Hi,<\/p>\n
It’s 6:30am and I am writing early today because I have
a million things to do. Actually not a million probably
around 17. It’s funny whenever I joke around people
write me an say that this or that is not true. So
before a bunch of people on my bipolar disorder list
can write and say that there is no way I can have
1 million things to do in a day, I will tell
you I was just kidding.<\/p>\n
Okay on with the big mistake that I see so
many bipolar supporters making. It’s a mistake
I never personally made. I made a ton of mistakes
helping my mom with bipolar disorder but not
this one I am going to describe.<\/p>\n
Here it is. It’s trying to change yourself
to get along with or be able to stay around
someone who is NOT stable and has bipolar
disorder.<\/p>\n
Let me explain. I got a call from a person
yesterday. She filled out one of my f.ree consultation
certificates for non medical or non legal questions
because I am not a doctor or lawyer.<\/p>\n
It’s in all these courses\/systems.<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/p>\n
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/p>\n
Anyway, she was telling me how her husband
was totally out of control and she wasn’t
sure what to do. I asked her if she
had listened to all the parts of my bipolar
supporter course and she said no. Normally
I would reschedule any f.ree consultation
like this because I want people to go through
my bipolar course FIRST before I talk to
them about questions. I don’t want to repeat
what I have already said or written in
my course\/system.<\/p>\n
Anyway, she asked me over and over to just
give her 5 minutes of NON medical advice.
I was happy to hear her say, “I know you
aren’t a lawyer or doctor.” I want people
to be sure they know that.<\/p>\n
Anyway she told me how basically her husband
was TOTALLY out of control and he
was destroying her and she felt like
maybe she had bipolar disorder and was
maybe crazy. She said she was depressed
and angry sometimes. She had gone
to the doctor and now is taking all
kinds of medication.<\/p>\n
She wanted to know what techniques she
could use when her husband screams at her
and how she could “ignore” or “endure”
it.<\/p>\n
I cut her off nicely and said, “You are
going about this the wrong way.” You
are trying to fix yourself when you
aren’t the problem. It’s your husband
with bipolar disorder that’s not stable
who is the problem. There isn’t any
medication or technique in the world
that you can take or learn that will
work on your husband.<\/p>\n
READ THAT CAREFULLY AGAIN PLEASE.<\/p>\n
She is taking medication for herself
and hoping her husband will change.<\/p>\n
Read that again.<\/p>\n
She is taking medication for herself
and hoping her husband will change.<\/p>\n
It sounds crazy when you read it. She
is also trying to fix herself so she
can “endure” her husband’s wild manic
moods.<\/p>\n
This is absolutely the wrong approach
in my opinion. Her goal is to get
her husband into treatment and get him
on bipolar medication so he will be
stable.<\/p>\n
She is working on herself. I think because
she probably feels she has more control
over herself not him.<\/p>\n
I told her to set a goal and focus on
getting him into treatment and other
things will start to fall into place
and many of the problems she is seeing
and hearing will go away when he is
in the right treatment program with
a good doctor\/therapist.<\/p>\n
She thought about it and then realized
how for years she had been focusing on
the wrong objective.<\/p>\n
It’s not just her, I hear this every day.<\/p>\n
Bipolar supporters who take medication
because their loved ones are out of control
or try to learn techniques to deal with
a person who will forever not be on
medication.<\/p>\n
This is crazy. I am all for short term techniques
to cope and deal with bipolar disorder episodes
but not learning things to live with someone
who is not stable forever.<\/p>\n
If my mom decided to not take medication and
not do all the right things to be stable
I would never put up with it and sit around
for years and years while I suffered. I know
it’s a struggle to get someone into treatment
and that’s why I have so many techniques
on how to get someone to a doctor if they
don’t want to go.<\/p>\n
BUT, there is a fine line between trying to
get someone into treatment that goes into
an episode every now and then but not someone
you are expected to live with for years and years
who is never stable. I would not put up with that.
I also do not believe the way to go in this case
if to learn how to “endure” it. <\/p>\n
Hey I have to run. Have a nice day.<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/supporterblog\/<\/p>\n
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http:\/\/bipolarcentral.libsyn.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
It’s 6:30am and I am writing early today because I have
a million things to do. Actually not a million probably
around 17. It’s funny whenever I joke around people
write me an say that this or that is not true. So
before a bunch of people on my bipolar disorder list
can write and say that there is no way I can have
1 million things to do in a day,<\/p>\n