Hi,<\/p>\n
How’s it going today? I wanted to write a quick
email before I take off to head to the gym. Someone
wrote me the other day how I deal with the stress
of bipolar disorder. I emailed back and asked
what part of bipolar disorder were they referring
to. The person wrote back dealing with the yelling,
screaming, mood swings and insanity.<\/p>\n
I was thinking that there is an important simple
strategy that took me many months to learn on
how to deal with the stress from bipolar disorder.
I call it disengagement.<\/p>\n
When I first started supporting my mom, I would
get into with her. I was always arguing with
her. Always hearing total nonsense she was
saying in her episode and trying to say
this and that isn’t true mom. I would
then try to explain things to her. I would
try to argue back that I wasn’t a bad son.
I did this for many months. MANY. I would
spend hours and hours and hours either
on the phone or in person. <\/p>\n
It was so draining that I thought I was
going to die of exhaustion or a stroke. I was
so tired all the time. I have no idea how
I was able to do it day after day month
after month. It was far more tiring that
any training with any sport that I have
ever done and I played football, baseball,
wrestled, power lifting and body building
non competitively. The most difficult sports
training was EASIER than dealing with my
mom.<\/p>\n
Then one day it hit me. Nobody told me. I
was just thinking one day, “Dave why
do you argue, why take things personally?
What get into it, why not disengage anytime
there is an argument.”<\/p>\n
So one day my mom started yelling at me
when I was trying to help out around my mom
and dad’s house. My mom started screaming saying
I was trying to take over the house (in my
head I laughed because I was thinking, “yea
right I want to take over a nightmare house
like this…like taking over a city rife with
crime and chaos :)”.<\/p>\n
Anyway instead of explaining now I am not
trying to take over the house, I am helping
because of blah, blah, blah, I just walked
away from my mom and got in my car and left.<\/p>\n
Then the next time she called and started yelling
I said, “I have to go and hung up.” I sure started
feeling better and my stress would go lower. The
less I engaged in arguments, listening to personal
attacks, the more time I had to help her and make
a system so she could take care of herself. <\/p>\n
Oh side note, I want my mom to take care of herself
NOT and I repeat NOT me. I don’t want my mom dependent
on me. If you are helping your loved one with bipolar
disorder, you want to help them before Independent NOT
dependent on you. If you have bipolar disorder, you should
want to become Independent NOT dependent too.<\/p>\n
Okay, so back to what I was saying, so I disengaged from
arguing with my mom, defending myself, etc. and I started
to feel great. Then another thing happen. My mom started
to get the connection in her head. When she would attack
me, I would leave. She didn’t like when I left or hung
up on the phone so she SLOWLY stopped doing these type
of things. I noticed she would catch herself because she
knew that I would disengage to reduce the stress.<\/p>\n
In my courses\/systems, I teach this strategy and I was
surprised that many of the people interviewed in my
material do the same thing.<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/p>\n
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/p>\n
The bottom line is, you can’t argue with someone
in a bipolar disorder episode and win. He\/she
will just say something else OR the person will
not be rational and if you keep engaging with
the person, you will wind up almost going insane
yourself.<\/p>\n
Well I have to run. Have a great day.<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/<\/p>\n
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
How’s it going today? I wanted to write a quick
email before I take off to head to the gym. Someone
wrote me the other day how I deal with the stress
of bipolar disorder. I emailed back and asked
what part of bipolar disorder were they referring
to. The person wrote back dealing with the yelling,
screaming, mood swings and insanity.<\/p>\n
I was thinking that there is an important simple
strategy that took me many months to learn on
how to deal with the stress from bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n