plan that I had.<\/p>\n
I called up a few people that work
for me to formulate a plan on what to do
and who would handle what responsibilities.<\/p>\n
Since we all have tons of things to do to
make this entire organization work, we all
would do a few things that this person who
quit did. In the meantime, we would start
a search for a replacement.<\/p>\n
NOTE:
This is not a “feel bad for Dave” story there’s
an important lesson to learn about being a
supporter of someone with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Also, note, this particular person did NOT
I repeat did NOT have bipolar disorder based
on what I was told. <\/p>\n
Okay so by the end of the night, we got it
all worked out and know who is going to be
doing what and figured out all the things
that were not done.<\/p>\n
Right now there are still some things not
done but they will be done today.<\/p>\n
Well, last night I was talking to my dad
and I told him what happen. He was totally
shocked. He said, “why would she quit like
that?” I said “Dad I have no clue, I am
not going to waste my brain power trying
to figure it out.”<\/p>\n
Then I pointed out to him how in the old
days, when my mom was not under the right
treatment plan, and she would say and do
all kinds of things, we would try to figure
out “why.”<\/p>\n
Then it hit me. I had to write you a message
about this.<\/p>\n
“Why” is deadly in reference to bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
I use to have this happen to me. I would wonder.<\/p>\n
Why does my mom scream and yell all the time
Why did she say this or that about me
Why did she say this or that about my dad
Why is she writing mean letters to other family members
Why did she do this or that
Why did she totally mistreat my brother<\/p>\n
Then I would spend DAYS thinking about:<\/p>\n
Was she mistreated as a kid?
Did I do something wrong?
Did my dad something wrong?
Maybe something happen to her growing up that made
her this way?<\/p>\n
So on and so forth.<\/p>\n
And then finally one day I figure out that why and
bipolar disorder do NOT go together generally. Once
I stopped asking why I started feeling better.<\/p>\n
I accepted that with bipolar disorder, if a person
is not under the right treatment plan, he\/she can
say and do anything and there will be no logical
reason why. It’s random. It won’t make sense. You
didn’t cause it. It’s all in their heads not yours.
Etc.<\/p>\n
This is a HUGE and I mean HUGE lesson to learn
when supporting someone with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
I use this outside of bipolar disorder and mental
health as well. For example with the person who
quit. Imagine this:<\/p>\n
-You w.ork from home
-You make about a f.ull t.ime income
-You s.et y.our own hours
-You w.ork the days you pretty much want to as long as you
get your work done
-You have lots of challenging things to do so you don’t
get bored<\/p>\n
This almost looks like an advertisement but it’s NOT
that’s a description of the job the person had.
Anyway, I didn’t spend any time trying to figure
out why someone would quit a job like this
and give no notice. <\/p>\n
My dad on the other hand thought about it probably for
an hour. He asked lots of questions to get to the
“why.” I said “dad, there’s probably no logical why
that we would understand.”<\/p>\n
Can you think of one? Even if I am the worst person
in the world to work for and a total nightmare to
deal with, you would give at least one week notice
or three days notice right? So no matter how you look
at it, it doesn’t make any sense.<\/p>\n
But this is like when I was dealing with my mom
many things she did and said made no sense. At
first I tried to figure it out. I spent more
time trying to figure out the why then I did
trying to figure out how to help her. <\/p>\n
One I changed my focus, I began to help
her much faster.<\/p>\n
If you notice in my courses\/systems:<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/p>\n
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/p>\n
I don’t cover things like the different
reasons someone might have bipolar disorder
or why someone might do this or that. I focus
on solutions to problems people are having.
Many other sites online focus on why this
or that might be the case with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Some people spend so much time trying to figure
out the why only to get really really frustrated
and mad. Because when it’s all said and done,
most of the things done by someone who is not
being properly treated with bipolar disorder
can’t be explained. There is no why.<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/<\/p>\n
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
How’s it going? Today I am going to quickly
tell you something that took me a really, really
long time to figure out about bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
If you don’t figure it out and you are supporting
someone with bipolar disorder, you will probably
almost go insane and have seriously hard time
being a good caretaker.<\/p>\n
Today I was originally going to write something
else in reference to my mom possibly going through
another episode.<\/p>\n