Hi,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There\u2019s an age old question that people ask: Why do bad things happen to good people? And that can definitely apply to people who have bipolar disorder and the supporters trying to help them.<\/p>\n
I mean\u2026Things could be going along just fine\u2026In fact, things could be going along fine for a long time, maybe even years\u2026And BOOM! The next thing you know, your loved one is in another bipolar episode. And you\u2019re left asking, \u201cWhy?\u201d But here\u2019s the thing: It\u2019s unproductive to try to find a \u201cwhy\u201d behind why bad things happen. The “why” question generally lends itself to finding fault, someone to blame. Then you might want to blame your loved one for bringing the episode upon themselves. Like, maybe they\u2019re not trying hard enough to get better. Maybe if they did this\u2026Or maybe if they did that\u2026Then they wouldn\u2019t have gone into this episode. Or you blame yourself. Maybe you\u2019re not a good enough supporter to your loved one. Maybe if you\u2019d tried this\u2026Or maybe if you\u2019d tried that\u2026Then they wouldn\u2019t have gone into this episode.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
But guilt never helped a supporter help their loved one come out of a bipolar episode. Guilt is not a positive feeling and, in fact, is a very negative feeling, but is one that is very common among supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder. Like the \u201cwhy\u201d question, guilt is not very productive. It won\u2019t help you to help your loved one at all. And it can make things worse, especially for you. It can lead to a lot of stress for you. So you need to address any guilt you may be feeling. The fact is\u2026You are NOT responsible in ANY way for your loved one\u2019s bipolar episode. Remember that they have a chemical imbalance in their brain. Sometimes the chemicals just misfire, leading to an episode. It\u2019s not because of anything you did or didn\u2019t do. It\u2019s not because of you AT ALL. So stop feeling that way. And if you are blaming your loved one in any way, stop that too. It\u2019s not their fault either. What you should be doing instead is thinking about<\/p>\n
how to cope with the episode.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You may feel angry at first. If you do, be sure that your anger is directed at the real cause (bipolar disorder) and not at your loved one. Anger, like guilt, is not going to be very productive in helping your loved one get through their episode, so you need to work through your anger as quickly as you can. While your loved one is in their episode and you\u2019re waiting for the medication or other treatment to work, try to keep your thoughts positive by remembering<\/p>\n
that they are not always this way. Remember what they\u2019re like when they\u2019re NOT in an episode.<\/p>\n
One supporter does this by looking at photographs. Another one does it by looking through a scrapbook. Still another one watches videos. And one supporter has letters from their wife that she wrote when she was stable. Do whatever you have to do to get you through the episode and be a good supporter to your loved one. Remember that it isn\u2019t always like this. The bad times<\/p>\n
always pass.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There\u2019s an age old question that people ask: Why do bad things happen to good people? And that can definitely apply to people who have bipolar disorder and the supporters trying to help them.<\/p>\n
I mean\u2026Things could be going along just fine\u2026In fact, things could be going along fine for a long time, maybe even years\u2026And BOOM! The next thing you know, your loved one is in another bipolar episode.<\/p>\n